Actions Speak Louder than Words

I sighed and tapped my foot repeatedly on the ground. I didn't want to be here. Never in my life did I intend to grow the way I had. However, I couldn't change this part of me. And since I was going through these abnormal times, I resolved myself to accept change...and somehow, through that, I found who I wished to be. Well not really..But I was pretty close! All I knew was that I didn't want to have these feelings coming, along with the physical changes. So I promised myself I would let the physical things—that I could not change—slide. But anything I felt—for anyone—I could definitely change. So I would shut out any attempts of my hormones to ambush me.

I would crush the roots of my feelings.

I looked around quickly and stole into the store. I looked left and right nervously, as to make sure no one around was someone that knew me.

"Are you looking for something in particular?" I heard suddenly, jumping out of my skin.

I turned to find a girl with a cute smile and huge blue eyes. She was gazing at me intently, as if to search my reasons for coming.

I turned completely toward her and scratched the back of my head, "Well...I-"

The girls eyes slid down to my chest and then back up, "Your first time?"

I looked down at my own bosom and then laughed, "I suppose so.."

"You don't seem like the girl for push ups," She said, taking my measure, "Sports bras are best for now, but you may have to come back pretty soon." She explained, getting up real close to my chest and stared at my diminutive breasts. Some how, this all felt awkward.


In the Game

"Whoa!" I said, gazing around at the sparkling new world around me. The walls were now painted a floral, sparkling light blue, and the floor boards were nearly bleached to match the plantation crowning at the end of the walls. The ceiling was also crowned to fit the ground's crowing and the whole serving area, as well as the kitchen, was redone with new equipment, tables, chairs, decorations, and menus. Besides the new money surplus from modeling, Maids' Healing had been flourishing quite well; enough to support a new restaurant upgrade! Not only were the rooms larger, we had a completely new addition!

"Welcome," Ichigo began, "To the Maids' Healing employee lounge!"

She opened the wooden door to a pink room covered with plush couches and soft chairs, accompanied by a fire along with other warm colored stuff. I took in the fluffy wonderland for a quick moment before I heard and loud groan and gazed over the couch that was facing away from the door, toward the fireplace. There, laying curled up in a ball, was Toshiro.

He repeated over and over again, his eyes wide in dismay, "So..messy...!"

I jumped up when a hand landed on my shoulder suddenly, "Don't worry!"

I turned back to see those blue eyes staring at me and I turned completely around to begin, "Oh Hairo, you're already here?" I asked, surprised.

"You act as if you're unhappy to see me," he laughed.

"As long as we have the lounge, Hairo can come in earlier and not have to risk being seen by our customers," Ichigo explained.

"Wait, you've been making him come after closing time because you wanted to hide him?" I questioned.

"Trust me sweetheart, it's for your own good," She laughed, before winking at me and walking out of the doorway, "Oh but ol' Ichigo can't always protect you," She began walking away, "I wonder who she's gonna choose.." She mumbled to herself before disappearing into the dinning area.

I turned back to Hairo and he shrugged, obviously not getting what Ichigo was saying as well.

"So what's up with Toshiro?" I asked.

"We just covered the reproductive system while you were out," he began, "He asked some very interesting questions," Hairo laughed, "he's so curious it's unhealthy."

"Really," I smiled, "at least he has something he's adapting too as well." My voice lingered with every word. My mind was buzzing with what I was going to try to do today. I had promised myself I would always try not to let the mental and hormonal aspects of my change affect me. I was at least a little happy to see that something about Toshiro was also changing. And since he seemed to be quickly developing the aspects of his age, which he program did not fill, I wanted to believe that his coming to fit into his age would lead him to noticing that his 'experiments' with me and the 'feelings' he would say he had for me, were nothing but something to fade with time—a puppy love, one which was programed and fake. And one that was certainly too good for me. Even someone who did not exist, did not seem like the person for me. And when I thought about it, I was kinda depressing.

