Alice's Greatest Adventure

-Part Two: The Middle-


Authors Note: I've taken creative liberties with the characters used in AiW2010, if you've read the first part, then that much is pretty apparent. If you're still reading then I'm guessing that you don't mind to much. Also, I've attempted to "Americanize" Alice because (for one) I wanted Alice to be away on a trip when she went to Underland and (for two) I imagine a current American adult would be as rude as a Victorian English child.

Disclaimer: Original story and characters were created and owned by Lewis Carroll, character APPEARENCE was taken from the Burton/Depp adaptation. I reserve the right to use creative liberties in my own adaptation as long as I don't lay claim to any of the characters in any way. Please be aware that some characters will be seen as 'out of character' because I've 'tweaked' them a little bit... *UPDATE* I also don't own any major or minor companies mentioned.

APOLOGIES TO: Thackery and Tarrant for being so vicious as I continue to horrible mangle their accents.

Previously: Alice, while on what she intended to be an extended trip to England, gets attacked while visiting Ascot Manor during one of their tourist teas. Running away she gets shot and stumbles into Underland where she's rescued by Nevins, Tarrant, and Chessur. Spending a small amount of time with them she heads out on her own, not intending for a certain mad hatter to follow her.


It was odd, Alice thought, that despite how strange the situation was, she was actually rather glad to have an admitted mad man's arm pressed firmly at her back as he walked beside her in a land that couldn't have been real, and yet was. She knew it was without question, because she found herself continuing to wonder why Tarrant kept his hand to her back, and you didn't wonder in dreams, you just accepted; not that she didn't want to accept it, because it was a nice, warm, and steady hand. However she also didn't know the owner of the hand long enough for the hand to remain there, and if her mother ever found out that she'd allowed a man to place his hands on her only after just having introduced himself she would have a conniption and begin another one of her infamous four hour long lectures; and she doubted her mother would have any nice names to call her during it, either.

After coming to the decision that it was time for him to move his hand she turned to tell him so, only to have herself pressed against a tree with his tall frame pressed against her. Her gasp was covered by a hand and his voice shushed her, which of course did nothing for her frightened nerves as she tried to push him away with as much success as she had winning even one argument with her mother (which, she would assure you if ever asked, was to difficult and strenuous to even make an attempt at doing). It wasn't until she heard loud thumping on the ground, followed by a great many other, that she stopped fighting and pushing in order to realize they were actually hiding from someone. When he suddenly pulled her down to the tall grass and climb over her to squish and hide her blue dress under his own less brightly colored clothes she kept her mouth shut and didn't argue.

She'd already been in one tragic situation that day and she certainly didn't wish to be in another! Though it was difficult to concentrate on that, instead of how his hands held her hips or his how his breath scalded past her collar bone to cool over her breasts; which were both humiliating thoughts. She was Alice Kingsleigh, for heaven's sake! She'd turned down more attractive dates by the handful without batting an eye (though she blamed this mainly on the fact that she hadn't found them the least attractive); by the time she'd graduated she hadn't once felt at all interested in anyone.

So why in the name of all things good and holy did she shiver and twitch while there was apparently a very dangerous situation brewing not ten feet away under a man she hardly knew who's skin only paled next to printing paper and smelled of tea leaves and pastries? When he breathed out again Alice would have hit herself, except one hand had been pressed between them and the other was held in his hand at the side of her head; the realization made her twitch again and, when he had finally let her up, she all but sprinted away.

Glaring down at her dress as she brushed the long grass and smudges of dirt from the blue fabric she failed to see the hatter staring at her curiously; and when she had looked up he was dusting himself off, muttering things in a language she couldn't understand. Men were weird creatures, she decided, and to be safe around them, she would have to avoid physical contact; especially with ones where were supposedly half mad and drank tea with talking animals while they attempted to out crazy each other with strange songs and even stranger actions.

Once he'd finished he came up to her and grinned, "Sorry about that, but if we'd have gotten caught by them it would have put a hamper our freedom a bit." he was laughing, but Alice didn't think for an instant that he was joking. She began walking again, and he began following her again, each making sure that they avoided touching each other.


It was only a short while later that Tarrant decided he rather liked the way an Alice felt against him, though he didn't say it out loud, of course. Alice had felt soft and pliable, and had tucked into him perfectly; which had been nice, as most women, in fact, did not. While she wasn't fat she also wasn't thin, soft in all the places that had been pressed against him; the women of Underland were all either to fat or to thin, with the exception of the Queen (of whom he'd never touched with that sort of intention). He paused, suddenly, lagging behind to watch Alice's back; was he thinking of an intention when he was thinking of Alice's body?

