OK everyone. I have pulled out another chapter. I have a general idea where this is heading. It has averted a bit from when I first started, so I'm sorry about the misleading title! But it will come! Trust me! :) (Ps. I own nobody!)

CHAPTER FOUR: DECISIONS

Tommy woke up the next morning with the swift movement of the bus rocking around him. He rubbed a hand over his eyes as he thought over the shitfuck mess he created and the decision he had to make. He groaned as he slid off of his bunk. It was still dark outside and everyone was still sleeping, but he couldn't get back to sleep now even if he tried.

He went into the small living area of the bus, making sure his movements were quiet. No need to wake up the rest of the band. The light on the coffee maker gleamed a red haze in the dark as he turned it on and lay back on the miniscule couch. Pulling a soft red cushion up to fit comfortable behind his head, Tommy began to think. He didn't have time to waste so it was important to organize his thoughts.

This is all so sudden.
I don't know what the fuck I'd be getting myself into here.
I got fucking butterflies!
What does that mean?
Do I want to start shit with Adam?
My father is gone. I don't know if my family could handle something like this right now.
But I like the way it feels.
Should I like this?
It's not me. Not who I am.

Tommy was startled by the quiet beep from the coffee maker, alerting him his caffeine was ready. It pulled him quickly out of his thoughts as he rushed over to make sure the beeping stopped. He made his coffee and turned off the handy little appliance before re-positioning himself on the couch. Regardless of how tiny he was, he still didn't have enough room on the small couch to spread out, so his knees bent as he sat back against the armrest. He shoved the pillow around behind him to keep the armrest from jabbing him uncomfortably in the back and let his mind shift back into his previous thoughts.

What if I just say 'fuck it?'
I could do that.
But what if this is just an experiment?
I can't hurt Adam.
If this clusterfuck of a relationship, if we could even call it that, yeah, that's what it would be, fuck; if it happened, and the shit hit the fan, I could very well be screwed out of a job. No pun intended. Oh, jesus fuck, already thinking about the sex.
But that would happen, right?
Of course it would happen.

Tommy's back started to ache slightly so he shifted to get more comfortable. He took a sip of his coffee, which burnt his tongue a little, but set it down and closed his eyes. He needed to stay focused.

He kissed me.
We held hands.
I liked it.
I fucking liked it.
What if I don't do this?
We could just be friends; make no change to how we are, how we were.
That would be fine right?
Fuck.
But I want him to want me, hold me, and kiss me.
That's so fucking weird.
I wonder if we're close to wherever we're going..
What the fuck time is it?
Oh sweet mother of fuck its 4am.
Where the fuck is my coffee?
Ok. Ok. Back on track.
I should just do it.
I want to.
Do I need to ask myself so many questions as to why I shouldn't?
I have more answers as to why I should.
I guess I'm going to do this.
I'll have to be honest with him, and me. I know nothing about what I'm getting myself into.
I've got a lot to learn.
He better be fucking ready to show me.

Tommy finally came to his decision. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, but it still scared the shit out of him. He drank the rest of his coffee which made him feel jittery and restless. He didn't have much sleep to go on and couldn't wait to get to the hotel so he could sleep in a real bed.

It was then that he had an idea. Adam has a bed, pretty fucking big too.

Tommy made his way to the back of the bus, putting his coffee mug in the teeny sink on his way. He continued his ninja-technique of staying quiet as he shuffled past the bunks where the rest of the band slept and silently opened the paper-thin door to Adam's rock star room.

It was dark in the room, but he could still make out the slight outline of Adam sprawled across the bed. A thin red duvet covered half of his large frame, and light flannel pyjama pants slid halfway up one of his legs. Tommy stood there watching Adam sleep for a brief moment, hesitating whether he was making the right decision. He quickly pushed the thought away, knowing he shouldn't hesitate and if he really wasn't fucking sure, he should leave now, but he didn't want to.

