This chapter I'm blaming on (grr she keeps changing her name) Leiaa768! Only the idea. The flub ups, bad spelling, horrible grammar, missus of everything a real writer uses and if I didn't do Jamie's voice right that is all my fault. On the edge of rated M without using rated M words of course. sorry. I'm just having fun with Mrs. Meyer's babies in her wonderful world she created. I of course own nothing.

(Jamie)

"Ugh!" I heard Heidi groan as she set the crate of dirty dishes down hard. "Of all the chores around here." She grumbled followed by a hard splashing sound. "Ugh!" She grumbled under her breath again, followed by the sound of a wet dishcloth slapping against a plate. I slipped in staying in the dark, watching her in the blue halo of the lanterns, for a while. I watched as she frowned and could hear her bickering under her breath, her white-blond-hair glowing neon, shimmered while turning her head rolling her eyes and scrubbing the dishes with a little more force than needed.

"Hey Heidi, water." I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, I could tell being the official water girl pissed her off at times. She huffed than pushed the crate of wet clean dishes over, quickly standing up. "You want water?" She snapped. Yep she's pissed, but I could see a hint of the evil grin she gets when she's up to something.

I think she needs to cool off. I couldn't hold in the snicker that escaped.

Suddenly without thinking, I was pushing her backwards, both of us splashing into the pool, her legs and arms still floating upwards tangling with her hair, tons of tiny bubbles started foaming around us. She fought her way back up gasping air when she hit the surface. I dunked her back down. She clutched until she grab a hold of a handful of my hair. She twisted in the water dunking me down, my butt hit the bottom, knocking my air out. I quickly freed myself from her hold putting her into a head lock than submerging us back under the water. She wrapped her legs and arms around me to keep me under. I had to think about baseball, old ladies in granny panties with back boils, to keep from her feeling the true reason I pick on her.

Soon we were laughing between gasps of air, which caused a problem, I couldn't think of anything to distract me from everything about her. "Come on we need to wash up!" Kyle bellowed from outside the entrance, along with some of the others grumbles. Saved by Kyle's big mouth.

We laughed getting out still pulling each other back in when we got almost out. "Truce?" I slugged her arm almost sending her back into the water, when we actually got both feet on sorta dry ground.

"Yeah truce." She pushed me for the punch to her arm.

I watched her in the blue glow, bend down quickly grabbed the crate of now double rinsed dishes, her short cut off jean shorts, dripped small streams of water down the length of her legs and her red T-shirt clung to every detail of her upper body, causing my problem to come back. Granny panties, old lady with back boils, back boils, popping old lady back boils, old man hairy butt boils.

I had to repeat that to myself over and over as we sloshed our way out, past the line of dirty dark purple people. They just got back from helping, the other pocket of people like us, open up some room in their tunnels. Mel wouldn't let me go, which I'm happy about now.

I ran to get the scythe, Jeb wants me to cut down the dried up corn stalks, which I should have already been doing.

Before I got to the entrance, I heard my sister Wanda ask Heidi, what she wanted her, to pick up for her, from her for my birthday. It wont hurt to spy. Heidi mumbled "A magnifying glass and rear-view mirror." What would I do with them? Does she think I am that little of a kid? I'll be eighteen. Guess she thinks I'm wanting to go burn some ants or something. I lifted my arms cursing my muscles or lack of. I see the way she looks at the other guys. "Excuse me?" Wanda asked what I would like to ask. "I do not think I heard what you said." I could hear paper being folded.

"I heard him say he would like to have the last book in this saga he has read." She said dismissively. I wondered if she misses when we use to lay in the corn garden next to each other while I told her about the stories. I do.

It's only been a year and few months but, I really missed how she smiled and her eyes would sparkle, at me, when I would use my arms and hands to describe different things. Hell, I would have read the damn books to her if I thought she would let me, just to get a glimpse of her smiles and see her relax next to me. What I missed the most was how it felt like I had a best friend, that wasn't at that moment, asking for something or how many times one of the new girls bent over wearing a shirt you could see down, or what my cousin Sharon or sisters Mel or Wanda was doing. Jared and Ian are so over protective. I can see Ian being protective but Jared, hell Mel could kick any guy's ass here, now that Wanda is out of her. But Nobody tops Kyle in the over protective department, he almost becomes a major jerk over Sunny. He punched me in the gut for bumping into her, which is how I found out Mel could kick any guy's ass she gave him double black eyes and a bruised tailbone for gut punching me.

