I stared at my mother, unable to speak. It felt like my whole world had shrunk to only hold that one phrase: I have cancer. "No," I said, finding my voice. "No. You're healthy, you're… you're not sick! You can't be!"

"Clary, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. He gave me the results of the tests, and they were positive." Mom's eyes, identical to mine, looked so sad.

"Then get a second opinion!" I didn't know why I was screaming, but I was, and I couldn't stop. "There are so many different tests and treatments and doctors… you have to get a second opinion!" I stopped, panting. No. No, no, no. Not my mom. No!

"Yesterday's appointment," Mom told me, "was my second opinion. My first appointment was last week." My breathing hitched. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. "I'm so sorry, Clary, I should have told you sooner. I was hoping that it was all a big misunderstanding, and I didn't want to upset you for nothing. But now… I'm sure. I start radiation treatments next week."

Finding my voice, I said quietly, "Mom, the whole truth is always the best thing. Always. I can't believe you and Luke have been hiding this from me all week!" I felt tears dripping down my cheek, and wiped them away angrily.

Mom looked away, mouth turning down slightly at the corners. "Luke," she admitted, "doesn't know yet."

I stared. "How," I demanded, "how could you keep this from us? We had the right to know! You can't just keep it to yourself, it's not fair! Not when it's something like this!" The tears wouldn't stop coming now. Not wanting my mother to see me cry, I turned and ran from the room. As I headed for the stairs, I nearly collided with Luke, who was just getting home from work.

"Clary?" he said, surprised. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't bear to look at him. He had no idea what was going on. He still didn't know. I just shook my head and dashed upstairs, into my room. I collapsed onto my bed, thinking only one thing: Please, let me wake up. This has to be some kind of nightmare. I'm tired of it, I can't take it anymore… I need to wake up!

I heard Luke's voice, muffled by distance: "Jocelyn? What's going on? Why is Clay so upset?"

I felt my heart break. I don't want to hear this… Yet I couldn't bring myself to cover my ears. "Luke, there's… there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?" I could imagine him going to her, covering her hands in his. "What's wrong?"

"I…" She sighed. "I'm sick, Luke."

"Oh. Well," he said, sounding slightly confused, "do you want some medicine? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"I've… already been to the doctor. He told me what's wrong."

Voice tight, Luke said, after a slight pause, "…And?"

"I… I have…" Mom's voice broke, and I knew it had to be so hard for her to tell him this awful, unbelievable news.

In the end, she didn't have to tell him. Luke wasn't stupid. He figured it out on his own. "Oh, God… Oh, God, Jocelyn…" I knew he was hugging her now, tightening his arms protectively. So quiet that I wasn't sure if I was hearing things or not, I thought I could hear him whisper brokenly, "…No…"

I clamped my hands over my mouth, repressing sobs. Mechanically, I reached for my phone, and dialed a very familiar number. After two rings, Simon's voice answered, "Hey, Clary? Did everything end up alright?"

I lost it. Crying desperately, I said, "Simon, my mom, she… she…"

"Clary, shh, calm down. What's going on?"

"My mom… cancer…"

I heard him suck in a breath. "I'm on my way." There was a click, and then he was gone. Tears still running down my face, I dropped my head onto my pillow. Suddenly, I was really mad. Not at my mom; she couldn't help what was wrong with her. I was mad at myself.

Why did I yell at her…?

Tears still dripping down my face, I breathed heavily into my pillow and waited for Simon.

There had been times in my life that I'd been sad, desperate. Hurt. Devastated. But never, ever had I felt like this. It was worse now than when I first found out. I watched as he was wheeled out of the room.

He looked up at me and gave a slightly forced grin. "Hi."

"Hey."

"I know I don't have hair anymore," he said, "but I have scars, now. Will the girls still like me?"

Carefully, I leaned down and patted his shoulder. "Of course they will," I told him, making myself smile. "You're a sexy beast."

"Just like you!" he exclaimed. He giggled happily, and in that moment I swear my heart broke.

"Clary?"

I opened my eyes and looked up to see Simon. Without thinking, I threw myself into his chest. I felt his arms wrap around me as he whispered, "It's okay. It's okay. I am so sorry. God, Clary, I am so, so, sorry."

Against his chest, I choked, "She's known… for a week. She never… told me. Ever. I hardly even suspected it. I was just… worried that she was mad at me."

We were silent for a while, except for my sniffles. Then, Simon said, "…Do you know what kind it is?"

I shook my head, pulling away slightly from him. "She didn't tell me before I left the room."

"Do you want to go talk to her?" Simon asked.

"I guess." I felt bad for yelling at her earlier, but I had been out of control; surely she knew that. I stepped away from Simon and walked slowly downstairs, him following behind me. Hesitantly, I entered the living room. "Mom? Luke?"

They were sitting next to each other on the couch. Mom's eyes were red from crying, Luke's face was white and tense. I swallowed and murmured, "Mom?"

She looked up at me. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mom. But… I have some questions."

She braced herself, and I felt Simon grab my hand. "Well then, shoot."

By the end of that discussion, I knew that she had stage four breast cancer, that it was very difficult to treat, and that she most likely would not survive it. My mom would most likely die within the year. No. No. No. No. She was my mother, I needed her! For God's sake!

This isn't happening, I thought numbly as I walked Simon to the door. "You sure you'll be okay?" he asked me for the umpteenth time.

"Yeah, Si, I'll be fine. See you at school tomorrow."

He gave me a little half smile. "See you, Fray." He smoothed a hand over my head, and before I could be surprised, he was gone.

A/N: I know, this took freaking forever. I have no excuse except that for some reason this chapter was really hard to write. I promise, I'll try to update more often from now on. :/