Disclaimer: I don't own them
69. Thunder
Edmund woke up to the bitter sting of the chilly weather. He frowned and squeezed his eyes shut, shifting a bit to get warmer. He was barely conscious, but he was awake enough to feel someone brush their hand along his forehead and hush him gently. A voice too muffled by Edmund's exhaustion to recognize told him to lie still and go back to sleep, that whoever it was had him and would keep him safe. Edmund happily complied, relaxing a bit and falling back to sleep.
After what felt like minutes, but was in reality a couple of hours, Edmund awoke once again. He shifted weakly, keeping his eyes closed. The bite of cold air was gone and he had the feeling of being rocked gently. For the first time in days he no longer felt sick, and for the first time in well over a month his shoulder no longer pained him. Edmund sat up weakly, trying to think of a rational explanation for what was going on, other than death. He didn't feel dead. He pinched his arm lightly and winced at the pain. Nope, definitely not dead, and not in a dream, either.
"Well good morning." A familiar voice resonated through the room.
Edmund sat up straighter and looked to his left, smiling weakly at Nash. Rather than notice the wooden walls, the lack of decoration, and the small round window at one end of the room, Edmund noticed how clean and…happy…Nash looked. He couldn't remember ever seeing Nash look happy before. Edmund's smile slowly warped into a confused frown as he tilted his head a bit.
"What's with the face? Are you feeling alright? I told them you were tired…they were really nervous when you didn't want to wake up. Maybe I should have let them harass you." The happiness quickly faded from Nash's expression, which instead turned to guilt and worry.
Edmund tried to figure out what he meant by "they". Surely his brother and sisters hadn't come for him. His fever was through the roof, and he had probably just been delirious. It wouldn't have been the first time that he had seen something that wasn't there because of a fever. But what else could explain the lack of pain? Edmund, for the first time, looked at his surroundings. It was clear that they were on a ship, though it was much nicer than Tahj's slave ship.
"Nash…" Edmund's voice was soft and full of apprehension. "Who's 'they'?"
"Well the High King and the Queens, of course…" Nash wasn't at all comforted by his question, nor the look of shock and hope Edmund gave him. "Maybe you should go back to sleep…you don't look right."
But Edmund didn't hear him. Edmund flew out of his bed and dashed up the stairs. He navigated the ship easily – he had helped create the designs a few years back – and quickly found himself on deck. Standing a dozen or so feet off, he saw Susan blocking Peter's path to the door and Lucy standing just off to the side, looking nervous.
"Peter, you heard Nath. Edmund's exhausted. He went through a lot. Just let him sleep."
"He's been asleep for two hours, Susan. I want to see my brother." Edmund almost winced at how different Peter's voice sounded from what he remembered. It was full of pain, longing, hurt, worry, desperation, hopelessness. It didn't match his strong, tall body in the slightest.
"Just be patient. I want to see him too, but if we rush him all at once he might panic or pass out again, and he'll just be out for another two hours."
"But Susan-" Peter cut himself off, stiffening and going pale. Edmund bit his lip in worry before he realized that his brother was staring right at him. "Ed…?"
Before Edmund could blink, let alone form any sort of response, his brother slipped around Susan and rushed for him. He engulfed Edmund in his large arms, pressing him to his chest tighter than he ever had before. Edmund could feel his brother's tears dripping onto his dark hair and seeping down to his scalp.
"Don't you ever do that again, do you hear me?" The anger with which the words were meant to be said was drowned by the fear and relief. Edmund could only nod. "Don't you ever. Promise me." Edmund nodded again. "Stop it. I said promise, not agree. Please." The younger brother winced at the terrified tone in his brother's voice.
"I promise." He winced again, this time because of how different his own voice sounded.
After several long, but not long enough, minutes, Peter finally let Edmund breathe again. He sighed shakily and took a step back, scanning his brother with a sharp eye. He frowned at how shabby Edmund looked, and Edmund frowned at him for the same thing. The High King didn't look at all like Edmund remembered. He was thinner. His cheekbones stood out prominently. His hair was messy and his clothes didn't fit him right anymore. His eyes had lost their sparkle and he didn't carry his shoulders with pride like he used to.
