AN: okay, I'm finally ready to post something again, after someone told me that I'm not good at writing. But this was already written by that time, and my other friends encouraged me that it is good after all. So feedback would be really appreciated for this :D
A BIG thanks for the betaing goes out to XxbagpussxX :D
Jack was sitting at the kitchen counter and had a bottle of beer in his hands when I came down from Connor's room.
Connor was supposed to stay in bed and I told him to stay there whilst I had a chat with Jack.
"Abby? Since when did you have dogs?" Jack said.
I smiled and looked at Sid and Nancy who were at Jack's feet and looking up at him, just like dogs.
"Oh, they're not mine... they're Connor's... and mine actually. They're ours."
Jack looked at me questioningly. "Connor? I thought he moved out? You said I could stay here now!"
"No, I said you could crash here for a few days. I never promised you a place to live!"
Jack put the bottle down with more force than necessary and got up.
"So he's back?"
I nodded, "Yes he is and he's sick, so keep your voice down!"
He looked at me. "Okay, I just want to sleep now. He should get the stuff he needs out of my room."
"Your room?"
"Well, yes! I want to go to bed now. I've been sleeping in a little tent with two other guys for the last two days and I want a bed now. Tell him to get out the stuff he needs and then I'll be out of your hair."
I couldn't believe what I just heard. He really thought that he would get to sleep in Connor's room!
"Jack, I told you, he's sick! He has pneumonia!"
"So? He's going to keep us awake all night with his coughing? Can't he just crash somewhere else? I'm tired and I want to sleep! And he should take his deranged dogs with him!"
I shook my head and turned around. I didn't even want to look at my brother.
"You're staying on the couch tonight! And by tomorrow, YOU can find somewhere else to sleep. You wanted to stay here for two nights! You just outstayed your welcome!"
"You're throwing me out?" Jack's voice sounded strange.
"That's what it looks like!" I turned around again and looked at Jack.
He was standing there, his mouth a tight line. "I'm your brother, your family, and you're throwing me out for some guy?"
"He isn't just some guy, Jack!"
He got nearer to me and was getting louder, I could feel his breath on my face and the smell of alcohol made me feel ill.
"Oh, so he's more important than your own brother?"
I backed a step away from Jack. He never looked so... violent before. Maybe it was the alcohol he had at the festival and he said he was tired.
"Come on Abby, tell me to leave!" He yelled now.
I backed further away from him, he reminded me so much of Henry right now. This was not the Jack I remembered, not the fun loving little brother he was before he went off to the festival.
He was obviously drunk and I felt like the little girl again. He was scaring me.
"Jack, please! You know a lot of people here in London, you could stay with them."
He laughed. "Oh, Abby, but why would I want that? I have everything I need here. I'll tell you what we are going to do! You go up there and tell your little friend to get his stuff together and that he sleeps on the couch!"
"Jack, he has pneumonia, he needs to stay in bed!"
"But not in MY bed, do you understand me?" That wasn't a question, more a command. He grabbed my arm and pulled me nearer to him.
"Now, GO!" he shoved me and I lost my footing and fell backwards to the floor.
"Jack, stop it!" Was that my voice? I wasn't just feeling like 15 again, I sounded like it too!
He was standing over me now and then he kicked me. "Get up!" Jack laughed while I tried to get up. "Oh Abby, Henry was right. You haven't changed one little bit."
"What?" I froze at the mention of that name.
"Henry, you remember him, don't you? He said that you wouldn't have changed, that you're still a little coward. When you left we could finally become a proper family.
You always caused trouble."
"I didn't do anything!"
"Oh, but you did, sister dearest. You always got into trouble, mum told me that. And that you were hitting on Henry!"
I had tears in my eyes now, this couldn't be happening. I shook my head "I didn't ... no!"
"And then you tried to break mum and Henry up by telling mum that he'd tried to rape you." He laughed. "You! As if! You always looked more like a boy, why would Henry even look at you?"
Tears streamed down my face now. "So, sister. Now, go and get your friend out of my bed! And better yet, tell him to leave!"
When I shook my head he lifted his right fist and I was sure he was going to hit me. I didn't even think of defending myself other than lifting my arms to protect my face and head.
But the blow never came. I looked up and saw Connor standing behind Jack holding my brother's arm.
"Get out! Right now!" Connor hissed. His face was angry like I had never seen it before. He shoved Jack away from me.
Now it was Jack who was lying on his backside. He was staring at Connor, who had placed himself between Jack and me.
Jack got up and tried to hit Connor, but he easily deflected the strike. Fighting Dinosaurs for years and working out with Becker had helped him develop great reflexes.
Jack stood back and laughed.
"What do you care what happens to her? Are you fucking her?"
Connor got even angrier and only repeated one word. "Out!" He took Jack's jacket and tossed it at him. Jack turned around and while he was heading for the door tried to kick Nancy, but luckily she got out of the way. The last word I heard from my brother was "Creeps!" before he slammed the door.
I just sat on the ground and buried my face in my hands while I cried.
A creaking floorboard told me that Connor had moved closer to me. I felt him move when he sat down in front of me.
I briefly looked up, crawled into his lap and took in a breath.
