Hey y'all. Sorry it's been a while since I updated. Hope you like this chapter. I really really appreciate all the comments and love. So that's about it. This one is pretty nice and long, hopefully to make up for the wait. Love you all so much!
Disclaimer: Totally don't own a damn thing.
Tony watched Ziva cautiously from the other side of the bullpen. They had been civil all week, however only spoke concerning professional topics. There was no flirtation, teasing, poking or prodding. They each pretended nothing had happened, and that they only knew each other on a professional level. They forced smiles once in a blue moon and made brief eye contact but nothing more than what was necessary to assure the other they were fine. Neither were mad, both merely afraid of what the other was thinking so they avoided the conversation they knew would eventually take place.
As Tony watched the woman he wondered how he could be so stupid not to know. There had been mood swings, morning sickness, weight gain and frequent pit stops in the bathroom. For some reason he never would have considered it, even though she puked right in front of him. Tony thought back to one particular instance that had stuck with him, maybe there were signs he had missed.
Ziva had been working normally as she did, maybe slightly slower than usual but none-the-less it was an average day. She had a hard time sleeping the night before due to acid reflux. Without warning Ziva suddenly felt a rush of nausea run over her. She closed her eyes hoping for it to subside and found herself staring at the clock. She had normally only had morning sickness around 6 am, but today she had been perfectly fine. Now, at 10 am, she realized that having a large breakfast as a reward for her lack of vomit had been a horrible idea.
She lunged forward trying to make it from behind her desk to her trash can in time. Her knees collided with the carpet, which lent little padding, and positioned her face just above the trash bin. She heaved forward and expelled that deliciously indulgent breakfast from her body. Tony looked up at the sound of her gagging and coughing and rushed to kneel beside her on the floor.
Tony combed her hair back with his fingers and blindly located a hair tie on her desk to keep the hair off her neck and out of the way. He brushed his hand back against her forehead feeling for a fever but she felt fine. He rubbed gentle and small circles around her back to comfort her as she finished retching into the waste bin. She sat back on heels and took a deep breathe. After recollecting herself she leaned against him. He could tell by the look on her face just how terrible the vile in her mouth had been. He could tell how much her back must have hurt from regurgitating repeatedly.
"Thank you, Tony" She whispered closing her eyes and balancing her head as she felt it swish from side to side. He reached for a water bottle and handed it to her. Ziva rinsed her mouth out and spit it into the garbage can before settling her head on his shoulder. He comfortingly brushed stray hairs from her exhausted face. If she was being honesty, she was thankful for his touch.
"No problem, Sweet Cheeks. If you're sick you should probably go home." Tony suggested kissing her temple. They had been affectionate towards each other, more than before Paris, but everyone chalked it up to them getting along again. They had always been rather affectionate towards each other; heck all the team had a tendency to be affectionate to one another.
"I think, I think I'll be fine now" Ziva sighed defiantly. Tony considered arguing but she seemed sure. It was likely the remnants of a hangover or something she had eaten. He swore to himself that if she got sick again he would force her home. Later that day, after falling asleep at her desk, Gibbs was able to convince Ziva to, at the very least, take a break in Abby's office.
Ziva was vaguely aware of Tony's eyes on her. She didn't dare look up, worried about whether it was a look of disgust, anger or sadness painted on his face. Had she looked she would have probably noticed just the fascination and maybe a hint of sadness in his eyes. Ziva thought about her friends, and what Abby would say about the situation. A week and a half ago she and Abby had spoken about the circumstance though Abby hadn't said a word about Tony but was rather just excited about Ziva's condition. Ziva couldn't help but ponder whether Abby knew Tony was the father or not.
Ziva looked up from the extremely fascinating stain on the table when she heard the door to the conference room fling open. Relief made its way to the pit of her stomach when she realized it was not the man she had been fighting with entering the room. Instead she saw the face of a sweet and beloved Goth make her way slowly towards her.
"Hey, Ziva. How you holdin' up?" Abby asked softly as she knelt beside her, much like Gibbs had done. Ziva appreciated her friends subdued behavior though she'd had to admit she could use a little of the pep the other woman often brought.
