Congrats to my usual beta, Alby Mangroves, on the birth of her beautiful baby girl. In her absence this week, Kalimando, famouslyso, and Ceci the Great stepped in to catch my mistakes. Thanks, ladies.


Listening to the directions from his GPS, Edward navigated the busy city streets, making his way from his sister's house towards Bella's. Rosalie and Emmett had just moved into a neighborhood Edward was unfamiliar with and he always got turned around when trying to navigate the way back to his side of town.

He'd spent the morning having breakfast with his family, allowing Rosalie the chance to show off her new home. It was in a more upscale area, with perfectly manicured lawns and iron gates. Edward hated the pretentious nature of it all, but it perfectly suited his sister. She'd always been a little vain, obsessed with outward appearances and the image she portrayed to those around her.

Edward had never really cared much about his place in society. Though he'd grown up in a fairly wealthy family, his parents had always remained humble and modest. They lived in a nice home, but in a middle-class neighborhood. Edward's father was a doctor, but his mother had stayed at home to care for her children. They'd gone to public school and immersed themselves in the same activities as their classmates—baseball and cheerleading, activities at the local rec center on weekends.

But where Edward had enjoyed blending in with those around him, Rosalie had been born to stand out. With her flaxen hair and bright blue eyes, she became part of the high school elite—head cheerleader, prom queen, president of the student council. Edward was on the baseball team, but he spent more time on the bench than he did on the field, and being president of the science club wasn't exactly a position that brought immense popularity.

When the time came to go to college, Rosalie was not the least bit interested, but she knew her parents would be disappointed if she chose not to attend, so she enrolled in a local community college. She barely lasted two semesters. Much to their parent's chagrin, she was married to Emmett McCarty before she even turned nineteen. Their parents adored Emmett but were concerned that Rosalie was too young to enter into that sort of commitment; she'd always been a little flighty. She'd proven them wrong as the years passed, however, unwavering in her devotion to her husband. Emmett was the service manager at a car dealership owned by his father, a position which allowed Rosalie to maintain the life she felt she deserved.

Opposite of Rosalie, Edward relished the opportunity to continue his education and was accepted into several Ivy League institutions. In the end, however, he couldn't imagine the thought of being so far away from his family, so he enrolled in a university in the city. It wasn't prestigious by any means, but Edward thought that maybe after four years there, he'd be ready to move on to a more well-known medical school. Of course, by the time college graduation came along, he was already married to Angela. Leaving was the furthest thing from either of their minds, so he stayed once again.

Though they were close, Rosalie's vanity and sometimes selfish nature had always been a point of contention between her and Edward. She didn't understand why he wanted to save the money in his meager trust fund for his future children, why he didn't want a big home and expensive items to fill it. He and Angela had always been more economical, even when their careers had stabilized and they had more free money. They did quite a bit of traveling and bought new cars, but they weren't interested in spending money just for the sake of doing so.

Now that Angela was gone, Rosalie encouraged Edward to do things he wasn't comfortable with. She thought he should sell his home and buy a condo or an apartment in a fancy high-rise. He had considered selling his house to move into some place smaller, but he wasn't quite ready to part with the memories of Angela that were still etched in every corner there.

Rosalie urged him to take frivolous vacations and waste money on things he thought were unneeded and useless, like imported sports cars and expensive suits. He didn't need those things. In fact, he felt as if he needed less. Since Angela's death, he'd saved more, no longer going on vacations or buying anything new. He just didn't care about material things.

Edward shook the thoughts of his sister from his head as he finally entered a familiar part of the city. Switching off his GPS and turning on the radio, he began to make his way towards the address Bella had given him.

Pulling into a space along the street, Edward double-checked the bold, black numbers on the front of the gray building, making sure that he was in the correct place. Grabbing his cell phone and locking his car, Edward headed for the entrance. Though Bella had initially said her day would be completely clear, she'd called him earlier that morning to let him know that she'd be in the lower level of the building, doing a last minute appointment. Her apartment was above her studio.

Looking at the door, Edward admired the elegant swan screened onto the glass. It was the same image that Bella had engraved on her flask. Swan Studios was written directly beneath in an elegant script. Having met Bella at the gallery, Edward began to wonder what sort of artist she was. They'd never really spoken about their jobs, mostly because it wasn't a subject Edward was comfortable with. His current job was mundane and he didn't like to talk about his past as a doctor.

