The third time I defied the Dark Lord I was seventeen. I had completed my seventh year and was married to Lucius two weeks after I graduated. I invite my Aunt Walburga and Bellatrix and everyone else in pureblood society, but I also invited Emmeline, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Andromeda, Tonks, the Weasleys, the Longbottoms, and the Prewitt twins. I also invited Severus because he had taught me Occlumency and in doing so saved me from the Dark Lord and Regulus because Emmeline had a bit of a crush on him. It seemed that everyone was avoiding somebody else at my wedding.

After the incident concerning The Dark Lord's desires for me, I lost that innocence that I had kept with me after I fought him the first time. I had finally opened my eyes all the way to see what was happening to the world, and I didn't like what I saw. My life was no longer the charmed perfect life it had been when I was sixteen.

It began with paranoia. I read every single library book in Hogwarts (both in and out of the restricted section) on Occlumency and Legilimency. Then I practiced, and practiced, and practiced. Soon I was able to sneak past Snape's boundaries without him noticing. That was when the real paranoia kicked in. I was afraid of my friends, and if they would turn me in to The Dark Lord. I though everyone was a traitor. I began listening into conversations, through the walls and through people's minds. When I first heard of the Order of the Phoenix I knew immediately I had to join. It was exactly what I needed, a secret society that was against The Dark Lord.

"Ah, Miss Black, please take a seat. I'm sorry if you have come to interview for the Defense job, I have just given the position to Mr. Gremio. If you care to apply for next year I will-"I had finished searching the office for any other minds present. I was surprised; I knew I was on a former Death Eater watch, that he met me alone.

"Sir, I am not here to apply for a job. Well I guess I sort of am, but not for the job of a teacher." His eyes began to do that annoying twinkle thing and I felt something brush past my wall. He was trying to get into my head. I fortified my walls before continuing. I leaned over the desk so I did not have to speak so loudly.

"Professor, I wish to join the Order of the Phoenix." I knew I was taking a risk by saying it out right like that (He could obliviate me and drop me off at my home without me remembering anything) but I thought if I said it more like a Gryffindor and less like a Slytherin maybe he would be more likely to consider it. I also knew he might suspect me even more because of this. They suspected a spy in their midst and I was the only Slytherin present, I was the perfect person to be the spy. But surprisingly, Dumbledore just nodded and smiled.

"Will you be willing to drink veriteserum before letting me use Legilimency on you so I know your memories are not tampered?" I nodded; I had expected something like this. Silently he took out the vial of clear potion and tipped three drops into a small spoon before I opened my mouth and let the truth serum spill into my mouth and down my throat.

"What is your name?" I didn't even feel my lips move as I answered him.

"Narcissa Violletta Irma Black." Dumbledore nodded and I could feel him enter my mind easily, the veriteserum took down my defenses immediately. I could feel it as he watched my fifteen year old self battle The Dark Lord and against all odds win, I felt him watch my memories of Walburga preaching blood purity, or Walburga torturing Sirius, of the Dark Lord torturing Lucius, the memory where The Dark Lord revealed his desires for a mere sixteen year old, my sixteenth Christmas, me discovering the existence of the order, me perfecting my Occlumency and Legilimency, me entering the office. At that he pulled out, he had run through the past three years of my life (with snippets from even before then) in no more than ten minutes.

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Narcissa Violletta Irma Black."

Lucius had to go threw the same order of interrogation when he joined. We were also forced to go to these types of meetings once every two weeks to make sure we weren't really spies. You would think they didn't trust *sarcasm*. Lucius was immediately taught Occlumency. He had private lessons with Dumbledore and me three times a week, he was almost better than us now. We wanted Lucius to be able to shield his mind without The Dark Lord realizing he was shielding it. You see, Lucius became spies for the Order. We only went on missions in disguise and our wands transfigured slightly to take on a different appearance. We were full fledged Order members now, not just kids waving their wands.

I had watched Lucius receive the Dark Mark after both he and I had been tortured extensively. The Dark Lord does not forgive easily, it was a miracle we were forgiven at all, but both the Blacks and the Malfoys were old pureblood families, and The Dark Lord needed more followers of that status. So Lucius was accepted into the higher circle and I was accepted as a way to have another generation of little Malfoy Death Eaters, lovely. But then again, The Dark Lord always did under estimate the witch population. Maybe that is why I was able to beat him in a duel for the third time around when he attacked Little Whining.