He nearly laughed, of course he was, otherwise he wouldn't be thinking of her body at all! It was a good thing, he thought, that he already knew he was half mad; it saved him the trouble of having to wonder during times where he found himself thinking of things that shouldn't be thought of. For instance, Alice's waist... It was actually a thing of beauty, and the dress she wore somehow showed no hint of it! Very small without being boney, and very round without being fat, he could probably span her entire waist and have his fingers nearly touch! He had to stop his hands from actually trying, as he was sure she wouldn't appreciate him suddenly grabbing her from behind to touch her hips; though he very seriously wanted to.

He also liked her legs, but quickly found himself beginning to hate the dress... Which was odd, since, even though it was vastly shorter then the one's women from Underland wore, it was still nicely cut and crafted... But it was remarkably short; if he noticed it then others would as well. If others noticed it then they would notice her legs, and if they noticed her legs they would probably think thoughts that shouldn't be thought; much like he was doing, however whereas he controlled himself what would he do if the people thinking thoughts couldn't control themselves? However, how could he solve the problem with no fabric to sew her another dress?

"Tarrant?"

Tarrant looked up at the sound of Alice calling his name, shocked to realize she'd gotten so far ahead of him, and put his hat back on before jogging to catch up with her, laughing, "I'm sorry, was thinking of your dress." he informed her, which he hadn't intended to inform her of at all. He coughed, "Or, rather, I was thinking of a dress to make you; something that wouldn't stand out as much as the one you're wearing." there, all better now; he doubted her reaction to him wondering about her waist size would be one he found healthy for his own body... And he knew further thinking of it would do nothing to help his mind.

"Dress?" she looked down at the one she was wearing, then blushed, "Is it to short? Some of the other guests had longer dresses, but Emily had said this one would do for me and I thought it was actually kind of pretty." she fluffed the bottom in concern.

He quickly shook his head, feeling the reddish-orange mess bounce as he did so, "To short isn't the problem; while the color looks wonderful on you, it's just a bit to bright, perhaps a different shade of blue?" he asked, "Something like your eyes, that would be a good color of blue, one of my favorites." another bit of information he hadn't intended on giving, but thankfully she hadn't noticed the compliment, so he didn't feel the need to explain it away. He did, however take the chance to touch the end of her skirt, "And, perhaps, a bit shorter, too."

"Don't you mean longer?"

He dropped the dress, "Longer, yes! My mistake, hardly ever have mistakes with words, I must be needing a cup of tea." He laughed nervously, wondering at the new desire of bashing his head against a tree, it couldn't be healthy to do himself harm, after all... Was he growing even madder then usual? Clearing his throat he grinned, "Shorter wouldn't do, any shorter and it would show your thighs, not that they wouldn't very lov-" he stopped himself with a shake of his head, then finished lamely, "Longer is better."

She looked at him for a moment, then laughed, "You're somewhat of an odd man, Tarrant." she said, however the friendly smile took the sting from the words, turning them about until it sounded more of a compliment. Her softly curling hair gently laid against her back, shinning in the sun so much that he could spot other soft colors within it, pinks and blues seemed to favor the strands, though; but the best thing about it was that it curled so fairly around his fingers without the least persuasion to make it.

"Of course I'm odd, I am mad, you know; hard not to be odd when you're half mad!" He reached into his pockets, pulling out small things like buttons and thimbles as he searched around, for what he didn't know. He assumed his hands simply wanted to be busy, as they began to itch terribly, his palms almost unbearably crawling; "It's not such a bad thing, you know, I never have a boring thought... Unless I'm thinking of a boring thing, in which it's actually got to be a rather boring thought-"

"Tarrant?" Alice interrupted, looking into his hands and pulling out a sparkling silver button, "What are you looking for?"

"Just keeping busy." He shook his head, looking at the button she held and wishing he had more of them, she seemed to like it, and it certainly looked nice against her fingers. While she studied the button his fingers unconsciously began weaving string together, unintentionally weaving his fingers together into the string and trapping them in front of him just seconds before he realized what he'd done. He began trying to tug them apart when Alice's head was suddenly very close to them, a delicate golden eyebrow arched.

Slipping the button back into his jacket pocket she laughed, "What did you do?" she laughed, stepping in front of him to stop him from walking before her hands began pulling gently at the string about his fingers, "Better yet, how did you do this?" she managed to free one of his index fingers and was working on his middle finger before he even realized she'd stopped to help. She was standing close to him, frowning slightly with concentration as her smile kept itself on her face; the sent of her shampoo bathed over his senses and he found himself leaning down to smell her.

The petite girl hadn't noticed, working on unbinding his fingers instead of paying attention to the rest of his body as he took a step closer; just a bit more and he would be able to press his cheek against her head. Thankfully she made another sound of victory as two of his fingers were released from the string, and he hurriedly stepped back, surprised by the sound as much as his own bodies reaction to her nearness. She made quick work of the rest of the fingers and returned a large tangled ball of string to him, which he quickly disposed of back into the pocket it had come from to be sorted and disentangled at a later time.