"Did you know that females bleed every month!" Toshiro said suddenly, rearing up from out of his shocking trance.

I blushed suddenly by the awkwardness of the topic, and Hairo sighed and put his palm to his head, "So we need to go over more speech etiquette with him?" Hairo asked.

I nodded slowly, eyes wide from Toshiro's discovery.

"And did you know that the male excretes a-" Hairo ran over to Toshiro and covered his month suddenly,

"I think his brain is overloading," I laughed, but then started to wonder off toward the topic of change. It was now so very foreign..

Hairo stared at me for a second and began, "Hey Karin.."

I snapped out of my daydream and looked toward him.

Hairo lifted his hand from Toshiro's mouth and Toshiro filled in, "You look kinda distant.." Kinda? He even knows how to use that word? His modern dialect was definitely mastered now. It had only been a few weeks too!

I laughed for a second and began, "Do I?.."

"You never laugh so much either," Hairo began, "is something the matter?"

Suddenly I burst out, "WHAT? Can't I laugh without being said It's abnormal? Can I just feel what I want?" I exclaimed.

Toshiro reared back in the couch and fell over at my yell, already drunk from information and eyes wide. Hairo blinked twice, wondering what he did wrong. But after I vented what was inside of me, I huffed out some air, and then left the room, slamming to door behind me.

Just then, the announcer proclaimed, "It's time for the most popular talk on REM's forums to come alive! Tonight we will have our first occurrence of weather at the hours of 6:00pm to 8:00pm. It will be a slight rain fall that will be programed, along with other weather, into REM's system. There will be, from this day forward, weather that you can feel, taste, touch, smell, and see! A special thanks to our hard working staff that is always working so hard to improve our coding!"

As I hid my face in my hair and began to walk away, I heard Toshiro burst out, "Oh I remember reading something about weather!-"

What was going on with me now? Why did I just snap?


"Today is a themed day?" I said with cold eyes. I could not believe my ears.

"Yep! Today is animal day!~Nyaa!" Ichigo said with her white cat ears twitching and her whiskers flapping up and down. "We have gotten enough money to have themed serving days! Today, everyone gets a morphing potion and has to put up with their animal transformation all day! This is for our customers everyone, so remember to play your animal well!~Nyaa!" Ichigo said with a wink.

I shook my head, "No, I've already had a bad experience with morphing potions—I won't do it!"

Ichigo handed me the potion I was to drink and began casually, "Drink it or we'll get Toshiro to make you. Really, your weakness is so lame~Nyaa," She laughed, walking away uncaring.

I blushed and began, "H-how did you know about that?"

"Oh please, I know everything darling~Nyaa," Ichigo laughed.

"So how did it go?" Yuzu asked, grabbing a potion off of the lounge's coffee table and preparing to drink it. She opened the cap and put the bottle to her lips as I began quietly, "He made me eat a piece of candy...No big deal, right?"

"Well how did he do it?~Nyaa," Ichigo asked.

I thought about telling the two all-time-matchmakers what happened. But I just shook my head and didn't tell them for fear that Yuzu and Ichigo would think up something to make my promise even harder to resolve. I wanted to uphold my resolve to crush my rising feelings. I thought that my feelings honestly interpreted everything negatively.

"He's gonna call me Karin.." I said, "That's all.."

Yuzu gagged up on her potion for a second, but scarfed it down afterward. She the wiped her mouth away and began, "What? No one but Hairo calls you Karin."

"Really, is he that special?" Ichigo began.

"No!" I interrupted both of them, "I.." My voice died out as both there eyes set on me, waiting for an excuse, "I just don't know what I can do..I can't seem to reach my resolve anymore.." I said finally.

"Just because change is hard, doesn't mean that it isn't good for you," Ichigo laughed.

"Now drink that potion," Yuzu encouraged.