"Oh Ed…" Peter's voice finally broke the silence. "I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner."
"I'm sorry I didn't make it easy." Edmund blushed slightly and looked down. "So…um…" He gulped. "How did you find me?"
"We found Phillip first."
Edmund's head jerked up. "What? Where? Is he okay? Was he hurt?"
"He's fine. Worried about you. He refused to leave your side while we were headed for the ship, and it took more coaxing than you could imagine getting him to let you be taken below to sleep."
"Where is he? Can I see him?"
Peter gave a small, pathetic excuse for a smile. He whistled, and the sound of hoof beats on wood echoed across the ship. Edmund spun around, staring widely at the Stallion that stood before him. Peter was right. Phillip looked fine. There wasn't a scratch on his body, not a hair out of place. He looked a bit thin, but otherwise none the worse for wear. Edmund tried to think of something to say, anything, but nothing came. Instead, he simply rushed the Stallion and wrapped his arms around his neck. Phillip engulfed Edmund much like Peter had, refusing to let him go for a couple of minutes. Once the two separated, much like Peter had, Phillip looked Edmund up and down, taking in his condition.
Edmund didn't know what to say to his friend. He had plenty of things he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure which of them to say first. He blinked and turned his head upward when he felt someone wrap their arms around his stomach. He met his brother's eyes and smiled weakly.
"How did you get me out of there? How is it we aren't all dead? And…why are we still at port?" Edmund hadn't realized until just then that they were still docked.
Peter nuzzled his forehead playfully. "We were waiting for you to wake up, so we could be sure that you would be okay to travel."
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Edmund's voice was still soft and weak, even more so that time.
"Lucy's cordial can fix the physical symptoms of abuse, but not the mental or emotional ones. And, unfortunately, it can't make you any stronger. We weren't sure if you would be ready to leave. We weren't sure if you would be strong enough to sit or stand, let alone bear the sea for a few days."
"Oh…" Edmund thought for a moment. Peter had a good point. Standing with him holding his little brother up wasn't too bad, but when Peter let go and there wasn't anything else to support his weight, Edmund felt rather dizzy. Peter couldn't hold him for the entirety of the trip, though there wasn't a doubt in Edmund's mind that he wanted to. "I'll be alright. I want to go home."
Peter smiled shakily. "Then home it is. We just need to wait for a little while longer for a few extra passengers."
"What do you mean?"
"The captives that lived with you are coming with us on this trip."
"They are?" Edmund looked up at Peter hopefully and smiled a bit when Peter nodded.
"The next few months are going to be pretty hectic at Cair Paravel, just to warn you. We're going to be sending troops here over the next few months to rid this place of the Calormenes. Usually we would send them in all at once, but I'm sure you know why we're going to go so slow," Edmund shook his head, though he had an idea. "We're going to have to go door-to-door and search every home for captives. Once enough homes have been cleared and enough captives found, those captives will board a ship and come to the Cair. Here, we'll sort out where they need to be sent and we'll give them an escort so they aren't taken again."
Edmund wanted to ask questions, find out details. Who would they be raiding first? Would he be allowed to see who came to the Cair, or would they want to keep him in his room to rest and avoid seeing all of the abuse? Would they let him see any of his friends? He had other questions, too. Ones that didn't pertain to the search and rescue. He wanted to know the entire story. What had happened to the Cair, his siblings, Phillip, everything from the moment he vanished. Luckily for Edmund, Peter read the questions in his eyes and gave a small smile. Just as he opened his mouth and was about to explain, someone called Peter's name. He turned his head around and searched for whoever it had been. A Faun sailor was motioning for him. He frowned a bit and nodded, turning back to Edmund.
"They need me for something. I'll be right back. I promise."
"It's okay, go." Edmund nudged him gently.