Then he realized he had begun touching her hair, combing his fingers into the thick curls and playing with them as though he held no sense of proprietary, which he did have, even though the amount of it was lacking. Pulling his hand from her hair as she blinked at him in confusion he offered a wide smile and grasped about within his head for some sort of an excuse when he noticed Mamoreal's towers come into view, "Mamoreal!" he suddenly shouted, pointing his finger to the white stones thankfully. If an excuse couldn't be found and an apology couldn't be uttered (for he was not going to apologize for touching her hair when he still thought of doing it again), then the next best thing was a distraction!

He sighed in relief when Alice's gaze followed his pointing, then took her arm within his own and sped up his step slightly, "You'll love Mamoreal, everyone does, even if it is a bit to much white." He laughed nervously, "Lovely gardens, it has, and I've a workroom there as well, I can prepare you another dress while you meet with the queen... Or before, depending on what she wants, though I'd prefer to have you with me." His nervous laugh sounded, "For measurements, of course!" he added on strenuously, looking somewhat pained.

Alice looked at him for a moment, her head tilted, before they widened and she blushed as well; he began laughing louder at her reaction when he realized he couldn't stop the giggles that could very well rival Thackery's. Worried he would frighten her off he attempted a cough to cover them up, only to have a small squeeze from Alice's hand choke the laugh abruptly from him while she studied the towers they were coming closer to; "Dress first then, right?"

Looking at the tower for a moment he finally nodded, "Dress first."


When they first stepped into Mamoreal Tarrant knew something was wrong; firstly, the gate had been closed, and it was common knowledge that Queen Mirana never allowed the gates to be closed to the citizens of Underland. All were welcome to come and go as they pleased. Which brought the second thing he noticed that was off, there were no citizens of Underland running about the palace grounds, even the court members were rare and in between, and oddly dispirited, as well. Lastly, nobody wore white; at first he hadn't noticed, since he'd been involved in thinking of different dresses in which to clothe the woman at his side; but then the cream color started to sink in.

Mirana preferred white, not cream, just as her sister preferred red, not burgundy; and he didn't know of any ruler that chose cream as their official color. It had always been red, white, black, and gray (though the Gray Queen hardly ever chose to do anything but sit and think; even rarer to action then the White Queen; and the Black Queen was up to her neck in political chaos that she still hadn't managed to sort out). There was no Cream Queen, though; at least he didn't think there was, he'd personally never heard of one.

Tucking Alice close to his side he whispered a warning into her ear, filling her into his thoughts; he felt her nod in response and tuck herself closer to his side, allowing his arm to wrap about her shoulders protectively. When they were inside the palace he quickly lead her to his hattery, closing the door firmly behind them and locking it for good measure; that was when he probably received the final and most shocking blow. His hattery was no longer how he had left it, nor did it even resemble a hattery any longer, for that matter.

Ribbons were replaced with chains, metal sheets were where he had left his cloth and leather; whips were where he'd kept his linings, and strangely enough; instead of his sewing table he found... Tools of the sort he would never work with.

"Is that blood?" Gasped Alice, pointing to a pool of red that was only just a few centimeters from her feet near a large table that had been a small couch when he'd last been to the palace. Narrowing his eyes dangerously he gestured for the girl to come close to him once again, taking her by her wrist to press her behind him; someone had changed his hattery into a demented storage room. Nobody entered the hattery without him in the room first, it was a useless thing to do; his usual chaos was near impossible to sort though and the only ones allowed to touch the unfinished hats were Queen Mirana and himself.

Scowling as he gave the room another sweep of his gaze he turned back around and slid the door open and jerked Alice back out, "Stick ta me side, lassy." he grated out, hardly noticing her nod her head in agreement, "Seems we migh' be inna wee bit o' a spot."

She would have responded, however he began pulling her along the halls, forcing her to a near jog to keep up as he made sharp turns around corners, going by memory towards the grand hall where he would either find the White Queen, or the invader that had taken over Mamoreal. Whoever had done it was obviously an outsider, not even Iracebeth, who made it publicly aware that she intended to gain the crown from her sister, would dare to break the unspoken rule the royal sisters had agreed upon. However how could an outsider manage to get into Underland without alert Thackery, Mally, and himself, who remained just outside of the woods where they would have to pass?

They reached the throne room in record time, the white pawn guards that usually stood replaced by two men wearing cream robes carrying large sinister black sticks that made Alice gasp loudly and pull back. Turning to her he arched a thick eyebrow, "Wha's amatta wit ya, gel?" he asked, at which she only shook her head, trembling where she stood, "Dinna worry, Ah'm righ' 'ere, nuttin' will happen ta ye." he comforted as best he could in his current state of mind. Giving a firm tug to her wrist and making her stumble to his side he snarled at the guards, who opened the doors for him, leering at Alice as they passed by.