"Abby, is there something you wish to know?" Ziva prodded with a sly smile across her saddened face. Abby's eyes lit up excitedly as she glanced down at her friend's abdomen then back up at her face.
"Are you really pregnant?" Abby begged desperately needing to hear the words from the source. Ziva grinned back at Abby and reached out to take her hand. She slowly brought it to her stomach, though it was too early for movement to be felt.
"So, there's really a baby in there?" Abby whispered like a small child in awe. Ziva couldn't hide the ecstatic grin taking over her face. Abby stood and wrapped her arms around the other woman as she held back all screeches of happiness. Ziva relished in the happiness her friend had for her.
"Listen, Zi, I want to be there for you through all of it. If you need a birth coach, or someone to go to classes with you, or like some crazy craving filled you call me, got it? And hey, if you need something from Gibbs just let me know 'cause I've got the silver fox wrapped around this finger!" Abby rambled and finished her sentence by holding up her pinky finger. Ziva responded with a joyful laugh slowly morphed into a soft stream of tears.
"Thank you, Abby. You don't know what this means to me." Ziva cried happily wiping away the salty tears on her cheeks, "Sorry, I'm just a bit emotional lately."
"Ziva, you've got me. You don't have to do this alone." Abby assured as she gave her hand a quick squeeze, which only encouraged heavier sobs to escape Ziva.
Thinking of her friend in forensics, Ziva stood to visit and possibly rest but before she was fully erect she gasped. She doubled over and sat back in her chair, fighting for air. The pain had knocked the wind out of her and she found herself trying to remember how to breathe.
Tony was snapped out of his own memory when he heard a soft, but abnormal, huff of air escape someone's lungs. He looked up at Ziva to find her in her chair hunched completely over. It didn't take more than a millisecond for him to spring from his chair and find himself beside her. It didn't matter that they hadn't spoken in over a week, nor did it matter the feelings that had been hurt. What was important now was Ziva and their child.
McGee looked up to the sound of Tony's chair flying back and colliding with the file cabinet. Noticing the commotion he picked up his phone and dialed 911. His hands shook with anticipation and worry as he gazed over at the pair. Both looked terrified, and McGee could understand that.
"Something is not right, Tony" Ziva croaked as she reached for him. He stepped towards her, enveloping her in his arms and burying his face in her hair. Her hands walked themselves up his torso before finding the lapel of his jacket and crushing each side in a hand. Her hands were tightly balled around the fabric as her face pressed into his sternum. Tony whispered reassurance against the top of her head, kissing here and there.
"I can't... I can't lose the baby, Tony. I think.... I've seen too much death. I can't lose my child." Ziva sobbed, wetting the front of his shirt with her tears.
"Shhh, Ziva listen. You're gonna be alright. McGee just called an ambulance. I won't let anything happen." Tony insisted, his lips pressed to her forehead. Ziva nodded, trying with all that was in her to believe him, but she was terrified and stubborn.
"I think it is karma." she wailed softly into the fabric covering his chest. He held her tighter around the shoulders, afraid to touch the rest of her. Tony was nearly appalled at the statement and how she could think such a thing. She had seen her share of death, maybe been behind her share as well but in no way did she ever deserve such a thing as losing a child.
"Hush now, nechama sheli" Tony whispered softly, almost in a scolding manner, as he cradled Ziva's face into his body. Nechama Sheli, that was basically the equivalent of calling her his soul mate, but she wouldn't let herself dwell on this. Not now.
Before she could even think of what might happen, she was lifted upon a stretcher and moved into the back of an ambulance.
Blurry clouds of white swirled in her line of vision as Ziva pried her dry eyes open. Opening her eyes had never required such labor and she found her eyes felt incredibly heavy and tired. When her sight seemed to steady and she could start to make out faces and the rest of her senses around her.
She was suddenly aware that a voice had been speaking to her the whole time she was waking. She could only distinguish a few words here and there from the rest of the murmured speech but it was there, none the less.
