After Love

Chapter 3:

Key of Blood

This chapter takes place a month after the events of Chapter 2.

Sora slammed the door to his room closed. He had been impatient for school to finish, he had been feeling sad again. Sora had completely abandon the ice idea, it wasn't as big of a relief as pain.

He quickly stepped over to his bed and lifted up the mattress. After digging his hand around some, he found what he was looking for, and pulled it out. A knife.

Sora didn't waste anymore time, he all but ripped off his bracelet, a bracelet that he had gotten after the first cut, and rushed to his bathroom. Before he did the deed, Sora remembered that first time.

He stood in his bathroom, over the sink. He had the knife's edge pressed against the skin of his left wrist. Do I want to do this? He thought, well I could try, just to see if it's better than beating myself.

He tested the blade on his finger again, and with slight pressure drew blood. Good, he thought, it's sharp, so it won't take much force. And with that thought, he swiftly pulled the blade across his wrist, before he lost his nerve.

Pain lanced up his arm, clearing every other emotion out of his mind. This is better than I thought possible, he managed to think over his newly-found Nirvana.

After watching the blood run down his arm a little while, he turned on the faucet in the sink, and washed the blood away.

Sora shook his head, and got ready for the blade. He pulled it across his left wrist, cutting over some of his older scars. He threw his head back, and gasped. As the walls sadness was torn down by the pain, Sora knew that one cut wouldn't be enough this time. He looked down, and guided his blade across his wrist again, crossing the new cut, making an x in blood. He inhaled loudly through his mouth, this was better than just one!

He reluctantly turned on the water, and slowly washed away the blood.

***

Sora walked slowly into his first period, French. French was easy, all that he had to do was copy down the vocabulary, listen as the teacher raved about language being a high school credit course, and doze off when she started on about economics and politics.

He used to sit with a group of people, but after Riku's death, he had become withdrawn, and they had given up on trying to bring him out, and just avoided him. So now he sat alone, mostly doodling and writing while the teacher, Mme. Russell. She was actually from Destiny Island, but considered herself French.

Right now he was working out a poem, he wrote them a lot, and like all the others, it was dedicated to Riku.

I'm all alone,

nobody wants me.

I've been abandon,

nobody loves me.

I'm so lonely,

but nobody's there to notice.

There's only one that won't leave me,

the knife under my mattress.

The only one that gives me relief,

release.

The only one that's there in the night,

keeping me company.

The only one that causes the pain that I like.

Oh, Riku, why did you have to leave me? Why doesn't anybody love me? You were the only one that cared about me, you were the only one that I will ever love. Sora thought all of these things, causing tears to well up in his eyes. But you didn't love me.

He quickly wiped them away, no matter what he couldn't show how weak he was to everybody. As his hand went down, his bracelet slipped, exposing the fresh scars, and as he stared, he suddenly felt shame.

Shamed that he had gone this far to get rid of the sadness. Shamed that he had resorted to a short temporary fix, one that left permanent mental and physical scars. And shame that he had given into the urge after the first time, after he saw how the scars would always be there. But most of all, shamed at what Riku would have thought of him.

Oh, Riku, how much do you hate me? Sora thought, Now I understand why you didn't love me, because you knew how weak I was. You knew that I wasn't worthy of you.

The bell suddenly rang, interrupting his thoughts. He got up, and walked away, leaving his tears behind him.

***

He was now in Gym, with his second least favorite teacher, Mr. Kives. He persisted on trying to bring Sora out from behind his mental walls. He tried to get him active in the warm-ups and exercises.

"Sora, do you want to lead the warm-ups today?" smiled Mr. Kives.

Sora sighed, he had to go through this again. "Not today, Mr. Kives. And not the next day, nor the day after that," Sora said his lines, knowing them by heart.

"Come on, it wouldn't hurt to try, now would it?"

It would hurt more than you know. Sora thought, remembering how he and Riku would always be the first to volunteer to lead the warm-ups.

"Sora?" Mr. Kives looked worried.

Sora didn't respond, he just shrugged, and walked away in silence.

***

Sora walked into Algebra the next day, expecting another opportunity to get some sleep. But as he walked through the door, he noticed that there was a new kid in one of the desks.

Curious, he walked forward, and took the seat next to him. The blonde boy looked up at the noise, he was obviously nervous.

"Hi," he said, after a few seconds of silence.

"Hey," Sora managed to say back. There was something about this boy that seemed to draw him closer. "My name's Sora."

"My name's Roxas"

Yay!! Roxas is here!!!!!!!

~Bulletmeds