Notes - As Neo helpfully pointed out in her review, the brain-switching scene I had in the first chapter actually didn't quite make logical sense; somehow I had them physically switching the location of their bodies. Oops! So I changed the scene around. The end result is the same and it doesn't affect anything in the rest of the story really, and it looks like a lot of you didn't notice anyway, haha. But I actually think the scene is funnier now. So thanks Neo, and onto the rest of the story!


Switcharoo

XX

"There you are."

Shego looked up from her lounging to see Midas walk into the room. She had no idea why he had disappeared, but now that he was back and her new episode of Murderbots was over, she found herself in the mood for a good massage. Especially since her favorite robot, Axey Axle, had broken both its axle and its axe, leaving Shego feeling a little tense as a result. Fortunately, Midas seemed to read her mind.

"Up for a massage?" he asked.

"Sure. Come over here and earn your paycheck already."

Midas gave her a grin and strode forward as Shego got up from the couch, making her way over to the massage table she had set up in the lair's lounge room. Midas was sort of a new experiment for her; she usually threw away her boy toys as soon as she had a little fun with them, but Midas did have some amazing massage skills, and she thought it would be amusing to use him as a way to bug her boss. Especially since she had gotten it written into her contract. She chided herself for not taking advantage of it before, but Drakken was so easy to toy with anyway. She supposed she just hadn't gotten around to it until now.

"Don't look," she chided Midas as she took off her green and black harlequin suit. Not that Midas hadn't seen it all before, but Shego liked to be a bit of a tease sometimes. As Shego sat down on the massage table, she was a little surprised to see that Midas had not looked away at all. Instead, he gaped at her like a fish out of water. A strange reaction from a massage therapist – especially one she was so familiar with - but whatever.

She was alone with Midas, as Drakken had popped by earlier to tell her he was off to go steal some stupid device for his latest plan. He hadn't made any mention of her coming along, fortunately. Shego was having a hard time mustering her usual level of interest in Drakken's newest scheme, which seemed like it was even more harebrained then usual. And since her usual interest in Drakken's schemes consisted mostly in how many laughs they could give her when they failed, that was saying a lot.

Drakken had definitely seemed bothered when Midas popped into the study earlier. Almost too bothered. Like it wasn't just the fact that Shego was loafing around on the job, but that he was actually jealous. Green for the green lady, she thought. Shego snorted at the idea; sometimes her imagination was too vivid for its own good.

"Are you ready?" asked Midas.

"Duh."

"Get ready for the best massage you've ever experienced!"

Lying face-down, Shego frowned as she stared at the lair's floor through the hole at the head of the massage table. Somehow that seemed like a strange comment to come from Midas, even though she was sure the man was well aware of his massage skills. He worked at some pretty high-end resorts, after all. She shrugged it off, anticipating her upcoming massage, but frowned once again as she felt his beefy hands slap themselves against her back. Midas usually liked to start with his fingers; he had a way of getting a reaction out of her from even the slightest touch. Sometimes she thought he wasn't even touching her - just manipulating the air over the hairs on her back with some kind of freakish, quasi-magical massage technique.

But he definitely wasn't doing that now. Her frown turned to a grimace as the hands forced themselves awkwardly up and down her back, kneading the skin carelessly. She'd have dark olive-colored rug burns all over herself at this rate.

"Midas, what are you doing?"

The rubbing stopped, and Midas removed his hands as Shego looked up at him, making sure not to reveal too much of herself. She was suddenly feeling a little defensive.

"Giving you a massage, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Um, it felt like you were karate chopping my spine."

"I beg to differ!"

Yet another bizarre comment. Midas was normally a man of few words – if any words at all – and all of sudden he was saying some strange things. Coupled with his total lack of the magic touch during that last massage, things were getting a little weird. Shego grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself as she sat up from the massage table and looked over her therapist. It was the same old Midas, although he seemed nervous and on edge. Usually he was the picture of calm, quiet confidence.

"What's up with you all of a sudden?" she asked. "Are you high?"

Midas laughed nervously.

"Um, yes? Yes I am?"

"Seriously?"

"Well, I got into Drakken's liquor cabinet and had a little too much to drink."