Today, not many people were on shift because of the exams. Yuzu and I had our exams postponed because out homeroom teacher was sick. Today, we had to juggle all of the newly upgraded cafe. And in turn, Ichigo would help out while Hairo tutored Toshiro in the Lounge.

I shriveled my nose and blinked my eyes a few times before finally taking a deep breath and walking out before Ichigo and Yuzu. There, they both started at me wide eyed.

"Is it that bad~pyon?" I asked, suddenly capping my hands over my mouth in surprise. I began to say something again when all that came out was, "~pyon!" like a barrage of hiccups.

Yuzu and Ichigo smiled in a strangely bubbly way before dragging me out with them into the dinning area.

"Yes, right away, sir!~pyon" I began, rushing over to the kitchen counter and entering another order.

"Excuse me miss, would you mind giving me a refill?" A woman asked from her table.

"Oh, of course! It'll be right out!~pyon," I said with a nervous smile.

"Order up!" Our NPC cook said. And all of a sudden, all 10 of my orders came out on one huge platter.

I balanced the individual, smaller platters, carefully. I was sure to tread carefully as well.

"Hey, did you hear that Kurai-Hime is rumored to have a second love interest?" Someone whispered to another.

"No way? Is it another hot guy?" a person responded.

Suddenly, the shock of hearing that comment made my feet slip. And being preoccupied, I could only spend my time falling to think, Oh crap, were is the food going to land?

Then suddenly, I heard a slight clack as my eyes closed tight and I found myself still supported by something behind my back. I opened my eyes and hiccuped again, "~Pyon?" As I set eyes on the brown hair and blue eyes that had always supported me. He was holding me up like a soccer ball, on the flat of his foot, one hand struggling to balance the food I had dropped.

"You're a lot more clumsy with those bunny ear. Though you do look cute," He laughed, carefully setting the platter onto some customers' table and lifting me up with his same hand.

"You're not supposed to come out of the lounge,~Pyon" I said, my face suddenly growing red from the realization that I was the damsel in distress again. My floppy white ears growing more lax as I submitted with my blushing.

"So I'm supposed to just sit there and watch you fall?" he said, his blue gaze suddenly turning intense.

I looked away and muttered, "Don't be so flashy in front of everyone.." I couldn't find the right words to say..Why was it that I was just setting myself up? Could I possibly even know what I wanted from my growing passions and perversions?

"So then I have the right to look flashy when we're alone?" he questioned, pulling me closer to him so that now my nose almost touching his.

I started to turn scarlet red as I looked around at everyone staring at us. I remember the promise I made to myself, the change I had a resolve to make, and without noticing, I gripped on tight to Hairo's shirt and pulled on it tight, shoving him down to where he was.

"You need to stop egging me on~Pyon," I whispered to him, before pressing my lips against his.

His eyes widened and everyone in the room gasped as I suddenly felt as though it didn't matter what the world thought—What anyone thought—as long as my desires were satisfied. I was sure to take in everything, the softness of his lips, the quiet pacing of his heart, and the steady changes in his passion as he turned from surprise to acceptance. And then, when he kissed me back with the same intensity, I felt the very same thing I had looked for with Toshiro. That spin tingling sensation that chills you to your vary being..Only this one was hot. So very beautifully warm and yet shockingly stinging. It was really nice..And for the first time I realized..That it was pleasurable.

I pulled away from him, his eyes still wide, and I let go of his shirt, "Listen, there's been all this talk that I'm dating Toshiro,~Pyon" I said, finally venting my real anger—anger that I had toward the public from the very first time Toshiro and I were framed in a teen magazine, "but this guy is my boyfriend, so get it straight!~Pyon"

And even though I knew now that I had successfully switched away from Toshiro, I still didn't feel any better about myself mentally..

Someone finally spoke after awhile, "Hey..Isn't that CrimsonDragon?"

Then another girl squealed, "AHH! It's REM's super hot top player..That girl has him too?"

"I told you you shouldn't have let him out!~Nyaa" Ichigo laughed from the kitchen.