Ugh!" I heard Heidi grunt, forcefully setting on the ground in the middle of the dried up corn stalks, next to her lantern. I watched as she laid back to quick I could see and hear she almost knocked the wind out of herself before folding her arms staring at the night sky in the mirrors. After the first book my feelings toward her changed really quick, many ...um... thoughts involved her and the cornfield. Back boils, popping old lady back boils, old men hairy butt boils.

I had to keep thinking of the gross things before I could walk between the stalks to where she lay.

"There you are." I plopped down next to her pretending to just have found her. "I was supposed to come find you to help me." I poked her stomach with the handle of the sickle.

"Really." She set up quickly reaching for the sickle, which I pulled back to myself. Don't think so, Jeb would kill me. "Oh." She laid back down as quick as she did before, folding her arms at the same time, this time, she did knock a whoosh of air out. My eyes went straight to her damp shirt and the slight jiggle the impact caused. Putrid toe jam, long yellow gnarled toe nails, rotten chicken.

I quickly set my eyes on her hands. "We can wait a few hours if you're afraid holding the bucket will rip your skin after washing the dishes." I chuckled then nudged her arm with the sickle handle.

She set up with a heavy sigh. "No we better get started or Jeb will rip both our skin and not the skin on our hands ether." I can see Jeb whipping us, which caused me to smile a little to huge. Uncle Jeb just may be nutty enough. "My hands stay wet making sure you workers get enough to drink anyway." She stood up rolling her eyes. I had to adjust myself cause when she stood my head was turned just right to see the start of the bottom half of her butt and a smidgen of dark lace. I almost groaned, because she can turn me on with just one movement. The other guys snicker and roll their eyes if I tell them I got to see a glimpse of too much of her skin, sure she may not fill out clothes the way the other girls do but her body is hot, not too much of anything the perfect amount of butt, breast and thighs, more than just that turns me on about her but the other guys just wanna know about them parts when that kind of talking gets started.

I sighed standing up next to her. "Yeah you're right Uncle Jeb would be steamed at me." Then elbowed her taking off for the edge of the cornfield. Steamed did I just say steamed. Dork!

"Hey!" I heard her gasp behind me with a small laugh chasing me.

I laughed holding my sickle up. "Get the water bucket, wimpy." I teased hacking through a few stalks in the first row.

I heard a fake growl from behind me. "I'm not wimpy. I could do that if anyone would let me." I turned to see her arms folded across her chest frowning. "You get the water bucket." She pouted, even jutting out her bottom lip. Gnarled yellow toe jammed toe nails, pus filled back boils.

Once I was... under control. I smiled big offering her the sickle which she took quicker then I expected. "Fine. I could use the brake." I fake stomped away with a chuckle.

When I returned she was still hacking away, she got a good distance and I was enjoying watching her hard at work, way too much. When she stopped and turned to look back at me I held the bucket low in front of me trying to control my wide grin that was plastered on my face. When she spotted me her face lite up, proud of herself for her work. "Water please." She giggled. I brought the large ladle instead of a bottle so I could... keep myself hidden if I need to and yep I needed to. She took the ladle drinking it all in one gulp. "Thanks, that hit the spot." She did an evil grin clutching the sickle to her chest before turning to skip back to where she stopped.

I realized just how bored she must get, only getting to hold the bucket waiting for someone to get thirsty, she was doing a really good job and quick, which made me wonder why Jeb always insisted she sit back and carry the bucket. I was happy to hold the bucket and watch her work. After an hour her whole body had a sheen of sweat she had tied her T-shirt above her belly button and twisted the sleeves throw her bra straps and her hair into a messy bun. My underwear and jean shorts threaten to rip right down the middle and my heart out of my ribcage. Dammit! I don't think I'll be able to wait till everyone goes to bed tonight before I sneak off to the game room.

