Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and NCIS are property of their respective owners. The only thing I can lay claim to is the insanity that is my mind.
Every Man For Himself
Tony ran as fast and as hard as he could, not even sparing a backwards glance to see if his partner in crime was keeping up or if he had lost his pursuer. The only thing going through his head was a mantra of 'Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!'.
His legs were burning as he turned the next corner, but he didn't care. He made it. Tony threw himself into the supply closet. He resisted the instinct to take deep, greedy gulps of air as he watched the door slowly pulled closed by its bar.
Only a few inches to go and Tony thought he was home free. A hand suddenly grabbed the edge of the door and Tony jumped and his heart rate skyrocketed. It was only when he noticed that the hand was decidedly masculine that he relaxed slightly.
"Thanks for waiting, Tony," Xander spat sarcastically at him as he slid into the closet and forced the door closed behind him. "She nearly had me."
"Something like this is every man for himself, Kid." Then Tony thought about it. "How'd you get away anyways?"
"I used Dad's coffee as a floor trap."
Tony's eyes widened. "Messing with Gibb's coffee-brave man."
"I'll blame you."
He really hoped Xander was kidding about that last part. He said it so seriously... It didn't matter right now. Tony pushed the thought from his mind and strained his ears to listen for footsteps outside the door. Silence reigned as the two grown men cowered in the supply closet.
"What are we going to do, Tony?" Xander asked after several long minutes. "I'm not ashamed to admit I'm scared."
"Me too, Kid." Tony didn't really want to admit it, but it was kinda hard to deny at this point.
"I told you pranking Ziva was a bad idea!" Xander whispered harsh enough to make Tony flinch; his eyes never wavering from the door.
In retrospect, Tony had to agree, but he wasn't going to admit that. So he tried to defend himself. "How was I supposed to know she was allergic to itching powder?"
"Did you even read what was in it?"
"I don't know what's in it. It's homemade stuff an old college buddy of mine makes."
Xander shook his head. "That's so much better."
"At least it was only a mild reaction."
"I don't think Ziva sees it that way," Xander pointed out. "Did you see how red-"
Tony cut him off with a reluctant nod. "Ya, we're dead men."
Both men jumped as the sound of harsh, angry footfalls rang through the air. Both had been around Ziva enough to recognized the sound as hers. They also knew she could have walked quiet as a ghost if she had wanted to.
"Ok, this is it," Tony declared straightening himself with resolve. "I'm sorry I abandoned you before, but whatever happens next we'll face it together. We'll take it like men. Right Xander? Xander?"
Getting no response Tony looked to his side only to find empty air. "Xander?" he asked again, frantically looking about for the other man. All he found was office supplies. "How did he-?
Suddenly the closet was bathed in bright light as the door was ripped open. Ziva stood in the doorway with an expression made only more furious by the red welts on her exposed arms and face. She deftly reached over and grabbed something off one of the shelves and stalked toward him with a predator's grace.
Tony had never felt so threatened by stationary in his entire life.