Shego grinned. She didn't know Drakken had a liquor cabinet, but then he was always hiding things from her. Midas must have been a little nervous about leaving his usual spa resort employment and joining her in Drakken's lair, and decided to find a little liquid courage for his first day on the job. Shego thought it was cute. Not to mention she never would have guessed a few drinks would actually make the man more eloquent. But Midas had nothing to worry about; she was basically throwing money at him considering that all he had to do was sit around and give her a massage, hot rock treatment, a manicure and a pedicure once in a while. It wasn't exactly a taxing job.

"I have to admit that's not the only reason I'm nervous," said Midas.

"Oh yeah?"

"I was kind of wondering if you wanted to eat dinner with me tonight."

Shego blanched at the question. Midas waited for her answer, a smile of anticipation on his face, and she wondered if it was just the liquor making him say that. He had never expressed any serious interest in her before – beyond the physical – but this almost sounded like he was asking her out on a date. She began to wonder if hiring him as a massage therapist to hang around the lair all day had backfired. Was she sending him the wrong signals?

"Er... dinner? I'm not sure if I want to go out-"

"We don't have to go out. I was thinking of eating something right here in the lair!"

"Doctor D didn't go out to get groceries last time I told him to. There's nothing in the fridge."

"Oh, I've got something ready already. I prepared it while I was drinking."

As Shego stood wrapped in her towel, trying to make sense of the sudden change in her massage therapist's behavior, he ran off down a hallway after motioning for her to follow him. She decided to put her usual green and black outfit back on, as she wasn't going to be following him around the lair in a towel. Especially not if Drakken came back – that would be embarrassing.

Shego went down the hallway in pursuit of Midas, who seemed to have been so excited about dinner that he had disappeared without waiting for her. After a moment he came back around a corner and motioned to her again, at which she picked up her pace a little. Thoughts raced through her head as Midas led her up a stairway; if she didn't know any better, they seemed to be headed towards the roof. Had Midas just asked her on a date? Shego honestly couldn't tell. If he did, it was the last thing she had been expecting, and she wondered if she was going to have to shoot him down in a few moments.

Sure enough, the two of them were headed up to the roof. Another stairway led to the roof hatch, and Midas opened it, stepping aside to let Shego step through first. This was one of Drakken's new lairs, built in a secluded area outside of Middleton in the side of rocky cliff-like outcropping, but they were about to walk out onto the top of a tower that jutted out a little from the rest of the lair. Shego had been on the roof before and knew that Middleton could be seen in the distance; it was dark out when they stepped onto the roof, and she wondered if she could see the lights from the city sparkling in the distance. Sure enough, she could. But it wasn't the city lights that caught her eye.

"What is that?"

The table was a few dozen yards away, sitting in the middle of a helipad on top of the tower which Drakken had insisted on constructing just in case he bought a helicopter in the near future. Something that Shego knew he would not be doing. A red tablecloth was draped over the table and lit by the light of several candles on top. A lone henchman stood to the side of the table, next to cart that had been rolled out onto the roof which appeared to be holding trays of food covered by metal lids.

"Please," said Midas, "take a seat."

Midas pulled out a chair and offered Shego her seat. The gesture was a little old-fashioned for her tastes, but she supposed it was a cute one all the same. It was hard to ignore the henchman standing beside the table, who was dressed in a tuxedo instead of his usual red uniform. "What's with this guy?" she said. "You got one of Doctor D's goons to help you?"

"Oh, um, yes. I paid him off. Isn't that right, Ted?"

Ted nodded silently. Midas took the other seat at the dining table and opened his napkin with a crisp snap before laying it out over his lap. Shego ignored her napkin. The henchman removed the silver lids from their food trays, letting a burst of steam rise up from the hot meals as he picked up the plates with an oven mitt and placed them on the dining table. Shego looked at her meal.

Fancier than anything she usually ate, that was for sure.

"Did you make this?"

"I did," said Midas.

A massage therapist and a cook. Shego had to admit that she was intrigued. Of course, the food still had to pass a taste test. She still wasn't sure what she thought about Midas' sudden change in behavior, considering he had probably said more to her in the last fifteen minutes than he ever had during one of her day long spa visits, but maybe he was just in a romantic mood for some reason. This was romantic. Nobody had ever cooked her dinner with a view before. That didn't mean she had any intention of dating someone like Midas, but hey, it was free food. Maybe she'd wait a little while to see what else he had up his sleeve.