Heidi stopped chopping, turning the sickle in circles in the air. "Having fun Jamie?" She asked breathlessly with a smile walking towards me still twirling the sickle.

"Yep." Is all I could safely say, all my blood in a different area, my heart crashing in my chest and my mouth and throat felt dry. My heart galloping even harder in my chest, hoping she can't hear it, or know why I'm holding the bucket oddly. I quickly got a gulp of water before re-dipping and getting her a ladle full.

She quickly drank it down. "More please." She dipped the ladle instead of handing it back then drank that one down too. "I guess I see how important my job is, but still why can't I rotate like everyone else." She dipped the ladle again then set down next to my feet. She did something I thought she would never feel comfortable doing, she leaned against my legs, the side of her face on my knee cap, her breathing made her face move, and I could feel her breath on my other knee cap, it all sent me over the edge.

"I need to use the restroom!" I blurted stepping back, setting the bucket down, she almost fell sideways before catching herself.

I ran not stopping till I was in the pitch blackness of the game room.

The run didn't help nor did the foul odor of the water. I was a total slave to how much I liked and wanted her, seeing and feeling her drenched in sweat and her hair falling messily around her face combine that with that damn cornfield, part of my fantasy came to life. One hand griped hard rough volcanic rock, the other ...hardness of a softer kind. Thoughts of her in the cornfield ran wild, I didn't stop them, I welcomed them, let them surround me, till I was no longer feeling ether hardness, just me and her. I bit my lip to keep from moaning her name or from making any sound at all for that matter. I could taste blood on my lip and feel the jagged scraps on my hand. How am I going to explain that.

I walked out like nothing embarrassing went on in there for all anyone knows I had to pee really bad, and the sweat is from working. This could work. I slipped grabbed the wall and bit my lip. That could happen. Right? Of course, happens all the time.

When I got back Heidi was hard at work again.

I had to look anywhere but where she was working. I then started to wonder if that is why she starts out watching the other guys then later I see her staring at the walls or floor. God, why can't she think of me that way, cause I am just a kid with a big stupid crush. How did this happen.

My mind wandered back to the best memories I have of this place, besides getting my sister back and adding one.

I remembered Mel and Jared kicking me out of our room. Ian wanting privacy with Wanda. Kyle and Sunny was working on some things. Doc and Sharon was rekindling after she kicked him out. Everyone seemed to be in need of being together alone.

I went out to the middle of the corn garden to read and be out of everyone's way. When I heard someone walking through the stalks, I looked up to see Heidi stop startled. "What are you doing in here?" She snapped at me like I walked up on her.

I looked around then back up to her. "Trying to stay out of everyone's way, while they work out their relationships." I confessed with a shrug.

She looked behind her then back at me. "Me too." She admitted with a sigh, before sitting down next to me.

After a short awkward silence she shifted taking a deep breath than letting it out. "Jamie I'm really sorry about how I treated Wanda to begin with." She looked at me then down at the dirt. "I mean, it was cruel of me. I hope you can forgive me like Wanda has." She started picking at the dirt clumps. "I mean I'll understand if you don't. Can't. Whichever." She let some dirt flow throw her fingers.

I studied her down cast face for a second then sighed. "Jeb said, everyone had their own way of dealing with the souls and it takes longer for most to see past the prejudiced, just like the souls only believed humans was all monsters." I started tracing lines in the dirt. "I'm not mad at anyone over Wanda anymore. Jeb set me down to a really long talk." I laughed shaking my head.

"Yeah he can be a talker when he is passionate about something." Heidi and I both laughed rolling our eyes doing the chatty-hand-PAC-Man. "Pinch-Poke-You-Owe-Me-A-Coke." She did the whole pinching my arm than poking it.

I grinned at her. "Well if they ever let me go back on a raid, that will be first on my list." I promised which made her smile big.

Her smile slipped as she looked down poking her fingers into the dirt. "At least you've been on a few raids." She mumbled under her breath but loud enough that I heard it just barely.