Entering the building, Edward felt his chest begin to tighten as he took notice of all the portraits hanging on the walls. There were various sizes in non-matching frames, capturing brief moments in time for many different subjects. There were weddings and birthdays, new babies and smiling faces. He felt dizzy, his breathing coming in shallow pants, when he felt a presence beside him.

"Sir, are you okay?" a high-pitched voice asked.

Edward wiped the sweat from his brow and ran his fingers through his hair, hating the clammy feeling on his forehead.

"Fine. I'm fine," he replied, unsure as to whether he was trying to convince himself or the woman standing next to him. "I'm here to see Bella."

"Oh! You must be Edward. It'll be just a few more minutes. She's finishing up a session with a client. Why don't you have a seat and I'll get you something to drink."

He didn't feel like arguing as he felt he woman's hand on his back, her face marred with concern. She led him to a comfy-looking chair in the corner before disappearing down a long hallway. Edward leaned over and placed his head between his knees, trying to calm himself down. He hadn't had this sort of reaction in over a year; he thought he'd gotten over the panic attacks.

The woman returned with a bottle of water and a mini muffin, shoving them both into Edward's shaking hands. Edward finally allowed himself a good look at her, taking in her bizarre appearance. Her hair was an unnatural shade of black, sticking out in choppy spikes all over her head. Her lip was pierced and he could just see the edges of a tattoo peeking out along the collar of her shirt. Her pantyhose were ripped and she wasn't wearing any pants, just an oversized shirt that hit her mid-thigh.

"I'm Alice," she said, sticking her hand out to shake. "I'm Bella's assistant. Well, at least until I finish art school."

Edward hummed and shook his head in agreement as the woman continued to prattle on. His ears were ringing and he was still feeling light-headed. He gulped the water down greedily and ate the muffin in two bites, hoping to slow the rolling in his stomach. Images of Angela kept popping into his mind, but he fought them away, reciting random medical terminology in his head.

He was brought out of his stupor by the sound of a little boy laughing. Moments later, a family emerged from the hallway, the father carrying the boy on his shoulders. The mother was holding an infant, a baby girl with a giant pink bow tied around her head. Seeing the joy on their faces, Edward felt a pang of jealousy in his gut.

"You can go on back. Bella's in the room at the end of the hall," Alice said, reaching out to pat him gently on the forearm. Edward merely nodded in her direction, walking on wobbly legs down the long corridor.

Bella was a photographer.

The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, even though he'd met her at the gallery. He'd just assumed that she was a painter or a sculptor. He didn't recall seeing any photographs on the walls that night, but if he were being honest, he really hadn't been paying attention. The tight feeling in his chest grew as he stumbled down the corridor, stopping in the doorway of the large space in the back.

Bella had her back to him, bent over an oversized case as she packed away her lenses. Her lighting umbrellas were still set up, the heat from the lamps shining down on the white backdrop in front of them. Edward felt the sweat gathering on the back of his neck and trickling down his back. He gripped the edge of the door frame as his vision began to blur.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Bella asked as she turned to face him, quickly abandoning her task and rushing to his side. He felt her place his arm around her shoulder as she worked to drag him over to a sofa in the corner. He slumped down on it, unable to hear what she was saying. He felt like he was underwater, the images around him blurry and unclear.

Closing his eyes, he heard the sounds of a camera shutter clicking in rapid succession and then Angela's laugh. She'd saved for months for that new camera, taking on extra sessions and offering a discount on prints—anything to draw in more business. They'd had the money to buy it, but she wanted the satisfaction of knowing that she'd worked for it, that she'd earned it.

When she'd finally saved up the nearly ten thousand dollars she needed, they'd driven across town on a hazy Saturday morning to her favorite camera shop. They'd arrived just as Mr. Banner was opening up the store, the cold weather causing his hands to stiffen and fumble with the key. Angela stood patiently beside of Edward, waiting for the old man to unlock the door, smiling in anticipation.