XX

"And that's when I told him the next time he was in such a hurry to steal a parking space first, he could thank me for turning him into a candidate for the handicapped spot!"

Midas laughed uproariously as Shego's story drew to an end. "What happened then?" he asked. "Did he try to hop to the store on one leg and go shopping?"

"Oh no, too much pain. He had to call an ambulance."

The two of them shared another boisterous laugh. Stars twinkled in the night sky above them, and the night made its way steadily towards morning. Their food was long gone – not as good as she had been hoping, but not bad either – and Shego had lost track of the time they had spent talking together on the roof. They had jumped from subject to subject, and Shego was discovering that Midas had more of a mind than she would have ever guessed. The man had a number of interests, many of them surprisingly geeky, and he seemed to have an appreciation for supervillainy too. Considering he was a massage therapist for clients like her, maybe that last revelation wasn't all that surprising.

Shego felt a little tipsy from the wine they had been drinking all night, but she knew it wasn't just the flow of wine that was keeping the conversation flowing in turn. Midas had definitely opened up tonight, revealing a personality that she hadn't seen before. His behavior had been strange at first – almost like he was a different person – but she supposed she had never bothered to get to know him in the first place. She found herself growing fond of this new Midas.

"So when did you get to be so evil, anyway?" asked Midas. "Especially if you used to be a superhero."

"How did you know I was a superhero? I don't remember telling you that."

"Er, everybody knows who you are."

Shego raised an eyebrow as she took another sip of her wine. "Really?"

"Oh yes. I recognized you as soon as you came to the, uh – to the spa for the first time."

"Well, the superhero's life wasn't for me. I never got along with my family, but it wasn't just that. All the expectations, the responsibilities, the way people want you to do everything for them and then complain when you break a few rules doing it. And honestly, after fighting all those bad guys in Go City, you end up watching them for a while and getting the impression they're having a lot more fun than you are."

"I see. I think villainy is definitely your calling."

Midas raised an eyebrow suggestively, and Shego was embarrassed to hear herself let out a little giggle in response. She definitely needed to lay off the wine. This night was getting more interesting by the minute, and Midas definitely had a suave streak that most of the buff man-children she had gotten involved with before were lacking.

"What made up you sign up with Drakken?"

Shego knew choosing Drakken had initially been random – she needed an escape from her old life, and Drakken provided it. But that probably wasn't what Midas was looking for, and Shego didn't really want to dwell on her old life too extensively. "Good pay, good perks," she finally said. It was true, or at least it had been when she first signed on. Drakken had been easily intimidated, and coupled with having his henchmen write up the contract, Shego had gotten a pretty sweet deal. "As for why I'm still with him now that I'm pretty wealthy, well – that's another question."

"Wealthy, you say?"

"Yeah. Drakken pays alright, and I do stuff on the side."

"Stuff on the side?" asked Midas, his interest piqued more than Shego would have expected.

"Um, yeah. The occasional scam, bank robbery, extortion. Take your pick."

"I wasn't aware that you – um – that you liked things like that."

"Well, don't get me wrong, it's a way to earn a buck or two, but it's not as fun as the kind of stuff I do with Drakken. The man might be an idiot sometimes, but he has a way of coming up with some wild schemes even if they never work. I give him a hard time, but he's a genius. One of these days we're actually going to take over the world."

Midas smiled at her for a moment, but then restrained himself quickly. Shego wondered if he found her conviction in Drakken's supervillain competency to be naïve or amusing for some reason. It wasn't like he had seen Drakken for more than a few minutes that day, and they hadn't discussed anything much before tonight, so she wondered why he would have any opinion on Drakken's competence in the first place. She was surprised to find herself feeling a little defensive about her boss, and what Midas thought of him.

"So why are you so different all of a sudden?" she asked. "I swear, I can't figure you out tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"The romance, the hidden smarts – no offense, but I thought you were pretty much just a nice body until tonight. You just been holding back on me all this time for some reason?"

Midas set his glass down and looked intently at her. His face was illuminated by the flickering candles in the center of the table, which had melted down nearly to the tablecloth by now. He appeared to be on the verge of saying something to her. Admitting something, maybe.

