Tommy was sitting on the plane next to Adam flying to god knows where. Too many places in too short of a time made him forget where they were and where they were going sometimes. He was sitting back with his eyes closed listening to his iPod when he swore he could hear someone calling his name. He opening his eyes and pulled out one of the earpieces to find Adam leaning forward looking at him.
"What?"
"You've got a stupid grin on your face." Adam giggled slightly and sat back, still looking at Tommy. "Are you going to tell me why?"
Tommy blushed slightly and averted his eyes from Adam, trying to hold back the smile that he didn't even know was there.
"He got laid last night. Be grateful you didn't have to hear everything through the walls," Longineu piped up from the seat behind them, laughing.
"Shit man, you heard that?" Tommy spun around in his seat with a look of shock on his face.
"Dude, the woman was practically screaming. I'd be surprised if the whole hotel didn't hear you." Longineu was laughing more now, seeing Tommy's expression change from shock to embarrassment. "Obviously you did well, congrats."
Tommy slunk back in his seat and looked at Adam. Adam seemed to be thinking about what he just heard. "Well there you have it. Happy now?" Adam looked at Tommy with a grin on his face.
"Yeah, you seem less frustrated now. You were starting to drive some of us crazy. I guess it must have been sexual frustration." Adam laughed as Tommy nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.
Tommy began listening to his music again, thinking about Avalon was hard. He knew that if he could have, he would have probably stayed with her. It was unrealistic though, seeing as she didn't even live anywhere near him, and it would have just ended disastrously. That idea made him appreciate what he did get to have with her, even if it was only one night.
Adam sat quietly beside Tommy, sneaking glances at him every now and then. He was uncertain as to why the idea of Tommy having sex with a random girl last night made him a little jealous. They were just friends, and everything has been fine. He found it comforting before though, knowing that he always got those little kisses on and off stage. He always took them in a friendship kind of way, but the idea that someone got more than that was a bit unnerving. Obviously he has to figure it out, decipher his thoughts and determine what it means so that he can learn to deal with it.
Once they landed, Adam had a couple interviews before sound check. He told the band he would meet them later, and as always, Tommy came up and gave him a little peck on the lips and said they would meet up later at the concert hall.
A flip went through Adam's stomach with that little gesture from Tommy. Now he was really confused. That hadn't happened since the AMAs. He took off to handle the interviews, deciding that moment wasn't the right time to think about it.
"Alright everyone, let's give this crowd their money's worth!" Adam said to the band as they got ready to head out on stage. He looked at Tommy briefly and saw him fiddling with his shirt before he looked up to see Adam watching him.
"Come on, we're going to wreck this place." Tommy winked at Adam and motioned for them to get on stage as he walked over to pick up his bass.
Again, his stomach fluttered. What the fuck is going on here. It's just Tommy. Pretty, little Tommy. Fuck, I need to relax. Adam walked over to his position to start the show.
When Tommy walked over to Adam during "Down the Rabbit Hole," Adam ran his hands down Tommy's chest, with a little more oomph than normal. He could tell that Tommy noticed because he turned back to face Adam after and he was slightly blushing and a grin on his face.
Fever was always a spectacular event for the fans, but this time Adam was a little unsure how he was going to react when Tommy was so close to him. The song started and Adam began "There he goes, my baby walks so slow. Sexual tic-tac-toe. Yeah I know we both know, it isn't time. No.. But could you be m-mine." At this point Adam was to kiss Tommy, but instead he stood there looking at him, almost in a daze. Tommy noticed and leaned forward. Adam gave him a little kiss on the lips and watched as Tommy smirked at him and walked back so Adam could go meet up with the dancers.
What just happened there? Did he almost forget to kiss me? We always kiss. Why is he so distracted tonight? Tommy was confused as he continued to play his bass.
After the show, everyone got ready to head over to the hotel. They were staying there for two nights so they had the luxury of putting off getting on a bus until they leave.