I knew that the next day Toshiro would have something to say to me. And sure enough, he pulled me over and began, "Listen, I thought I told you to stay away from him."

"Why? Just because you have a bad feeling about him?'" I snap, and this seemed to take him off guard.

"News flash, the emotion is called jealousy. You should have already learned that. So don-"

My voice cut short when Toshiro rammed me up against the wall and stared at me with intent eyes, "You should be more afraid of me, now that I know your weakness," He began.

I started to blush from the recollection of the candy corn event. I didn't think Toshiro would recognize it as a weakness..

I averted his eyes and whispered quietly, "Just leave me alone.."

"Is it something I said?" he asked, trying to catch my gaze.

"No.." I replied.

"Is it something I did?" He asked.

I shook my head. No, I couldn't be around him! No matter what he just makes everything come out. Why? Why is that? I could feel the words coming up though I didn't want them to..

"Then why did you do that to my teacher?" He asked.

And the things I had bottled up inside me simply came out. Even if I tried to cap these feelings, I figured it would have all just come spilling out like it was just about to..But if I exhaust myself, maybe then my mind will be satisfied and I can better fulfill my resolve.

I snagged Toshiro by his collar and brought his face so close up to mine that I could smell the books he had been pouring over in his studies. I closed my eyes and said in a whisper, "Everything about you is so uncontrollable, so annoying." I began, "I can't take it! You're not real! You're just...You're just a programing; I can't feel anything for you!" I exclaimed.

What was I saying? No wait, please stop the words. I don't want to say any of these things..I just want to...Why is it that I don't even know what I want anymore?

"But I want everything about you..." I said, my voice lingering, "That's why I hate you..That's why I'm afraid.."

I had to see his expression, so I looked up only once to meet his gaze. And at this point, the words just kept coming out, regardless of whether I contemplated them or not.

"I don't want to change! These feelings are a nuisance—You're a nuisance!" I yelled, "So please, as a tribute to your former master, promise me," I took a deep, shuttering breath in.

"Don't you ever come near me again!"

And the words came out as fast as a child eats candy. Uncontrollably. Selfishly. Unthinkably. And without knowing it, I had just released what I was feeling all this time.

Fear.


Out of Game

I couldn't help it, although I knew soccer practice was canceled today because of the weather, I needed to vent, I had been looking forward to expressing my frustration and confusion. So alone, I went out to the soccer field with my ball slung over my shoulders. It was just like in grade school, when I always used to play by myself. It was always a time to think back then. But now, that's another normality that had faded with these changing times.

On this wet field, putridly stained with the smell of bitter wet grass, I was completely honest with myself. I had to figure out the root causes for my outburst. I had to find my goal—my real goal—in all of this and then act upon it with confidence.

But today, I had merely slipped up and just made a big fool of myself. I didn't know what I was doing..I probably got myself a bunch of female enemies from making Hairo my boyfriend...And I probably hurt Toshiro.

I slammed my foot into the soccer ball and sent it flying to the goal, "Who cares! What I did back there might have actually been a good thing," I exclaimed angrily while thinking, After all, Toshiro doesn't exist. And by having the resolve to cut him off, I've finally gotten rid of any way I can make a fool of myself even more. Because, let's face it, he was falling for me. I was falling for him. And I could never let that happen.

I ran up to get my soccer ball and I held it up to plant my foot on its round surface. It was sent flying back to the other side of the field. And as I walked back to the other side, I contemplated my reasons behind my action today.

Maybe it really was my subconscious, and being with Hairo was what I really wanted. Or was it, that I was just trying to get at Toshiro, to maybe test him to see if he'd come to hate me from any reason. No, he just continued to ask what he did wrong. He assumed he was at fault. Like a perfect guy should do. Like an NPC should do..

Or maybe even, I was just running away from my change.

I stopped in mid step to think over this discovery.