Peter bit his lip and nodded, gently combing his hand through Edmund's hair before letting go of him and walking over to the Faun. The second Peter left him, Edmund found himself engulfed by his sisters. He smiled weakly as they squeezed him tighter, blocking any view of the outside world he might have had with just one of them on him.
"Oh Edmund, we were so worried!" Lucy's voice came from behind him, and he turned his head to kiss her temple lightly.
"What happened to you? What did they do to you?" It was Susan's turn to talk, and Edmund's answer was a kiss to her temple as well.
"You should have seen Peter when he found you, Ed. That slave trader is lucky he's still alive. The wife was sweet, though, and seemed very willing to help us." He nodded, knowing that that was something Asha would have done. She was always sweet to him and he couldn't believe for a moment that she approved of what her husband did to what he owned.
The girls continued to swarm him with questions. He stayed silent for the most part, too tired and shocked to say much. They didn't seem to mind. They told him how terrible he looked and how they were going to fix him up, how they had a huge feast waiting back home with all of his favorite foods and sweets, how they had kept his sword and armor perfectly polished for his return, even though he was rather certain that they didn't think he would be returning. They told him that, along with the meal, a hot bath was waiting for him. Edmund couldn't believe how much he missed a hot bath.
Within a few minutes, Peter had returned and joined the group hug, resting his chin on Lucy's head. Phillip, too, marched up to them and lipped at Edmund's hair affectionately. They split apart hesitantly when they heard someone coming up the stairs behind them. Edmund turned and saw Nash standing in the doorway, smiling at the bunch.
"Hello Nath." Susan greeted him. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. I was a bit worried about the kid." He smiled a bit and looked at Edmund pointedly.
The group took a few steps toward Nash to make him more included. Edmund, however, hung back. He wanted to get closer, but his feet wouldn't move. A strong, cold wind began to pick up, and without the cover of his siblings, Edmund began to shiver. The boat rocked on the large waves, sending Edmund's equilibrium reeling. It only took a few seconds for his sisters and brother to realize he wasn't with them, but during those few seconds, Edmund's condition had declined rapidly.
"Peter, catch him, he's-" Edmund vision went dark, and he didn't hear the end of Susan's sentence.
He woke, completely disoriented, to a blinding light shining in his eyes. He tried to move his hand to shade his eyes, but his arms were pinned. He could hear voices and felt someone rest their hand over his eyes for him.
"Let's get you below deck," Peter's unmistakable voice whispered. Edmund shook his head, clinging to his brother's shirt when a fresh wave of dizziness bowled him over. "That wasn't an offer you can decline. We're going."
Edmund felt himself be lifted up, and the blinding light once again assaulted his vision. He tried to open his eyes but his eyesight was blurred, so he went back to squeezing them shut and burying his face in Peter's chest. He felt the temperature shift from freezing to bearable as they went down the stairs, and eventually to a comfortable climate when they went into Edmund's room. He felt himself be rested on his bed, and when Peter sat next to him, he opened his eyes a bit.
"What happened?"
"You fainted," Peter bit his lip. "Maybe we should wait a few more days before we leave."
"I didn't mean about that. I'll be fine." Edmund closed his eyes again. "I mean…what happened while I was gone?"
"Oh…" Edmund nodded a bit. "Well…"
"And don't leave out anything." Edmund sat up a bit and looked at him, borderline glaring. He was thinking about when he had overheard the men saying Peter was suicidal. He didn't want his brother hiding things from him.
"I won't."
"Not one single thing, understand?"
"Of course. What's wrong, Ed?" Peter was beginning to look worried.
"Nothing…just…I want to hear everything. I've missed you all."
"We've missed you too," Peter didn't look at all satisfied with that answer, but he decided not to hover on it. "The day you went missing, Susan and Lucy started yelling at me the moment they realized you had gone with no escort. I gave them your explanation and all, but they weren't pleased. When you didn't come back, they got even more angry. Then we began to get worried, and by nightfall we were rather frantic. Oreius, some troops, and I went out looking for you. One of the Dogs found your scent first, and we followed it. It led to a fairly dense part of the woods, and we had to search a bit before we found the dead Calormene and the arrow in the tree."