"What happened there Abs?" he whispered in my ear whilst he stroked my back. I couldn't answer him. I couldn't even begin to explain it to myself, let alone to someone else. "Abby? What did he mean? And who is Henry?"
He just held me tightly for a few more minutes, his head resting on mine. He could sense I needed time and didn't push for an answer.
"You shouldn't be up, Connor." I told him quietly. I untangled myself from him and got up. I helped him up too and wanted to get away, but he had still had hold of my shaking hand.
"Alright ... I'll tell you, but you have to get back into bed, okay?" I had promised I would answer his questions, even though I knew it would hurt. If he didn't want me anymore, after he knew everything, then I had to live with it. I was used to being alone.
Connor nodded and we went up to his room again. I sat down on the foot of the bed and Connor settled with his back against the headboard.
"What do you want to know?" I asked. Answering questions would be easier for me than just talking.
"Okay ... ahm ... who's Henry?"
"My stepdad."
Connor sighed. "Abby, can you come over here?"
I looked down. I didn't want to face him while he wanted to know about my past, but I nodded and crawled up the bed to sit next to him.
Connor put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him but looked down. He sighed and kissed the top of my head.
"What did Jack mean with ... you know ... " Yeah, that was Connor. He just couldn't say the hard words. I put my arms around his waist and hugged him to me.
"The attempted rape?" I whispered. I could feel his shudder at the word alone.
"Yeah" he breathed out.
"Well ... I ... he ... okay how much do you want to know?"
"Did he hurt you?"
"Yeah. He used to beat me for no reason. When I was 15 he came into my room and tried to feel me up. He said that I should be happy that he even looks at me ... that I'm worthless."
I could feel a tear on my shoulder and looked up. Connor put his hand on one cheek and kissed the other.
"Conn?"
He took in a shuddering breath. "But he never did it? He didn't ... you know ... do IT?"
"No. That was the first time that I did fight back. I left the next day."
"Did you go to the police?"
"No. I just wanted to get away from all that. And nobody would have believed me anyway."
"Where did you go?"
"Ahm ... to my aunt. I just took a train to London and knocked on her door. I lived with her the next 3 years. She helped me to get the job at the zoo!"
"Did you tell her?"
"No ... not everything. But she knew that my mum was drinking a lot although she hadn't spoken to her for years."
"You were happy there?" He slid down on the bed and took me with him. I put my head on his shoulder.
"Yeah, very. My aunt is great. I see her every week in the kickboxing class."
Connor giggled "Why do I see an older you when I think of her?"
I smiled "Well, maybe because she is. Auntie Cora owns a little second hand shop in Soho."
"And you never took me there? I'm hurt Abs! Are you ashamed of me?" He smiled.
"No! It is just ... well, I ... she never met any of my friends."
"Why not?"
"Well, first of all, I never had many friends."
"But you were happy while you lived with her?"
I smiled and sighed "Yes!"
"Good." He yawned and I realized why he had asked me all the questions. He wanted to remind me of good times, and he had managed to do that. I felt safe, here with Connor. I didn't deserve him.
"Go to sleep Conn. You need rest! Do you want some soup later?"
"Hm ... yeah." He murmured, and his eyes began to close.
I stood up again and went down to the living room. When I looked at the door I felt the need to lock it properly and then I double checked it just to be certain.
An hour later I had some soup ready and the animals were fed. I was watching TV when I heard something, like scratching. I looked to the door at first. Nothing, then I heard it again and had to laugh. Sid and Nancy were trying to get up to Connor's room.
I went over to them "Hey you two? Where do you think you're going?" They looked at me and turned back to trying to get up the stairs.
"Wanna go see Daddy?"
I swooped them up and carried them upstairs. I let them go over to Connor's bed, where his hand was hanging out from under the covers. They nibbled on his fingers.
He took in a breath and begun coughing instantly. Okay ... surprising him was not a good idea! I run down to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.
When I came back, Connor was sitting up and Sid and Nancy were curled up in the blankets. Connor smiled at me when I handed him the water.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Okay. Still a bit sleepy though."
I sat down next to him "Need more sleep?"
"No ... not right now. Torchwood will be on in minute! I don't want to miss it."
"Alright"
After we had watched Torchwood and had some soup, Connor looked exhausted. I made him go up to bed.
He didn't protest, and he was asleep after only a minute. I turned off the TV so that it wouldn't disturb him, and pulled a book off the shelf to read.
After a while I heard something. I turned off the light and watched the door. Would Jack come back? I got up and tip toed over, checked the lock and the door chain.
Then I looked out of the window. Nothing, it was just getting stormy outside. I was getting paranoid. "Get a grip, Abby!" I told myself, and went back to my book. Just when I started to relax again the phone rang.
I jumped up and yelped! "Bloody hell!"
The phone was on the desk in the living room, so I got over there as fast as I could to stop the noise.
Without looking what the caller ID said I asked "Yeah?"
At first I heard nothing. Then "You're throwing out your own brother?"
I took the phone away from my ear to look at the caller ID now. It said unknown.
"Who ... who is this?"
"Oh come on! You know who this is Abigail!"
And he was right ... Instantly I knew who was at the other end.
Henry.
TBC