What he seen startled him so much that he stopped in his tracks, his mouth gaping open in disgusted horror. His queen sat at another woman's feet, the older woman sneering down at him as though he were the unwelcome guest. Her graying hair was perfectly coiffed on her head, her cream gown puffed around her waist and out, the tight bodice covering from the top of her neck to the very ends of her wrist; she appeared to have been expecting them, however, for there were two seats off to her right. She gestured to the seats, giving the lowly hatter hardly any thought, but to Alice, she offered a grand smile.

"Alice, dear, how lovely for you to join us! I did try and have my men find you after I heard a clumsy off had shot you, poor dear, I really hadn't intended for them to do that; there were only supposed to frighten you a bit." she tutted, shaking her head and gesturing towards the chairs at her side, "Please! Come sit! I honestly hadn't expected to take such a liking to you when I first seen you, however you have grown on me." offering the younger girl a grandmotherly smile she gave another detesting gaze towards Tarrant, "Your friend, too; I would generally have the creatures of Underland in the dungons, however I heard that he assisted you a great deal, so I'll allow him to stay."


Emily was sitting on the queens throne, speaking to her as though she had not only just come from what had to have been one of the most dangerous situations of life, but also as if she were the one who had orchestrated it. Shaking her head she looked in confusion to the seat Emily kept gesturing towards, when Tarrant began tugging her towards the seat she held back, looking between Emily and Tarrant as though they'd both lost their minds. "You've got to be kidding me." she whispered, turning her eyes towards the smiling older woman.

"You had me run away from them!" she denied, "Told me to hide in the woods until it was safe."

"Of course I did, how else would you find the rabbit hole?" She asked, arching a fine eyebrow in amusement, "Though I did take a large gamble letting you run off on your own, for a moment I feared you might have actually followed the group, however true to what I seen in you, you made your own path." She nodded in approval, flicking a fan open as she laughed, "You almost over-stepped the hole, though, it's the reason why Jerald shot you;" she paused and sent a battered man near the doors behind them a glare, "He's been properly punished, of course, no reason to shoot such a beautiful young girl like you, was it, Jerald?" she snapped.

"No, your highness, of course not, beggin' your apologies, Lady Alice." He responded quickly with a deep bow.

"Wha' da ye wan' wit Underlan'?" Tarrant suddenly snapped, pushing Alice gently behind his body and giving her a warning glare over his shoulder to keep her there in case she decided to run. Alice swallowed and looked towards a woman with long blonde hair with unnatural beauty, instantly knowing her to be the White Queen her companion had spoken of, for she did, in fact, wear white. Layers of cloud-like fabric with hair that fairly floated about her in long, straight, white strands that looked both sinister and beautiful; though her eyes clearly spoke of only kindness.

Emily's voice startled her as she yelled, "I belong here!" she snapped, banging a seasoned fist against the arm of the throne, "Born here, only to be sent away by my god awful parents." she snarled and stood up, glaring down at the White Queen as though it had been her decision, "Of course, my mother wasn't the queen, no, merely the daughter of one of her," she kicked a foot out at the queen, who gasped and fell over in a flourish. Alice couldn't help but think it might have been a bit over-dramatic as Emily had to be near eighty-years-old at the least. "mother's ladies-in-waiting." she shook her head, "The bastard daughter of the king born onto a lady-in-waiting; can you imagine the scandal?"

"Lies!" Tarrant snapped, slashing his hand through the air, "Slander and deceit-"

"I don't lie." she snapped, glaring at him, "I may cheat, steal, and embellish just the slightest, but I never lie! Alice!" she snapped, turning to the younger woman who flinched, eyes wide and frightened, "When I met you, did I not insist we would enjoy the magical land together?" she demanded, then smiled gently at Alice's tentative nod, "I might have kept information to myself while giving a bit to misleading someone here and there, but I would never lie directly; no child born from the king can lie directly, you know."

She tugged on Tarrant's sleeve, "I want to go, Tarrant, I want to leave." she urged, looking down at the queen, and licking her lips, "Let's leave now, just take the queen and go!"

"You're not going anywhere, Alice, you'll stay here with me." She sighed and looked around the palace, "I had hoped to bring my husband, however people from Upside just don't have the same life expectancy as we Underlarians have; I think it's something to do with all their polution." She cringed her nose, "However I think you'll be fine, dear, haven't been up there long, only nineteen years, if I remember correctly." Smiling kindly she gave a quick glance at Tarrant and sighed, "I'll even allow you to keep him, dear, please?"

