Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of updates. Yesterday was my birthday, so I was away from my computer the entire day. I apologize, and here are 2 chapters to make up for it :)
Disclaimer: Slaves, slave owners, and most minor characters belong to me. Everything else that is the wonderful world of Narnia is credited to C.S. Lewis and Walden Media.
67. Snow
Life without Calla and Lamis was difficult, more so than it had been, that was for sure. Edmund hadn't realized how close he had gotten to them until they were gone. They had been the only ones he could really talk to, and now that they weren't there, his mind was flooded with thoughts he didn't want to harbor.
The days were starting to grow shorter and colder. At first, Edmund had at least had Hanah to talk to. She didn't have the motherly, nurturing spirit that Calla did. She didn't have the intent, honest gaze to show she was listening like Lamis did. She dealt better with facts rather than feelings. But she was something. However, as the wind began to pick up a certain bite that meant winter was just ahead, Hanah was forced to leave him and tend to her own horses rather than help with his weaned foals. He was left alone, with nothing to do but think.
There was so much he had to think about, too. So much that he needed to unload. But there was no one there for him to talk to now. Nasrin was too young, and though she was good for a hug, she wasn't good for advice, or any other sort of comfort for that matter. Nash had seemed to harden himself against emotions and past lives over the years and wouldn't accept a sentimental story readily. Basam and Edmund weren't close enough for any sort of heart to heart conversation, and Jenae was too distraught with Lamis' leaving to talk to anyone, let alone Edmund about his problems.
So Edmund was left to think alone. At first he thought about Phillip, the freshest thing in his mind. There were so many things to worry about with him. For one was the thought of Mahir finding him. If Mahir had found him, had he really killed him? And had he made it quick and painless, or had he dragged it out? Then there was the thought of Phillip not being found and having to wander an island alone. They had been on Redhaven, but not the main island, where Edmund knew so many people and everyone respected Talking Animals. They were on one of Redhaven's smaller islands, one of the ones it owned but wasn't spoken of much. It was never mentioned in Narnian history and was never seen as very popular. That is, it seemed, until a dozen or so years ago when Calormenes had started to take over. With Jadis being ruler, she hadn't minded, and the Pevensies hadn't really known anything about it since it had never been pointed out to them for some unknown reason and they had never visited the island themselves. That meant that Phillip had been set loose on an island full of spiteful men who used Talking Animals as entertainers and pets. How was he supposed to get off safely? He would have been better off if Edmund had set him free in the middle of the Western Wild. At least then he wouldn't find any men who would capture and kill or use him.
Every time Edmund thought about Phillip, he would think of the Cair. How much he missed that place. He missed its great halls, its large rooms, its warm, comfortable beds. He missed the people, Animals, and creatures it held. The ones who cared about him and would attack anyone who laid an unkind hand on him. He missed his family.
He missed Lucy. He almost smiled when he thought of her in her night dress, running down the hall with a child's energy and sliding on the marble in her socks. She kept everyone young and happy. She was always so delightful to be around, and Edmund had never seen her sport any sort of temper. He missed her so much. What he wouldn't give for one of her hugs right now.
Then there was Susan. She had always been rather practical and stiff, keeping everyone in line. When Edmund was young, he had hated her for that. She had always been so angry at him when he crossed a line, and he was almost always crossing one line or another. But now that he was older and their relationship had improved, he had come to realize just how good of a person she was. She was sweet and caring and so full of worry, and though she had grown up too quickly in Edmund's opinion, she made for a good mother figure.
Finally, though Edmund tried his best to avoid it, he thought of Peter. He missed Peter so much it literally ached. He and his brother had grown so close over the years. They had made sure their rooms were next door to each other, and quite often, especially after nightmares, they would find themselves sharing a room. They each seemed to have a sixth sense, and could always tell when the other was in some sort of trouble. If one got hurt, the other felt his pain. Edmund couldn't believe how much more he missed his brother compared to his sisters. He loved them all, of course, but it was as though Peter was an addiction and the withdrawal was killing him.
He didn't want to think about what Peter was going through, not knowing what happened to his younger brother. He was probably blaming himself, though of course it was Edmund's fault. Peter had insisted he take some form of personal guard with him, but Edmund had refused. He had gotten sick of the feeling of being stalked, and he had insisted that just one day on his own wouldn't hurt. Of course, he hadn't meant to venture so close to the Archenland border, but he hadn't exactly had it in his mind to avoid it either. Archenland was an ally. Certainly nothing bad would happen to him in an ally's country. The fact that he had worn common clothes rather than proper royal hunting dress had just been stupid of him. He had been so absorbed in the idea of feeling like a normal person again that he had ditched anything that would signal him as a higher-standing being. He couldn't have been more idiotic. But of course, rather than place the blame where it belonged, Peter would find a way to blame himself. He always did. He worried too much, which made Edmund worry about him, and on and on the cycle went.
Edmund was surprised just how quickly the days went by when he thought about home. He would crawl into bed weak, and sometimes in pain, from thinking about home so much, but he would crawl into bed that much sooner nonetheless. He grew quieter, too, and though he knew he was worrying Nash all over again, he didn't make an effort to fix anything. He didn't see a real reason to. Thinking about home lifted his spirits sometimes and he figured it was worth it.
