Emmett and I had to wait until Rosalie's detention was over. Now we had yet another reason to prank those idiots. Jessica had gotten Rose on detention. The list was endless. There was no way any of us were going to come out of this completely sane. I was beginning to wonder what we were thinking when we got ourselves into this mess…
"Okay, so Jacob and Nick are having a sleepover at Nick's tonight."
Emmett was explaining what we needed to do to Mike, who had somehow joined us today to prank his own brother. Honestly, what was the world coming to?
"For the tenth time, Emmett. We know that they're having a sleepover tonight, alright?" sighed Mike. I laughed.
"Exactly," sighed Emmett in frustration. "Which is what I'm trying to get through your thick skull! This is the perfect pranking opportunity for us! Those idiots aren't going to prank us tonight. So basically, we can do whatever we want to them."
"Aren't sleepovers for girls?"
We all looked around to see Rosalie, looking grumpier than normal. Emmett embraced her in a bear hug.
"So I'm guessing that detention didn't go so well?" I grinned. Rosalie sighed frustratedly.
"Oh, the detention was fine. It's the fact that the reason I was there was Jessica's stupidity," sighed Rosalie. She seemed to realise that Mike was standing with us. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"One Newton is enough to prank," she growled, raising her finger at Mike. Emmett stood between them, a big grin on his face.
"Chill out, Rosie. Mike's doing us a huge favor by joining us and ratting out on his own brother!" he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Rosalie just shook her head.
"I don't care who he is, and what he's doing to us. I don't trust him. He's a Newton, for crying out loud!" she sighed, throwing her arms up into the air.
Mike looked upset at this. It was embarrassing to admit that I was actually feeling sorry for a Newton.
"Just give the kid a chance!" I exclaimed. Emmett turned around and glared at me. He raised a hand.
"Bella, this isn't your field of expertise. I'm the only one who can deal with Rosalie, all right? Good, I'm glad we understand each other."
I pouted. If he thought I acted like him, then wouldn't I be able to deal with her as well?
Emmett turned to Rosalie.
"Okay, babe. I know he's a Newton. But he's on our side, I'm sure of it. Just trust me on this one."
Rosalie smiled and held up her new cream-coloured handbag. Emmett raised an eyebrow.
"Sure, on one condition."
Emmett groaned.
"There's always conditions!"
Rosalie laughed and handed him her bag.
"I bought this yesterday at the mall with Alice. Your job is to go to the mall and buy the exact same bag in black. Cream just doesn't suit me…"
Emmett grinned.
"Sounds easy enough. Where did you buy it at?"
Rosalie giggled.
"Funny thing is that I can't quite remember."
Mike groaned and went and stood in front of Rosalie. He took the bag from Emmett, and thrust it at Rosalie. Rosalie glared at him, looking as if she could kill him.
"Look, get over it. Whether you like me or not, I'm on your side now. Get your handbag yourself."
Emmett laughed.
"Wow, Mike. Didn't know you had that sort of anger in you!"
Mike smiled.
"I guess watching my How to be a real man DVD paid off!"
Jacob POV
Out of all the stupid things I had ever done, this was definitely the worst. There was a very slim chance that the Cullen's might not know that I was on their territory, staying at Nick's house on the weekend his parents were away, but it was unlikely.
For bloodsuckers, the Cullen's were actually pretty smart. If they were as smart as I thought they were, they would be watching every move that Nick, Jessica and I make. If that was the case, then Nick and I were doomed. Of course the stupid bloodsuckers would have something up their sleeve.
It's hard to be optimistic when the bloodsuckers are involved. Bloodsuckers plus Jacob Black equals negativity.
It's pretty obvious that Nick hasn't had much experience with the Cullen's. He seems to think that they're not going to have any idea about tonight's sleepover. I'm beginning to wonder why I ever teamed up with that kid…
But there's no turning back now! This is war.
Nick POV
I opened the front door and saw Jacob looking gloomy, standing on the front doorstep in a pair of shorts. He pushed past me and slammed the door behind him.
"What's up with you?" I asked, knowing full well that he thought we were going to get ambushed by the Cullen's tonight.
Jacob collapsed on the lounge and flicked the TV on, ignoring my question. I peered out through a chink in the curtains, looking for any signs of the Cullen's. There was no one outside, and no familiar cars. Why was Jacob panicking over nothing? They probably didn't even know that we were here tonight.
Jacob was watching some sort of tiger documentary on the Discovery Channel.
"Jacob, can you put Cartoon Network on? I think there's a good cartoon coming on right about now."
Jacob turned around and glared at me.
"Look, Nick. You're not funny! Why don't you have a bomb shelter? How else are we going to hide from those bl- I mean, the Cullen's, if there's no bomb shelter here?"
Jacob always said that I needed to think logically more often. Well, he was the one who wanted to watch stupid tiger documentaries and hide in bomb shelters from people who don't even know where we are! We should be watching cartoons and giving each other facials. It's much more manly than sitting in bomb shelters playing cards!
"They aren't coming, alright? They're all so dumb! I bet they watch the news every single night! Don't they realise how many sponge bob episodes are on during all of those stupid news programs? They must be crazy if they think they can afford to miss sponge bob."
