Author's Note: Considering this is my second time writing this exact note, obviously I'm still trying to figure out how to work this darn contraption. It's worth the effort because I really wanted to thank every single person who is reading and responding (or following ...). I was hesitant about even writing this fic, let alone posting it (*mumbles* Thanks, Jann). I really wanted to post this chapter before tonight's episode, just so the entire thing doesn't become obsolete. So, please enjoy and let me know what you think!


By the time glee started, the story of what happened in the cafeteria had been altered so much that even Puck wasn't sure how it all went down anymore. There was whispering in the hallways that were close to the truth – he wasn't really sure how the tale about the loose cheetah came about and frankly he didn't want to know - but everyone was leaving out one minor detail: Puck coming to Rachel's defense.

The story had turned from Rachel being slushied and Finn stopping Puck from being sent back to juvie for knocking out Karofsky's front teeth with one of the cafeteria trays to something entirely different. Something that featured Finn coming to Puck's rescue, and Karofsky swinging up to punch Finn, who ducked out of the way, Karofsky's fist accidentally hitting Puck instead.

If he were the type of person who cared what people were saying about him, he'd point out that Finn had the lateral movement of a great white shark.

On land.

In the winter.

"Alright guys!" Mr. Schuester entered the room in a particularly good mood, which was unusual for the first day back. Teachers might claim to love their jobs and be in it for the kids and whatever, but they craved the time off just as much as anyone. Despite what the students wanted to believe, the teachers had lives, too. Sad, pathetic, boring lives, but lives nonetheless. "I hope you enjoyed your break, but I'd like to hear some evidence that the time off was not a waste."

Puck looked to his left across the row of chairs at Santana. She was filing her nails and hadn't even acknowledged Mr. Schue's presence. Whenever she did look up, she stared directly at Sam. Puck smiled to himself, remembering a time when that look might have made him jealous, or at least hot. Now he just felt sorry for the blond kid, knowing his life was about to be ruined.

"I, for one, spent countless nights thinking of songs we could feature at Regionals. And let me be the first to applaud your effort to showcase this club's many talents, but remind you that we will not make it to Nationals on a tie." Rachel scowled at Sam and Quinn, her arms crossing in front of her chest. Puck laughed lightly, wondering how Rachel found it in herself to be so self-righteous when she was sitting all alone at the end of the front row of chairs.

"Rachel's right. We'd definitely have to take a plane to New York, not a tie." The few seconds of silence that often followed any of Brittany's contributions to the conversation gave Santana enough time to put her plan into action.

"Speaking of tie, you left yours at my place after the Beauty and the Beast's wedding." The Latina's eyes trained on Quinn even though she was clearly speaking to Sam. Puck closed his eyes, not needing to see Quinn's face fall or Sam's face redden under the scrutiny of the rest of the club. Despite her desperate attempt to work herself back into the popular ring, Quinn had grown up a lot after everything last year, which is why her response to Santana's remark was one passing glance at Sam before excusing herself for the rest of the day.

"What the hell is your problem?" Finn asked in frustration, the kid on freaking repeat today. "Is it your goal to ruin everyone's life in this club?"

"Please! I did you a favor, Finnocent!"

"Guys!" Mr. Schuester made his first attempt to rein the club back in, but it was no use. He'd stopped the battle at Sectionals, but now it was time for war.

"We were both drunk!" Sam shouted, standing up and stepping toward Santana. "It didn't mean anything and you promised not to tell Quinn."

"I didn't tell Quinn. She inferred."

"Big word for a big mouth," Puck chimed in, feeling like throwing a verbal punch while it was allowed. Mr. Schuester had left the room, maybe trying to make the club guilty but ultimately just giving them time to hash out all their grievances with one another. Unfortunately, Sam had stormed out and Mercedes and Artie weren't going to have anything to say. Brittany was occupied inside her own mind, Lauren was out sick today, and the Asians were noticeably absent from practice despite being present and accounted for during school today. Regardless, that only left Finn, Santana, Puck, and Rachel.