Angela could have gotten the camera cheaper by ordering online or even going to a larger retailer in the city, but she was loyal to the Banners and their camera shop. She'd often spend hours in their store, discussing lenses and lighting, exposures and camera settings with Mr. Banner. He was a sweet old man and it was easy to see why Angela was so attached to both him and his wife. They treated each of their customers as if they were family.

Edward would never forget the bright smile that lit up Angela's face when Mr. Banner handed her the box with her camera inside. With shaking hands, she'd pulled the body out and attached her favorite lens. She snapped a few photos inside the store, grinning each time the shutter would click. She'd been anxious to get back home and try out her new toy, forcing Edward to pose in the backyard and finally in the spare room they'd converted into a tiny studio.

For what seemed like hours, he had sat there uncomfortably, stiff and unsure. Angela had tried to get him to lighten up and not be so serious, but he was never one to enjoy having his photo taken. Annoyed with him, she'd pulled out her wireless remote, walking towards him as she activated the shutter from afar. The camera continued to flash as she sat on his lap and rested her knees on either side of his waist.

Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

One hand remained on the remote and the other fingered the hair along the nape of his neck. She kissed him lightly on the lips, her free hand moving to linger on the top button of his shirt. He sat there still as a statue, too shocked to move.

"Relax," she whispered in his ear, just as the she'd gotten the first button undone. Her lips continued to linger on his skin as she worked the rest of the buttons free. His hands moved to wrap around her waist, finding their way beneath the hem of her shirt, rubbing along the soft skin of her back.

Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

Edward closed his eyes as she gently pushed on his chest, urging him to lie back on the chaise lounge they were perched upon. He complied, losing himself in the feeling of her mouth moving down his torso, her hands gently caressing his skin. Concentrating on the woman in front of him and not the camera that was documenting their every move, Edward slowly helped Angela remove their clothes one by one, tossing them haphazardly onto the floor.

He reveled in the feeling of sliding inside her, took pleasure in the pain as her nails scratched down his bare back. There were grunts and moans, soft words and whispers as the camera continued to immortalize their movements.

Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

"Edward. Edward," he heard a soft voice whisper as fingers gently caressed his cheek. Edward reached up and held the hand in his own, turning to place a soft kiss against her palm. But when he opened his eyes, expecting to see tanned skin and dark-framed glasses, he instead was met with worried brown eyes and pale, porcelain skin.

"I'm sorry," he managed to stutter out as he dropped Bella's hand like he'd been burned. "I thought...I'm sorry." He shook his head, trying to shake the blurring images from his mind.

"It's okay. Are you okay?" Bella asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I'm fine. I just...I need to get out of here." Standing far too quickly, Edward stumbled as the room began to spin. He reached out to grab the arm of the sofa, hoping to steady his swaying body.

"Okay. Let's just—we can go out the back." Bella once again slung Edward's arm across her shoulder, leading him towards the exit in the back of the studio. Edward didn't question her as she led him to her car, opening the door and helping him slide inside. He didn't even bother to protest when she reached across his body to buckle the seat belt.

The car was silent as Bella drove further away from the center of the city. Edward watched the houses grow sparser outside the window, his forehead pressed against the glass. It was only mid-afternoon, but he felt tired and numb, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a warm bed and allow the memories of Angela to play out behind his eyelids.

When the car finally pulled to a stop and Bella turned off the engine, Edward looked around and realized she hadn't taken him home. Instead, it looked as if they were at a park just outside the city.

"I come here sometimes when I'm feeling claustrophobic or upset or just need a break. I thought we could just sit and hang out for a while."

Edward merely nodded his head and exited the car, falling in step beside Bella as she walked through the grass and moved towards the tree line. When he felt her hand slide into his, he gave her a quick glance and he was met with a timid smile. Edward tried to return the expression but was sure his grin wasn't very convincing.

Bella wandered a few yards into the trees, stopping beneath the shade of a large hemlock. She settled down in the grass with ease, gazing out across the expanse of the park. Edward stood there for a moment, not realizing they'd reached their destination until she patted the ground beside her, motioning for him to sit down.

He sighed loudly as he leaned against the tree, watching the kids running and playing in the grass, their innocence unspoiled. Edward longed for carefree smiles and worry-free days. He couldn't even remember the last truly good day he'd had; he suspected it was before Angela had fallen ill.