I could here Alice Longbottom screaming curses somewhere to the right as I searched for Lily. I would not let her die tonight. I knew why The Dark Lord was targeting this particular community, Lily's older sister was here and Lily Potter had taken down almost as many as Death Eaters as James and Sirius combined, they wanted her one. The first step? Kill of the family. We had warned Dumbledore about the planned attack and The Order had been prepared.

When the Death Eaters crashed into number four, Privet Drive they found Vernon Dursley watching T.V while complaining to Petunia Dursley, who appeared to be knitting. Of course the real Vernon and Petunia Dursley were actually on a cruise (they thought they'd won a sweepstakes) and these two ordinary muggles were actually not muggles at all. In fact the woman claiming to be named Petunia Dursley was actually me while the mad who claimed to be Vernon Dursley was actually Carodoc Dearborn. It was quite humorous to watch the Death Eaters face go slack with shock when one of 'Petunia's knitting needles' turned out to be a wand that could shoot curses at you.

Tonight though, Lucius was not fighting for the Order under the polyjuice potion, tonight he was fighting at The Dark Lord's side. I hope someone had petrified him so I wouldn't have to do it myself. A green light shot by me and I knew it was supposed to miss, Lucius had impeccable aim. I quickly non- verbally stunned him, hoping I didn't hurt him to much and continued my search for Lily.

I came upon her dueling with none other than The Dark Lord himself. Why did he always seem to duel only Lily, Alice, me, and our spouses. Was anyone else worthy of his attention? She was one of the best duelers I knew but her aim was getting sloppy, I could tell she was exhausted. She had been called in last night for an attack on muggle London but she had also reported for her shift as a healer at St. Mungo's. But what I was really worried about was what my female intuition was telling me. You see, that intuition was telling me that Lily Potter was pregnant.

"Avada Kedavra," Lily narrowly missed the green curse. "You are going to die Lily Potter, and I will make sure of it, though I will no longer guarantee it will be painless. Crucio!" This curse hit its mark and I sped up to reach them faster. Would this torture affect the baby?

"Impedimenta! Sectumsempra!" I was pleased to see Lily immediately stop convulsing on the ground. She shakily took her feet once more and out of the corner of my eye I saw Marlene McKinnon come over and apparate her out to wherever they had set up their healing facilities today.

"Confringo," I dodged the spell and quickly sent a Jelly- Brain jinx his way. He blocked that and we continued hurling jinxes at each other as he began to speak. "Who are you? Are you one of dear Lily here's friends? You can't be Marlene or Mary since I killed her. Perhaps you are Dorcas?" My only response was a body binding curse that he deflected. I think talking to his opponents was a way to distract them; it gives him an upper hand in a way. Or maybe I was distracted to begin with, worrying about all the people I love who are fighting today, but either way I was just hit by a curse.

Tell me your name. I can't believe he used the imperious curse on me just to get my name. Tell me your name now. Isn't it weird how it sounds like it's your own head telling you to do what he wants you to? I wonder who invented this curse, they were quite ingenious. Say your name aloud. Okay, Voldy I will.

"It's Petunia Dursley. What's yours?" I cast a non- verbal babbling hex (kind of an ironic statement isn't it? Non- verbal babbling) and he was so surprised I had thrown off the imperious curse that he almost didn't block it. Almost. So we continued to battle with no conversation. A jinx came out of no where and hit him right on the back. It seemed dark and I didn't recognize it but the Dark Lord must have because he said the counter curse within a second. Instinctively I knew Lucius had sent the hex to try and give me the upper hand.

We must have been dueling for only fifteen minutes or so (which in an ordinary duel is a short time but against the Dark Lord it is like living to be four hundred) when I was shoved out of the way. I looked up to see that Dorcas had taken up my side of the duel as the Dark Lord continued to fire curses our way. But Dorcas was not the one to push me out of the way. I stared into my older sister's eyes that were so similar to my own.

"Cissy! Your hair is getting lighter; the potion is losing affect you have to get out of here!" Andromeda was hissing at me as quietly as she could but I knew the Dark Lord heard her. Would he recognize the pet name my sisters had given me? Merlin, I hope not.

He heard her. He didn't make the connection though until Bella called me Cissy in front of him. He asked me if my other sister used to call me the same name. I replied just as Bella would have if met with the same situation.

"Master, I do not know what other sister you speak of, Bella is my only sister." Bella smiled and the Dark Lord prodded my mind. I just filled it with horrible thoughts of Andromeda and let him in. I am still not sure if he believed me. The day Dorcas Meadowes died Lily, James, Alice, and Frank defied the Dark Lord for their third and final time. Maybe he knew Lucius and I did the same, maybe not. I will never know for sure.

AN: Please review and tell me what you think!