Shego instinctively drew back – not physically, but mentally. Emotionally. She couldn't deny that it had been an enjoyable night, and her impression of Midas had changed, but that didn't change who she was. If Midas wanted to start a relationship, if all his charm and surprises tonight were leading to that, she knew she'd still have to say no. She wasn't the type for relationships, plain and simple. And yet, as she waited for Midas to make what looked like a confession of his feelings, she couldn't help it. The feeling was there, deep inside: excitement.

"Shego," he said after clearing his throat, "I've been acting differently tonight because, well – because I-"

Just as Midas was about to get to the point, the roof hatch at the edge of the helipad burst open. Shego bumped her knees against the bottom of the table in surprise, knocking her wine glass off the table and shattering it on the roof. It was dark outside and the moon wasn't giving much light, but there was a small service light next to the roof hatch. Shego could see Drakken standing in the doorway. He looked wildly at the two of them and stepped forward.

"What's the deal, Doctor D? We're trying to have a little private time up here."

"Shego, that guy's not me! I mean, that guy's my body, but I'm his mind."

The three of them stared at each other in silence for a moment until Shego rubbed her temples.

"Okay, you're going to have to say that again."

"I'm Midas, and you've been eating with Drakken. He switched bodies with me."

"You fool!" shouted Midas.

Or Drakken. Shego wasn't sure. She needed to take a minute to sort them out.

"How did you escape from the supply closet?" asked what was apparently Drakken's mind in Midas' body.

"I found an Electronic Lock Neutralizer in there with the rest of your junk"

"What? How did a lunkhead like you figure out how to use something like that?"

"It only had one button and a scanner. And it had 'Electronic Lock Neutralizer' printed right on the front of it."

"Nnngh!"

"Enough!" shouted Shego.

She pointed at the person with whom she had been eating, realizing what now seemed obvious. All Midas' strange behavior since he suddenly appeared from his extended absence, his sudden brain power, his horrible massage skills; he wasn't Midas at all. She had been duped, and she was feeling a fountain of rage boiling up from deep inside, soon to burst forth right in Doctor D's borrowed face. "What's the deal?" she asked him. "Why'd you switch brains with my massage therapist?"

The question was simple enough, but Drakken was obviously at loss for an answer.

"To prove a point," he finally said.

"Um – what point?"

"Well, tell me, did you enjoy tonight?"

A blush crept across Shego's cheeks; fortunately it was obscured by the night.

"Maybe," she said. "Until now."

"Have any of those boy toys of yours in the past ever given you a romantic dinner?"

Shego narrowed her eyes. "No, but I don't think any of them ever tried to pretend to be somebody else to have a romantic dinner with me either. And wait a minute, what are you talking about? A romantic dinner? I don't get it, do you like me or something?"

"Well, I – I don't know! Maybe! I've just been having certain feelings lately and I felt like you were lowering yourself by going out with some bleached blond lunkhead-"

"Hey!"

"-my apologizes Midas, but still, I wanted to show you that the only thing you really like is their body, Shego! It was obvious that we enjoyed our night together. You said yourself that Midas was never like the way I've been acting tonight. Don't tell me you didn't find my conversational skills to be off the hizzle?"

Shego groaned at the comment, while Midas furrowed his brow quizzically behind them.

"I can't believe you thought this was going to work," said Shego. "I admit you were a little more romantic than I was expecting tonight, but what did you think? You'd tell me 'oh hey, by the way Shego, I've been pretending to be your massage therapist in an attempt to go out on a date with you in disguise' and think that'd fly? What exactly did you think was going to happen, Drakken?"

"Well, I didn't quite plan that far ahead."

"If you were interested in me, why didn't you just ask me out on a date like a normal human being?"

"Would you have said yes?"

Shego had to admit that she probably wouldn't have.

"Besides, it's harder than you think – when I did it in Midas' body it was like I was in disguise!"

"Yeah, that's not creepy at all. You know what? I'm pretty sure this is grounds for terminating my contract."

"That's crazy, Shego! All I did was a little experiment to reveal our true feelings!"

The candles had melted to stumps a few minutes ago, and a breeze had just blown the wicks out. Other than the service light at the roof hatch, a crescent moon and stars were giving them their only illumination, although Shego could see the lights of Middleton twinkling off in the distance. She wondered if Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable were behind one of those lights. She had been shocked at the news that Kim Possible was dating that dork; she couldn't help but wonder how their relationship had started. Kim must have to put up with this kind of ridiculous stuff all the time, she told herself.