Why? Was I running from it because of fear, like I said to Toshiro. It wouldn't be farfetched to assume that a tomboy would be scared of growing into anything but a boy. What would happen then? Would I give up soccer..Would the boys get distracted and Hairo would have to kick me off the team?

So then, is that why I wanted Hairo to be my boyfriend? With him in my pocket, I could be assured that he would never kick me off the soccer team for any reason.

But what were all of these things getting at. What was my subconscious trying to tell me.

"Ah! This is so frustrating!" I exclaimed, plopping down on my butt and looking up at the purple-blue sky. The sun was setting. Quite a beautiful sight.

"Those two guys are such idiots anyway," I laughed to myself, looking up at the Northern star which was just making its appearance in the sky. And some how, I felt my eyes water, "I'm not even worth their time.."

That was it! My eyes widened as a tear drizzled down my right side. I was afraid. Afraid because I didn't want to let them down. All these new feelings were too fast for me! All I wanted was a time to get used to them. So with Toshiro away and Hairo already established as my boyfriend, the two might have been a little more lax on the constant romancing.

I laughed suddenly, in a broken cry, "I just needed some time! This whole things was just...Wow! I'm so clueless I can't even read my own actions!" I brush the tears from my eyes and giggled, "Even talking to myself helped.."

Now, I felt so much better! Less pressured, less stifled. Now I knew that I wasn't trying to crush any sources of my feelings..But I was just afraid of how they'd grow. And how the ones who loved me would react. A lovely, far better intention that crushing the first loves of two boys. Rather, it was an intention that was more like me.

And somehow, I seemed to find the light in all of this. Finally I found who I used to be and who I wanted to be, shinning through all of these signals and mind games.

I let out a big puff of air and saw my breath, in a huff of hot-frost-like air coming from my mouth. And for the first time I was cold. Really cold. I noticed the climate of the outside world. It was November. So the cold was just starting to burn my cheeks and frostbite my nose.

I sat up suddenly from the damp field which was covered with cold, chilling water.

"How the hell can you come out here dressed like that?" I turned to find someone, a few yards away, staring at me with uninterested eyes. Two brown eyes and spiky orange hair. A sweatshirt and jeans.

"Ichi-nii?" I asked.

"You know Yuzu wouldn't have let you come out if she knew that soccer practice was canceled. You really worried her, you know," he began, treading up to me.

"You were so distracted you even wore shorts out in this weather. What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing anymore," I said smiling, "I think I finally figured everything out."

Ichi-nii stopped and smirked to himself, "Just like my sister to find her own way of doing things. And here I thought you needed help with something."

He extended his hand out to me, and I smiled and let him lift me up.

"Now come on, before you catch a cold," he said.

Somehow I felt as though everything I did was so much more free, as if I could finally see beyond whatever cage I was in.

Then suddenly, a single drop fell from the sky, like an alligator tear. It landed right beside my foot and left a huge print in the grass. And in an instant, the sky dawned darker as the night lights were shrouded by thundering clouds, pouring with frostbitten rain.

"Perfect timing," Ichi-nii said, taking the small umbrella, hanging from his belt, and popping it over my head, so that the rain was merely cackling against the stretched rubber. Ichigo handing me the umbrella and opened another for himself.

"What do you mean, perfect timing?" I laughed, the rain beginning to blow with the wind and making me seem to find my umbrella useless, "We didn't beat the rain at all," I yelled as the gusts and thunder grew louder. Ichi-nii laughed and started to run for home as he began, "It's never about beating anything. Winning or losing is not the point. It's how you play the game."

The gusts subsided slightly as a cloud passed over that provided only pelting rain and cold fragments of ice.

"What does that have to do with the rain?" I asked, slowing down with Ichigo so that we could tread carefully in this rain.

"Rain will always come," Ichi-nii said, "But your memories in it have to be happy."

"That way, when it comes again, you'll always associate it with a positive feeling," he explained.