The more Edmund thought about home and his family, the more he missed them, and the more he missed them, the more he hated the life he was living. He couldn't figure out why Mahir was so cruel. Though he had accepted the fact that he was going to be beaten, he had never found out the reason why. Mistakes were going to happen no matter how severely they were punished. Couldn't Mahir see that? Edmund had learned from years at that horrid school back in England that reinforcement was always a better teacher than punishment, but Mahir didn't seem to have that figured out. As the days went on and Mahir only got worse, Edmund couldn't take it anymore.
160 days into his capture, Edmund finally dredged up the nerve to search for answers. He approached Nash that night, hesitant and quiet, but still searching nonetheless. At first, Nash didn't seem to notice him. He stayed curled up on his bed, facing the wall as he always did. Edmund had to sit on the edge of the bed and poke Nash's shoulder before he got any sort of reaction. And what a reaction it was. Nash jerked to a sitting position and looked ready to fight. The second he saw a terrified Edmund, he relaxed and closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry. You startled me." Nash said quietly.
"Sorry…" Edmund bit his lip.
"What do you need?"
"I was…I was wondering if I could…maybe…ask you something." Edmund's eyes fell to the bed, too shy and nervous to meet Nash's gaze anymore.
"Shoot."
"Why is Mahir so cruel?"
Nash stayed quiet for an uncomfortably long time before finally letting out a small sigh. "He's not the worst, but he has his own theories about slaves."
"What kind of theories?"
"He says that bruises fade and broken bones mend, but muscles, trained skills, and obedience never go away. At least, not under the right care. He's known around here for selling top notch slaves, and he's hell-bent on keeping that reputation. I mean, look at you, for example. When you first came here, you had been half-starved by whoever had you before and you had that bit of a rebellious streak. Now, you've got muscles, you know how to tend gardens, you've proven you're good with horses, you weaned foals, hell, you even got that unbreakable stallion of Mahir's to start to trust you. Not to mention how well you behaved around the guests, how much Asha likes you, and how you don't complain in the slightest when Mahir hits you. Those are some great qualities for future homes."
"Oh…" Edmund had always thought that Mahir was just a cruel person, but he had never looked at it from that perspective before. "So is that why he got so mad when I just went down a wrong corridor?"
"Yeah. He wanted to teach you obedience, and the best time to start is right away. Anything else?"
"Um…yeah. Why didn't I see Mahir's son until I found them on accident?"
"No one knows much about Yasir, just that he is never around. Rumor has it he's not Mahir's and Mahir is trying to hide him from whoever Yasir does belong to, but I don't buy a word of it. Personally, I think the kid's just a bad seed in his dad's eyes. I almost feel bad for him, but he'll be out in a few years."
"Can I ask…one more question?"
Nash sighed. "Alright. One more."
"What's your story?" Edmund bit his lip when Nash looked at him sharply. "I know everyone else's, but I don't know yours."
"I don't know yours either."
"Trade off?"
"Alright. I'll go first, since you asked first," Edmund smiled weakly and sat up straight, ready to listen. "I was born on the island of Galma."
"You're Narnian?" Edmund's eyes widened a bit. He had always thought Nash was an Archenlander.
"Do you want to hear this or not?"
"Sorry…"
"Yes. I'm Narnian. My dad was a fisherman and my mom was a seamstress. We lived in a pretty rundown part of the island, and we never were what you would call 'fortunate' when it came to money, but we were happy. When I was thirteen years old, some Calormene men raided our little niche. They burned every house to the ground and killed most of the people. Some of us, the younger ones, they kidnapped. They killed my parents. I was pretty much a wreck, needless to say. I didn't talk, didn't pull my own weight, nothing. Of course, few of the captives did, so when we got to Calormen with the men, they sold us for pretty cheap. I was sold to a slave trader who brought me and a few Archenlander kids to this island. Mahir bought me on my fourteenth birthday and broke me within a month. I didn't put up much of a fight, of course. But after about four months of living under him, I finally started to gain my senses for the first time in a year, and I learned to toughen up. I stopped taking his shit and started standing up for myself. I guess he kind of liked that, since he hasn't sold me yet." Nash sighed. "Your turn."
Edmund sighed shakily. "Well…first…my name's not Eamon. It's Edmund. And I'm not an Archenlander. I'm a Narnian too. Well…more or less." Nash raised an eyebrow and watched him, clearly confused. "About six years ago, my siblings and I sort of…accidentally found our way here. I was a complete ass back then, and I wound up getting myself caught by the White Witch."
"Jadis? You actually met her? Wow, that's rough."
Edmund chuckled thickly. "Just a bit. So um…"
"I'm sorry for interrupting again, but…I have one question I need to ask before you continue." Edmund looked up at him. "You aren't...King Edmund the Just, are you? It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud, but you do look a lot like what I've been told he looks like, and everyone knows the story about the Kings and Queens."
