AN: This is officially AU since last night's episode. But didn't it rock last night? I so wasn't anticipating that twist!
Dean battened down the hatches so to speak, and he kicked everyone out of the room. He was going to bring his brother back to him, he was going to make him see that what was before him was real, not another elaborate trick designed by Lucifer to torture and to harm.
"Sammy." He said as he closed the curtains in the room. "Sammy." He tried again turning to his brother. Sam's eyes darted from Dean's form the moment he realized that Dean was looking at him. Dean stayed rooted in his spot. Because, people coming at you, whether it's one or twenty, make you jumpy right after you pop our of the hot box.
"You aren't Dean." Sam finally said.
"I am. It's me Sammy, in the flesh."
"Lucifer has tried this trick before. It won't work this time."
"What happened in the trick the last time?" Dean asked calmly trying desperately to figure out a way to cut through the fear and the panic to get to Sam long enough to establish that he is in fact topside, and that he was really…well him.
Sam tightened the ball he had made out of himself and shook his head quickly once, and then did it again, and then he put his forehead against his knees and rocked himself a little.
"No. No. No. huh-uh. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not helping you trick me."
Dean closed is eyes and prayed to God for a way to help his brother. He opened his eyes and saw Sammy's eyes peeking out from over his knees. "Sam. You've been topside for almost two years, your body has been safe and sound with me for a year. I want you to think, that big brain is full of memories of the last year. Try to get to them."
"Memories can be planted. They can be made to serve your purposes."
The sarcastic answer was on the tip of his tongue, but he knew that was the wrong thing to say, and for one of the first times in his life he actually used caution when speaking. "Sammy, this isn't a trick. I can't plant memories, I can't wipe memories, I am just a man. I'm just your brother."
Sam started to shake, it was a small vibration, imperceptible to someone who hadn't lived with Sam his entire life. But Dean saw it, saw that Sam's anxiety level was rising, Dean didn't know how to lower it, didn't know how to make Sam feel better.
"Hell is scary." Dean tried. "I can't even imagine what your time with Lucifer was like. But I understand the disorientation when you get back, I was so scared that you were just one more illusion that would rip me apart when I saw you for that first time. It took me a while to fully accept that you were real, that I was real, that Bobby was real, that the car was actually my car and not something that would fold in on me and eat me whole."
"They did that to you too?" Dean's eyebrows almost met his hairline with surprise, and he made the drastic mistake of moving closer to Sam too quickly. Sam screamed loud. And scrambled onto the floor and used the bed as a fort to keep Dean at bay. Dean cursed himself.
"Sammy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"Go away! Go away!" Sam screamed. "Lucifer! I know what you're trying to do! It isn't going to work! I won't break! I won't! I won't start the apocalypse again! You may have tricked Dean and me once! But it won't happen this time!" And Sam honest to God whimpered. And that sound made Dean's knees weak and his heart physically hurt, Sam hadn't made that noise in a long time, long before he became the ginormous man in front of him, long before he knew what monsters were, and that noise being pulled from his 29 year old brother made Dean's insides twist and turn. Dean closed his eyes and bit his cheeks, and did his absolute best to keep himself from crying.
"Sammy, it's really me." Dean said softly. Not only didn't he want to scare his little brother any more than he already was with his loud powerful gruff voice, but he also didn't trust his voice enough not to crack when he spoke.
"No. No. It's not. No! My brother is fine. My brother is safe! My brother…" and tears started to track down Sam's face. "My brother is topside! He's not stuck here….please…please…don't hurt me. Please quit using his face." And Sam's face crumpled and the tears free flowed down his face.
Dean, licked his lips, looked up trying to keep the tears in his eyes, and ran a hand down his face. He swallowed thickly.
"Okay, okay Sammy. I'll go, just for a little bit. You'll be safe in here. I promise, no one will hurt you…"
"GO AWAY!" Sam shouted with all of what was left of his voice. His hands digging into the bedding.
"I'm just going to go to the door." He said and put his hands up in the I'm harmless gesture. Dean slowly moved around the bed, and as he did Sam scrambled on top of the bed. And then when Dean got to the other side of the bed, Sam was on the floor peeking from the other side of the bed.
Dean turned away from Sam and went out of the door, and as soon as his left foot was over the threshold of the door he heard Sam scrambling up on the hardwood floor, and as soon as Dean's right foot was over the threshold, the door slammed behind him, and then the frantic process of shoving furniture against the shut door began. Dean leaned against the wall, felt the dresser being shoved against the door, and slid down into a crouch, and put his own head in between his knees, and pulled at his hair.
"God help him." Dean mumbled as tears started to flow.
