I closed my locker door and headed over to Jessie. We were both stopping and getting our lunches from our lockers and switching our books out for the ones we would need for the afternoon. She didn't bother with a hello when I walked up, just gently picked up her flute case and shut her locker. Sometimes when she did this I wondered if she was on the brink of shutting down. I would never know because even though she trusted me with her secrets, there were still things that kept to herself. I said my hello and we started upstairs. All the freshman lockers where stuck in the lower level, the basement, of the school. The heads of the school, the principle and teachers, were always talking about how age shouldn't matter and each grade should mix and get along. The way the lockers where setup proved that they didn't care.


After we sat down and I picked my lunch out of bag gingerly I waited. I didn't know what to expect of my band friends. I got "hey" from everyone and then the conversation started up. The therapy session from yesterday was over and replaced with more light conversations. This time when I didn't understand the conversation and wasn't talking, I was still included. Unlike the previous day when I was being ignored this time it was just that I was there, accepted, but not something to put much effort into. Today I was free to talk when I wanted to instead of waiting to be talked to.

I watched as Carolina went into the band room only to return with her clarinet. She walked into an empty practice room near where we all ate, I heard each note she played unless our laughter was to loud. I knew Carolina practiced often but skipping her lunch, or just eating it partially didn't seem right to me. I heard Avery go into the practice room and try to lure her out. When Avery finally came out, giving up for the day, he told me she did this almost every free period she had. She was a perfectionist, that's what everyone thought, but I think I knew what she was really doing. Sure she wanted to be perfect, but the deal with Carolina is that she didn't feel that she was good enough to be playing in the band she was in. I heard her call it Wind Ensamble and I knew that that meant she was an amazing player. I wish that she would believe it herself.

The next thing I knew everyone was practicing something. Avery, Mick, and Tony where playing around with the piano they had in a practice room making up their own pieces or playing band songs. Jessie had her flute out, and Laura went to where Carolina was practicing to talk about different ways to play school songs. I just sat there for a few minutes taking it all in until another one of my friend's Kat walked up followed by some tall guy I had never seen before.