Callen looked up at Nate intrigued by what he was hearing, but also cautious about whether it was a trick to get him to open up. Nate stood up and walked over toward the window. He took several deep breaths, then continued.

"I haven't told anyone this in a long time, especially people I'm counseling. I guess technically I'm not supposed to, but I trust you Callen." Nate added the last part in hopes that it would emphasize to Callen how serious Nate was and maybe Callen would return the favor. "I grew up in a small town just outside of Bend, Oregon population maybe just over 15,000 people." Nate looked over at Callen and returned to his chair, "It was like any other small, hillbilly town you'd find across the US, mostly farmers, migrant workers and a lot of people just trying to survive. My father was killed in action just before I was born so I never knew him. My mom was a teacher at the local school." Nate smiled as he talked about his mother and gave a slight chuckle when he thought about her. "She was a great teacher and an even more amazing mother."

Callen was officially intrigued and engaged in Nate's life. He was on the edge of the couch, looking right at Nate as he talked about his mother, about growing up in Oregon and about his childhood and yet Callen, through all the smiling and chuckling, could see a sense of genuine despair in Nate's eyes and hear a sadness to his voice he had never noticed before. He could almost relate to Nate when he said he never knew his father and right away a sense of guilt crushed him when he realized he may have been too quick to judge him. Nate continued on, trusting that Callen wouldn't smash the fragile pieces of his life that he was so carefully laying in Callen's hands.

"Everyday after school I would go to my mother's classroom and I would sit and do my homework while she graded papers, then we went home and had dinner when I finished. I remember one day, I was about seven years old walking to her classroom. I remember turning the corner and seeing a large crowd of people standing outside my mother's classroom. I remember people being sad, but I don't remember what they were saying to me. An older man grabbed me and walked me away from my mom's classroom." Nate paused looking right into Callen's eyes, then he looked away. "I remember yelling, being very upset and scared, but having no idea why or what had happened. I can't even tell you what happened next, I have no memories of going to the hospital or where the man took me, its all just a blur." Nate paused and looked up at Callen. To his surprise he noticed a slight tear building up in Callen's eyes, but Nate pushed on. It hurt to talk about this memory, and Callen could see that, but Nate had to push through the pain, he had to finish his story.

Callen cleared his throat and said to Nate, who was hesitating, "So, what happened to your mom?"

"She was shot by one of her students." Nate said standing up and walking back over to the window. Making eye contact with Callen was essential, but he found it to be harder than he expected. He continued staring out the window, "One of her students came into the school with a shot gun intending to shoot another student, a bully I suppose." Nate took a deep breath in, "My mother got in his way and when she wouldn't move, he shot her then the boy, then himself." Nate's voice up till this point had been calm, solemn, yet unwavering, but as he continued on Callen heard a trembling in his voice and although he could not see Nate's eyes he thought he might be seeing tears forming.

"My mother didn't die that day, but that was the day I lost her." Nate continued. "She recovered from being shot physically, but she never step foot back inside that school. From that day on I became the parent and she became the person I took care of. She couldn't sleep, she hardly ate, and when she did sleep she would wake up screaming most nights in terror." Nate turned back around and looked at Callen with watered eyes and found that Callen's eyes were welling up too.

"I'm so sorry Nate. I had no idea." Callen said sympathetically. Callen had completely forgotten that this was his psych eval and immediately felt calmer and maybe even safer than he did when he first walked in.

"I know." Nate nodded and returned to his seat wiping away some of the tears that almost fell.

"So what happened to your mom? Is she still alive?" Callen asked.

"Living? Yes, but alive? No." Nate replied. "When I was twelve my grandparents took me in and raised me from there on. My mother was placed in a facility to help her heal, but she just stayed frozen, never moving on and never leaving that classroom in a sense."

There was a moment of silence between the two men as Callen processed in his mind what Nate had just shared and Nate processed in his mind how Callen would react. Nate looked down at the floor, leaning forward in his chair resting his lips on his clasped hands. Then he looked up at Callen, back in psychologist mode. Callen was staring at Nate's feet uncertain of how to respond, so many thoughts running through his mind.

"When you said I didn't know what it was like, you were partly right. I may not have lived your life, but I can understand it, if you let me. I don't know what it is to be you. I can't read about you from any book or internet article and I can't learn about you from any file the government has on you. I can only learn about you from you and you can only know about me from me." Nate said.

"Why are you telling me this?" Callen asked looking up at Nate.

"Because just like you, Callen, I grew up without parents too. I lost my father before I ever knew him and I watched my mother slowly die too. I know the burden that comes with carrying that pain around, I've seen the fear that's in your eyes every time you draw your gun or hear a gun shot and I feel the loneliness of your soul when you roll out your bed mat every night here."

Callen nodded and bit back his lip. He understood what Nate was saying and was so shocked, so surprised that he couldn't respond. Nate's story shook Callen to his core. He knew what Nate felt inside, he knew the anguish and pain that Nate carried with him every day, and he finally understood why Nate cared so much about him even when Callen was so blatantly mean to him. Nate and Callen were not as different as Callen thought. Nate had a real understanding of what Callen was feeling, a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie was why Nate wanted to help him, not because of some job. That to Callen was more important than anything.