Soon we started talking about our lives before the souls the rest of the day into night.

Everyday we would met in the corn garden. I started telling her about what I was reading, only after she asked of course.

The second book is when things started to stir.

"The trees all glow and waved..." I waved my arms in the air.

"Did they glow different colors, or all the same just getting brighter than dimmer?" She stopped me mid-sentence by taking my hand that was in the air, pulling it down keeping a hold of it.

I was stunned by the look on her face, the softness of her grip on my hand, the way she set up looking straight into my eyes, her's sparkling, like she was really interested and looking for more detail. My face started to burn, all thought of what I was saying was gone, a development had risen to full attention. I was no longer looking at a just a friend. I wanted her.

She kept a hold of my hand asking something else I didn't catch, my heart started pounding louder in my ears, because in that moment, she slid her hand down just a bit I felt her soft skin brush my wrist, her warm breath blow across the side of my face, her eyes looked deeper into mine then she shifted leaning closer towards me my eyes were drawn to her lips as her smile grow. The most sinful thoughts popped into my mind. Thoughts I'd never had about any other girl, thoughts of her body, her soft skin touching mine, her breath hot and ragged against mine, all these thoughts stunned me, with the force they raged though my mind.

I jumped up and ran all the way to the latrine, jumping the boiling river, nearly tumbled down to the latrine part. The run had helped, the near fall had helped too, the confusion and embarrassment helped the most. I stood panting with my forehead on the rough walls, pounding my fists against the wall, internally scolding myself for wanting to do things to her. Not with her. to her, that was the worst part.

I don't know what I looked like when I came out, but it must have been bad because, Ian pulled me into the hall of bedroom tunnels. "You look like hell." He chuckled.

I huffed a laugh. "I feel like shit, if that helps." I mumbled remembering the thoughts that ran like wild-fire just minutes before.

He leaned against the wall looking me over. "Well I would say by the way you ran to the latrine, and the purple dust on your forehead and hands." He raised an eyebrow grinning. "Girl troubles." He stated nodding his head. My face burned hotter than I thought possible wiping at my forehead and hands.

Ian turned walking down the hall to open the red door, then waved me in. I slowly followed.

He set down then patted the space next to him. I plopped down staring at the floor.

"Jamie you have nothing to be ashamed about, you're a teenage boy." Ian nudged my arm. Kill me he does know. I groaned slamming my head on my knees arms limp to my side. Ian cleared his throat. "Look we all may have slipped into the latrine or game room for some privet time." He whispered clasping my shoulder with a slight shake. Really? Ian or any of the other guys needing to do that. "My only advice for you is to think of baseball, if that doesn't work think of the sickest things you can while you're around the person that had you racing off to the latrine." Ian stood up patting my back then kicked my foot. Baseball, sick things how the hell is that going to help. "Cheer up kid." He ruffled my hair. "You're human, we have needs, okay wants." He laughed before walking out. Wants is the understatement of the year, felt more like demands. "Just be glad it wasn't Kyle that caught up to you first." He turned back looking at me through the entrance rolling his eyes. Kyle is more vocal about thing. Damn I did dodged a bullet. He would probably described things in crude detail or even draw things in the dirt. Or worse.

"Thanks Ian." I stood up smiling. I did feel a little more relieved, but only a little. Baseball, sick things, Baseball , Sick things. I repeated in my head over and over as I started to walk out.

"Anytime kid, 'sides what are brothers for." He thumped my back as I walked past. "Oh and if Jared ever wants to sit you down for 'the talk' don't say anything about this little talk, he might get a little pissed, not at you but at me."

I froze a little confused. "What? The talk?" The look on Ian's face told me what talk he meant. "Oh!" I started to rub the back of my neck, I remembered mom giving Mel 'the talk' but I only remembered them talking about periods and babies. "Can you not tell Jared you seen me like this." I couldn't look up at him. "Or Mel."

"Sure kid, not a word, you have my word." He pushed me toward the hall. "Now go be with your girl." He laughed. "Baseball!" He called after me I waved over my head, without turning around, running back toward the corn garden.

