Hi guys, its JoMo again. Thanks to everyone for bringing the number of reviews for TDN across the 100 mark. As promised, the chapter would be up earlier than usual. In addition, this one's an old favorite… the title would have given it away, though. Without further ado, the next edition of Total Drama Next!


The theme song first cuts to various sceneries on the island.

(Theme song plays)

"Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine"

The scenes on the island then go into slow motion, as Noah, complemented by sunglasses, steps out of a boat with Lindsay.

"You guys are on my mind"

Allison is shown performing a fighting stance ala her mentor Harold.

"You asked me what I wanted to be"

Shawn, looking like his idol Shawn Michaels, laughs at this, but Ted, inspired by the Ultimate Warrior, glares at him and Shawn jumps in fear.

"And now I think the answer is plain to see"

Shawn backpedals into Ginger with gothic wrestling gear and smiles at her. Ginger cannot resist a smile.

"I wanna be famous"

Just then, a rustling is heard in the bush nearby. Gwen, who has a funerary hat like the Undertaker, brawls with Heather, who looks like a female Chris Jericho.

"I want to live close to the sun"

Heather slaps Gwen's hat off, which hurtles into a camo-pants wearing Cody on them, knocking him down.

"Well, pack your bags cause I've already won."

He is helped up by Chastity, who is wearing a cheerleader's outfit with a WWE logo on it.

"Everything to prove nothing in my way"

Danny, wearing white armbands and wrestling attire, looks on disapprovingly.

"I'll get there one day"

Heather, now wearing a suit, claps as DJ, in Jamaican wrestling gear, hits a double leg drop on an intern.

"Cause I wanna be famous"

Bridgette and Jared are shown performing double dropkicks on another intern.

"Nanana nanana nana nana"

Ezekiel in rap bling and jeans is shown in a ring, taking on Seth with a Straightedge hoodie. Seth goes for a cheap attack, but Ezekiel kicks him in the gut and hits an Axe Kick. As the homeschooled celebrates, Izzy swings in on a vine and glomps him.

"I wanna be, I wanna be; I wanna be famous"
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous"

The couple kisses while fireworks erupt on all four corners. The camera then zooms out to show the other 15 remaining contestants of Total Drama Next. Whistling then ends the theme song…

The cockerel then crowed loudly, ending Ezekiel's sweet dream.


Confessional Cam

Ezekiel- Now that was strange, eh. I must have read too much comics.


(Meanwhile in the Osprey Cabin)

"Who tore my comic book?" Cody fumed as he saw the remains of his Spiderman comic on the porch.

"Wait, that's a rhetorical question. Only one person could have done it, and that's… you!" the tech geek proclaimed, pointing to Danny.

"W-what? I didn't touch your book!" the prankster defended.

"Then what's this?"

Inscribed in the comic book was "D x C" with a heart surrounding it.

"I wouldn't have done it so blatantly,"

"Who would believe you?"

"I would," Chastity interjected. "Stop running down poor Danny, I believe someone else did it," "But who?"

This question would remain unsolved, even as the challenge started.


The contestants were first brought to a room that belonged to a game show. "Today's challenge will be a pro wrestling challenge! Each team will be participating in a wide variety of matches. It will involve blood, sweat and tears before our winners will be crowned! Today's winners will get… nothing! This is because I feel like it, but the losers will vote someone off nonetheless,"

"Hooray," Noah cheered. Sports were never, and would never be his forte. "This means that we will toil for your pure enjoyment."

Chris just ignored him and continued, "To answer the action hating bookworm, the first half of the challenge is a trivia contest, which covers various questions related to pro wrestling. Each contestant will face off with one member of the opposing team, before passing over to the next individual. This means that no one can answer twice.

The first person to press the buzzer gets to answer, but if he or she gets it wrong, his or her opponent gets the opportunity. Their chance will return should the opponent get it wrong too.

There are 9 questions, as requested by some fool," Chris points to Trent, which causes Gwen's eyes to gleam up.

"Trent!"

"Whatever, love sick weird Goth girl," Heather quipped. Gwen frowned.

"Back to the game, each correct question garners a point. In addition, Trent here will be playing some random songs on his guitar to distract you. So, are you ready to rumble?"

Crickets chirped.

"No!" Seth replied.

"You're funny," Chris said sarcastically.


After a discussion of which contestants to go first, it was decided that Seth would go first for the Jays and Danny for the Ospreys.

"Here's the first question: who performed WWE wrestler Triple H's theme song?"

The buzzer went off as Seth tapped on it off the bat.

"Trent Is A Moron," he answered.

Trent was pissed off at Seth, but Gwen had taken care of the latter by kicking him in between his legs. The straightedge advocate slumped to the ground, groaning.

"Oh, that's gonna leave a mark. It's still incorrect," Chris said, laughing, "Danny, your turn,"

"Motorhead," the prankster answered calmly.

"That's right, and the Ospreys take the lead!"

Gwen then volunteered to face Jared in the next answer-off.

"Next question, which WWE superstar was responsible for the most number of eliminations in a single Royal Rumble match?"

Gwen knew the answer, but Jared had beaten her to the punch.

"Kane," he answered, extending the Osprey lead to 2-up.

Gwen sighed as she passed on to Ginger, who faced Lindsay.

"Are you sure you know the answers?" Noah was still doubtful, even though his girl had become somewhat smarter.

"Who was the female manager for popular WWE tag team The Hardy Boyz?"

"Oh, I know! It's Paula!" Lindsay gleefully answered as Noah facepalmed.

Chris was guffawing. "It's… wrong!"

"Why not," Lindsay asked. "My sis worked as a female manager for swimwear store Hardy Buoys!"

"Not that, Lindsay," Noah said, annoyed.

"Seriously, the answers couldn't get dumber than this! Hopefully Ginger will do better,"

"Lita," she said, and the score was 2-1.

Next up was Bridgette going up against DJ.

"Which Jamaican…"

"Kofi Kingston!" Bridgette declared as she put her hand to the buzzer.

"Seriously DJ, what were you doing," Chris said, hinting that the question was rigged in the gentle giant's favor. "Anyway, Bridgette gets the point,"

Following them was an all-veteran battle, with Heather going against Cody.

"Which native son uses the Sharp…"

"Bret Hart," Heather suavely answered.

"That's correct!" A shocked Chris said.


Confessional Cam

Heather- I used to watch wrestling to entice those bird-brained jocks, but now I'm glad it pays off.


"Complete the catchphrase, I'm the Miz and _,"

Chastity was facing Shawn this round, and surprisingly she hit the buzzer first.

"I'm the Wiz?"

Shawn struggled to hold in his laughter as Chastity was denied.

"I'm awesome!" With that, the two teams were tied.

"Now we'll up the ante from the next question onwards," the host announced as both Ted and Noah stepped up to the plate. Who was the first ever pro wrestler to hold the WWE Championship, WCW Championship and ECW Championship?"

Both thought for a while. Noah seemingly had the answer, but the bigger man got to the buzzer first.

"Kane," he replied.

"Yes, Kane won all three championships, but he wasn't the first to do so. Nah, that's the wrong answer. Noah, you're up,"

Confidently, Noah belted out "The Big Show".

Pausing for a while, Chris replied.

"Correct!"

Everyone was slack-jawed.


Confessional Cam- The Good, The Bad and The Giggly

Shawn- That was classic!

Chastity- Oh silly me, that answer sucked. Just had a Lindsay moment there.

Noah- Having eight older siblings does have its perks.

Now, it was down to Ezekiel and Allison.

"Bring it on, girls watch wrestling too!" the tomboy referenced the infamous incident back in TDI.

"It's all right, eh, I've learnt from my mistakes!"

"Here's your question. Which WWE wrestler, other than John Cena, starred in 'The Marine 2'?"

Both thought long and hard, but Ezekiel eventually put his hand to the buzzer, nanoseconds before Allison did.

"It's Ted DiBiase Jr.,"

"That's right!" Chris announced. It was now square once more, and the game would go on to the very end.

"Since everyone has gotten his or her turn, the 9th and final question can be answered by anyone! The team that answers this correctly will be victorious in this first part of the challenge, bringing with them an advantage into the second part!

Now the final question: Who won the first ever Elimination Chamber match?"

A uniform silence was the response he yielded. However, the buzzer sounded, leading to the initiation of a voice several have come to hate.

"Shawn Michaels," Seth, who had recovered from Gwen's kick, chimed.

Chris hesitated, enjoying his features in a mirror, before saying, "That's correct! The Jays earn an advantage in the next round!"

Despite the apathy towards the villain, the Jays remained glad that he won.


In the field that the next challenge was to be held, Chef toiled in the sun, setting up two wrestling rings, presumably one for the Jays and the other for the Ospreys. Meanwhile Chris sat on a lawn chair. From the ring to a nearby bevy of trees was a walkway.

"The next challenge will be where the contestants engage in a pro wrestling match… against two BEARS! That's right, meet Molotov and Bruno!" The tan-colored familiar of Wakanawa and a gray-furred Siberian bear came down to the ring, glaring at the contestants menacingly.

"What?" Bridgette was mortified to learn that she was facing a bear.

"WHAT!" Cody ran behind Danny and Chastity fearfully.

"That's not the reaction of a great bear hunter like myself!" Chris beamed.

"Bears are animals too! We shouldn't torture them for your own entertainment,"

"Too bad, because I don't give a damn what you think," Chris said. "In addition, if you don't do well in the match you're one foot out of the door. The rules are simple. Pin the bear to the ground for a 3 count or force the bear to submit by making him slap the mat thrice,"

"That's easy," Shawn quipped.

"Trust me, its not that easy," Chris replied.

He signaled for an intern to enter the ring. The poor blonde hair intern [1] was facing Molotov. After circling the bear for a few seconds, the intern managed to pin the bear down, only to be launched right out of the ring one second later. In the other ring, another intern faced Bruno. He grabbed the bear's leg and tried to put him in a Leglock, only to be pushed out of the ring as quickly as the first.

The competitors looked shell-shocked at the pure power of these grizzlies.

"As the winners of round 1, the Jays get this,"

"A cane?" Ginger questioned. What are we supposed to do with that?

"Weapons are barred in the match, save for this cane," Chris said, passing the cane to the Jays. Seth grabbed it before anyone else could do so. "In addition, only one camper is allowed in the ring at any time with the bear. Finally, the Jays pick the bear they wish to fight. Remember, Molotov appeared in TDI before, where LeShawna soundly beat him in a Log Rolling competition to win immunity. Bruno is an unknown quantity,"

"We chose Molotov," the Jays said in unison.

"All right then, this means the Ospreys are saddled with shackling Bruno,"


Confessional Cam

Seth- I'm worried about the stipulation too, but not because the bear is going to get hurt. What if my pretty face gets scratched? That could be the end of my pro wrestling career!


"Ding ding ding!" The bell rang, signaling the beginning of the matches, which were held in tandem.

(Jays)

Seth, the weapon wielder, was of course elected to start for the Jays. He swiveled the cane before attempting to hit Molotov, only to get a boot for his troubles. As Seth rolled out of the ring, Ezekiel shook his head and took over.

(Ospreys)

The Ospreys weren't doing any better though. Handicapped by being weaponless and their team members' refusal to do battle, they barely made a paper cut on Bruno.

"RAWR!" the bear bellowed. Noah immediately backed down from the challenge and Lindsay volunteered herself. An earth shaking roar later, Lindsay tagged in Jared. The hockey player sighed as he did battle, obviously without his trusty hockey stick.

(Jays)

Everyone on the team, including Seth, held their breath as the bear lifted the prairie boy up with ease. Cheers then erupted when the toque wearer slipped out and kicked Molotov's calf repeatedly. The bear tried to swipe Ezekiel with a vicious elbow, but Ezekiel ducked it and grabbed the Jays' cane. He then whacked Molotov's calf with it, chopping it with the finesse of a lumberjack. Ezekiel then finished with a two-legged dropkick on the injured calf and Molotov slumped to the mat. He covered Molotov, and the refereeing intern counted a 2 count, as Molotov jerked his body upwards soon after. The impact bounced Ezekiel off the ropes, but he soon made a comeback by performing a rolling evasion into a Half Crab, a move where the user sits on his victim's lower body and pulls back on the leg, stretching it.