"I used to date Jacob," Bella blurted out. "Or at least I tried to. Our fathers are best friends and we've known each other since we were in diapers. I guess I was lonely and he was there and he wanted me. So I just thought I could learn to love him that way. But I just couldn't and he's so angry."

Edward reached over and squeezed Bella's thigh, then placed his hand on her leg, palm upturned. He wasn't ready to talk about himself, but he was willing to listen, hoping his gesture would encourage her to continue. She placed her hand in his and exhaled a loud breath before she started talking again.

"On our first date, he told me he loved me, that he always had. I had barely even let him kiss me and he was already planning out our whole life, talking about houses and marriage and babies, all these things I wasn't even sure I wanted, especially not with him.

"I tried, you know? I thought I could force it, but I didn't feel any of the things he was feeling. It lasted less than a month and almost completely destroyed our friendship. He says its fine now, that he can handle it, but whenever there's another guy around..."

"That's why he was so hostile that night, at his bar?" Edward croaked, his throat dry and tight.

"Yes. I probably shouldn't have taken you there, but I wanted to go somewhere I'd feel safe. I didn't know you that well then and he keeps insisting he's over it. I thought it would be okay because we're just friends. It's not like I was taking a date there, flaunting a relationship in front of him.

"He just makes me so mad. Every time we're alone, things spiral out of control and we both end up saying things we don't mean. I don't even think he really loves me. It hurts, but I'm starting to think that I need to just cut him out of my life completely. The friendship we used to have is gone anyway."

The silence lingered between them. Edward didn't feel like she was trying to solicit his advice, just wanting to share a bit of herself. He contemplated what he wanted to say, knowing he was obligated to reciprocate, but also aware that he wasn't ready to talk about Angela.

"I used to be a doctor," he said, pulling up blades of grass in frustration.

Bella turned to look at him with wide eyes. "Used to be?"

"I stopped practicing three years ago. It was supposed to be temporary, just a short break, but I could never bring myself to go back."

Feeling some of the pressure lift from his chest, Edward talked about his disillusionment with medicine, the months when he sat inside his home doing nothing, watching the days pass him by. He told Bella about how his father had tried to force his hand, how he'd gotten him the job at the non-profit. Edward told her that he hated it, but was too scared to return to his old position at the hospital.

He didn't tell her what the main catalyst for his career change was and she didn't ask, somehow sensing that he'd reveal the missing pieces of the puzzle when he was ready. The day had been emotionally draining and he knew he couldn't handle yet another breakdown that would surely be caused by addressing the elephant in the room.

Instead, he turned his attention back to the children playing in the park, smiling as he watched a chubby little boy chasing a tiny, hairy dog through the grass, shrieking and laughing every time the dog would evade him. Finally, the boy collapsed in the grass, giggling loudly as the dog sidled up and licked his face.

/|P|\\

After a few hours at the park, the pair returned to retrieve Edward's car, and then decided to spend the evening together at his house. Though Bella's studio was separate from her apartment, he imagined she was like most photographers and probably had cameras and photos and equipment tossed about her living space. He wasn't ready to deal with that twice in one day, so he suggested they order take-out and watch bad movies on cable.

TBS was airing a string of cheesy comedies, which suited them both just fine. They sat side by side on the sofa, the tension and stress of the day melting away with each raunchy joke and bumbling mishap. By the end of the second movie, they were chatting away through the films that played, making fun of the ridiculous plots and outlandish personalities of the main characters.

Sometime during the third movie, Bella yawned loudly and cuddled into Edward's side. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to his body. The action seemed so natural; Edward realized that he'd missed that sort of closeness in his life. Since Angela's death, he'd remained closed off and distant, trying to save himself from more heartache. He wasn't sure if he was ready to jump wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship, but he was learning to savor the close friendship he was cultivating with Bella.

He enjoyed the simple ease with which they'd gotten to know one another, the comfortableness between them. Edward knew that at some point, he'd have to reveal the truth of his past to her, but Bella would never push him to do so. It was one of the things he liked most about her. She allowed him to have his space, and unlike his family, didn't try to force him into conversations and situations he wasn't ready to deal with.