A horrible thought entered my mind. Does he know who I like? If not would he think I'm stupid for liking an older girl? They didn't mind Wes and Linda that age gap was bigger.

I walked through the stalks to find, Heidi had laid on her back with her arms behind her head a small smile on her face looking up, I looked up to see stars shinning in the mirrors. I laid down next to her. "Sorry about running out I really had to go. Um.. Where was we?" I asked hoping she wasn't mad.

"You were telling me about the glowing trees." She raised her hands weaving them back and forth, still looking at the stars. She was relaxed and smiling and wanting to know more about something I liked, making my heart leap out of my chest.

After that day I would simply roll over on my stomach and if thing got too heated for me, I would have to think about baseball scores and maggot filled potatoes before I could start talking to her again, then tell her I was trying to remember certain things or lines when in truth I knew the books by heart.

That's how it happened. I miss us like that, just us.

I sighed, quickly blinking the sting out of my eyes, the guys would make fun of me and tell me to stop being such a puss.

"Earth to water boy." Heidi crouched down in front of me looking at me. "See boring as hell." She laughed taking the ladle then standing back up to drink.

"Yeah, I'll try to let you do my chores when Jeb isn't around." I stood up holding the bucket out, so she could get some more water.

She dropped the ladle back in smiling big. "That would be so sweet of you." Then she set down, extending her legs, leaning back, arms straight out behind her, her chest rising and falling harder than usual. Hairy butt boils, pus fill butt boils, maggot filled toe jam.

"let's go get a bath." She stood up quickly dusting off then took the bucket. "Hope we don't run into Jeb." She laughed with a nervous touch to it.

When we got to the latrine I stopped letting her go first. "Jamie I don't bite you can come in too." -wait what?- "I have to wash these clothes and yours is filthy too so it's not like we will be naked." Of course not, damn. She pulled me with her.

The day ended how it started. I pushed her into the pool but this time she was ready and grabbed my arm pulling me in.

When we settled down to soap our clothes up it became quiet, well as quiet as it could over the river.

"Jamie?" There was a rawness in her voice that almost scared me.

"Yeah?, are you Okay?" I asked looking over at her as she got out setting on the edge of the pool looking down with her hands under her thighs. I walked over hopping up to set next to her.

She leaned her head on my shoulder then sighed, "Thank you."

Two simple words but the way she said it made my heartbreak and soar at the same time. Without thinking or answering I put my arm around her pulling her closer to my side she didn't protest or pull away. We stayed like that for a while not talking.

"I got to piss dammit." Kyle bellowed. Dammit! This time I wasn't glad Kyle was rushing us out.

"We better get out before Kyle throws us out." Heidi set up with a small snicker shaking her head. "Or worse pees on us."

We both burst out laughing then stood up.

We were both yawning before we got to the kitchen. We ate in a peaceful silence.

"I'm actually so worn out I can probably fall straight to sleep tonight." Heidi whispered smiling big at me. "Goodnight Jamie." She squeezed my shoulder then stood up.

"I guess I got bored enough maybe sleep will come easy for me too." I whisper back standing following her toward the sleeping tunnel.

She stopped at her entrance then looked at me then down to her feet then at her entrance. "Goodnight Jamie. Thanks again."

"Goodnight Heidi." My voice almost gave out on her name before I stepped into my room as she stepped into hers.

I changed into a pair of sweat pants and a worn-out shirt before laying down. Only I couldn't sleep.

I set on my mat thinking about today. I laid down quickly facing the wall when I heard my two younger roommates voice's down the hall. The boys just a muffled buzz as all my thoughts went back to Heidi.

When I did start to drifted. I swore to myself I would find a way to let her do something other than hold the bucket all the time. A small part of me swore it out of selfishness and jealousy. I didn't want her to see and think about the other guys like I did her today.

Thinking of her running off to a dark quiet place, made me grin stupidly.

Before I had to think about baseball and gross thing. I reminded myself she doesn't watch me like that, I don't have the muscles the other guys have I suddenly hated the thought of her running off to a dark place now, only because she would be running off because the other guys had turned her on.

I flipped over on my mat frustrated.

