A/N pt. 1 - Tyler knows the Visitors are evil. This will explain his behavior later in the chapter...teehee!


Chapter 3
In which Jack receives a high five. A really, really high five.


"Should we...here?"

"Jack, it's..."

"Too soon?"

"It's a church."

"Oh! Right."

Jack and Erica were still standing in the middle of his office, his hands at her waist and hers resting on his chest. It felt a bit like a romance novel, albeit an awkward one. They'd been making out quite furiously, and wondering what to do about their accomodations, or lack thereof.

"I'd take you to my house," said Erica. "But...I guess I would need a shirt."

Jack nodded solemnly, and Erica could tell he'd taken her statement as indication that they wouldn't be doing what they so wanted to be doing. Seeing that resignation in his eyes, Erica made the face she always made when faced with a tough decision. Attacking the Visitor transport, risking everything to wipe out Anna's supply of soldiers, and now this. With a tense and determined brow, Erica made the choice.

"Screw it. I'll run."

Apparently, the prioritization of propriety dicated that a partial streak through a church would be a lesser evil than screwing a priest in one.

"Let's go!" Jack said exuberantly. He'd always been good at following Erica's lead.


Travis happened to look up from his desk as a man and a woman, hand in hand, ran past his office at full speed. "I'll be back!" he heard Jack shout. Travis chuckled to himself and sighed in a way that only an old, wisened and possibly alien priest could. He sincerely doubted Jack would be back any time soon, if he came back to the church at all.


And then, there was sex.

And it was good.


The next morning, Jack awoke to the sound of birds chirping, the sun streaming in the windows, and the freshest air he'd ever breathed. It felt like paradise. Then he remembered he'd fallen asleep in the arms of the woman he loved, the woman that loved him back and had proven it all afternoon and into the night. This was better than paradise - it was Erica's bedroom.

On his back, Jack looked to his right and saw Erica still asleep, face down in her pillow, on her stomach beside him. They were naked, and the blankets they'd cuddled under all night had been pushed down to their waists. It seemed Erica was a restless sleeper. Her back was bared, down to the point where her lower back started to curve up into something else. Jack's first instinct was to cover her, and he reached for the end of the sheet, pulling it up to her shoulders. Then it occurred to him that he'd already seen her entire body, up close and very personal, and Erica had not been shy about it at all. The corners of Jack's mouth turned up in a smile, and he gently pushed the sheet back down to her waist, his hand caressing the soft skin on her back as he did so.

"Mmm..." Erica moaned sleepily. "That feels nice."

Jack chuckled, keeping his hand there. "I'm glad."

Erica stirred, lifting first her head, and then propping herself up on her elbows; just like that, she was awake. "All of it," she said, a smile forming slowly on her lips. "Felt very, very nice."

"Really?" Jack said hopefully.

"Really." said Erica, smile growing bigger. It made her curious, though. She bit her lip and started to ask, "That wasn't...your first...?" Jack grinned sheepishly, but before Erica could learn exactly what he was sheepish about, she stopped him. "Wait." she said. "Don't tell me. I think that's a case that can remain unsolved. Or a confession that can remain...un...confessed?"

Jack and Erica stared at each other with straight faces, until they both burst out laughing.

"Are you always this goofy in the morning?" Jack asked her.

"Only after a night of-" Erica almost joked, but she trailed off, distracted by a sound from outside. There was a distant buzzing, getting louder and louder, until it seemed to stop right in front of the house. It was Tyler was arriving on his motorcycle, in such a rush to get home he parked on the lawn and ran straight inside before he'd even taken off his helmet.

"Mom!" Tyler shouted, sounding like he'd just won a million bucks. They heard his feet on the stairs, running toward her room because he had something very important to tell her. It couldn't wait, and it's not like his mom ever needed privacy. Right?

"He's not going to...?" Jack began to ask, even as Erica quickly pulled the sheet up to cover their bodies.

"Mom!" Tyler shouted again as he reached for the handle.

"Tyler, don't-!" Erica nearly said, but the door swung open before she could finish. Tyler burst in, his hand still on the doorknob when he realized she had a man in her bed.