"Dead Calormene?" Edmund's eyes widened. He didn't know he had killed someone.
Peter nodded and frowned. "You had stabbed him in the chest, with a knife it looked like. You don't remember?" Edmund shook his head.
"I don't remember much of what happened that day, to be quite honest. After leaving the Cair, it's all kind of a blur," Peter bit his lip. "I'm sorry, keep going."
"Alright…we found him and the arrow, and several spots of blood, but you and Phillip were gone. The scent led to the Rush River, and then stopped. We searched for you for weeks. Almost every citizen from both Archenland and Narnia helped, and within six weeks, every square inch of the countries had been searched. A few Calormenes had been found in Archenland and brought to King Lune for questioning, but they didn't know anything about you. They admitted that they were prowling for slaves, so we arrested them, but they were innocent in your case.
"I hate to admit it, but…I was starting to lose hope. I thought you were dead. I wanted to search Calormen. I thought maybe the men had taken you there, perhaps for the slave trade or to take to the Tisroc so he could kill you himself. It took a couple of weeks of planning, but eventually a small team of soldiers were able to disguise themselves as Calormene slaves and me as a noble and we infiltrated the country. We searched for 68 days. We screened any city that was rich enough to house slaves. We asked around, we searched, we did everything we could. We came across several hopefuls, but none turned out to be you. 127 days after you had gone missing, I got word from the girls that there was trouble with the Giants in the North again and they needed us. I wanted to stay, but without my back up, there was no way I could. I had to give up."
At this point, Peter began to cry. He had been tearing up throughout the telling of the story, but at long last the tears began to escape. He wiped them away weakly, chewing on his lip to keep from crying harder.
"It's okay, Peter." Edmund whispered, wiping away the tears that his brother missed.
Peter shook his head. "I had to give up on you. I had to give you up for dead. It was cruel. You could have been just ten feet away from me, and I gave up on you."
"But I wasn't, and you didn't. You had a responsibility, Pete. My possible safety cannot be put in front of the threatened safety of thousands of our citizens. You made the right choice."
Peter gulped and nodded, steeling himself for the rest of the story. "I spent four weeks in the North. We lost a lot of men, but we won. The Giants went back to Ettinsmoor and we returned home. I didn't really care, though. I was numb to it all. All I could think about was you, and what you would say, and what you would have done, and how you would have slapped me for thinking the things I did."
"What sort of things?" Edmund watched him patiently.
"I wanted to die, Ed. I couldn't live without you. I can't. Susan and Lucy took to guarding me every minute of every day, and when they couldn't, they had a soldier do it for them. They knew what I was thinking, and I couldn't tell if they were worried or furious. Probably both. They were so gentle and careful with me, but if I did anything remotely worrisome, they would explode. I spent most of my days training with Oreius. I was too distracted to do much, but I was able to get in a few hits. You'll have to ask him to show you the scars. He scolded me quite a bit for losing it like that when we were both unprotected.
"I was a hopeless case for quite some time. I even tried it once, ending my life, I mean. Obviously it didn't work, though if it wasn't for poor Lucy and her cordial, it would have."
Edmund trembled. He took his brother's hand and squeezed hard, pulling himself close. He never wanted to leave Peter's side again. Not after hearing about that. He knew Peter had been suicidal, or, he had been fairly certain that he knew. He hadn't expected his elder brother to actually try anything, though. Peter wrapped his arms around Edmund's shoulders tightly, burying his face in Edmund's hair before continuing.