Edmund closed his eyes and nodded. His shoulders sagged with relief. He couldn't believe how much better he felt now that someone knew who he was, and a fellow Narnian at that. He looked up at Nash when it got too quiet for too long. He bit his lip when he saw his friend staring at him in utter shock.
"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Cair Paravel where you belong?"
"Because I was foolish." Nash frowned, silently nudging him to continue. "I had gotten sick of being followed around by guards all the time. I had just wanted one day to myself, to feel like a regular person again. Just one, and I didn't think anything bad would happen on Narnian soil with everything going so calmly recently. It took a lot of arguing, but I managed to convince my brother to let me slip away for a day. Of course, he didn't know I would be wearing civilian clothes and taking civilian gear. I didn't even have my sword with me. So I went out, and I don't remember much of it, but Phillip and I were ambushed by Calormenes, more specifically Tahj and his crew."
"Tahj? Well no wonder you were so skinny."
Edmund smirked. "Not really. I've always been on the svelte side. He just made it more obvious."
"So why didn't you tell him who you were and get yourself off that ship while you still had a chance?"
"Calormenes are…not exactly fond of our kind. Take Jadis' hatred of my siblings and me and instill it into the hearts of thousands of men, and you have the Calormen race. Tahj was no exception. I had heard a lot of stories about him, and just by looking at him, I could tell that he wasn't exactly the 'hold the defenseless King up for ransom' type. He was the more common 'kill the barbarian Kings and Queens on sight' type. So if I was going to have any hope of getting home, I couldn't tell him who I really was, and if I told any of the slaves on board with me, they might blab or he might overhear. There were too many things that could go wrong."
"How were you planning on getting back, then?"
"Well…I had kind of hoped that whoever bought me would either be someone I knew, someone who wasn't a Calormene, or someone who it would be easy to run away from. I had hoped the same for Phillip, my Horse, as well. But unfortunately we were both stuck with Mahir."
"Aslan knows he's the type to kill a Narnian on sight. He thinks I'm Archenlander. He has made it quite clear over the years that he hates our kind."
Edmund nodded. "I was afraid of that. I had figured he wanted to kill me anyway but didn't want to waste his money."
"So now what's your plan to get back home?"
"There's a plan?"
"You don't want to get out of here?" Nash tilted his head. "I never took you as a masochist."
"I want to get out of here, oh Aslan do I. I miss home so much it hurts. But I just don't see any way that could happen. Unless Phillip did escape and finds some way to send word to Peter, I just don't see it happening. I thought I had seen some noblemen I knew from when my siblings and I sailed to Redhaven before, and I've been searching for them when I go to the market, but I guess they were just here on that one day to purchase something, or visiting with someone or something along those lines. Everyone else here seems to be Calormene, and none of them look very pleasant."
"They aren't. It's late, Ema- Edmund," Edmund smiled a bit. "Off to bed."
"Yessir." Edmund went over to his bunk as he was instructed, and he fell asleep much faster than he had in ages.
The next morning, everything went like clockwork, as usual. Edmund took care of the horses, rather surprised when all Kamal did was pin his ears. That was the calmest reaction Edmund had ever got out of him, and it made him smile a bit. He really was making progress with the supposedly unbreakable stallion.
When Edmund went inside to do his household chores, Asha asked him to go to the market. She needed a few things for the kitchen, she said. He complied and went out, listening to passing conversations as always. However, there was one that caught his ear more than any other had before. Edmund made a point to spend most of his time following the pair of Calormene men, doing his best not to look suspicious.
"Have you heard about that barbarian King?" The first, older one said.
"Which one?" The other, much younger-looking answered.
"The one that's not missing, of course."
"Oh. Some things, but nothing new."
"I got word yesterday that he's finally gone crazy."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, hearing voices and all."
"Weren't they all insane to start with?" The two men laughed.
While they were enjoying themselves, and while Edmund was gripping his basket white-knuckle style, another Calormene man approached them.
"Don't embarrass yourselves," He growled. "If that were true, the Tisroc, may he live forever, would have overrun them already. I heard from a very valuable source that the remaining King's losing it, of course, but he's not crazy. He's just suicidal. Too bad he's got those sisters of his to keep him in line. Not to mention that rage problem of his is going full blast. That is why the Tisroc, may he live forever, hasn't sent out troops yet. He'd probably kill them all singlehandedly."
"And what 'valuable source' is this, huh? How could you possibly have this information?"
"I recently bought a Horse that was taken from there, apparently some beast who had lived on the grounds. He just loves ranting away and saying his High King will come and burn us all. Crazy animal, that one. The High King doesn't even know we're here."
After that, the three men were lost in a sudden crowd, and Edmund heard no more of the conversation. Not that he wanted to. He bit his lip to the point where he drew blood to keep his mouth shut. Paying for the items he had gotten, Edmund ran home as quickly as he could, struggling to hide the tears streaming down his face.
When he got back, he could barely breathe from running so far, his eyes stung, and his face burned from the cold. Asha asked him what was wrong, but he didn't answer, instead taking the things he had bought into the kitchen to wash and put them away. As he worked, he glanced out the window and watched as snow began to drift to the ground. It was the first snow of the season. Edmund wondered if it was snowing at the Cair as well and began to cry once again.