The small hope I thought I had when we were sitting on the edge of the pool tonight faded.

I did fall to sleep sometimes before I was being woke by Kyle's big mouth yelling. "Wake the hell up. I want to get back here before dark." Then he thumped on the doors, walls and shook the folding wall dividers.

"We're up, shut the hell up Kyle." Ian yelled.

"Fuck off Kyle." Jared and Mel yelled together.

"I'm up I'm up." Paige grumbled out in the hall. "Give us a second."

I changed back into the clothes I wear to work in. When I stepped out Jeb frowned at me. "Why is there still stalks standing in my garden?" He demanded scratching under his beard.

I looked at the ground then back up at Jeb. "It's only a few rows I'll get right on it. I um.."

"It's my fault Jeb, I had him help me and we lost track of time." Heidi stood next to me, saving me from a long speach about responsibility.

Jeb eyed her then nodded. "Well stop yammering and gawking at me and get to breakfast." Jeb turned heading toward the kitchen.

"Thanks." I mouthed, she winked.

When Jeb was out of sight Heidi made a weird happy sound. Before I could turn she jumped on my back arms around my neck I automatic caught her legs wrapping them around my waist so she could hold on. "Do I get to help you? Please, please, please." She squeezed tighter around my neck.

I laughed, making a choking noise. "Only if you want." I teased, causing her to bounce and hug tighter. I've had a fantasy like this only she was in front of me. Gnarled yellow toe nails, hairy infected butt boils, rotten potatoes.

"Are you okay Jamie?" Heidi loosened her grip sliding off my back.

"Perfect why?" I smiled too wide when she stepped in front of me.

She smiled putting her hand on the side of my face. "You looked like you zoned out, you do that a lot you know." SHIT! she does notice. She bit down on her bottom lip looking at me then shrugged looking down then back at me opening her mouth as if to say something, but she never did, she turned and started walking.

"Oh look, oatmeal and toast." I elbowed her before she dipped her bowl.

"And here I was worried we would have toast and oatmeal today." She giggled putting a piece of dry toast on my tray.

"We can take turns so nether of us get bored." Heidi leaned towards me whispering.

"Works for me." I whispered back, noticing she was eating faster than she usually does. "In a hurry?" I finished my breakfast quickly too.

Heidi almost jumped up to put her bowl and tray in the crate taking mine I had to snatch my toast quickly off. She took off toward the latrine. I went to the garden. After she was done washing the dishes I would let her take over my work unless Jeb was around.

Everyday we worked together like this while the others helped in the other group's tunnels.

"Happy Birthday Jamie!" Heidi hugged me as I stepped out of my room.

"Thanks." I hugged her back not wanting to let go but I had to everyone else was coming out telling me Happy birthday and patting or hugging me.

"Our storage room is getting low and because it's your birthday you can go with Wanda on a raid." Jeb thumped my back almost sending me to the ground. "Happy birthday kid."

"Thanks. Really?" I felt the big happy grin spread. "Did you OK it with Mel." I leaned forward toward Jeb.

"My house, my rules kid." Jeb stood tall crossing his arms. "You get to pick who you want to take." Jeb turned walking toward the food counter, while I gaped after him. Me? Choose the team.

I thought about our best raiders. Jared, Mel, Ian, Paige and Andy. Not Kyle he lives for trouble.

"I'll miss us working together, guess it's back to water girl while you're out." Heidi shrugged then she crunched down on her jelly smeared toast. "Oh Hey don't forget my coke." She elbowed me with a laugh.

"Heidi?" I said a little too fast and loud causing me to duck my head soon as I did. She turned to look at me with her toast held to her mouth between her teeth mid-crunch. "You want to come with me? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought maybe you would like to get out for once."

She didn't answer she stared at me still holding her toast to her mouth. "Heidi?" I waved my hand in front of her, her toast fall and I seen her eyes wobble with tears forming.

"You mean it? You would take me?" Her voice was barely a whisper I could see her trying to blink back the tears.

"My birthday. My rules." I copied Jeb crossing my arms then smiled then hugged her without thinking.

