The moment the door closed behind me I stood there with my eyes closed, taking a deep breath, in hopes of calming the emotions I was feeling at the moment. I opened my eyes and looked around the hallway trying to figure out what to do now. If I went back to my dorm I would most likely sit there for hours until resolve caved and I begged Alice to tell me where Edward was. Part of me was already breaking to see him again, even if it was just a glimpse of his hair.
Pathetic. Just PATHETIC Bella.
I shook my head trying to clear the mini Bella Devil Advocate trying to whisper in my head to run back inside the door behind and started walking. I found myself walking down the stairs until I found myself in the lobby. People were everywhere. Flyers littered the floor and sounds of constant chatter filled the air around me.
"Bella!"
I looked around for the source until I spotted Sheila sitting on a black sofa near a window in a corner of the lobby. She was waving her hand frantically, motioning me to come over. I smiled back at her as I made my way over and sat down beside her.
"Hey Bella, are you okay? There's a vending machine down the hall I can get you a water?"
"I'm okay, really. I was just surprised"
"So are they like old friends? It seemed pretty tense in there when I left"
"Yeah they're old friends. They were my friends my junior year, well Alice was my friend Rosalie mostly tolerated my existence with glares. They moved away the beginning of senior year so I'm just surprised they're here. I figured I'd never see them again", I told her as I looked down at my charm bracelet. I didn't even realize I had started playing with it, rolling one of the charms between my fingers. I had a charm for Edward but I kept it in my jewelry box, tucked way safely. I had worn it but seeing it made the pain and emptiness I felt increase tenfold until I could no longer bare it. His charm was a lion, to remind me of his words, so long ago, on our first day together in the meadow.
"Well, look at it this way, now you guys can be friends again!"
"I don't know. Things ended pretty badly and opening up old doors doesn't seem to be that could of an idea to me right now", I replied back.
"What happened", she asked curiously as she tilted her head slightly to the side.
"I don't really want to talk about that. Sorry", I smiled slightly at her, hoping she wouldn't be upset. I really liked her and I hoped that we could be really good friends. She reminded me of Angela.
"It's okay. I understand but if you ever want to talk I'm here", she said softly while giving me a hug, which I returned awkwardly.
"Okay I believe what you and I need is some serious initiation into college life! Something to start our year off with a BANG!"
She was basically bouncing in her seat as she said this, so loudly that a couple of people looked our way. I could feel my face reddening as I met a few of their gazes.
"What do you have in mind", I asked warily and slowly.
"I was talking to a few people earlier and some of them told me there's a fraternity throwing a party tonight. I figure why not go? Have fun this weekend before our classes start", she said excitedly.
"I don't know. I'm not really a party person"
"Come on it'll be fun. Plus you can't go to college without experiencing a frat party just once. It's the whole point of going to college in the first place"
"I thought getting an education was the point of college", I retorted to which she rolled her eyes.
"That's the reason we give our parents. It's all about the party hun", she replied dryly. I couldn't help but laugh at her.
Maybe this is what I needed, something completely different than what I would normally do. Edward left me and I needed to push myself to accepting that. He wanted me to experience life as a human.
Like tricking me to going to junior prom.
Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go to a party. If all else failed I could leave if it wasn't my type of thing. I couldn't really judge it now since I'd never been to one before.
"Please Bella, go to the party with me. I really don't want to go by myself since I probably won't know anyone there," she said as she had her hands together in prayer form.
"Okay, I'll go but if it's nothing spectacular I'll leave", I told her. I tried to look stern but I doubt I pulled it off.
"Oh my gosh! Yay! You are not going to regret this, I promise you", she said as she started doing a happy dance in her seat.
"We'll have to get ready soon because it's going to take hours to get ready"
"Hours?"
"Yes, hours silly. A girl has to look down right smoking to catch the eye of some hot frat guy. We need at least three hours tops and look it's already five! Let's go", she told me before grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the couch. I followed behind her as she headed for the stairs. I really hoped they fixed the elevator soon because I could just imagine the injuries I'd endure from taking the stairs every day. The life of the vertically challenge.
I could hear the raining pounding on the windows as we climbed the stairs. I tried to remember if I'd packed an umbrella in one the boxes and prayed I did when I couldn't be sure. I really didn't want to look like a wet rodent twice in one day.
As we reached our floor my eyes automatically shifted to their room. Thankfully their door was closed, so I didn't worry about one of them coming to talk to me again.
As I walked passed their door I tensed a little before sighing out of relief when it remained closed.
Shell opened our door and I followed behind her to go sit on my bed. My thoughts drifted to the party and what this could possibly mean for me. I was taking this as a step to show Edward that I had indeed lived my life. I didn't want him to think that his little human had withered without, regardless of the truth in it. I didn't want him to know that my human memory never forgot him even though he said I would.
He left me so easily and without a second glance that the thought of him knowing how much my life was affected by his departure shamed me. I had nothing in my life after him. No love. No friends. Nothing. While he had probably moved on to someone new and exceedingly beautiful like him without a problem. He didn't have to live without his love because he didn't love me. He didn't walk around like someone removed his purpose for living.
As I thought this I could feel myself get angry. He left and I suffered.
I decided right then and there that I wouldn't suffer anymore.
If you can live without me then I can live without you.
I walked over to my closet and tried to think of what to wear. Tonight was the start of my life again. Tonight my pain wouldn't own me anymore.
Tonight was going to be a night to remember.
So I'm not really sure about this chapter. I have rewritten it over and over trying to figure out how Bella should go after the last chapter. I thought she should be angry. Edward left her and I always thought she forgave to easily. I mean he should work for it. And I promise they will get together but he's going to have to do a lot for them to get there.
I wanted her to gain to ground. Instead of depending on someone else to make her happy I wanted her to come to the realization or at least the confidence to try and go on without him. As for Edward…I was going to have show up in this chapter but the way it came out didn't seem right. So I'm going to try and make him pop out soon because I'm dying to have him in my story already.
I kinda feel like I did a crap job on this chapter…so flame me freely if I failed you.
Also THANK YOU to the few people who reviewed my story…you guys are the reason I've made it this far. I was starting to lose hope until I saw those reviews.
Lemme know what you think.