But Rachel knew better than to say anything in this situation. Right? Puck sighed, watching the feisty girl spring from her seat and jut out her index finger accusingly toward Santana. Wrong.

"You are absolutely deplorable, Santana. How can you sit up there and pretend to be a human being when every decision and action you make has such irrevocable damage on those around you, some of which you claim to be your friends?"

"Don't lump yourself into that category, RuPual." Santana uncrossed her arms, prepared to fight. "We aren't friends. We'll never be friends because you'll never be anything." Santana grinned like a cat, the corners of her mouth turning upward as the evil poured off of her. "Without Finn, you don't matter."

"You don't matter!" Rachel practically yelled, standing up for herself in what might be the inaugural event. Maybe she really had made some resolutions for 2011. "You make it your goal to bring down everyone else because the truth is that you are miserable. Sam and Quinn. Finn and I. Brittany and Artie. Everyone had someone and you had no one." Santana stood slowly but with purpose, only Rachel wasn't backing down. "You disguise your loneliness under a guise of seduction but the only one you end up fooling is yourself!"

"Break it up!" Mr. Schuester came in at the nick of time, stepping between the two girls before what was no doubt going to be the hottest cat fight on the face of the Earth. Santana was fuming, though, storming out of the room after pushing Mr. Schuester out of her way. He sighed and followed her, always trying to do what was best for his students.

Poor guy.

Rachel eventually sat back down, staring straight ahead even while the rest of those left in the room were looking right at her. Mercedes and Artie were still in a bit of shock, and Brittany quite possibly missed the whole thing. It was only Finn and Puck's responses left that would set the tone for the whole thing, and Rachel naturally looked to Finn first.

"Way to go, Berry," he interrupted Finn and Rachel's shared look, seeing the horror in Finn's eyes and not appreciating it. Finn was about to tell her that she shouldn't have done that, but he was wrong. Just because it was easier to sit back and take the punch didn't mean it was the right thing to do. "It's about time you stood up for yourself."

"Thank you, Noah." Rachel again locked eyes with Finn and Puck wanted to kill himself, that's until he heard what she had to say. "I figured since no one else was going to stand up for me, I should finally do it myself."

One short statement left the choir room silent again until Mr. Schuster showed up. Puck was shocked that Rachel worked up the nerve to not only say the truth, but say it in front of Finn. And Finn, for all his dumb obliviousness, completely understood what she meant and kept his mouth shut for the rest of glee practice.

"I can see we are not going to get any real work done today, but I do have news that affects everyone in this room." Mr. Schuester waited for some interruption, honestly surprised when met with more deafening silence. "As many of you are already aware, the football team is competing in the state championship this Saturday, and since we do not have a marching band, Principal Figgins has asked the glee club to perform a half-time number."

Mr. Schuester barely paused, simply putting his hand up to stop Rachel's onslaught of questions. "Yes, the football players in the club will be performing as well, and yes I realize this is short notice. Right now the cheerleaders are exempt from the performance since their tournament is the same day in Columbus, so that means we'll need 110 percent from those available."

Rachel impatiently raised her hand, Mr. Schuester pointing to her on a sigh. "How does Mr. Figgins expect us to pull this together in time? There is choreography, costumes, rehearsals … does he think we just pick a song out of a hat and do the Macarena to it?"

"It's going to be tough, but come on, guys. You've done an entire routine in just a few hours, without my help." Rachel again looked to Finn, more than likely thinking that his leadership had been the cause of their togetherness at that particular moment. "I fully encourage everyone in this room and those who have left to leave the dramas of high school behind and do your best to come together as a team."

"I'll do what I can, Mr. Schuester." Rachel shook her head, standing to gather her stuff. Puck could hear the wheels in her head turning from his spot on the other side of the room, and suddenly he had an urge to prove to Rachel that he had leadership skills, too.

"Mercedes, Artie and Brittany, you guys should hook up with Chang and Tina and work on some super fly dance moves. Finn can smooth everything up between Sam and Quinn and Santana, and Rachel and I can meet up tonight to find the perfect song."

