Chapter 4
I'd like to say that things went back to normal, with winter calming down and spring around the corner it would have been a wonderful time for the town to be at peace. But it wasn't… well at least not in my head.
Mom isn't any better if not worse. For the first time in my life she doesn't look like the strong women I always saw her as, but frail and breakable… Her candy floss hair is duller, dare I say even graying in parts. Tim –who is making weekly visits to check up on her- won't say anything new and it bothers me… a lot.
The snow is melting into mush and slush and well not much fun to play in. May and Stu have boarded up their sleds and taken to indoor actives leaving me with two less playmates. Not that I think I'd be up to playing much with everything going on anyway…
I work more these days. I mean I always worked for most of the day before. But it had been more collecting a few eggs taking long breaks and running errands when needed type of stuff. But with Mom sick I'm taking all the orders, and answering the phones all day. I've never realized how many customers we really do have… Rick does all the finances but without Mom helping his outside chores are dwindling, so often there are times I'm be running from the house to the coops trying to both answer phone calls and care for birds.
In town I suppose Popuri pushing Gray has slimmed in importance especially when the condition of my mother got out. I never did find out what Gray thought of it. I suppose I should apologize but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm too afraid he'd be mad still or… well I suppose its silly…
I think one time he tried to talk to me about it… I'd been leaving the Inn a little late that day and saw him come out of the library. It had been like a deer in headlights moment –or so I've heard- I froze every fiber of my body halting. His eyes locked with mine and he open his mouth like he wanted to catch my attention. I think I squeaked… I'm not sure. But at the same moment Duke opened his winery doors and I almost fell to where he was. Quickly asking him how Manna was and where he was heading off to. He seemed quite confused caught off guard and to say it was much of a conversation would be an entire lie. But it had gotten me away from Gray, and that had been what I wanted.
At the time it seemed like life of death to talk to him, but now… well I suppose its the same. After that I made sure not to see him, I took the long way home and never visited Ann while the blacksmiths was closed, it was funny if not ironic that this was the same man I'd been thinking so much about only weeks ago.
It some instances my thoughts hadn't changed much, I'm still rather curious about his past. I'm still afraid of the blacksmith just amplified now. Is it possible to be so curious and so afraid of one person at the same time? I suppose so. See I thought I'd been hiding it pretty well –my fear of Gray that is- I mean I'm sure people had known before from my squeaks when he raised his voice and such I was a little put off. But when my fear heighted I thought I'd been more careful to not allow it to seem out of the ordinary or strange… That was until I'd stumbled upon Rick on his way to the bar.
The drinking limit is only eighteen in on the island so Rick is well over the age limit to intake some alcohol now and than. But I know for a fact he doesn't go to the bar every night to drink away his worries. The reason he did instead being Karen. Why he'd ever want to be with her while she is so wasted I'll never know. Maybe it is for safety, so Karen doesn't go stumbling into the Goddess Pond or something while drunk.
Any way I'd been down at the beach, even in winter with the crisp salty air and no doubt freezing water it is calming to me. I've been seated at the edge of the dock for an hour or so just thinking when I sit up starting on my way back home the sun already setting.
That is when I find Rick but it isn't his voice that makes me stop dead it my tracks. But another's… Grays. As quickly as I'd started up the ramp to town square I stumble back down on to my knees hiding from their view. I even close my eyes hoping the extra black screen it put between me in the man would provide some sort of protection.
"Hey!" Gray's ruff voice rumbles.
"I said I didn't want to talk!" Rick yells back.
"And I say that doesn't matter I have something to say."
"Listen," my brother's voice ticks. I can envision him clutching his fists holding himself back from clawing out the blacksmith. "I have a lot of my plate, okay? And you don't need to be added to it! I don't have the time nor the patience to listen to anything you have to say. Alright?"
There is a long silence and I can bet Rick has attempted to walk away.
When Gray mumbles something that could have been fine it was stupid anyway, I can't quiet hear him.
"What was stupid?" Rick demands.
Darn Rick curiosity will kill you.
"Nothing."
"What was it?"
A pause.
"Popuri."
I jump at my name my hand digging into the sand.
"What about her?" Rick asks and I'd expected his voice to be sharp, mad, or angry that this man had even said my name. I mean he had already ranted a million times about him… But instead it is almost slightly pleading… desperate…
"I could swear I'm Satan himself around her. The stupid cabbage patch kid runs at the very sound of my name!"
"And why shouldn't she?" Rick demands seeming to get his wit back.
"What have I ever done to scare her?"
"I don't know perhaps it's the way you scare everyone in this damn town!"
"I do not!"
"Oh really?" Rick scoffs and I know this isn't just rage he'd bottled up about Gray anymore. (Though it probably has contributed to some degree.) It is everything that has on his mind the past few weeks in particular. Everything pulling him down, enraging him. And Gray is just someone to take it out on, "name one."
"Mary!" Gray says immediately and Rick takes some time to form his next response.
"Yes Gray Mary and you know her parents don't approve right? That besides her -and I have no clue what type of possibly ink transmitted vermin she get shoved up her nose to get that- no one else."
"Take that back!"
"I mean no offense to Mary, she's a good girl. I only question her judgment once in a while!"
Silence again and I can feel the anger rolling off the two.
I'm waiting for their little shouting, -which by this point I'm suspecting has been going on from two opposite sides of the square- to continue, someone to walk away, something. Then I here a quieter voice. Not at all a small voice it was definitely ruff but it is quieter than before slightly frustrated. "Will you just tell your sister that-"
"Tell her yourself!" Rick growls fed up but I doubt he actually wants Gray to come near me.
"I've stinking tried damn it!" Gray growls. "Just let her know I'm not mad or whatever the hell she thinks."
"Why do you even care?" But Rick's reply seems to come unheard to Gray and if he didn't have such loud footsteps I wouldn't have even heard him leave. Rick doesn't pressure him further either. It is then that I'm most tempted to peak open my eyes and watch their body language, everything that was being said that I can't see.
But I don't. I wait minutes after my brother's shoes soft clicking leave the area, and only opened them when I'm sure no one is around.
It has gotten dark, the moon is shining brightly above of me. Slowly as I stand I notice that I feel a little lighter. He isn't mad at me…
I don't know why that news has given me such a relief, enlightenment. He wasn't out to hunt me or other crazy fantasies I well may or may not have thought about… I sigh leaning on the ramps railing. Finally, I think. There is much to much going on lately to have me thinking there about Gray. But part of me knew this reveal wasn't making me think of him any less, just differently...
Thanks so much for reading everyone please continue to tell me your thoughts! (:
