A.N: So far, the reviews I've received are all statements that I continue the next chapter…so, thanks to those who wanted it continued :))
Eternity and Forever
Damn the man! I fumed to myself as I paced the very wide living room of the new house Dawn and I bought. It's always his pride! Damn! I give up! I sat down the nearest sofa and stared at something that wasn't there, but as soon as I side-glanced at a frame on the table, my gaze rested on that image.
I continued staring and just realized that I was now holding it in my hands and staring at it and I noticed how my knuckles turned pale white due to my tight grip on the frame as if it was my life line, and by letting it go, I'd die in the very first second.
It was a picture of me and Sylphie, and as I continued staring at it, behind Sylphie, at the very wide space behind her, there would always be a vivid image of Spike lurking there, which caused tears to stream down my cheeks once again.
I placed the frame on my lap and flipped it down, so our picture was obviously staring at my lap, and wiped the tears with the sleeve of my jacket.
"Is anything wrong?" a voice broke in into my very solemn moment, and a few more seconds later, I felt the hand of my daughter above mine and felt how she gripped my hand, obviously trying to think of ways to comfort me, but couldn't come up with one.
I smiled inwardly and looked up at my daughter's teary blue eyes and opened my arms to her and drew her close and I began stroking her pale hair. "It's fine, honey. Mommy's fine. I'm just remembering…something."
"Is that something very importn't that it made you cry, mommy?" she asked, her voice muffled through my clothes. I kissed the top of her head and rested my chin there. "Yes, sweetie. Very important that it makes me think that I'm such a masochist."
Sylphie raised her head up and stared at me as tears continued to roll down her cheeks as well. "What's a masochist, mommy?" I gaped at her and then recovered just as immediately to kiss her forehead. "A masochist, sweetie, is one who enjoys pain." She opened her mouth and protested, "That's not true!" she cried out. "Mommy's not a masochist! She's very kind and loving. A masochist isn't like that, mommy. So, never say that you're one, because you aren't mommy."
I smiled at my daughter's logic and placed my hand atop her head and ruffled her hair. "You're right, sweetie. I'm sorry." She looked up at me with that look that said she still doesn't believe me, making me smile even more. "Alright then, mommy won't say that she's a masochist anymore, if," I looked at her hand and said, "you give me some of your cookies." That made her look at her hand and giggle. "Right." She said and handed me some of her cookies. "I fo'got 'bout these cookies," she looked up at me and smiled. "You can have as many as you like, because they're yours anyway." She sighed once she saw my surprised look about the cookies. "Aunt Willow baked them for you and asked me to hand it to you because she said something's making you 'pset and lock yourself somewhere, so she asked me to give it to you."
I stared at Sylphie and then smiled again and kissed her forehead. "Honey, could you go call your aunt Willow for me?" she jumped off my lap and nodded eagerly. "Okay." And skipped out of the living room.
I laughed to myself as she skipped out of the room and began to hum to herself, but when she was finally gone, a frown came out again. I blame Spike for my stupid foolishness! Why doesn't he just let of that stupid pride of his and believe that Sylphie is his daughter! Stupid Spike! I hate you! I-I…don't hate you…Damn it!
"Buffy?" I heard Willow's faint voice from the door breaking me out from my stupidity once again. I looked up and saw her holding Sylphie in her arms. I raised the plate of cookies and smiled, "Thanks for making these, Wil. I'm happy that you were considerate enough to make me this while I was wallowing." I laughed a humorless laugh.
Willow shrugged and came over to sit beside me. "Want to…talk about it?" she asked, her expression turned serious so suddenly which surprised me. I stared at her and then glanced at Sylphie, and Willow immediately got the message, and then she turned to Sylphera and ruffled her hair. "Sweetie, why don't you go to your uncle Xander and see what he's up to?" Sylphera suddenly beamed and slid off Willow's lap. "Okay then." She came over to me and kissed me on the cheek and said, "I'll see you later, mommy." And with that, she was gone from the living room.
"So, what's up?" she asked once Sylphie was gone.
I looked at the frame once again and said without looking at Willow. "I've seen…Spike." I immediately felt Willow's hand on my shoulder. "Seen?" she gaped. "Seen as in seen alive?" I smiled faintly and slowly shook my head. "I've seen him in my dreams." I began. "It's like…he's trying to make me feel him. It's like…" I thought of the right word. "Something's going to happen to him. Because if there wasn't, he should've began showing himself to me for the past five years, but none. There wasn't any contact." I paused. "But look now, he's trying to talk to me. He's trying to tell me something, I just know it."
"We'll figure it out then." Willow answered as tears began to flow again. "I h-have to t-talk to him, Wi-Willow." I stammered. "What if something's going to happen to him?" at least I managed to choke that out. "We have to help him." Tears kept on flowing even though I tried to stop each one of them, but I couldn't stop all of them and they continued to flow down. What if there really was something happening to Spike? Oh god… I sobbed to myself.
"Actually," Willow said, breaking through my thoughts, "I came across this spell that enables you to talk to them, and even touch them. At least if we do that, we will be given enough time in order for you to talk to Spike. Is that spell alright?" I looked at Willow and nodded. "As long as I am able to talk to Spike and know if there is something wrong, and if there is one, Willow, we will have to resurrect him."
She stared at me as if I was mad. "Buffy," she sighed out, holding my hand in between hers. "how could we do that? Spike burned to death. He's ashes now. We can never resurrect a vampire, you know that."
I suddenly began to cry eve more. I knew that. I knew that. I knew that a vampire could never be resurrected, but I…I love Spike so much that I just can't let him go. I do know that he is no longer with us, but I feel him everywhere, and now, I can't even think what I would feel if I can no longer feel him with us…with me and our daughter. I have to find a way to be able to help him.
I looked up at Willow and I saw a reflection of my desperation to bring Spike back in her eyes. She sighed and said. "Never mind what I said, Buffy. In fact, I managed to come across a spell that can bring a vampire back to life. But, this spell is very delicate, and there is an ingredient that is essential to this spell." She stared at our fire place and then back at me. "Which is?" I breathed out; completely exhilarated to know that there is a way to bring Spike back.
"We need a few of his ashes…" she answered and I stared, but then sighed, and that was then that I realized I was holding my breath.
"His ashes?" I asked, and then she nodded her answer, and that was when I opened the first button of my blouse and took out a bottle-like necklace, which contained, she obviously knew, ashes. She pointed at it and gaped, "Is that…?" she couldn't continue, and I knew why, so I simply nodded and looked at it. "Yes," I began. "I took a little from the urn before we threw his ashes by the sea. I just couldn't part with it. I wanted to at least have a little of him for me and—"
"What about your daughter?" she snapped at me. "Isn't she a little part of what Spike left?" She massaged her temple. "The priest said that you should've placed all, all, of Spike's ashes in the urn, but you disobeyed him."
I looked down at my clenched fist on my lap, feeling ashamed right now. What she said was true. I really didn't need the ashes because Spike left a big thing for me, Sylphera, but I couldn't bear to have all his ashes disappear, so I had to take a few, for keepsakes.
"I know what I did was wrong, Wil. But I really needed something of him to remind me that he was there and protected us, from all those Ubervamps…" I suddenly shuddered, remembering that herd of vampires that attacked us, and if Spike wasn't there, we could've all died.
I remembered the moment I held his hand and then that very hand began to burn, and I remembered the time when I said 'I love you' to him, and didn't believe me…
"Alright! Alright!" she said then, obviously her patience was thinning already. "Give them to me so that once you have talked to him, the ritual for his resurrection will immediately commence." I nodded and took the necklace from my neck and handed it to her.
Willow then stood up and went to the shelf where most of her ingredients were displayed on, and took a book and a bottle with red powder in it, and then took four candles as well, and then she moved the table and placed it in a corner so that the center of the living room was finally empty, and then she opened the bottle and poured it out, forming a shape of a square in the carpet, and then after that, she placed each candle on each corner and then opened the book and began chanting foreign words and began lighting each candle.
Once that was finished, she looked at me, nodded and then asked me to sit in the center of the square, so I did and turned to her. She looked at me with a serious look on her face and asked "Do you truly love Spike, Buffy? Despite your protests about it not being true?" she paused. "Because whatever you're going to answer to that question that will hold against it, I will not believe it, your actions for the past few days do not show how you despise or loathe Spike, Buffy, what you have shown is quite the opposite, and you know that."
I was caught off guard by that question, but I knew I couldn't lie to Willow, and the answer was pretty obvious because of my actions as well, so I nodded and said. "I do. With my whole life." She nodded back and said. "and how long, do you think, will your love last for him?"
Now I gaped at that question. Wow. That was one serious question, but I had to answer it, "Eternity and forever."
She smiled at my rely and said "Good answer, Buffy." And with that, her eyes turned white and I was enveloped in white, and the last thing I remember seeing was the face of my daughter, by the door, with that look of total fear.