"Wow … uh, thanks, Puck." The fact that Mr. Schuester was so surprised by Puck's contributions to the discussion was kind of upsetting, especially after all the crap he'd said to Puck before break. He wasn't just another popular guy who could be used to recruit new members. He actually really liked glee, and Mr. Schuester knew that. "You guys are good to go, but I actually need to talk to Mercedes and Rachel."

If the situation had been flipped, with the girls on the other side of that statement, they would have asked questions. They would have wondered why the boys were being singled out and wondered from what they were being excluded. Puck and Finn, however, for all their differences, were both men. They simply nodded and exited the room without another look, pleased to get out a few minutes earlier than usual.

Maybe for once they wouldn't have to run an extra ten laps for being late to football practice.

"Puckerman!" He visibly flinched at Coach Beiste's coarse tone, walking back to her office inside the locker room and stepping inside. "You're early."

"Schue let us out." Less was more, Puck figured.

"Good. We have a tough practice ahead of us in preparation for the championship game, and I need you guys to be on you're A-game."

"You got it, Coach." Puck bobbed on his feet, his hands moving into his pockets slowly. "Is … that all?"

"No." Puck sighed, having already guessed. "We're going to be trying out a lot of new things today, so I'm going to need your complete focus. No screwing around, and if you even think about questioning me, you're off the team, too."

"Too?"

"Suit up!" She demanded, Puck backing away quickly when he realized he already disobeyed her request.

The locker room was unusually quiet, even for Puck and Finn, who usually came in late thanks to glee. The two didn't speak, simply put on their football gear and ran outside to the field. It was freezing outside (not unusual for January in Ohio), but the twenty laps they did at the start of every practice warmed them up considerably.

Comfortably sweating, Finn finally had the gall to ask the inevitable question. "Coach, where is everybody else?" Some of the football players surrounding Finn seemed offended, but none said anything. Aside from Sam, Artie, Mike and a couple others, they were all second and third-string players, so they were probably just as curious as to why they suddenly looked like they'd be starting in Saturday's game.

"After the events at lunch today, Mr. Karofsky was expelled." Puck and Finn's eyes both doubled in size. "His bullying had finally gone too far, and he was removed from the building. Unfortunately, he convinced some of his friends to quit the team in protest of his 'wrongful dismissal' and then more quit after catching wind of my new offensive plan."

"Which is?"

"Well, I could tell you, but I'd much rather show you." Coach Beiste pointed to the other side of the football field, the twenty pairs of eyes following the general direction. Some groaned in response while others couldn't say anything. Even Puck, who usually had a smart-ass comment for every situation, found his brain unable to fathom what was happening.

Was that Rachel in a football uniform?

"Coach!" Finn finally found his voice, the baritone pitch booming in the quiet area. "You have to be kidding?"

"Do you have something against women playing football, Hudson?" There was no right way to answer that, but Finn was too dumb to know that.

"Of course not, Coach. But … it's Rachel." His hands lifted in exasperation, one coming down with a smack while the other moved to point in the petite brunette's direction. "Karofsky could have willing eaten her for breakfast and you are going to let her play football during a championship game?"

"While I appreciate your concern, Finn, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I happen to be very light on my feet, and if you would have taken the time to come watch me during my ballet recital, you would already know that."

Finn groaned into Rachel's diatribe, Puck actually finding it within himself to laugh. The entire situation just got more ridiculous when Tina and Mercedes started running down the field, Lauren meandering behind them (wasn't she sick?). First the cripple, now girls. They weren't just going to lose. They were going to lose bad, while being laughed at … a lot.

"Ready when you are, Coach." Mercedes made eyes at Anthony, and Puck was just happy they had one decent player still on the team besides him, Finn, Mike, and Sam.

"Let's see how much of the plays you guys had a chance to learn." Coach Beiste threw the football at Sam. "You're the quarterback."

"What the hell?" Finn shouted, his entire world crashing in on him. "I am the starting quarterback!"