"Whoa." he said quietly, at first too shocked to have a real reaction. He then almost burst into laughter, because he recognized that man as his mother's priest friend right away. "Holy shit." Tyler said, turning his back on them and giggling.

"Tyler!" Erica scolded him, for so many reasons.

"Sorry, Father." Tyler said, trying very hard to hold back any more laughter. "No pun intended."

"Tyler could you please wait outside?"

"But, Mom! I have something really really important to tell you!"

"Ty..."

"The Visitors are leaving!" Tyler blurted.

Erica and Jack sat up, staring at the back of Tyler's head, and then at each other.

"Come again?" said Jack.

"What are you talking about, Ty?"

"Get your clothes on and come downstairs!" Tyler begged them. "It's on every station!"

Sure enough, once Jack had thrown on his pants and Erica wrapped herself in a fluffy robe, they ran downstairs and found that every media outlet in the world had one video on constant repeat. It was Anna, announcing to the planet that the Visitors had achieved all their goals and were leaving the solar system immediately.

"Is this not the most totally awesome news we have ever gotten? Ever?" Tyler asked his mother, who could only laugh, allowing herself a moment of relief before reason took over.

"But, what if they're lying?" she said. "What if this is part of their plan to lull us into a false sense of security?"

"They're not lying, Mom." Tyler said proudly. "I talked to Lisa before they left." he explained, looking only slightly sad that he'd never see his girlfriend again. She was a lizard underneath the hot exterior, but he trusted her. "She said it's for real, that they're leaving for good and the only way they'll ever come back is if -"

Tyler's phone rang, and he stopped talking so he could check who was calling. "Brandon!" he shouted joyfully into the phone. "Where the hell have you been?..."

As Tyler wandered off to chat excitedly with his buddy, Erica turned her body toward Jack and wrapped her arms around his waist, her eyes still glued to the television. Damn. she thought. I'll probably have to go into work today. All I want to do is hug Jack. And by 'hug', I really mean-

"Huh." Jack said slowly, as if he was just coming to a major realization. Erica tore her eyes away from the TV to look at his face. His mouth hung open most adorably, his brow furrowed in a way that implied deep thought. He was still mesmerized by the footage, the commentary, the bigger meaning of it all.

They were free.

"Jack?" Erica said, her heart turning to Jello as Jack's look of deep thought transformed to one of awe and wonder. A smile formed, and he chuckled once, then twice.

"I think..." Jack said, looking at the television.

"What?" Erica prompted him.

Jack's eyes turned upward for a brief moment, and then slowly side to side, as if he was waiting for another sign. But he had his sign, and it was bigger than any sign any human had ever received.

"...I think God just high fived me."

Erica's smile grew as his did, and after a few more moments of staring at nothing in particular, Jack looked into her eyes and grinned. As the last Visitor transport left the Earth's surface, Jack was kissing Erica, and the world was safe once again.

The End.

:)


A/N pt 2: That's right, folks; this whole invasion thing was really just a ploy to get Jack and Erica to hook up. Or perhaps their lovechild is the key to defeating the Visitors and therefore the salvation of humanity? Either way, Anna knows what's up. I'd like to share with you now the original version of this fic, in its purest form:

Jack: Father, I have had impure thoughts about a woman...
Travis: Dude. Go for it. I'm not joking. God would high five you.
Jack: Heeey...are you a V?
Travis: (shifty eyes of a liar)...nooo?
Jack: ...okay, I'll be back in like five hours!

Jack: God, please give me a sign that you're okay with this...
(Erica's clothes burn off in a vicious V attack)
Erica: Jack, what are you looking at?
Jack: (gulp)...I apologize, but...the lord hath blessed you with an amazing rack!
Erica: (looks down). oh my god, OH MY GOD, I'm naked!
Jack: Here, take my shirt!
Erica: Well, now that we're both naked...(Erica whips shirt into a rope and swings it around Jack's neck, pulling him closer) Clothe me with your BODY, Jack! (hug hug hug)
Jack: (makes sound he made when Erica said 'Step aside, priest.')

From that, three chapters of just-shy-of-crazy were born. Thanks for reading!