I felt her arms slid along my ribcage and her fingers twist my shirt on my back. "Thank you Jamie," Her hands and arms loosen their hold as if her whole body slumped, "but I know Jeb wont let me go." She whimpered on my shoulder and collarbone.

I pushed her back jutting my jaw out like I always do when my mind is set. "My birthday. My rules." I repeated louder she smiled her eyes sparkling at me. I would take her anywhere she asked. I let out a deep breath nodding my head.

It turned out that most everyone had some much-needed things to do for the other group of people so our raid party was four. Wanda, Ian, Heidi and me. Heidi only after I argued with Jeb for an hour, everything I said to him he would say, no, nope, absolutely not. Then playing dirty I asked why he never wanted her to do anything she is a really good worker and she enjoys it, it's not fair to her or the others, then Jeb told me the real reason, and I found out Jeb is a real softy. He told me Heidi was the first young girl they found and to him she is the daughter he never had, and wanted everything for her. He thought of her as being delicate and fragile, then threaten my life with his gun if I ever told her. I'm just glad she is not for real his daughter, that would be some sick backwoods hillbilly shit, I don't date family. Okay okay yeah I know we anit dating. I don't ...have thoughts... about my family.

Raids have become boring, just hours of sitting out in the back of the van waiting, while Wanda shopped, then quickly stacking the stuff in the van while Wanda watches out. Eating fast food then the idea we would be sleeping in real beds was the best part.

Ian set up front when we were on long stretches of the highways.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?" Heidi asked leaning on my shoulder.

"Best one yet." I laid my head on top of hers then felt her fingers on my arm sliding down to my hand.

She entwined her fingers with mine, my heart thumped wildly in my chest, then she laid her other over top with a squeeze. "I'm glad you are." I heard her sigh and felt her shoulders rise and fall with the effort.

We set in the dark bumping along still holding hands and leaning on each other, it was so relaxing.

Ian opening the back doors startled me awake. "Hurry." He hissed turning to slip into the motel door. I seen Wanda stood between the van door and the motel door looking around.

The room was nice, warm and clean. We took turns showering and played cards while waiting on our turn in the shower.

Ian laid down on the bed close to the window so I plopped down next to him getting ready to pull the blanket over me. "Get out of our bed kid. You think I want to lay next to you." He thumped me in the back of the head. "I like to sprawl out and there is only one person.." He cut off crawling to the foot of the bed where Wanda stood pulling her to him. "I want to sprawl out with." He cooed in her ear, making her giggle.

"This chair is soft I'll take it you take the bed." I smiled at Heidi starting to pull a pillow and the sheet off.

"Lay down Jamie I don't bite." She snapped holding the sheet down then slipped under the blanket.

"I.. but.. um." I fumbled. This is going to be a long ass night.

"Jamie." Heidi sighed patting the space next to her rolling her eyes.

I laid down stiff as a board not wanting to move in an indecent way.

Ian clicked the light off when they paused in their making out. "Shit we forgot to get the truck." He blurted in the dark.

"We'll get it in the morning." Wanda whispered then yawned. "I'm sleepy."

After a few hours of thinking about baseball, and gross rotting thing I could hear Ian and Wanda was in deep sleep. I tried not to focus on Heidi. Epic fail.

I did drift off.

I felt Heidi get out of bed, that startled me awake. I looked around it was still dark in the room but I noticed when Heidi opened the bathroom door flicking on the light, that the lumps in Ian and Wanda's bed was gone.

"Is it morning already?" I asked when Heidi laid back down.

"Yeah Ian and Wanda just left." Did they lock the door.. what am I thinking of course they did. She scooted over to me. I looked up, trying to think of gross things again, when I felt her against my side. I noticed that the ceiling was covered in patches of them fake glow in the dark stars, I didn't notice last night because I was focused on not focusing, failing miserably of course.

"Jamie, if you could have one wish come true, for your birthday, anything at all, what would you wish?" Her voice sounded sad so I didn't remind her my birthday was yesterday so I'll play along.

I looked back up at the ceiling, in that moment I had only one thought, one wish, my eyes started to sting, blurring the cluster of the stars over head. "You'll make fun of me."