"Gibbs......proud.......team.........waiting......Abby.........cupcakes......love.....just........wake........." the voice droned on happily in a one sided conversation. She felt a larger hand cradle one of hers, squeezing to emphasize certain words. When she gently clutched the hand back she heard a sharp intake of breath from beside her and the voice stopped. She rolled her head slowly to meet the eyes of whoever sat beside her.
"Hey, welcome back" Tony sighed with relief as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. As he pulled away from her slowly he noticed the glisten of tears forming and threatening to spill out of her eyes.
"No No, don't cry, Ziva." Tony begged noticing the tears begin falling down her face. Her chin quivered as she examined is worried mug and she couldn't hold bug her soft sobs.
"Did I, Tony, did I...?" Ziva whimpered and trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. Tony's eyes grew wide with realization of what she was asking and leaned towards her in a rush.
"No, No, No, Ziva. You are both just fine. I just wanted to be here so you wouldn't be afraid." Tony insisted weakly and exhausted with the strain, as he took her hand in both of his now but Ziva shook her head with disbelief.
"If so, why was I unconscious?" Ziva rebutted. If everything was fine she would not have woken up in the first place because she would have been conscious. Being unconscious was a sign of something being wrong. She was in the hospital; something had to be wrong.
"Because, my ninja, you tried to karate chop your way through the docs. They sedated you to avoid putting more stress on the baby." Tony laughed. Now that he knew she and their child were fine her behavior struck him as comical. Her instincts were more violent than the average mother to be. Ziva frowned and took a moment to examine his face where she saw the beginnings of a black eye.
"Did I give you that blinder?" Ziva asked in a mumble, somewhat ashamed of her reaction to stress.
"Yeah, Zi, but this shiner was an accident. Listen to me, Ziva. The doctors said that what happened was premature labor. They say it's somewhat common, and that you'll be fine. They prescribed you this medication to take if contractions start up again, but they said yours was a mild case and isn't likely to occur again. As long as you make sure to get enough rest, avoid stress and take care of yourself they say you'll be just fine, both of you." Tony explained slowly, knowing that she was still a bit foggy from the sedative. Ziva nodded slowly to show her understanding.
"I wish to see Abby, now." Ziva requested stubbornly. She was content to know that everything would be alright, and now that the crisis had passed she felt the need to stick to her guns. Tony tipped his head to the side wondering to himself if he had heard her correctly.
"Yeah, I'll get her for you. I'm sorry, so so sorry. This is my fault, I caused the stress." Tony exhaled defeated. He got up and left her alone in the room. Ziva let her head droop back down onto the pillow behind her and waited for Abby.
"Hey, so I know I told you I'd do, like, anything for you but why send out a perfectly good man just to have me? Come on, Ziva. The two of you are so Goddamn stubborn, maybe this is just what you needed to get you to speak again." Abby lectured as she paced around and threw her hands in the air with frustration.
"Abby, we have been speaking." Ziva claimed defiantly as she pointed at the other woman.
"Well yeah I guess, but not the way you used to. Tony wants to be part of his child's life. He's proven it time and time again. He refused to leave your side even though both Gibbs and I offered to take post but no, nothing he does is good enough. -By the way, I made you cupcakes- Seriously though, Ziva, when are going to just forgive him and kiss and make-up!? I mean this is Tony we are talking about" Abby ranted. When she finished she turned and looked at her friend expectantly.
"Last man I trusted betrayed me and I had known him since my childhood." Ziva explained almost silently. Abby's shoulders hunched forward with sympathy as she approached her friend, calmer now.
"You got damaged, huh?" Abby suggested with a soft smile. Abby nudged Ziva, and signaled her to look up at the window of the door. There stood Tony, peering in with concern and curiosity while Gibbs stood behind him with a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Gibbs head tipped towards Tony's and the older murmured something to the younger. Abby smiled at the pair as she read his lips.
"You're doing good, Anthony"
Thanks so much for reading. Leave some love please. Hopefully it won't be more than a week before I update. What did you think of this chapter? (just realized, that somehow this got out of order as well. The memories got screwed with the current time... ug frustrating. but it's fixed now.