"If you keep up this attitude, you'll be lucky to be the first string waterboy!" Finn shut up quickly but did so with a pout. "Sam's going to be quarterback because you'll have to play linebacker. You too, chuckles."

Puck sighed, figuring that was coming. Clearly Rachel and Tina were going to be running backs, their size useless for anything but speed. Lauren and Mercedes would probably be on the defensive line, which might actually be an improvement from Karofsky's friends. They were still going to lose, but maybe the score wouldn't be too terribly embarrassing.

"Run the play!" Coach shouted, stepping off the field while muttering to herself. The shouting and the muttering didn't stop until the end of practice, when she had told the group to hit the showers and Puck said Rachel could share one with him. After that he was ordered to run another twenty laps, while Coach and the girls stood on the sidelines discussing plays, practices, and their supposed roles in Saturday's game. They finished talking at almost exactly the same time he was done running.

"Last chance, Berry." Puck wiggled his eyebrows in her direction, leaning into her personal space for just a moment before continuing his trek toward the showers. Mercedes made a joke about his body odor before proceeding to the girls' restroom, Rachel calling out his name when everyone else had left. "What?"

"Did you mean what you said?" That was a loaded question if he ever heard one, so he waited for her to clarify. "At glee, about choosing a song together?"

It was Puck's turn to mimic the actions of a new puppy learning tricks, his head cocking the left as he evaluated her. On the surface, Rachel Berry presented herself with unwavering confidence. She had an opinion about everything and a correct answer for any unasked question. But inside she was as lost as the rest of them, trying to find her place in a world that didn't necessarily appreciate those who were just trying to be themselves.

Even Puck found himself losing his footing from time to time.

"Because, frankly, we don't have a lot of time to mess around and if you were just saying those things so Mr. Schuester …"

"I meant it, Rach." Puck rolled his eyes, trying not to smile when Rachel's bright one overtook her face. There was the very rare shy and timid Rachel and then the bright, happy Rachel who they most often saw. There was no in between. It was always one of two extremes. "What do you say we shower and meet back up at my truck? I'll drive you home and we can work on the halftime show for a couple of hours at your place."

She agreed with an enthusiastic nod, practically skipping to the girl's restroom. Puck was the last to claim a shower in the locker room, but the guys didn't do much more than rub some soap into their hair and underarms and rinse off. And even if he had planned on lingering, the chatter from those changing left little to be desired. Everyone was either bitching and moaning about girls being on the field or they were stating in graphic detail their every fantasy regarding the girls being on the field.

Puck tended to favor on the side of the latter, but he figured it was best to keep quiet when he was already sneaking away from the ritualistic guy time. Rachel had actually beaten him to his truck, standing outside the vehicle in enough winter gear to keep a polar bear warm in the Arctic. He already heard the story last week about how she had hand-knitted the beanie and matching scarf last year during break, and the coat had been a gift this year from one of her fathers.

"I see you managed to shower just fine without me."

"Just because you weren't there in body doesn't mean you weren't there in spirit." He didn't feel bad about making such comments to her, not when she had seemingly grown accustomed to them in their recent attempt at friendship. And also not when she led him on like that. "And I'm not just talking about me."

"Please. I do not need the mental imagery of you Neanderthals gathered around a shower sharing intimate details of your latest conquests." Rachel rolled her eyes, accepting Puck's gentlemanly gesture of opening her door by hopping up onto the passenger side seat. He barely had his door open before she spoke up again. "Did Sam say anything? In regards to Quinn?"

"She dumped him."

Rachel took a few moments to absorb this information, absently watching the passing scenery as Puck guided his truck through the school's parking lot and then toward Rachel's house. He knew the way like the back of his hand, if not because of it being a small town then because Puck himself only lived a few blocks away. Finn lived a few blocks away from him, and Quinn lived on the complete opposite side of town (which was still only about a fifteen minute drive).

"You must be pretty happy about that." Puck turned his attention to her for a moment, forcing his eyes back onto the road when he saw her grip the door handle a bit tighter. "I just mean … last year … you and Quinn …"

"That was last year." His answer was evasive at best, but it was really all he had at that particular moment. With those two parts of him continuing their internal battle, he couldn't offer her anything more. "Much like you, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."