As the credits rolled on the final movie, Edward gently roused Bella from her slumber. It was after three in the morning, so he decided it would be best just to let her stay. He urged her down the hallway as she mumbled and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, immediately heading for the guest bathroom. He left her there to complete her nightly routine, knowing he'd left a spare toothbrush and other items she'd need on the counter.

Edward moved into the master, hastily brushing his teeth and throwing on a pair of pajamas. When he returned to the other bedroom, Bella was sitting on the edge of the bed in one of his old t-shirts, once again foregoing the bottoms he'd left out for her. She smiled as she moved to her side of the bed and Edward did the same. Unlike the last time they had spent the night together, however, this time Bella didn't hesitate to scoot closer to him in the bed. She wrapped an arm around his waist and rested her head upon his chest.

Closing his eyes, Edward imagined a different body in Bella's place. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop from thinking about Angela. He rested his hand on Bella's forearm, gently stroking her skin. His fingers began to tingle as he remembered his wife; he could feel the warmth radiating up and into his chest. He remembered the nights they would lie in bed together in much the same way, the whispered conversations about their hopes and dreams for the future.

He couldn't help the pang of guilt he felt. He'd never been able to share his bed and get close to another woman since Angela had passed away, feeling as though he was betraying her memory. The guilt Edward felt with Bella, however, was because he was thinking of his wife while lying in bed with her. Though Bella would never know, he felt as if she was the one being betrayed. There was nothing romantic about their interactions, but there was a certain intimacy there. Edward wasn't sure how to handle his conflicting emotions, so he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

/|P|\\

It was nearly noon by the time Bella and Edward woke the next morning. Bella was practically lying on top of him, her legs intertwined with his and her arms wrapped tightly around his torso. She smiled sleepily at Edward before pulling away, wiping the sleep from her eyes and brushing her hair back from her face. She offered to start the coffee and Edward thanked her, stopping off at the bathroom before following her into the kitchen.

Edward smiled as he watched her opening the pantry and the refrigerator, pleasantly surprised to see that there were actual groceries to be found. He pushed her out of the kitchen once she'd completed her snooping and gotten a cup of coffee, wanting to make breakfast on his own. Once he'd completed the simple scrambled eggs and toast, Edward headed down the hallway and into the living room to find Bella.

He stopped just before entering the room, taking just a moment to admire the woman standing in front of him. The afternoon sunshine was filtering in through the window, illuminating the bits of red in her hair. She was turned away from him, wearing his shirt and a pair of socks pulled up to mid-calf. Bella's hair was ratty and tangled, but he still thought she looked beautiful.

His eyes lingered on the long, thin legs that were exposed to him, and Edward wondered if the skin of her thighs was as soft as it looked. Though he knew he'd never touch her that way, the thoughts still pushed forward in his mind. For the first time, he imagined Bella as something other than just his friend, and that thought scared him.

Wanting to get away from the awkward feelings that he was suddenly having, Edward moved closer to Bella, quiet in his approach. He realized she had something in her hands as he got closer. His heart seized when noticed the worn wooden frame. He knew she must have found it while looking through the books that were haphazardly placed upon the shelves in the far corner of the room. It was the only picture of Angela that he hadn't packed away, and even so, he kept it hidden from view.

Edward kept the photo—a shot of him and Angela on their wedding day—tucked between two old books. He wanted it somewhere he could pull it out easily and look at it when he needed, but he didn't like the constant reminder of it sitting upon the shelf, where his eyes might accidentally catch a glimpse of it without meaning to do so. He wasn't yet at a place where he could look at pictures of her without getting emotional.

Taking a deep breath, he moved to stand closer to Bella, gazing at the photo over her shoulder.

"Who is she?" Bella whispered.

"My wife."


A/N: Thanks to anyone that's still interested and bothering to read this story. My apologies for the epic update fail. I've had the worst case of writer's block. Chapters will post regularly from this point forward, probably two weeks apart until the holidays are over.

Be sure to check out the Pick a Pic O/S Contest, a collaboration between TwiFicPics and FanFiction Writing Challenges. It's a different sort of contest, with lots of banners already submitted. We just need writers to choose one and start writing. Information can be found at fanfiction-challenges(.)blogspot(.)com

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