Locked in a Stony Tower: Removing his batteries? not really... robots aren't natives. We let her slide on that one.

Anonymous Authoress: we concur

Queen Islandzadi: I think it's because I already had an idea for yours? I dont remember

Sorry it's been awhile. Just sorry!


MBDTA Tours

ID#:851750

Access: Granted

Tour: Imladris A

It paid to have friends who worked for MBDTA, I thought giddily as I bounced on my toes. A large group of us were standing in front of the gates of Rivendell, Nickel speaking to a tall blonde elf.

"Gah! I just love these tours!" A brunette on my left squeaked, clapping her hands very fast. "I've already been on the tours to Hogwarts, Narnia—"

"Did you go to Forks yet?" A tiny blonde piped up. "The vampires are so amazing, they—"

"Why would you use MBDTA to go to Forks?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Just take a road trip."

"But I'd miss Edward!" The preteen whined. "And he's the whole reason to go there!"

"No way!" An older, motherly woman interrupted. "Team Jacob, bitch!"

"Team Edward, you old fart!" The blonde shrieked.

As the older woman pulled a spear from an elf standing guard and started to smack the teen, I turned to the brunette. "Why the hell is she in a Lord of the Rings universe then?"

"I was talking to her earlier, apparently her dad wouldn't buy her a car unless she enjoyed a real tour, and not one where half people on the tour only talk in texting language."

I nodded. It made sense. "So how was Hogwarts?"

"Pretty good, no complaints really. I mean, none of the main characters were actually there to give the tour. In fact one of the prefects had some technical difficulties."

"Technical difficulties?"

"Oh, you know," the brunette flipped her hair back. "The prefect broke down and they needed to give him a tune-up before he could continue the tour.

"Also, so the author doesn't have to keep describing me by my hair, my name's Loki." Loki held out her hand.

"Loki?"

"Yea, the author wasn't very smart and didn't realize she'd need names to write this so that everyone gets in, so it's a creative way to shorten the username."

"Huh. I'm Gina." I took her hand and winced as one of her several rings pinched my skin. "So no one at Hogwarts was real?"

"Some were. Just not the tour guides. I mean, the real characters can't be there all the time. And the tours tend to disrupt class a little bit. Some dude in my group decided he really wanted to jump Professor Trelawney, and she still teaches since she's not one of the more popular characters. The students were a little freaked out."

Ahead, Nickel had pulled out her ID card and was arguing with the guard.

"That sucks. I mean I'm coming here only because I know I'll get to meet Glorfindel."

Loki nodded. "Yea, the LotR universe is the only one that hasn't lost all their tour guides. After the initial fangirls came and went even Legolas stayed on to do tours."

Nickel walked back to the group, looking harassed. "Hey! Guys! Listen up! Ms. Hamilton, please put down the spear, we'd rather not return with a dead person, even a Twilight lover."

She pinched her lips for a second then rubbed her forehead. "We've had a slight change of plans. Imladris has been closed to tours indefinitely. We'll be happy to fully refund you," she began shouting over the sudden complaints. "But for now we will return to MBDTA and we can continue today with a tour of Rohan or Minas Tirith."

As the group grumbled (or shrieked in the case of the older woman who was dying to meet Elrond), I pushed past a group of older men and made my way to Nickel. "Hey, what gives? I thought I was finally gonna meet Glorfindel!"

Nickel glared at me. "It's not my fault! Elrond's stopped the tours for reasons he won't give me. He'll have to answer to MBDTA, we pay good money to be here!"


MBDTA Offices

Nickel's POV

The moment I returned I sent the Imladris group with Kelsey's tour of year 1000 Gondor, I turned to Mandy. She was frantically shoving paper at the newest intern from Lothlorien and yelling into a palantir.

"What do you mean? Glorfindel, this is serious! These people paid money to come visit! We've already paid you plenty of money in advance! What—"

I took the palantir and glared at Glorfindel, who sat stiffly at a desk. "What the heck was that? You all couldn't have the decency to let us know the tours couldn't continue before we brought a group?"

"It wasn't my fault," Glorfindel snapped. "Elrond's in a bit of a temper. I'm just passing along the message."

He looked behind him then leaned forward. "Nicole, I'm sorry, really. I'm not entirely sure what's wrong right now, but—"

A gong echoed around the room and Mandy dropped the stacks of papers. "Shoot! We've got another call Glorfindel!"

She smacked the palantir, spun it to face her and waved her hand in front of it, then peered in frantically. With a gasp she glanced in a small mirror she kept next to the palantir and smoothed her hair. "Legolas! What a surprise! I thought you had a tour today!"

"You mean my robot had a tour," he replied, looking a little uncomfortable. "I…well, I was hoping you wouldn't be the one to answer this, but we…ah, we have one of your tours here."

"Yea," Mandy resumed nonverbally abusing the intern and grabbing stacks of waivers. "They should be there."

"No, I mean…she's listening to my father read poetry."

Mandy smacked the intern as she turned to the palantir. "What?"

"I mean—"

"What did you do?"

"Mandy, listen—"

"Why would you subject anyone to that?"

Legolas winced as a shriek erupted from somewhere behind him. "Well, she—"

"Legolas, listen to me. That is a paying customer. You only get to do that to you-know-whats or girls who try to flirt with you…who aren't paying for a tour."

"Mandy, we've got a problem with the tours!"

"Do you want me to take it up with the boys upstairs?" Mandy threatened. Even in the swirling red of the palantir, Legolas paled.

"No, look, it's not my idea! I didn't know what to do with her and she volunteered!"


Tour ID#QI5962

I looked up from my fetal position as a girl with bright blue hair tripped into the room, beaming.

"Is this where all the elves are?" She asked, spinning around to look for them and tripping over her own feet.

I pointed a shaking finger at an elf sitting on a tall throne.

"Oh hi!" She beamed, rushing forward with an outstretched hand. "Thank you so much for opening up your home like this I'm so excited to see everything! Is this where you meet everyone everyday my name's Anna Anonymous, sorry I didn't catch yours?"

The elf smiled cruelly for a moment, then licked his finger and flipped a page of the book on his lap.

"There once was an elf named Harold…"

The screams began again.


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