I hate this.

The High Skool day ended a few minutes ago, but not before I barely dodged an encounter with the Dib-stink.

Correction; I hate him.

I was walking through the filthy hallways, being called another one of those undefined words, and when I turned the corner I saw him talking to another human. A female, to be precise. She had long black hair and brown eyes. Whenever she's with the Dib, she wears some odd ripped yellow jacket. She talks funny.

"... Used to say 'You jerk! I'll expose you for the bully you really are!'" The Dib cried with a familiar enthusiasm. His voice is deeper than it used to be. His head is still big, and he's tall. I wondered what on Irk he was blabbering on about. The female human laughed in an ear-piercing high pitch.

I didn't flinch. Nope. I was just... Uh, doing a quick stretch. Yeah.

The female gasped to catch her breath and spoke...?

"Ah, iz most fun hanging with nice boy like you, Dibu." She said. The Dib-worm's face turned red for a moment. Huh. Maybe he has contracted an Earth disease. Inferior human immune system.

"You're English is getting better," The Dib said, obviously trying to change the subject. "You learn quickly."

They started walking my way. I had to hide in a HighSkoolmates Back-PAK. The female and the Dib-pig walked right by me. The Dib looked back for a second. I held my breath. He shrugged and walked with the other human.

The HighSkoolmate dragged me out of his Back-PAK and threw me into a dumpster.

Now, I'm walking to my base, covered in horrible human filth. It's oddly cold outside. I learned of the 'For Season' ritual, and have concluded that the humans are stupider than I thought. Right now, they say it's 'Fall'.

The only thing falling right now is my will power of not calling GIR and telling him to bring me a stupid coat.

I recognize this area. I must be close to my base. There are some new houses around, though, and different humans than when I first landed on this soon-to-be-conquered dirt-ball. I know the planets main defences now, and with this knowledge, I will make all humans bow toward Zim!

... And the Tallest. Can't forget about the Tallest.

I see my base's roof peeking over the other houses now. It's still the same as when I made it, if you don't acknowledge the extra gnomes and girl scout eating plant. Heh. I'm proud of my defences. I haven't had a doorbell ring or a knock-knock in almost a week. It's so quiet.

Too quiet. I can't see any movement. I don't hear any experiments being smashed or loud squeels coming from the base's interior. This isn't right. This isn't right at all.

I hurry to the front step and yank open the door, shoving the roboparents out of the way. There is no sign of them. I expected them to pop out of nowhere, screaming "I found you!" or even a simple "Squeak!", but there's nothing. This is bad.

"GIR...?" I whisper, hoping my robot slave might just be trying to play a game of 'Hide-and-Squeak'. He might be hiding in the oven, or maybe behind the couch...

"Minimoose?" I call, louder this time. That weapon will come out as soon as I call it, but he isn't coming out. I can't hear them. This is bad.

I run through the kitchen and dash to the elevator; cleverly disguised as a human toilet. I pull the leaver and hear the familiar 'flush'. GIR hadn't tinkered with it.

That can be interpreted as a good thing or a bad thing.

The elevator spits me out onto the laboratory floor. I fall to the ground with a splat. Shaking my head slightly, I get up and run though what I'm going to do.

"Computer!" I call, not frantically at all. Nope. Not even the slightest bit. I tap my foot impatiently. I hear an odd yawning noise and a few small beeps before getting a reply.

"What is it, Zi-Master?" The computer spoke in an Emotionless man-like monotone voice. It almost slipped up, but it greeted me as I so rightfully deserve. Bah, I have no time for this!

"Be silent! There is no time to bask in the glory that is Zim! Activate the tracking device on GIR!" I yell. The computer let's out a small buzzing noise, and then nothing. I hiss in aggravation.

"NOW!" I bark. The computer obeys, and it's screen shows that GIR is... Right behind me. I knew that all along, of course. I was just testing the computers function capabilities.

I hear a giggle coming from behind me, along with a soft squeak. I clench my fists.

"GIR!" I spin around to face my blue and silver servant, only to find him staring at me with distracted glowing eyes and unintentionally choking a darker-purple-than-normal Minimoose in a death-hold. I pull the suffocating moose away from GIR and Minimoose sways in the air for a moment, slightly dazed. My attention turns to the robot that caused my overreaction. He blinks.

"I make the biscuits," He states, plainly. Before I can respond, GIR grabs my leg and squeezes, hard. He begins to cry. "Ah-Ah made dem for you-hoo-hooo!"

My eyes widen for a split second, then I growl and try to shake the robot off. It's no use; GIR has the grip of a giant man eating squid when he feels like it, and apparently right now he feels like it. I shake harder. Urg, this is frustrating! GIR only laughs and cries at the same time.

"Let go of me, GIR!" I order, and for once, the robot obeys. He let's go of my now-numb leg with a happy squeal and runs to catch an imaginary cockroach on the floor.

It has to be imaginary. No inferior Earth-Bug can get through my defences. I AM ZIM!

I turn to Minimoose, who sickly squeaks. He looks like he might vomit. ... Ew.

"Go over there." I gesture towards the farthest corner of the room from me. The moose obeys, gliding wobbly. Meh. I turn to the computer screen again. It's time to get down to business.

"Computer, show me the city's Shopping Mall." I say, ready to get my evil plan underway. A small grunt comes from the computer, but it obediently shows me everything the malls security camera's see.

I hear GIR talking to someone, but I have nothing to worry about. There's no one there.

"Hmm... Enlarge this screen." I point at the camera footage with the most humans in it. It stretches out and I can read the store labels clearer. On of them catches my attention; the one with the humans coming out happily. "Computer! What is this 'Bee-yew-ty Sal-on'?"

The computer buzzes again, then a picture of a store pops up.

"A Beauty Salon, or Beauty Parlor, is where humans go to make themselves look better than they actually do. They change their hair, face, nails and more. Both males and females go to this department, though it is more popular with females." The computer concluded. I smirk.

"Excellent... If I destroy all these... 'Sal-ons', the humans will be helpless against my might!" I laugh. I'm so smart. I doubt any other Irken thought of a plan as intelligent as this!

"But, Master, what does a Beauty Salon have to do with conquering a planet?" The computer asks. Oh, it's so stupid!

"SILENCE! Do not question your superior! We start the operation tonight!" I start laughing again. I abruptly stop as I remember what I wanted to ask the computer. I look directly at the screen.

"Oh, and by the way, what does this word mean..."