As Molotov groaned in pain, Chris and Chef sat at a mock announcer's table, calling the match.

"Who knew Homeschool could wrestle?" Chris lauded.

"Well we saw him bust out that unique headscissors throw back in the warrior challenge," Chef answered.

(Ospreys)

Meanwhile Noah and Cody were talking strategy.

"Seeing as the Jays have targeted their opposition's leg area, it would be unwise to follow their lead. Therefore, we should target Bruno's arm area," the egghead said.

"Yeah, this sounds like good strategy. Work on a specific body part and wear it down." Cody replied his friend.

"But won't that hurt Bruno?" Bridgette asked worryingly.

"Don't worry, Bridgette, we aren't setting out to break his arm, we are only weakening it. He will regain the ability to use his paws following the match,"

Danny, who was currently in the ring, was working towards this goal. He snapped Bruno's arm on the ring ropes and then climbed up the top turnbuckle, flying down onto the arm. He then positioned himself such that he was hyper extending the arm. The grizzly groaned in pain. To his credit, Danny managed to secure the hold for 30 seconds, but when Bruno finally overpowered him, he was in for an awkward landing…

"Could you get off me, Danny-boy?" Chastity said, heavily blushing as she tried to get Danny off her.

"Whoops, sorry!"


As time went on, the highlight reel showed that both Molotov and Bruno eventually fought back. The former took advantage of an argument amongst the Jays, as always. When Ted, who was the individual in the ring, went to look for the cane, he was just in time to see Seth attempting to hit Ezekiel in the rump with it. Ted climbed out of the ring to argue with Seth and in consequence, the tall farmer broke the stick into half, forgoing the Jays' advantage. DJ tried to help by entering the ring, but Molotov caught his attack and successfully pinned him down. Nevertheless, the resilient gentle giant began to battle back.

Meanwhile, Bridgette's apprehension at wrestling the bear caused Bruno to take down Danny, who tried to help her. Bruno then began his revenge by hugging Danny tightly.

Gwen and Cody began standing on the ring apron; both eager to enter the ring, despite the latter's fear of such creatures. Eventually, both contestants halted the bears' momentum. DJ managed to reverse a Molotov tackle into one of his own, knocking down a surprised bear, while Danny hurled himself at Bruno and the daredevil took out both his opponent and himself.

The crawl of mere inches seemed like an eternity to the worn out pair, but almost in sync, they slapped the hands of the Goth and tech geek respectively, making a tag. Gwen and Cody threw whatever they had at their respective opponents but the bears soon used their strength advantage to whip both TDI veterans against the ropes.

Nevertheless, both were more than ready. Gwen blocked Molotov's kick while Cody did the same for Bruno's swipe. Gwen then put her adversary in a Figure Four Leglock, while the tech geek who formerly crushed on her neutralized Bruno with a Flying Armbar.

"Ooh, this is down to the wire! Will either bear submit?" Chris said, soaking in the atmosphere. Just then, an intern rang the bell, and the challenge had concluded.

"It seems like both bears have submitted! I could find tougher cadets in the army," Chef boasted.

"Whatever," "Molotov" and "Bruno" removed their heads to reveal two sweaty and exhausted interns?


The cast gasped in shock.

"Remember kids, it does not pay to be Chris's interns,"

"I'll fire you two!" Chris barked.

"Anyway," Chris continued, "Let's go to the Slow Mo Camera once more!"

The screen split to show both sides of the action. It was shown that both "bears" raised their free arm at the same time, but Molotov slapped the mat a tad earlier than Bruno did.

"The Screaming Jays are the winners again! Ospreys, I'll see you once more at the campfire ceremony.


That night, the Ospreys and Trent, the latter ready to go home, were at said campfire ceremony.

