Chapter 1 - The Force that Breaks

12 years earlier

BPOV

BUZZZZZZZ!!!! BUZZZZZZ!!!!!

I slammed my hand down on the bedside table, effectively killing the noise emanating from the alarm clock. I also managed to send a few books crashing to the floor the process.

I peered over the edge of the bed at the books there and flopped back on to my pillows with a sigh. It was Friday, and while I didn't have school, my best friend Edward was graduating today. The ceremony was at 3, so why did I set my alarm for 9 again?

I tossed the blankets up over my head and was just drifting back to sleep, when 180lbs over teenage male came barreling through my door and landed right on top of me.

"Wake up, Bella!" Edward yelled, just about breaking the sound barrier with his volume.

"Get the hell off my you big oaf." I pushed at him, but it was pretty much useless unless he wanted to move.

"Ooo…Bella's bringing out the bad words. I'd better watch it," he said as he stood back up and flipped the blankets down.

"Damn," he said while looking at me. "When am I gonna catch you sleeping naked, or at least in your underwear."

I glanced down at my blue and green fish pajamas. Yeah, they were dorky, but very comfortable. "If you're lucky, never. You'd probably go blind."

Edward just closed his eyes and shook his head with a frown. He'd given up arguing with me on this point a long time ago. "I'm going to shower," I said. I picked up my bag of toiletries and my clothes and walked into the bathroom down the hall.

As the water heated, I stripped down and looked at myself in the full length mirror. As usual, I hated what I saw.

I was excessive pale and very skinny. In fact, I was fairly certain my body was the same at 16 as it had been at 12, no chest, very narrow hips, and chicken legs. I didn't like change so my hair had pretty been the same cut since then to. It was cut into a chin length bob that really didn't suit my face shape, but I knew how to handle it. I'd been thinking of growing out for a while now, I just never did it.

I looked up at my face. At my boring brown eyes that were usually behind my glasses, and my lips that seemed too big for my face. At least my skin was perfectly clear, then again I seemed to have missed a few other parts of puberty, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by that.

I got into the shower and my thoughts drifted to Edward. Me and him had been friends since I first moved to Forks after my mother died. That had been almost 6 years ago. I had been in 6th grade and Edward had been in 7th. We became friends when I had tripped in the hall and broke my arm when I fell on it.

I had started crying and most of the other students just stood there and stared at me. Either they hadn't cared or just didn't know what to do.

I remember sitting there in pain hoping that a teacher would come along and help me, when this bronze-haired boy came up to me. He was a beautiful kid and the beautiful ones were always mean to me, so at first I tried to shy away expected him to do or say something cruel and hurtful. So it had shocked me, when instead of picking on me, he gently picked me up and carried me to the nurse's office. He waited with me while I waited for my dad to pick me up and take me to the hospital. We were friends from there on out. To this day the scar on my arm from that day, was one I looked on fondly. I had broken my arm badly enough to need surgery and the white line ran down my forearm. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I then remembered the first time he asked me out. It was for homecoming his sophomore year, I had been a freshman. I said no. Ever since then it became almost like a ritual for him to try again every few months. I always say no.

It seems stupid, I know. I mean he's Edward Cullen, he gorgeous, he's smart, he's sweet, and everything else; but that's exactly why I keep says no. Edward Cullen is everything that Bella Swan isn't.

So I'll keep saying no, just as I'll keep loving him without ever telling him.

EPOV

I paced around Bella's room as I waited for her to finish up in the shower. I needed to talk to her and there wasn't much time. I heard the door open and I threw on a quick happy face.

"So, why are you here so early," she asked. "Graduation isn't until 3."

"I wanted to go to the meadow today. It's an important day and I think we should go there."

Bella pursed her lips and nodded. "Let me put on my shoes and we can go."

She threw on a pair of sneakers and followed me out to my car. I opened the door for her and helped her in so she wouldn't fall on her butt, or hit her head, or something else along those lines.

Once she was safely in, I walked around and got into the driver's seat. I put my seatbelt on and started the engine in the same movement. Then I put the car in gear and sped off down the road.

The ride was silent and I occasionally stole glances at Bella. I loved her, always had, always will. With her I didn't need to put up a front, I could always be myself and never be judged for it. If I needed her she was always there. And whenever I touched her it felt like electricity.

I wasn't bringing her to the meadow for sentimental purposes. I needed to talk to her. She kept pushing me away and there was only so much punishment that I could take. Either she loved me, or she didn't. If she truly didn't love me, then tonight, I was walking away.