I felt her shift again then her hand laid on the side of my face, her fingers brushed through the wetness as a tear escaped down the side of my eye trailing to my ear. "Oh Jamie your crying I would never make fun of something that means so much to you, never." She shifted laying her head on my shoulder sliding her hand down resting it on my neck, her arm resting on my chest, I moved my arm wrapping it around her shoulders then my other hand laid on her elbow that lay over my chest. "My wish is probably silly compared to yours then." I felt her shoulders slump taking another deep breath then releasing it. "What do you wish Jamie?" She whispered sending goosebumps over my whole body.

"To be in a memory." I whispered over the lump that formed in my throat, between her closeness, my embarrassment that I was going to admit I'm a stupid kid with the biggest crush on her, and the sudden sadness I may lose her as a friend. She'll probable jump out of bed once I start or out of the room I don't want to lose her as a friend but I can't bottle this up anymore.

"Of being with your family?" I felt her head tilt upwards as if to look at me. "I'm sorry I should have known not to ask something like that... I've just been thinking... being selfish." Heidi mumbled the last part tilting her head back down.

"I do miss my family but.." I swallowed over the dry lump that kept growing in my throat. "I.. I don't want you to be mad... Please I wont say anything about it again after today if it upsets you for me to tell you." I squeezed her shoulder and elbow once taking a deep breath. It's now or never.

"Why would I get upset? It's your wish Jamie." I felt her shrug against me and her head tilt back up.

"Remember when we use to lay in the corn garden and we would talk?" I ask taking a deep breath then looking back up at the blurred stars. I felt her head turn up as if to look at the ceiling to. "I miss you. Us. The way we were." My voice gave out to a whisper. Heidi gasped next to me I felt her suddenly raise, I released her shoulder and elbow. Please don't go. "I'm sorry Heidi I didn't mean to... If you just want me to think of you as a friend and nothing more I w..."

"Jamie." She stopped my apology. Her hand was back on the side of my face, her other under my other arm, I felt her hair over me seconds before her lips crashed into mine. I wrapped an arm around her ribcage and back holding her tight, my other hand wandered across her face to the back of her head. My heart stuttered and jumped sending shocks through my veins. Her lips parted, I felt her breath and tasted her tongue, the flood gates opened, I was crying against her mouth. I turned my head keeping my face against hers holding her tighter to me shaking with the sudden emotions the memory and her kissing me dug up.

She pulled us into a sitting position in the middle of the bed. "I've been in love with you for too long Jamie." She whispered in my ear. "Longer then I should have." She cried with a bit of an odd laugh, tucking her head in the crook of my neck and shoulder.

We just kissed admitting loving each other, and are holding each other in the middle of a real bed and I'm not having to talk my lower half down with thoughts of baseball and maggot filled potatoes. What the hell?

"I can never thank you enough for choosing me to come on this raid with you." She raised her head, sliding her hands along my neck, one hand her fingers tangling in the back of my hair the other holding my jaw brushing a thumb along my chin, kissing me more passionately then the first kiss. Spoke to soon. Hairy butts, infected butt boils, gnarled chewed up brown toenails, rotten chicken guts. I may want her this way so bad it hurts but I damn sure am not taking advantage of her like she owed me this way. "Thank you Jamie." She placed a soft sweet kiss on my neck, then another a little way above that one. Hairy butt... Oh who am I kidding, who cares why...

Clothes stared flying.

Lets just say before, Ian and Wanda got back, Heidi was in need of Doc. Embarrassingly I found out too late I should have had 'the talk' with Jared, he may have warned me there is a difference in... um force and speed.. used and work up to, between the real thing and the late night runs into the darkness of the game room or latrine. She was a little pissed at my moment of brain detachment. I have gashes on my back and teeth marks on my shoulder she still wont let Doc heal. Good news the black eye and the fractured jaw is healed, that actually came from Ian, he thought I was ...um with Heidi... against her will. That is where the embarrassment came in. Buck naked getting pulled away and my face punched in at the same time. So much for a romantic first time.