"Ye'll no' be givin' meh to enny'un, ya thevin' cow!" He snapped, "An' Ah'll be takin' th' Queen back, as well." His arm rose and gestured to the queen to come to him, which Alice had to suppress a laugh when she did. She couldn't knock over a woman three times her own age, but she could hop up and dodge the men that surrounded her to go to Tarrant.

Shaking her head she nearly smacked herself, what a terrible thought, she would have done the same thing! Well... Perhaps she would have fought back against the old woman when there hadn't been guards about... "You can't do that! How dare you, do you see what he's doing, Alice?" She shrieked loudly, hitting the chair of her thrown again and leaping up in a way no eighty-year-old woman should have been able to. "Trying to have two women, you rake!" She seethed, "Guards, get Alice away from that philanderer before he spreads a disease to her!"

"What?" Was Alice's intelligent reply two seconds before a tug-of-war began as Tarrant and the White Queen snatched both her wrists while two guards had her about her waist. It felt surreal, being fought over in a way that made absolutely no sense; why shouldn't Tarrant want his queen? Though the idea did bother her, she couldn't say that she blamed him, she was a rather beautiful woman and she did have a sort of airy grace about her that Alice didn't have; it wasn't like she was dating him, anyhow, or even wanted to, for that matter.

However, she also didn't wish to be around their reunion, either.

Looking between Tarrant and Emily a couple of times she found herself breaking away from the tug-a-war, racing blindly towards the window before her brain had a chance to catch up with her body's actions. When their screams finally sunk into her brain she realized she was falling and her screams had joined their own; terror at what she'd managed to do sinking in as she began to grasp the thin air around her in a futile attempt to stop her fall to the ground, which was a lot longer then she'd thought; didn't castles usually have the throne room first level? Underland made no sense whatsoever!

When she suddenly fell upon a leathery back she stopped screaming, expecting herself to be dead; however a loud roar sounded next, forcing her to cover her ears to prevent her eardrums from bursting. When she felt other people join her on whatever she was on she turned and seen a furious looking Tarrant, eyes blazing orange at her as though damning her an eternity of hell, and a rather to serene-to-be-true White Queen, who's smile looked out of place as screams began over-lapping each other and she realized people were running away from her.

"What's going on?" She yelled over everything.

Tarrant pulled her against his chest and leaned down, forcing a hand from her ear to shout something she couldn't understand, however the tone made it more then clear that she was not in a position to ask questions. The Queen looked over his shoulder at her brightly, "He says that you mustn't leave his side again." She pressed a finger to her cheek and seemed to think for a moment, her dark eyes rolling up so far that she had to lift her chin, "I think."

Alice gaped at her, "If you don't know, then why answer?" she asked, frustrated to have the two join her for a reason she didn't care to think on; "What's happening? Let me off, I'd rather walk!" she managed to unwrap one of the hatters arms from her as she twisted and jerked about, but it didn't last for long until the arm was back around her waist and wrapping over her chest to take a firm hold of her shoulder.

"Are ye daft?" his voice snapped, holding her firmly against his chest, "We're tae high in th' air for this, lass!" when she froze he forced her to look around them to the clouds passing them by, confused by the passing clouds and sickened by the thought of once again flying, especially with no walls or even a seat to keep her from plunging to her untimely death.


When the dragon landed Tarrant had slipped down from it's side, dragging the blonde woman with him, then released her and helped his queen off as well, setting her gently to the ground. Once she was standing on her own she began to titter about, giving wide smiles at the slowly forming circle of red cards that surrounded them, swords and pole-axes drawn, but not poised; as though unsure of their own reactions should be. Just a few hours ago each side had been against the other, now, however, it seemed that the Red Queen had discovered that something had interrupted the long standing events in Underland and prevented the game from continuing.

"Iracebeth is here, is she not?" Mirana's voice asked brightly, moving to walk out from the circle of cards and into the large palace ahead of her, her elbows bent and her hands dreamily waving as she walked. Tarrant wasn't sure to be surprised or not, when the cards all stepped back to allow her though without even a word of explanation; probably by Iracebeth's orders, the hatter assumed. It was amazing that the two sisters knew some much about the going-on's of Underland, especially when it concerned the other sibling, from half the country away.

Dragging a reluctant and pale Alice behind him he cautiously made his way through after his queen, keeping a tight hold on the girl's wrist in case she suddenly decided to take another mad gamble on her life by flinging herself upon one of the card's swords. Though she seemed to have since gathered her wits, he found himself to be without a charitable mind, feeling not a speck of guilt over his rough treatment; if she wanted to end her life she would bloody well have to go through him, first. Especially if she thought to do it in front of him.

In a few short moments they were in the red queens throne room and she was speaking to them with that ridiculous spoiled child accent, her wide eyes impatiently waiting for her sister's explanation as her fingers drummed against the arm rest; "You're telling me you were taken captive by Emily." she stated, arching a thin eyebrow incredulously, "My men told me that she's nothing but an old woman, how in the world did she..." trailing off she gave a snort like laugh, "Never mind, I think I know." standing up she walked down the three steps so that she could stand before them.