Jacob sighed, and rolled his eyes at me.
"Dude, you're so weird. Everyone watches the news. The news is informative. My dad watches the news, for crying out loud! He's actually kind of smart, I guess. As for sponge bob, that was my favourite show when I was four."
He turned around and faced the TV. Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't know what he had meant when he just said whatever that was, but it was obviously something mean and hurtful.
I went outside and examined the street one last time. No sign of any Cullen cars. Jacob was just being an idiot. They weren't coming tonight.
The sun was setting in the distance. Once I had claimed Bella for myself, I could walk her up the hill every night to watch the sunset, seeing as my parents had sold my car to pay for all the damages the Cullen's had caused and blamed on me.
Bella loved me. I knew it. Edward drugged her all the time, but she still knew in her heart that if she had the strength to get away from Edward she would, and come and live with me in the spare room of my grandma's house, seeing as my parents didn't like Bella very much.
It wouldn't be long now. Bella would be mine soon. I wouldn't have to wait much longer. That stupid drug dealer Edward and his stupid family were going DOWN.
Snapping out of my lustful thoughts of Bella, I went over to the letterbox to get the mail. There were no love letters from Bella, only a colourful piece of paper.
I screamed in delight, bouncing up and down. Jacob came running out of the house, looking scared.
"I knew they were coming! Quick, get inside before they get you!" he cried. I ran up to him and showed him the piece of paper.
"It's a voucher for Wal Mart," sighed Jacob. "That's what you were screaming about?"
"Ten dollars!" I grinned. "That's a lot of money, isn't it? We should go and spend it! I can buy condoms for Bella!"
Jacob sighed.
"Whatever. Let's make it quick, though. I want to see the end of that tiger documentary."
Bella POV
"Bella, stay still. I'm messing up your war paint," growled Alice. I shuddered as the cold, green slime made contact with my face. Edward, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Mike looked very strange in their camouflage jumpsuits and war paint.
I sighed, knowing that I probably looked just as stupid as they did.
"No one's going to see us, Emmett. What's the point of war paint and jumpsuits?" demanded Mike. Emmett shrugged, and looked through his binoculars.
The eight of us were crouched behind bushes, waiting for Nick and Jacob to fall for our trap.
"Nick has taken the bait!" he whispered, just as Alice had finished putting my war paint on.
Edward crawled over to where I crouched, and chuckled softly when he saw me. I blushed.
"Bella, you look nice in war paint. You should wear it more often," he noted. Jasper laughed, and patted Edward on the back.
"Edward, that's the corniest thing you've ever said," he laughed. Mike gasped in amazement at Jasper's words.
"Wow, Jasper. That's a lot of anger you're showing there. Have you been watching the How to be a real man
DVD, too? It really helps you out loads, doesn't it?"
There I had been thinking that Mike was actually somewhat normal…
Emmett leapt to his feet.
"Let's go," he ordered, holding up a green water pistol and running along the ground in a crouched position towards Nick's house.
I got to my feet and ran after him.
"Now, Bella," said Emmett, trying very hard to keep a straight face. "Stay calm. We might not come out of this alive, and if we don't, then I'm glad that I was able to teach you how to be a rebel."
"Bella's as much a rebel as I am a saint," laughed Jasper, squirting Emmett with his water gun. Emmett stopped running and grabbed Jasper by the shirt.
"This isn't funny. We're here to do a job. Bella is a rebel, and this whole thing was her idea. The best part is that I'm her mentor. Now stop wasting your water, and let's go and do this thing," he growled.
We reached the house. There was no one in the street, so we didn't have to worry too much about being seen. Emmett was having a ball. He was taking the whole thing seriously, acting as if he were a real army commander.
"Now, we don't have long before the enemy realizes that the voucher is a fake and return home," began Emmett, before being cut off by Jasper squirting him in the face with his water gun. Emmett held up a fist to Jasper, but Alice stood in front of him, blocking Jasper from harm.
"Don't ever interrupt my army speech, dude," growled Emmett.
"Get to the point," groaned Rosalie.
"Well, now this is the battlefield," said Emmett, grabbing a stick and drawing a map of the house in the dirt. "We have the perfect means of…"
"Go, go, go!" cried Jasper, signaling for everyone to move in. Emmett tackled him to the ground.
"Don't… interrupt… my… army… speech! I'm… the… commander… not… you!" yelled Emmett, slapping Jasper between every word. Jasper pushed Emmett off of him and got to his feet, brushing dirt off of his jumpsuit.
"What are you, a girl? Be a real man and punch. Slapping is for wimps. Maybe you should watch that video of Mike's, How to be a real man."
Rosalie went over and punched Jasper square in the face. Jasper didn't flinch. Being a vampire paid off.
"There? You happy? You got punched. Now let's do this, and stop wasting time!"
She turned and ran up the front steps, where Edward, Alice and Mike were waiting for us.
"Good thing you've got a girl to do the fighting for you," muttered Jasper.
-
Well it took me a while, but here's the next chapter. For some reason I keep getting Mike and Nick mixed up, which is really starting to annoy me. Review your feedback. What the Cullen's do to Nick and Jacob will be in the next chapter. Stay tuned, folks. (:
-Bellapouts