"All right Ospreys, yet another loss for you guys. You all know the drill, when I call your name, come up and receive your marshmallow. They go to…

… Cody, MVP of the second challenge,

… Danny, who was skilful in tackling the behemoth bear and showed great resilience,

… Jared,

… Chastity,

… Allison,

… Noah. You were lazy but still helped the team with your smarts.

Lindsay, Bridgette. This is the final marshmallow. Both of you did poorly; Bridgette was apprehensive just because I made her wrestle a bear. Meanwhile, Lindsay got in some offense, but was still utterly clueless, regardless in trivia or the real deal. With that, I hereby declare the seventh-best Osprey in this challenge to be…

Li…

Just then, a familiar theme rang from the stereo connected to the dock.

"Your time is up, my time is now,

You can't see me my time is now,

It's the franchise, boy I'm shining now,

You can't see me, my time is now!"

"John Cena?" McLean said, his face turning pale as everyone cheered. The Chain Gang leader entered in a speedboat, belying his name of "The Marine". He saluted the Ospreys before stepping off the boat.

"Who in the blue hell are you to interrupt my campfire ceremony?"

"You used two bears in a challenge for your own entertainment. You also tortured these campers by making them go through excessive strain and embarrassment, without giving them any reparations in return…"

"I did!" Chris declared. "The 'bears' were interns dressed in bear suits! Duncan won the $100,000 in TDA!"

"That was only one individual. Many of these kids worked to give you drama, but you never paid them a single cent. That goes for Chef Hatchet too, who did not get a raise throughout the series. This explains the sub par food the teens receive everyday,"

"Come on, challenge me! "

"In addition, you get exclusive rights to hair gel and quality facial treatment, paralleled by no one on this island. This has elevated your ego, and should be enough to make you an unworthy host. Since I've answered your doubts, if you want some, come get some!"

"All right," Chris said. "SECURITY!"

Instantly a few guards charged Cena, but the WWE wrestler easily overpowered them. The campers watched in glee as the Master of Thuganomics did his 5-Knuckle Shuffle fist drop on two guards. Chris would not let up, and sprayed his hairspray into Cena's eyes.

As a pair of guards subdued Cena, an individual suddenly ran off several boats and kicked one of the guards, freeing Cena to beat up the other. The figure, his attire inspired by renowned musician Jim Morrison, then threw his adversary into the water, as Cena followed suit.

Chris then begged off the two superstars. However, he then made the mistake of rushing at the unnamed figure when they turned back. John Morrison avoided the cowardly blow and Chris rushed right into the waiting arms of Cena, who walked the whole length of the dock before slamming the egomaniac back first onto the Boat Of Losers.

"It's the Attitude Adjustment!" Jared announced gleefully.

McLean tried to crawl out of the boat but Morrison pinned him down and Cena duly subdued him with the STF, a move in which the user steps over the opponent's leg and locks in a sleeper hold on the downed opponent. As the boat began to leave, Chris began submitting to the manuever.

"Wow, that was dramatic," Bridgette told Lindsay.

"This means that with Chris leaving, no one's eliminated today!" Danny cheered.

What could have ended in a terrible day for the Ospreys turned into a rather enjoyable one as they celebrated under the moonlight.


Screaming Jays- Gwen, Heather, Ezekiel, Seth, Shawn, Ginger, Ted, DJ

Killer Ospreys- Jared, Noah, Lindsay, Bridgette, Cody, Chastity, Danny, Allison

Eliminated- Katie, Ken, Duncan, Keely, Harold, Izzy, Danielle, Kate


[1] The blonde intern was obviously Billy The Intern from TDA.

That was a huge surprise. The challenge turned out to be a reward challenge, where no one was voted off. Anyway, for the wrestling part of the challenge, I tried to work out a way in which there would be no male on female violence, so I understand if you think it was underwhelming.

However, this leaves a lot of question marks for the next chapter.

With Chris off the island, will Chef be able to step up to the plate? Will anyone miss Chris? Find out on the next edition of Total… Drama… Next!