After a moment she gave a smile, "I will stop my attacks against you and your followers for a bit, until you get all of this sorted out and taken care of." Tarrant felt her gaze swing between him and Alice, "While I'm forced to provide my sister sanctuary, you two are another story; you may rest here for this night, but tomorrow you will have to make other arrangements." With that two maids scurried forward, urging him and Alice to follow them.

When he snapped at them to leave him be Mirana waved him away, "I will be alright with my sister, Tarrant, as per our parents final wishes we can not hurt the each other." she soothed, "I will stay here until I'm ready to retire for the night, please take Alice to her room, she looks as though she's ready to rest for a bit."

Nodding his understanding he allowed the maids to lead him out and to the rooms that had, apparently, been prepared for their use. One beside the other the two small rooms were adjoining; and while sparsely decorated, still held the decorative talents that all of Underland royalty enjoyed. The maids left them, then, and he was finally left alone with the increasingly frustrated girl just inches away from his side.

"Would you let go of me for five minutes, please?" she asked, pulling her wrist free and rubbing the area as though he'd held his grip to tight, "You act like I'd intended to dive out of the window; which I wasn't." when she stared into his eyes he felt his nerves sooth, "I was being jerked around by adults that acted more like children fighting over a favorite toy, by the time I realized that I'd jumped from the window I was already falling."

He stared at her silently for a moment, before his eyes narrowed a bit and he jabbed his finger into her face, stopping just a breath away from the middle of her eyes, "Next time be lookin' where ye be leapin' or ye jus' migh' find yeself in a 'ole tae big tae crawl out of." he growled before turning on the balls of his feet to answer the knock at his door.

A little maid stood with a large tea-tray balanced carefully and he happily took it from her, thanking her before he closed the door and made his way to the small table at the corner of his room, "Now let's sit down and enjoy some tea and snacks, then we can sleep for the night."


Nearly a week later found them still residing at the red queens palace; who had obviously not cared to remember her first order of 'one night then begone'. Alice found herself not at all comfortable with her rooms, as the hatter often just burst into her room without the slightest thought of knocking; somehow managing to balance the cups and saucers in his hands while the rest of the tea service sat on his hat. It was an unusual way to enter the room, yet she knew she was growing use to it, as she no longer jumped or screamed before running to take the tray from his head before it all went crashing to the ground.

Today was no different, and when he suddenly burst into the room she had already prepared the small table, moved so that it was closer to the door and near the fireplace, so that she could set the service onto the top without to much trouble. He'd quickly distributed the saucers and cups before sitting down and pouring the tea and offering her a cup; by the time she sat she realized that each of the actions had been done without thought.

After tea they went to the throne room, which had somehow been transformed into a meeting room; a large table having been moved into the large empty area off to the side, several matching high backed wooden chairs lining the edges with two regal looking chairs for both queens to sit in. Once again, each chair was filled with red card clad warriors and white chess armored knights with Mirana at one end of the table and Iracebeth at the other.

They were already deep into discussing plans to re-crown Mirana to her castle when Alice and Tarrant had taken their seats, the table littered with scraps of paper and goblets of unfinished drinks. "If you don't fight back then nothing will happen!" Iracebeth was saying, her voice sharp and demanding, "None of this would be happening if you would have only stood firm and not willing removed your crown!"

"It is against my vow to harm a living creature, Iracebeth, and furthermore, I cannot take action against a sister." Mirana defended herself airly, her hands clasped before her; "To do so would be just the same as advacating my position as part of the royal family, you know this just as well as I do."

"I also know that neither father nor mother ever intended for Emily to come back and create this mess; they would have understood the need to defend the country." narrowing her eyes Iracebeth took hold of the goblet in front of her and sipped, placing it back onto the table before continuing, "If you agree, we could have our champions merge together to fight her off, if either of us took action against her personally, then Underland will not be able to stand the repercussions."

Alice frowned, not really understanding what they were talking about, "Champions?" she asked, somewhat worried for Emily, despite her actions against both Alice and Underland, "They won't hurt her, will they? She is frightfully old, after all."

Both Mirana and Iracebeth laughed, "She only appears to be old because of where she lived before coming back." Mirana explained, "In truth, she might already have regained her youthfulness." gesturing towards her own face she smiled, "The people in Underland age differently then what I suppose you're use to, what seems old to you is actually quite young for us."

"I, myself, am actually nearing ninety." Iracebeth continued, waving the subject away, "None of this is important, however, have your champion ready by tomorrow, if we don't meet with her as soon as possible we only allow her to grow in strength."