"I've noticed."

He smirked in her direction, pulling in her driveway in a quick, fluid motion. He hesitated before getting out, finally relenting on just following her inside as she moved from the car to her house without breaking for an extra breath. She explained the entire situation about glee and football to her fathers almost as quickly, Puck finding himself sitting on the soft mattress of her bed and not quite knowing how he'd gotten there.

"Today was actually my first encounter with American football, and since my dads are gay there tends to be more musicals on the television than SportsCenter." Rachel sifted through her music collection as she spoke. "I understand Saturday's game is pretty important, and since the audience will be primarily men, I think it would be best if the glee club did a classic rock song, but maybe paired with something well known … for the younger crowd."

"Sounds good."

Puck bobbed his head, letting her take the reins as he took in his surroundings. Despite the handful of times they had hung out over break, it had always been at his house. The first time she came over simply to drop off some cookies for his mom, but then she ended up staying for dinner and then learning the basics of Modern Warfare. The next time she was helping his sister with some girl issue, and the time after that they'd ran into each other at the store. After that, she didn't really need an excuse.

She seemed to enjoy his company, and he likewise.

But being back in this room, the place he hadn't been in more than three weeks, changed everything. Their friendship was a façade and the reason why was written in blood on the walls. Nothing had changed since that night, not the situation and not any of the people involved. And any indication that they had or were going to was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Right?

"Rachel," he stopped her monologue, waiting for her to pause the music, too. He hadn't even been listening to what she was saying, let alone why she had put in a Bruce Springsteen CD. The glee assignment was important, but he couldn't focus on it until his head was relatively clear of all this nonsense. "What did you mean earlier today, when you said you haven't been able to figure me out lately?"

"Noah, this halftime show is in approximately one hundred and fifteen hours and we need to …"

"We will," he assured her while still putting his foot down.

Rachel was the kind of person who demanded control, but he also knew she liked it when people pushed back. To some degree, it might be the one thing Puck could do better than Finn. Whipped was the word Puck chose to use the most in the locker room or around school, but the real truth was that Finn was spineless, and to the millionth degree when it came to Rachel. He'd do anything she asked because, in his head, he cared about her so she deserved to get her way. And Puck would be lying if he said he didn't care about Rachel, but he also wasn't worried about hurting her feelings. Rachel was a strong person – freakishly so in terms of her brute strength in proportion to her size – who needed a strong man.

A man like him.

"But this first."

Rachel sighed, her hands eventually falling to her sides. She slowly made her way to the edge of her bed, sitting on the empty spot next to him. Her hands wringed together on her lap as she considered her words, and Puck nervously lifted his hand up and rested it on top of hers. The gesture didn't exactly have the calming effect for which Puck hoped, Rachel's head turning so quickly that he swore he heard her neck snap. Her eyes nearly burned holes into his head until he turned to face her.

They stayed like that for a long while, both of them just staring at the other. Puck tried not to focus on the heat scorching through his hand and up his arm, but it was hard to ignore the feeling when it was quickly consuming his entire being – including, obviously, his brand new vagina. He felt it all the way down his toes and even, for a second, could sense it somewhere deep inside his heart. He never understood how such a tiny person could have such a big impact on his life, but at that moment he couldn't deny it either.

Because at that moment, she leaned in and kissed him.

It was tentative at first, her lips brushing softly against his before she pulled back an inch or two and looked back up into his eyes. They hadn't closed since she'd caught him off guard anyway, and she seemed to almost gasp at whatever she saw floating around in his brown orbs before crushing her lips against his again. This time his eyes not only closed, but Puck felt his lips react to her contact.

Rachel's hands quickly moved to wrap around his neck, Puck's hand falling off hers and into her lap. She sighed at the new contact, repositioning herself so one of her knees was bent on the bed while the other still hung over the side. Puck simply kept his torso turned toward her, his hand splaying across the outside of her bare thigh and tightening when he heard a quiet moan from low in Rachel's throat.