Everyone slid into the limo, waiting for Adam to arrive so they could leave. Tommy sat, talking with the others, but still had thoughts of Adam and his behaviour earlier on his mind. Once Adam arrived, he barely looked at Tommy, which was odd, because they would normally talk about the performance and people's reactions to the show. Now he knew there was definitely something going on. He just had to wait until they arrived at the hotel so he could bring it up.
Why can't I even look at him right now? I want to talk to him about the show like we always do, but my stomach is doing backflips. I need to get a hold of myself. He is probably already suspecting something.
Adam went into the hotel first to check in and organize the rooms while everyone else grabbed their luggage. Once everyone was gathered in the lobby, Adam handed out room keys.
Tommy made sure to take note of what room Adam was in, so he could stop by after. Everyone headed to their rooms. Most people were sharing rooms, but because of the way things worked out, Tommy and Adam always had their own rooms.
Once Tommy was unpacked and everything, he changed into more comfortable clothes and decided to head over to see Adam before he fell asleep.
Adam was sitting in his room, trying to figure out his thoughts. He just found out about Tommy sleeping with that girl this morning; how could it change things so drastically in just a few hours? He got up to start putting his clothes in the drawer and organize to make his room a little more, well, Adam-y. It made travelling easier. As he was putting up some pictures on his nightstand, he heard a knock on the door. Oh shit.
"Adam, it's Tommy. You awake?"
Fuck, he did notice. Well, here goes nothing. Adam went and opening the door to find Tommy in a pair of sweats and a Metallica shirt. His face was already clean from the make-up he had on earlier and his hair had been brushed out.
"Hey. You OK? What's up?" Adam asked as he let Tommy into his room.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm more curious about you. You were acting weird today on stage and then later in the limo. Is there something bothering you?" Tommy looked a little concerned as he made himself comfortable sitting on the edge of Adam's bed.
"I was? I didn't mean to. I've just had a few things on my mind."
"Like what?" Tommy looked at Adam when he said that with an eyebrow raised. He was genuinely curious and a little concerned.
"You know I'm a very honest and up-front person. I'm not going to lie to you, but I don't think it's something I want to talk about, right now." Adam took a seat beside Tommy on the bed. His stomach was feeling a little nauseous because of the conversation.
"Adam, you know you can talk to me. I know it has to do with me, because you wouldn't even look at me today in the limo. Plus, you were acting different during the show."
Adam gave a sigh and looked at Tommy. Little fucker is a bit over observant. Maybe if I just tell him, it would be easier to figure it out. Adam continued to look at Tommy, trying to find the words to express what he needed to say.
"Adam, seriously. You can tell me anything."
"It's really fucked up. I don't even know how it happened. After finding out about your little escapade last night, I felt a little jealous. I don't understand it and now I'm just trying to figure out what it means. I'm not trying to push you away or act differently. I guess I've just got to work it out."
Tommy sat there, looking at Adam with a slight look of shock. That was one of the last things he expected to come up when he planned to confront Adam. He took a moment before speaking, unsure of how to respond. Questions were flying through his head, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"Thank you for telling me the truth. I appreciate that. We can talk about it if you want?" Tommy was kind of clearing his mind a bit. It was huge that Adam even admitted something like that to him. But he knew Adam would tell him the truth before he would tell him a lie. He's just that kind of person.
"I don't know what there is to talk about. It just kind of all happened at once. I'm not even sure if jealousy is the right word. I don't know how to describe it. It's something I haven't felt towards you since the AMAs. We've always been great friends since I hired you, and I never had the intention of changing that." Adam was having a bit of trouble coming out this way to Tommy. Tommy was always supportive and open-minded when it came to Adam's sexuality, but he wasn't sure how far that would go if he knew Adam's feelings were changing. Even if those changes weren't something even Adam was ready to face.
Tommy had to take a minute to repeat what he had just heard in his head. More questions just kept appearing. He figured talking about it is better than ignoring it though.
"OK. Um. Wow. Alright, so we obviously need to talk about this. I'm going to start by asking, what did you feel towards me at the AMAs?" Tommy looked at Adam intently. He needed to answer some of these questions in order to get any sense of what Adam was talking about.