When Mirana bit her lip demurely and gazed at Alice, the younger girl felt herself beginning to wonder if she wasn't perhaps thinking what Alice feared her to be thinking. If she was, then it was near an impossible thought as impossible thoughts could go; she could hardly be expected to fight against her friend. Even if she hadn't known the woman for very long, she'd proved herself to be kind (even though she'd also shown herself to be conniving) and more then generous.

The day before Alice had heard hints from others about her 'destiny' and understood, if somewhat vaguely, that Mirana expected something more out of her then friendship. However now, as she watched the white queen take a scroll and set it gingerly onto the table, she felt she already knew what Mirana would say.

The Oraculum, something that a small caterpillar had arrived with, was their version of a calender (or, at least, that was Alice's interpretation) that told the events of the future instead of the past. An odd little scroll, which apparently did none of them any good besides telling the reader what they should do. Alice personally thought that if it showed the future then they should have tried to prevent Emily from taking the white queens crown.

Looking around the table she waited for Iracebeth to stand and walk over to her side to peer over her shoulder before opening the large and seemingly weathered scroll. As she opened Alice watched entranced, never having seen it before, as gold lines began drawing themselves onto the page, creating a beautiful, intricate picture of a young armored woman holding a sword and riding the back of a rather vicious looking dragon battling what Alice could only call a metal giant of some kind.

The pictured continued to show the dragon breath what Alice assumed to be fire while woman brandishing her sword skillfully against the monster. However then it stopped and the gold lines glimmered for a second more, before settling and fading to black. Alice was rather disappointed when she discovered it wouldn't be moving again and leaned back into her chair, belatedly noticing several eyes upon her.

"You can't be serious." She stated, her eyes widening as she shook her head, willing them to not say what she knew they were going to say. Even with the hints that she'd heard, she didn't know if she could stand them outright saying it, was almost positive that she couldn't. Yet they continued to look at her silently, as though unwilling to say it themselves. "Even if I wasn't petrified of flying, I have no idea how to use a sword; I've never even held a sword before!"

Frowning Mirana looked down, and Alice almost breathed in a sigh of relief, until Iracebeth slammed her hand against the table, "Obviously it's you, and you obviously learn how!" she snapped, "My Jabber-baby-wocky will help you, so it's not as if you'd be fighting on your own. I'll have my knights begin training you at once."

"I can't learn how to use a sword in less then twenty-four hours! Your mad even to think so!" Alice argued back, shaking her head venomously; "Why don't you hope onto your 'Jabber-baby-wocky' and swing a sword around?"

"I am queen, part of the royal family, I can't be seen doing anything of the sort!" Iracebeth gasped, her eyes widening, "The Oraculum says that you can do it, so you can do it; it never tells a lie and only predicts the absolute future."

"It shows me swinging a sword, it doesn't show me winning!" Alice thundered, slamming her hands against the table as ferocity as the red queen had in effort to make her understand, "I'll die, even if that giant-"

"Golem" Mirana interrupted serenely, as though a golem was entirly better then a giant, "Giant's can't be made to listen to anything other then physical power."

"Brillant, I'm not fighting a 'Golem', either!" Pushing herself away from the table she made to leave, only to be blocked by some cards, "Move!"

"You must learn, we don't have time for your tantrums." Iracebeth insisted, "If you quickly accept we can go from there and give you the information you'll need to slay Emily's monster." Alice thought about continuing her argument, then looked back down at the scroll and frowned a bit.

"I hate flying." She stated, "More then hate it, I dislike the height; there's no way I could do anything like that without fainting."

"You'll adjust."


Tarrant wasn't pleased, at all; he was no idiot, he knew why he was so upset, who wouldn't be upset knowing their friend was undergoing something so dangerous. He'd been perfectly fine during his and Alice's morning tea and though most of the meeting as well; but as soon as the Oraculum had come out he'd felt himself tense up.

When Alice had said no, he'd relaxed a bit, ready to come up with a different plan; while it was unheard of for the Oraculum to be wrong, it wasn't impossible for the future it showed to be different... Was it? Truthfully he hadn't cared, much preferred himself to be sitting on the hideous beast of a dragon then the blonde sitting opposite of him.

Then, she'd faltered, and things began going about so quickly that he'd had no time to even voice his own objections before he was standing before her, a sword in either of their hands, as he began instructing her on how to use it. He was morbidly confused, surely he wasn't actually teaching her how to wield something so dangerous, he couldn't have agreed to even let her touch the sharpened metal! Yet there she was, wearing a pair of trousers and a top, both several sizes to large for her; trying to keep the heavy sword hoisted in place.

It was strange for a woman to look so good while wearing clothes more fit for a male farmer; if he thought about it, he'd never actually seen another woman dressed as she was. Shaking the thought off he called off their practice for a bit and went to retrieve a lighter sword for her to use until the vorpal sword and Alice's armor were delivered. Thankfully, when she'd first been made aware of her half-sister's future actions, she'd made sure to hide them in the house of a loyal civilian just outside of the palace.