I pulled up to the side of the dirt road and got out. My parents owned this property and I had built a small shed about ¼ mile off the road to store my four wheeler. Without it, I would have to walk about five miles to reach the meadow.

Bella came up to my side and I grabbed her hand so she wouldn't trip and fall. It only took up about ten minutes to reach the shed. Bella let go of my hand and stood off to the side while I unlocked the door. I led the ATV out and went back in to grab the helmets and handed one to Bella.

I jumped on the kick start and the motor roared to life. As I strapped on my helmet, I felt Bella climb onto the back and wrap her arms around me. I took a moment to savor the feel of her arms around me before I closed my fingers around the throttle and took of through the woods.

When I came to the edge of the meadow a short while later, she hopped off while I killed the engine. She set her helmet on the seat and walked towards the meadow. I took off my own and just watched her for a moment. To society she may not be beautiful, but I didn't need that. There in the sunlight, her soul shined through and that was beautiful enough for me.

I finally got off the ATV when Bella cast me a funny look. I walked past her to the dead center of the meadow and looked back at her. "Bella, I need to talk to you."

She scrunched her eyebrows together and looked at me. "What's wrong, Edward?"

I pursed my lips and started the conversation the same way I always had. However, regardless of what she said, this one wasn't going to end the same. "Will you be my girlfriend, Bella?"

She sighed and her eyes drifted shut. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because, I just can't. Edward, how many times are we going to go through this? I can't be your girlfriend."

Less than she thought, that was for sure. "Do you love me, Bella?"

"Of course I do, you know that."

I walked forward and took her face in my hands, forcing her to look me in the eye. "No, do you love me?"

She started to close her eyes again, but I stopped her. "Look at me when you answer this time."

She looked at me and I saw tears shimmer in the depths of her eyes. Finally, I very shaky word came out of her mouth.

"No."

I leaned my forehead against hers and felt my own tears leak out. "This is the last time I will have asked you, Bella. I'm leaving."

She stepped back and frowned at me. "What do you mean you're leaving?"

I looked off to the side and bit down on my lip. This was going to piss her off. "I joining the army. I leave for Seattle in two hours and then I ship out for basic training tomorrow."

Tears started to stream down her face. "You're just going to leave me here?"

"What the fuck do you want me to do," I yelled. "Over and over again, I put my heart on the line and you just keep on crushing it! I can't keep doing this, Bella! I hurts too damn much!"

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but I cut her off. "Save it, whatever it is I don't want to hear it."

She put her hand over her mouth and I noticed the sobs started to shake her little body. My anger vanished and I pulled her into my arms. "I love you, Bella. I truly deeply do. No one will ever compare to you."

"I…I…lo…"

"Don't Bella. Even if you do say it now, I can't trust that it's not just someway to keep me here. I can't just have your friendship anymore. It's become all or nothing. I'm sorry."

I released her and started to walk away. "Take the four-wheeler back, I'll walk," I said without turning around.

As I entered the woods, I thought I heard her calling my name, but I just kept walking.

*The next day*

'Flight 734 to Charleston, now boarding at gate A-14'

I heard my flight being called and got in line to get on the plane, with the rest of the recruits. There were about 14 of us leaving out of Seattle. As I stood there, I took out the picture of me and Bella that was in my front pocket.

We had taken at the EMP last month. The oddly shaped building was in the background and Bella's smile was breathtaking. I already missed her.

"She's a cutie, your girlfriend?"

I spun to look at the massive guy leaning over my shoulder. He was huge, about 6'4" and easily 240lbs of solid muscle. He would have been intimidating if it weren't for the deep dimples and shit eating grin on his face.

"No," I answered. "I ain't that lucky."

"Well, buck up pal. We ain't got no girls either. Which is why we're getting on this plane to Fort Jack-off, instead of being at home in bed with some soft body to cuddle with."

I raised my brow in question. "We?"

"Emmett McCarty at your service. This dip shit over hear is my buddy Jasper Whitlock."

I looked over at the Jasper as I shook him hand. He was almost as tall as Emmett but far thinner. His height made him look lanky, but his handshake spoke of obvious strength.

"I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you both. Glad to know someone going into this with me."

"Well, Eddie-boy," Emmett said. "You're stuck with us now."

I laughed lightly with them as I followed them up to the attendant taking our ticket. Just as I was about to enter the crossway, I looked back at the nearly empty gate.

"Goodbye, Bella." I whispered and turned to walk on to the plane.