He shut the door behind him as quietly as he could and made his way over to the bed, contemplating the best way to slide in without waking Adam up. Seeing as the fucker was taking up pretty much the whole bed, Tommy knew he was going to have to be pretty creative. He was small, and learned how to fit into even smaller spaces. It was times like these that made him happy he had that little, unknown talent.

He lifted one side of the light blanket and slid in, slightly pushing up against Adam so he could feel Adam's side against his back. A small mumble escaped Adam's lips as he shifted and wrapped his arms around Tommy. Tommy lay still for a moment, before realising Adam was actually still asleep and had re-positioned himself self-consciously.

Tommy allowed himself to get comfortable and relax as he laced his fingers with Adam's, holding his arm tightly around his waist. It was soothing and he felt fucking weird. It was something he would have to get over though. He made up his mind, and there was no way in fucking hell he could even change it now.

..The fuck? Adam woke abruptly, feeling his arms wrapped around a petit frame that was hot against his chest. He moved to sit up and focus his eyes. It was dark in the room, but he could make out the blond hair sprawled all over his pillow in a heaping mess.

"Tommy?" Adam was a bit shocked to find his bassist curled into a ball on his bed. It was still dark out and the bus was rumbling, which meant they were still moving towards their destination.

The only noise from Tommy however was a hushed snore before he shifted, sprawling his legs out and lying on his stomach. Obviously the man could tell there was more available space even in his sleep.

Adam looked over him for a moment, noticing Tommy in a baggy black t-shirt and thin, grey cotton pants. Figuring the blond might have gotten lost after a bathroom break; Adam began to shove at Tommy a little in an attempt to wake him, repeating his name.

"Hmm. What?" Tommy started to stir a little, but not enough to really wake him. It wasn't until Adam pinched his side that he jolted upright, letting out a straggled yelp.

"Shh! Fuck! The rest of the band is probably still sleeping! What the fuck are you doing?" Adam used a harsh whisper as he spoke to Tommy.

The little bassist started remembering where he was and why he was there. He looked at Adam apologetically before speaking.

"I – uh, well, hmm." He wasn't sure how to start explaining his whole escapade from earlier and the decision he made.

"Did you get lost or something?" Adam looked at Tommy confused, one of his eyebrows quirked up as he waited for a response.

"No, I didn't get lost. I got up earlier and spent a bit of time thinking, you know, about what we talked about last night." Tommy averted his eyes from Adam and let one of his hands travel to the back of his head to scratch at the top of his neck. He yawned and his hand moved to stifle it. When Tommy looked back at Adam, he could still make out the blue in his eyes in the dark.

It was silent for a moment as Adam examined Tommy. The silence was broken once Tommy decided to continue with his explanation.

"I made a decision. If you really want me, that is. If you do then I want to try this out. I'm going to need a shit load of help. I hope you understand that. I don't want to hurt you and this is no fucking experiment. I am going to try my best. If you'll have me." Tommy held his gaze on Adam as he watched the singer's reaction.

Shock set in first before confusion, then pensiveness. Adam took a moment to make sure he was taking in everything Tommy said correctly. "You're sure about this? You want to start seeing each other?" Tommy nodded, making sure he sent the message with his gaze, never taking his eyes off Adam's.

"I'm sure. I wouldn't be here and saying anything if I wasn't. It was made perfectly clear this is something we can't fuck around with. We have a lot at stake here." Tommy let his hand slide its way over the one of Adam's where he laced their fingers and let a small smile form on his lips.

"Yes we do. We also need sleep. I'm sure we'll be arriving at the hotel soon. We can talk more there ok? For now you can stay here if you want, but we still have to talk more about this." Adam gave Tommy a warning look. He was serious, but also very fucking tired. He lay down and allowed Tommy to curl up on his chest.

"Ok, more talking later. Thank you." Tommy lifted his head to look up at Adam. Moving himself up a bit, he successfully placed a small, chaste kiss against the singer's cheek before settling back down and closing his eyes.

They both drifted to sleep to the sound of the hum of the bus's engine.