It was several hours later when a pair of cards summoned them to return to the throne room, and when they arrived he could easily spot the armor laying on the table. Alice made a noise at the sight and seemed to freeze for a moment before continuing her way to the table, tentatively touching the armor as though afraid it would cut her.

The sword gleamed from the candle light that lit the room, and Tarrant picked the blade up to inspect it, knowing that he would find it to be perfect. Reluctant to hand it over to the girl beside him he did so anyway, watching with interest as she held the hilt, her brown eyes staring at the blade with curiosity. "It's warm."

"It will help you." Mirana comforted, "It will know where it needs to strike, the vorpal sword is a blade made from some of the most precious material in Underland by the skilled hands of the Dormice, one of the last blades they'd ever created."

"Mallymkun herself made the design." Tarrant added in, causing Alice's eyes to widen in surprise before a slow smile graced her face.


She wasn't sure why the knowledge that a mouse had designed the sword she was to use was a comfort to her; maybe it was because, even as small as she was, she'd appeared so strong. Perhaps it was because Tarrant seemed it was a fact worth mentioning, or maybe it was just that it was a name she recognized held ties to the weapon in her hands; it didn't really matter.

It was light in her hands, and almost seemed to pulse with a life of it's own, and when she held the weapon at her side she was filled with a calmness and sureness. It was almost as though she knew she could battle one-hundred golems with it without hesitation or worry for her own life. Surly, with the blade that she held, she could vanquish any number of enemy's without trouble.

"It is very important that you only use this sword against the golem." Mirana stated suddenly, drawing Alice's concentration, "It was made with the intention of protecting Underland, and one must not use it with personal intentions in mind. It is a pure blade that has never tasted blood in anger, be weary when you wield it in battle and make sure you only strike the golem, nothing more, even if it costs you your life."

Alice found herself nodding before she'd actually understood, and by the time she was walking back out of the room, the sword and armor remaining on the table, it was to late to question the queen further. Biting her lip in worry she couldn't help but wonder at what she was supposed to do, should she be attacked by Emily's men. She could hardly just stand there, and she doubted that even Emily would would hesitate in killing her if it meant that she could continue to rule safely.

A strong sure hand suddenly reached around her shoulders and rubbed her arm, and she didn't have to look up to see the hatter standing there as he comforted her, "Don't worry, Alice, I'll make sure you won't even need a reason to defend yourself against anything but the golem." he promised, and Alice felt better.

Not bothering to take the time to wonder why, she instead walked with him to enjoy an afternoon of tea and cakes before he had her practicing again. After leisurely snacking and sipping while talking about absolute nonsense (though now the question just kept repeating itself within her head... Why was a raven like a writing desk?) Tarrant had led her outside where her eyes lit upon recognizing that there were new arrivals walking up; one an entirely to-twitchy Thackery that insisted Tarrant had missed tea (even though Tarrant had argued the opposite to be true) as Mallymkun came riding Chessur came up, shouting about what, Alice didn't know.

It was loud and a bit chaotic, but it was more calming then she would have thought; even when Mallymkun insisted that she was to stupid to even know how to properly hold a sword and should be on her knees thanking the mouse for her brilliance in craftsmanship (it was a little true, after all). While that wouldn't be happening she did offer the dormouse her thanks and made sure to lavish on comments on how even someone as unskilled as herself knew it to be a fine blade.

As more people began filling the palace grounds Tarrant quickly led her away and towards an open clearing where she spotted Iracebeth sitting with a pit underfoot. Tarrant walked over quickly, and Alice had to restrain him before he said something offending, when they were in front of the queen she pulled off a pair of red heart-shaped sunglasses (which Alice wouldn't have minded wearing herself, it was a tad bright), "Flying lessons." she stated.

Alice almost groaned.


Authors Note: So, the ending is coming up; for those of you that thought the battle would occur in this chapter, I hate disappointing you. I hope you've enjoyed reading up till now, and I promise a more action-packed ending; I'm planning on writing as many views on the battle as possible, as, obviously, Alice's will be in the sky. Then there's Mallymkun's (How could I not show her POV?) which is a must have, I'm sure many will agree. Tarrants, Styne's (who's missing from this chapter but will appear in the next with plenty of parts of his own; so nobody get their panties in a twist), and more! Hazaa, don't you just love battles, so much action going on in so many places!

While this story has no reviews I can tell that there are some people interested in it (after all, it can't have over 200 hits and be on the story alerts of 9 people no no reason). No, I'm not worried about it, just think it's mega funny is all. Hahaha! Lovin' it.

I hope you enjoyed reading up till now, and I also hope that you'll enjoy the final chapter much more! This ficiton is offically 2/3 completed.