"Susan was furious. She screamed at me for hours. Lucy made me feel more guilty than I could have imagined with just one look, and everyone else made it quite clear what I would have given up and how many people needed me. After that, I gained a bit of sense, but not all of it. I refused to do anything anymore. I stopped training, helping in the court, eating, doing my lessons, everything. I spent my time either sitting on my throne or lying in your bed. You were all I could think about, at least, until about the 184th day of you being gone. That was the day Phillip found us. You'll have to ask him for his story. I think he would prefer he told you. But he found us and refused any care until he had told us exactly what sort of predicament and shape you were in. He looked terrified, and he was in such a rush to get back to you. So was I, but we were forced to wait until morning to set out to find you. Phillip and I were a couple of nervous wrecks on the sail to the island, and when we got there, we were all shocked at how many Calormenes we saw. We hadn't known the island had been so overrun. Our soldiers, sisters, and I went through the city, following Phillip's directions until we reached where you were. Most of the soldiers stayed outside and guarded the house while a few, two Dogs and a Tiger, guarded us inside. Mahir looked ready to kill us, quite literally, but he nearly fainted at the sight of the Tiger and apparently thought better of it.
"We asked to see his slaves, but he said he always insisted upon dinner first. I didn't want to wait, but Susan and Lucy thought it would be a better idea to play nice for awhile. Two of our soldiers watched as they prepared the meal. Once it was finished, we watched as Nath quickly, if not expertly, set the table. Mahir apologized for the lack of decent service, saying his regular server was ill. After dinner, he made us wait in the parlor until he was sure all of his slaves were ready to be introduced to us."
"He wanted to make it look like he was selling one of us." Edmund whispered, looking down. "Only Nasrin was left for sale, and she's so young. We thought she would be the one to be sold."
"At first, I think Mahir thought we wanted her too. He said there was only one that was ready, that Nath wasn't for sale and his third hadn't been with him long enough to be sold yet. Eventually, we got too impatient in the parlor and demanded he take us to you. We told him we wanted the third slave, the one he had had for half of a year. He wasn't pleased, but all it took was a growl from the Tiger and he led us upstairs.
"I nearly died when I saw you. You looked terrible. I had never seen you so pale and skinny, and you looked almost delirious with fever. Lucy started crying when you tried to squirm away from us, and before I could get to you, you had passed out. Susan started screaming at Mahir as I held you and Lucy gave you her cordial. I've never seen Susan lose it like that before. The Dogs had followed us upstairs and looked ready to maul Mahir, but his wife stopped Susan from giving them the order. I don't remember what she said to Susan, but apparently whatever it was, it was enough to spare Mahir his life. Susan joined us on the bed with you. Once Nath saw that you weren't feverish anymore, he got off the bed and pinned Mahir to a wall. He punched the Calormene in the face and the man fell to the ground, unconscious with one hit. Nath smiled and said he'd been waiting five years for that." Edmund couldn't help but smirk a bit.
"Once he was down, Nasrin finally got off of her bed and came toward us. She was so shy and quiet, but really sweet. She asked us who we were and if you were okay, and she looked so excited when we told her who we were. We promised her we'd get her out of there, and she should be here soon. She needed to get a few things, and she wanted to say goodbye to Asha and Sanaa. We arrested Mahir and he's on another ship right now, ready to be sent back to Calormen. His children and wife will be boarding another ship tomorrow along with several other families, but that's beside the point.
"We waited for a little while for you to wake up, but when you wouldn't, Lucy started to worry, You know how someone will usually wake up within a few minutes of her giving them the cordial, and when you didn't, we started to fret a bit. Nath, though, said that you had been through a lot and you deserved the sleep. We took you downstairs and waited with you while Nath got a cart and a couple of horses together. After that, we took you to the ship, you slept for a couple of hours, and you know the rest from there."
Edmund nodded and looked up at his brother. Peter looked so exhausted and defeated, and it broke Edmund's heart. It was obvious how much he had blamed himself and how much he had suffered.
"Peter…can you promise me something?" Edmund whispered.
"Anything."
"Promise you'll stop punishing yourself. It wasn't your fault, and you have me now. People need you, and I need you. You can work on punishing Mahir instead. It's like thunder, Peter. You've had your quick, loud, terrifying ordeal. Now it's Mahir's turn to suffer the consequences of the long wait with the big, dragged out finale."
Peter smiled weakly. "I'll do my best."