"Is that so.." I asked, my cleats filling with water as I continued to walk on the flooded side walk. It was so cold I began to feel numb from everything, but we were almost home so I thought I could stick it out. I laughed as I recollected what I had done with Hairo and Toshiro. And for the first time, I didn't find it a pressuring embarrassment, but merely an interesting challenge to fix. When Hairo came to tutor Toshiro tomorrow, I'd apologize to him. The same to Toshiro, but I would still ask them to stay away for awhile.

The suddenly, I stopped, "No..Today's.."

"Sorry Ichi-nii, I've got to go!" I said, turning around and sprinted the opposite way from home, my feet splashing up the gallons of water along the ground. Ichigo didn't stop me, he just continued walking in the other direction, his hand in his pocket. And under my breath, I thanked him for it.

I remembered now, the first rain was coming to REM. And after everything that I had done to Toshiro—I didn't want him to have the slightest chance of being unhappy for the first witness of weather in his world.

I slammed open the back doors to the cafe, my key jingling faintly as my drenched body brought with it gusts of rain and sleet.

The dark cafe made the thunder outside seem even more scary. And once, even, as I was searching for the light, a crack of a whip brought the cafe to a shuttering shake. The whip of thunder made me wonder just slightly, if I were to put my head set on, if something bad might happen to my body this late at night.

But I didn't have time to worry about that.


In the Game

"Player Kurai-Hime has logged in!" the announcer said as I materialized in front of Toshiro. He looked at me with wide eyes and I asked him faintly, "Why aren't you out in the rain?"

"Without one of the maids, I can't leave by myself," he said, before giving me the cold shoulder and leaving the room. Even using contractions now? He was definitely learning fast.

Everything in the cafe was dark and the eery sound of the drizzling outside made me feel as though I was locked in an insane asylum.

"You actually have to stay alone here...Every day?" I began.

"No big deal, really," he replied coldly, sitting at a table next to the window and leaning up against it so that he could feel the ticking of the rain drops to the glass, "Why are you here anyway?"

"What's up with you?" I exclaim, suddenly.

Toshiro jumps out of his skin and stares at me for a moment.

"Listen, you!" I began in frustration, "I'm here because I'm trying to help you! Will you quit being so snappy!"

And for the first time, I saw something come across Toshiro's face that made him come even closer to being real—he had changed from what I had told him. Because I hurt him. And it made him angry. I remember telling him only to say OW! Whenever he gets hurt. And yet, he was self teaching himself how to vent his emotions. Or at least, he was starting to become a less composed, perfect NPC, and starting to become like a real player!

"It's hilarious that you think you can get mad at me for no reason! I'm staying away from you! I'm doing what you told me to do!" He exclaimed. And I felt now, that he was starting to blur the line between NPC and human.

My eyes narrowed as I examined the expression on his face. And I realize that I really did hurt him. What he was expressing was and anger toward my opinion of him. It was an anger that I wanted to not breed a tainted heart. Suddenly, I just wanted him to be the innocent, clueless NPC I first met. The more I seemed to let him be taught, the more he seemed real. Was that a good thing for me, or bad?

I walked up to him and snagged his wrist. His eyes widened as I pulled him up and shoved open the front door to the cafe, still dragging him along behind me. I was so frustrated with him. The bell tied to the door jingled slightly as the light drizzle outside occasionally landed on its surface. Since REM was made in the west, it was still warm over there. So the rain was fit for summer. Warm and comforting. I stepped onto the light alabaster pavement of the streets of REM and was surprised to feel one warm prick to my skin, and another, that dripped down my skin. The feeling of rain was programed perfectly. And after I completely brought Toshiro out and the door to the cafe shut behind us, Toshiro could only hold his hands out and watch the drops fall onto them. He'd look up at the sky and saw nothing my gray clouds.

"This is rain?" He asked.

