Thank you for all your lovely reviews :) Part two is here! Obviously, this story is now AU as of 4x06. I'm probably going to fangirl over the episode at the bottom. Also, there is a teeny, tiny Jesker hint in this. Because, honestly, I can't help myself. Damn their cute. It's too cute.
There was something familiar about Jenny Lewis, Jess decided as she watched her balance the tray holding their coffees in one hand while grabbing milk and sugar with the other. Jess helpfully scooped the tray before it overbalanced, returning Jenny's grateful smile as they wandered to a free table. Once the milk had been poured and the sugar stirred, Jenny turned to the field coordinator (she briefly wondered who had decided to bring in a field coordinator, but dismissed the thought as unimportant for the time being) with an open face.
"Why did you come find me, Jessica?"
Jess played with her stirrer for a moment, wiping it on the rim of her cup to get all the froth from her drink off it. "I just… I needed someone to talk to, y'know? Abby's had a pretty hectic day, I didn't want to bother her and Connor, while he's great with computers and everything, he's not so snappy with girls and girls' feelings and…" She trailed off, dunking the white plastic stirrer into her coffee.
"So, Abby and Connor are still there?" The question slipped out before Jenny could even attempt to stop it.
"Yeah…" Jess looked surprised before she realised that Jenny obviously wouldn't have any knowledge of the ARC and it's staff since she left it. "Well, they disappeared for a while – literally – but they're back now. They're safe."
Jenny took all this in, but now she'd had a taste, she wanted more. "And Becker? Sarah? Danny?"
"Danny is… Danny's missing," Jess stared determinedly at her mug, watching the liquid swirl as she disturbed the surface with her stirrer. "He went through an anomaly to stop Helen Cutter about a year ago; he's not come back yet, but we're pretty sure he was successful." When Jenny didn't react, Jess continued. "Sarah died. It was before I joined, way before. She was helping on a rescue mission and… Yeah. It's so horrible; she sounded so lovely. I wish I could've met her." She glanced up at Jenny to check she wasn't going to personal; the ex-PR was cupping her coffee tightly in both hands, her face deep in thought as she stared at its contents. "I'm sorry. I really am."
"And Becker?" Jenny repeated, although she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know.
"Oh. Becker." It was impossible to miss the way Jess' sweet blue eyes lit up or the way her face brightened, despite the fact she remained in exactly the same position as before. "He's fine… Well, he blames himself all the time and he likes to argue with the new leader a lot, but he's fine, generally, and if not, I can always find something to make him smile, he's just really nice. And he's fine. Totally fine." She looked up again to see Jenny quirking an eyebrow over her coffee and flushed pink. Jenny just smiled knowingly, taking a sip of her drink, a gesture Jess quickly mirrored to try hide her growing blush.
Once she was sure Jess had gotten over her moment of embarrassment, Jenny started the conversation up again. "I'm guessing, if Danny's… gone, you've got a new leader?"
"Yeah," Jess leaned back into her seat, crossing her legs and cradling her coffee. "Matt. He's a nice guy, but, to be honest, we don't really know him that well. I mean, I see more of Lester than I do of him-"
"Lester's still there?" Jenny interrupted before she could stop herself.
Jess smiled, her face relaxing properly for the first time since Jenny had met her. "Yeah, he's the one that got ARC up and running after Danny disappeared."
"Hmm, I'm surprised," Jenny commented, trying not to smirk. "I would've thought he'd be a minister, or something, by now…" She smiled to show she was kidding, and Jess giggled.
"I don't think he could leave if he tried," She admitted and Jenny nodded in agreement. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, sipping their drinks while sharing secretive little smiles as though they'd known each other their whole lives. Jenny drained her coffee, setting her mug down gently on the table.
"So, Jessica," She leaned forward. "Why did you come find me?"
Jess sighed, swirling the dregs of her coffee around the bottom of her cup. "I saw someone die yesterday," she bit her lip as flashes appeared in her mind; the creature stalking up to the girl, the scream of agony, the way her heart seemed to drop into her stomach as Becker confirmed her worst fears.
"Oh," Jenny reached across, gently placing a hand on top of the one Jess had resting on the table. "I'm sorry; was it… was it your first one?"