Before he knew what was happening, they were scooting up further onto her mattress, Puck's body eventually hovering over hers. Rachel's hands were under his T-shirt and the hand of Puck's that wasn't still pressed against the small of her back (the one keeping most of his weight off her tiny frame) was slowly creeping past her hips toward her breasts. When the tips of his fingers brushed against the bare expanse of her stomach, Rachel moaned again and arched up into him.

Again, anyone who knew Rachel knew that was a red flag.

"Wait, wait, wait." Noah literally shook his head, trying to clear his mind and maybe his conscience as he once again stared down at a ready and willing Rachel while pulling away. Her chest was heaving and her lips were swollen and pink, the same look of confusion and rejection pooling in her eyes. It was so much like déjà vu (down to the very last detail) that Puck wondered if he was in the fucking Matrix or something.

"What's wrong this time?" Her voice wasn't as timid as it had been last time, and there certainly hadn't been as much frustration in her tone as there was right then. Rachel lifted onto her elbows, and Puck adjusted his spot above her to make up for the loss of space between them. She again sighed heavily, falling back flat while he moved to a sitting position on the side of the bed, his head sagged down staring at the floor. "Is this about Quinn?"

"No?" His answer came out as a question, which when he turned to face her again he could tell that she thought he was lying. The opposite was true, though. It wasn't about Quinn. Quinn had been the furthest thing from his mind at that point, and the inflection at the end of his voice wasn't hesitance but confusion. Puck was confused how such a seemingly bright girl could honestly be so daft.

Did he have to spell it out for her? F-I-N-N.

"If it's not Quinn, then it has to be me." He hated himself for letting her continue, for not stopping her right there and pointing out all of the many reasons she was wrong. "You're used to the Quinns and the Santanas of the world, and what am I?"

The word everything instantly came to mind and Puck had to stand up to keep from saying it. He had to leave. Those two parts of him weren't ready for this discussion and he had to leave. He had to put more distance between them. He had to punch something.

"You're growing up." Her sudden response stopped his retreat, his hand pressed against the knob of her bedroom door. Slowly he turned and faced her again, avoiding her piercing stare while she continued to speak. "You asked me why I'm having trouble figuring you out, and the main reason is because you're growing up." He leaned against the wood of the door, watching her now that he could sense her head was down. "I know you don't like to talk about it, but I know how much giving up Beth hurt. You tried to deny it for so long, but obviously you're dealing with it now."

Puck looked away again before she could lift her head, afraid of what else she might be able to see if he let her see his eyes. She'd already done such a good job at dissecting him as is; he didn't need her to see his face crumble at the thought of his daughter. The decision to give her up (good or not) had been the hardest in his entire life and he tried to play it cool, tried to pretend the experience hadn't changed him (much like Quinn was doing now as she tried to claw her way back to the top), but it had.

"You might be Puckasarus to everyone else, but I know you a little better than that, Noah." She finally stood, taking a few tentative steps closer to him and Puck felt his back press against the door a little harder even as he closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "You don't just crash cars and steal ATMs." When he opened his eyes again, she was right in front of him, looking up into his eyes with so much emotion that he couldn't help but think she was going to be famous one day. "You're better than that."

Rachel lifted to her tiptoes, her hands resting against Puck's chest while she once again closed the distance between the two of them with a soft kiss. For a split second Puck wondered if he could get used to it, the soft-spoken words and the tender embraces, and the next he was thinking about how it wasn't always like that with Rachel. Her passion wasn't limited to music and theater, but rather carried over in everything she did. Unlike him, Rachel didn't do anything half-assed and instead managed all her responsibilities and endeavors with an equal mix of rigor and precision.

He could learn a lot from her.

"I'm sorry," Puck said, allowing his forehead to rest against hers for a moment. It was strange that even as he was grabbing her shoulders and pushing her away from him that he still sought and found comfort in her touch. Rachel's eyes instantly watered up, his glassy reflection starring back at him, mocking him. You don't deserve her, it said.

And it was right.

"I gotta get the hell out of here."