Adam fell back on the bed so he was lying down with his feet still on the floor. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Shit, I had to mention the fucking AMAs. "I just had thoughts about what it would be like if you weren't straight. I still wouldn't have the intention of changing anything, and it was a very short period of time that these thoughts even crossed through my mind."
"What exactly do you mean by 'if you weren't straight'?"
"Just that. To be perfectly honest, Tommy, you're my type in pretty much every way except for the straight part. If you weren't straight, I would have tried to convince you to go out with me or something silly like that. Of course, it had to cross my mind at some point, right?"
"I am? I never pegged myself as someone's type before." Tommy laughed a little at that idea. He knew Adam and that this was probably hard for him to discuss, but that's what he likes about him: he'll talk about it, even if it's something he doesn't particularly want to talk about. Back to the questions however, as there were quite a few. "So what's different now?"
Adam knew this was going to come up. He sat up again and looked at Tommy in the eye. He was his type, pretty much perfectly. From his overall style to just how damn pretty he is. Adam likes his boys to be pretty. "To be honest, I don't know. You, ugh.. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this.. You, well, you give me butterflies."
Tommy smiled. How fucking adorable is that. I give this man fucking butterflies. "Seriously?" Tommy looked at Adam and moved closer to him. "Do you have them now?" Why the fuck am I doing this? I slept with Avalon last night, and now I'm testing my ability on giving a man butterflies. There is seriously something wrong with me.
Adam did feel his stomach drop when Tommy moved closer to him, but he chose not to voice that. He was sure Tommy could tell anyways, especially by the smug grin he had on his face after he moved and saw Adam's reaction.
"You do, I can tell." Tommy backed off a little. He was confused as to why he wanted to test that theory in the first place. And he was even more confused as to why he had the urge to kiss Adam. They had done it multiple times before, but it was just out of fun. He knew that if he kissed Adam right now, it would be different, and that scared him.
Adam could tell Tommy was thinking about something. He let him sit there with his thoughts before he spoke. "What are you thinking about?" He eyed Tommy warily, as if trying to read his mind.
Tommy hesitated before he answered, playing with the string on his pants before meeting Adams eyes. "I don't know. I've never been in this situation before. If you could have anything you want from this situation right now, what would it be? Honestly. Put aside the fact that I'm straight. If I wasn't, what would you do right now?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer, and from Adam's reaction to the question, he was almost regretting asking it at all.
"Uh, well.. Hmm.. I don't know. Those are two different questions. I guess the first answer would be, I would want to be closer to you. I would never put pressure on anything and nothing serious, considering we work together. As for right now, I would probably try to kiss you." Adam wasn't looking at Tommy anymore as he spoke the last few words. But Tommy was watching him.
Did he just say he wants to kiss me? He would kiss me, but he won't because I'm straight. This is so fucked up. Why do I want him to? Fuck it, just do it. Nnnnnnow. Tommy lent over and put his hand on Adam's face. Pulling him close, Tommy placed his lips on Adam's. Adam sat there as he let Tommy kiss him. He was confused, but set that aside as he began to kiss him back.
Tommy licked at Adam's bottom lip, and Adam opened his mouth. Tommy slipped his tongue inside and felt Adam push back. The kiss became more passionate as Adam put his hand on the back of Tommy's neck, pulling him closer. After a moment, Adam let Tommy go and looked at him.
Tommy could see Adam studying his face. He looked confused, but he didn't say anything.
"I-I'm sorry, I just, well, I don't know. I wanted to do it." Tommy spluttered the words out. His mind was fuzzy and he wasn't even sure if he was making any sense.
"That's OK. Um, is there anything else we should talk about? Any more questions? I think we need sleep before this night gets any weirder." Adam stood up and walked over to his dresser. He was still covered in make-up so he decided he was going to take a shower; therefore, he needed a change of clothes.
Tommy felt like glue. He couldn't move for a moment, but once Adam was rummaging in his dresser for a change of clothes he knew he had to go. "Alright yeah, we're good for now I think. I'm going to let myself out. Thanks for, uh, telling me everything." Yep, definitely something wrong with me.