Jess nodded, her hand shaking slightly underneath Jenny's. "She was only about fifteen…"
"A child?" Jenny looked shocked; she'd witnessed pain and death on a daily basis when working at the ARC – her co-workers', her clients, even her own – but she'd never known a child to die on the ARC's watch. Her heart completely went out to Jess in that moment: to watch a whole life being snatched away while you remain helpless was an awful experience; for it to be the life of a child, one who couldn't possibly be that much younger than Jess herself, must've been terrible. Especially for the first death. The first was always the hardest.
Jess had one hand clutching Jenny's and the other pressed to her mouth in an attempt not to cry. She simply nodded rather than risk talking and Jenny squeezed her hand, suddenly feeling the protective motherly feeling from before sweep over her again.
"I know, trust me, I know, how horrible it is," Jenny told her quietly, her voice soothing and warm. "To see that… it's something I'm afraid you'll never forget,"
Jess' eyes widened, the tears threatening to spill over as she gazed desperately at Jenny. "Does it get easier?" She whispered.
"No," Jenny admitted, truthfully, watching Jess' face crumple a little. "But if it got easier, it would only mean you were becoming heartless, wouldn't it?" Jess tilted her head to show she understood. "It's part of the job. Sometimes, it's harder…"
Jess made a choking noise and a couple of tears slipped down her cheeks. "How is that possible?"
Jenny rubbed her thumb comfortingly over the back of Jess' hand. "If it's someone you know… You care about…" She sighed as unpleasant memories she had desperately tried to forget reared their ugly heads. "Listen, Jessica, I know what you're going through. It's hard and it's painful and sometimes you're sick of putting on that stupid brave face every morning and you just want to throw something at a wall and smash your computer or something; everyday can either be amazing or a nightmare and you don't really have a say in how it goes. It's the most heartbreaking, annoying, goddamn stupid thing in the whole world; But it's your job." She caught Jess' watery gaze. "And at the end of the day, the people you save, the creatures you see… The death isn't worth it, but doesn't it offer a tiny bit of compensation? To think that, even though one person died, the rest of the planet live? After all… you can't save everyone."
Jess stared at her, awe and surprise gracing her features, making her look younger than ever. "Th-thank you."
Jenny smiled. "Well, I'd better get back to work. If you ever need me, you know where to find me, okay?" She gave Jess' hand a final squeeze. "Maybe we can go shopping one afternoon? My wedding is coming up and my fiancé probably won't give me an honest opinion after he's seen me try on fifty different dresses…"
Jess tear streaked face broke out into a full-on smile. "That'd be nice, Jenny. I'd like that."
"Me too," Jenny pulled her coat on, swinging her bag gracefully onto her shoulder. "Oh, and just a word of advice about" – she lowered her voice conspiratorially – "Becker… Tell him how you feel before it's too la- well, as soon as possible. You don't want to lose him. Trust me, I know."
With a final, friendly smile, Jenny left Jess gaping after her retreating figure. She wished she'd had someone to talk her through it when she first got involved with the ARC and the anomalies and the feelings that still haunted her. Maybe if such a person had existed, the body count would not be so high and not as many tears would've been shed. Jenny hitched her bag up higher with a sigh. She couldn't change the past; but maybe she could give the future a helping hand.
So, hope you all enjoyed this part as much as the first. I'm weirdly proud of this fic... Maybe because it's the first non-romantic thing I've managed? Haha!
So 4x06? JENNY! She was amazing! Her facial expressions are so hilarious, oh the poor thing. And her husband was lovely, accepting everything, even though he wasn't Rupert Young like I hoped he would be. Also, how much champagne did they all drink? My God, they had loads! And bless Connor 'We should get married here' Temple. That's like the second reference to Abby and Connor getting married this series, after the whole Abby Temple thing... Hmmm... ;D Lester at the end was brilliant. I love him so much. I wish he was my uncle, or something. Him and Jess play off each other brilliantly. I secretly wish Jess was his niece or something. Such a BAMF of a family. Anyways.
Oh, and Becker and Jess were cute too, I guess. What I mean to say is OINERVUIBE YUBF HNJFNSODFJVMIKE the Chinese and the sleeping on his shoulder (SHE WAS HOLDING ONTO HIS ARM AS SHE SLEPT!) and the defusing the bomb (when she asked him what to do it was night and when he told her, it was morning... they totally spent the whole night arguing, him wanting her to get out and her refusing to leave XD) and the hug! THE HUG, YOU GUYS, THE HUG! And then they hugged again! And he called her brilliant! Again! I was literally bouncing up and down as I watched :')
Okay, flailing over.
Thanks for reading!