I let go of his wrist and turned around. I wanted to slap him so bad from getting angry at me. He was so frustrating now. But instead, I made myself shove my head down and bow as respectfully as I could. Toshiro averted his gave from the rain, for a moment, and gazed at me in surprise.

"Gome," I began, "I just wanted some time to get used to these new feelings. I didn't want to hurt your's. But I feel, while I'm adjusting, I need you to give me some distance." I explained.

He was silent for awhile before beginning finally, "I'm sorry as well..I...I don't know what's happening, but the more I know, the more I seem to be melding with my auto system," he began.

I was surprised, looking up. I forgot all about his auto system because it hadn't shown up in ages.

He touched his finger out to the rain, and I felt my drenched hair and cloths feel like nothing as I gazed at his soaked being—something I had never set eyes on.

"I can accept that you want space, but I cannot forgive you for your words. Somewhere inside, it still hurts. I don't know why," He began.

I turned sour as I heard these words. And I knew it because I knew what it was like to be hurt verbally—the wound never really does heal. That's why I prefer actions over words. Because physical scares heal. Mental ones, they never really fade away.

My eyes dimmed as I bowed again, "I understand."

"But I don't." Toshiro said suddenly. He lifted me up off the ground and carried me back into the cafe, popping me down on the lounge couch.

He peered over me seriously and scanned all over me, "Why is it that I can't help but think about you. Why am I hurt so much by your words? Why is it that I still want to please you anyway?" He asked. "What makes you so special?"

My mind reverted back to when he asked the very same question; the first time we met. I felt suddenly, so very hot. And at the same time, I felt chillingly cold from my soaked hair and cloths. He was, as well, drenched to the bone, and it was a dazzling sight for some reason. Rain seemed to suit him. It seemed to make him sparkle. I was at least glad that I came here to make his first rain meaningful.

"I will forgive you, if you give me something," He asked.

And suddenly, I could feeling everything. The plush couch on my back, the pillows on my side, Toshiro's arm beginning to wrap behind me waist, his face drawing closer to my neck. I tried to push him away as I winced, "No, wait—you promised to say away!"

"I know," he whispered near my ear, "But just this one this. Then I will leave you alone forever."

Somehow I seemed to tense even more as his hand began to travel up my thigh and his mouth began to touch my neck.

What had he been taught?

"Don't be so tense, Karin," He said, pausing in his motion. I could feel his wet skin up against mine, still cold and slippery, but yet still warm. By the mentioning of my name, I relaxed ever so slightly, which was a fault I shouldn't have made. For a second I thought, oh what's the problem? It's just a game anyway. This isn't actually happening.

And as he continued, I started to tense up against by the looked in his eye. But no matter what, he was just too strong, too intoxicating, to pull away. He held me as tight as a child holds their favorite toy. But then, as I felt him feeling up my leg and his other hand unbuttoning my blouse, I knew his intentions. I seriously wanted to just stop and slap him. But my drenched body was nearly paralyzed. I neither had the strength nor the determination to push him away. Because, let's face it, I'd already hurt him. And I didn't want him to hold a grudge. If at all possible, I wanted him to forgive me.

But I also couldn't fight this off..Because a part of me, the sick part of me, wanted it.

He whispered in my ear, as silently and as mysteriously as ever, "I'll show you what I learned,"

And in an instant, I really did feel like I was in an insane asylum. Because I felt insane.

For letting him show me.


Author's notes:

Hey ya'll! We got really close to my goal of 100 reviews! But I don't think all of you read the author's notes because..Well...A lot of you didn't go back and review for the chapters you skipped over. As for you new readers, I happen to see quite a few of you just waiting until the final chappy to review. I'd like it, even you anonymous reviewers, to take the time to review each individual chapter.

Thanks for the reviews guys! But I think you're all playing me, lolz, because everyone but one person completely ignored Hairo's introduction! What do ya'll think about him? Good? Bad? REVIEW AND TELL ME!

Love ya,

~*RukiaRocks*~

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