BPOV
I snuck around the side of Jacob's house to his bedroom window. It was wide open. He was snoring loudly in his bed.
"Nick… love… yummy…"
I jumped, but Jacob was still asleep. I wasn't the only sleep talker…
"Yes, I love you… oh Nick… YES! I WILL MARRY YOU!"
I gasped. What was he dreaming about?
I climbed through the open window. I crept over to his drawers, and opened his underwear draw. I pulled them all out and stuck them in a plastic bag, and then I climbed out of the window and ran into the bushes.
JACOB POV
Nick walked up to me and screamed.
"Nick, what's wrong?" I demanded.
"I LOVE YUMMY SAUSAGES!" he yelled. I frowned, as he pulled out a sausage.
"Yes, I love you," he moaned to the sausage.
"Oh, Nick," I groaned. Nick was kissing the sausage now.
"YES! I WILL MARRY YOU!" he yelled to the sausage.
Suddenly, Bella appeared.
"I'll chop that sausage of yours!" she screamed, brandishing a pair of scissors. Nick gasped, covering his penis.
"No!" he gasped. Bella sighed.
"Not THAT sausage, THAT sausage!"
She pointed to the sausage in his hands.
"It's true, she chopped my sausage!" yelled Edward, appearing out of nowhere. I screamed, as he held up what looked to be half of a sausage.
I sat up in bed, sweating. It had all been a dream.
I went over to my drawers and pulled out a pair of shorts, I opened my underwear draw and gasped. It was empty.
The dark side had stolen my underwear. I groaned. I snuck out of my room and into Billy's room. I opened his underwear draw and pulled out a pair of black underwear.
"Damn, Billy needs to lose weight!" I gasped, as I put the undies on and they fell to my ankles. They were way too big for me. I pulled them up and pulled my pants on.
NICK POV
I picked up my cell phone and dialed the Cullen's number.
"Esme Cullen speaking," said a female voice. I grinned. Now was my chance. I put on a mature voice.
"Hello, this is Nicholas Stewart from the Seattle police force. I'm ringing about a silver Volvo with eighty-four unpaid speeding fines, a yellow Porsche with sixty-six unpaid parking fines, and a jeep with seventy-nine unpaid speeding fines and twenty-four unpaid parking fines."
"Really? I'll tell my sons and daughter to pay them right away, officer. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this has caused. I'll punish them appropriately. Thank you for calling."
I hung up the phone and began laughing my head off. I couldn't believe she had fallen for it!
BPOV
Esme came storming into Edward's living room.
"I just had a call from the Seattle police force about Edward, Alice and Emmett not paying speeding and parking fines."
Emmett gasped.
"What are you talking about? Rosalie banned me from going to Seattle after I talked to that sexy blonde with the tats!" he protested.
"The mall in Seattle never has anything worth buying!" sighed Alice.
"I spend most of my time with Bella, and we have never been to Seattle together," said Edward.
I smiled at the looks on their faces.
"Who called?" I asked Esme. She sighed.
"He said his name was Nicholas Stewart," she told me.
Emmett gasped.
"The mongrels!" groaned Alice.
"Esme, you DOOB!" exclaimed Emmett. "You've just been pranked by Nick! Damn! How could you ruin our perfect unprankable reputation like that?"
Esme frowned.
"It wasn't Nick. It was a police officer. I want all of those fines paid. I'll be confiscating all of your cars until they get paid," she said strictly.
"How can we pay fines we don't have?" groaned Emmett. Esme frowned at him as she took his car keys. She took Alice's and moved on to Edward.
"How is Bella supposed to get to school if I don't have a car?" he asked her. She smiled.
"Bella has a car," she mused. I grinned.
"Yes, Bella does have a car," I laughed. Edward frowned, handing over his car keys.
"For now," he muttered. I frowned.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, love."
JESSICA POV
I sat up in bed and gasped. Jason front next door was peering through the window.
"What are you doing?" I demanded. He jumped.
"Oh, you're awake. I um… was just… wondering whether your body was real. UM! I mean, wondering whether those boobs were fake… um… no, um… I was um… just saying hi."
He disappeared. I raised an eyebrow. Was he stalking me? For a moment, I was shocked.
I grinned suddenly. I had a stalker! Yay! I wonder what he really thought of my body. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Lauren's number.
"Guess what? I've got a stalker! Yay!"
BPOV
"Why are we trashing Jessica's dad's car?" I wondered aloud. Alice giggled.
"He lets Jessica borrow it sometimes. We'll make it look like she inflicted the damage on the car…"
A boy was peering through Jessica's bedroom window. Alice took out a baseball bat and smashed the front part of Jessica's dad's car. She dented the bonnet and smashed out the windscreen.
"Let's go," she hissed, darting into her new green Lamborghini. I jumped in and sat on the seat beside her. She handed me a box.
On the top, there was a label.
Dear Nick, you left your clothes at my house last night. Why'd you run out on me like that without paying? I'll see you tonight.
I smiled.
"Nice," I approved fondly.
"Just stick it on his front doormat and ring the bell, okay?" ordered Alice. I nodded. She pulled up outside Nick's house and I ran up and stuck the box on his doormat. I raced back to the car as Alice drove off into the distance.
JESSICA POV
"He saw me naked the other day. Do you think he'll start taking photos of me?" I was saying to Lauren. I was so excited that I had a stalker.
"Yeah, you'd better stock up on sexy lingerie," said Lauren.
"Yeah, I'd hate it if he took an ugly photo of me. I can just imagine him pinning photos of me onto his bedroom wall and showing his friends. Oh, Lauren, this is so exciting!"
My bedroom door burst open. My father walked in looking like he was about to poo, frustrated and deep in concentration.
He grabbed my cell phone and threw it out the window.
"OW!" came Jason's cry. "That hit me in the head!"
I smiled. I had a stalker!
"What are you smiling about?" growled dad. "How dare you wreck my car like that, Jessica! I would have thought better of you. Prancing around the house naked… GROW UP JESSICA! I'M CONFISCATING YOUR CREDIT CARDS. YOU CAN SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY IN YOUR ROOM THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"
"Yay!" came Jason's voice. I glanced over to see him peering into the room. He gasped when he saw that I was looking, and ducked.
I grinned, as dad strode out angrily. I had a stalker! A stalker who smashed cars as a sign of attraction! I was so lucky! NICK POV
"You've been sleeping with prostitutes again, haven't you?" growled grandma. I was tied to the bed in the shape of a starfish, naked. I squirmed helplessly. Grandma slapped me across the face.
"No!" I protested. "I haven't!"
"Don't LIE, Nick. We've got all night."
I hated it when mum and dad took Mike out to parties and left me with grandma.
"YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY!" she yelled, pointing at my legs.
"IT'S DIRTY! WHERE'S THE TOILET BRUSH? I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN IT."
-
I had so much fun writing this chapter. Jessica is so weird. She actually LIKES having a stalker. Poor Jacob, having to wear oversized underwear, lol.
X
-Bellapouts