Shego felt a little shock of fright travel through her, actually causing her to jump just a little bit. She had just been wondering how Kim and Ron's relationship started, as if it was somehow a parallel to her situation. But it wasn't like she was starting anything with Drakken. Not when he had just duped her with his ridiculous ploy. She stormed past her boss, who was still standing beside the dining table, and then past Midas, who was still standing near the roof hatch in Drakken's body, and went down the stairway into the lair. The two of them followed wordlessly behind her.

It wasn't long before she reached Drakken's study, letting herself in without asking. She strode purposefully over to the desk and rummaged through the contents of a drawer, ignoring Drakken's small squeak of objection, until she found her employment contract. She flipped to the relevant page and read out loud:

"Shego will not be cloned at any time during or after her employment," she said. "Shego also reserves the right to hire a massage therapist at any time and keep said therapist on the premises of the current working lair."

"Yes, we've established that."

"And," she continued, "any attempts at brainwashing, memory erasing, or brain switching will result in immediate termination of contract and payment of the full severance package outlined on page 42."

"Aha!" cried Drakken. "That's talking about switching your brain with someone else, but I didn't do that! I switched my own brain with someone else!"

"Doesn't matter. The contract doesn't specify which brains got switched."

"Nitpicky, Shego. Besides, I've put you under mind control before, which had to be worse than this – if you had such a big problem with it, why didn't you quit then instead of just beating me up and sticking around?"

Drakken smirked, obviously thinking he had her pegged. Shego was about to reply with a sharp retort when she realized that she didn't have one ready. Instead, she stood dumbly, saying nothing.

"I'd just like to get my body back," ventured Midas from the doorway.

"Quiet," Shego told him. "We're talking."

"Besides," continued Drakken, "I don't think that contract would hold up in a court of law, Shego. I don't even remember reading it!"

"Of course it wouldn't hold up in a court of law, you idiot! You're a supervillain! You must have the phrase 'world domination' written in here like forty times. What court is going to take this seriously? You'd probably get us both arrested if you even showed up at a court of law, dolt!"

"Sticks and stones, Shego," said Drakken. Judging by a quivering lip, however, Shego's words were working just as well as a good strong stick or a large stone. "And do you know what? This whole Midas thing was ridiculous. Why did you even hire him to come to the lair in the first place?"

"I'm incredibly good at-"

"Shut up, you," said Drakken, almost having forgotten that Midas was standing with them in the study. "Shego, you hired Midas because you wanted to make me jealous. You've never brought anyone to the lair before, much less to stand around all day doing nothing but give you massages. You like me and it was your way of trying to make me jealous and get my attention because you like me! Admit it!"

Shego fumed. The temperature in her body seemed to be rising to an unhealthy degree, and she felt herself almost quivering with anger. No, not 'almost' – she was definitely quivering. Of all the nerve, of all the things Drakken had done to her, this had to take the cake. Playing with her emotions the whole night, lying to her, and then expecting it to turn out in his favor? He was sorely mistaken. She felt the heat in her body traveling down into her hands, manifesting itself in a faint green glow.

"Tell me how you feel, Shego. You can do it!"

"You want to know how I feel?"

Drakken nodded enthusiastically.

XX

Drakken woke up painfully.

Finding himself sprawled on the floor of th basement laboratory, he propped himself up on one elbow and held a hand to his head, nursing what felt like an impossibly large bump. It took a few moments, but he finally managed to get himself standing up again. A clock on a nearby lab table read 3:00 AM. He wasn't sure when his little date with Shego had ended, but he had definitely been knocked out for a little while. The last thing he could remember was a flaming green fist flying at his forehead. Definitely a scary sight, but it wasn't the first time he had seen it.

"Shego?"

Drakken looked around and winced at the sound of his own voice.

"Echo, echo, echo!"

Drakken paid attention this time, and sure enough, it was definitely his own voice. He looked down and saw blue skin, less impressive musculature, and realized he was back in his own body. He had felt differently when he woke up; Shego and Midas must have dragged him down into the basement and used the brain switch machine on him while he was unconscious. A very dangerous move, he thought. They should have asked him for help before doing it. But at least now he had conclusive experimental evidence that brains could be switched even when one of them was knocked out.

Shego and Midas were nowhere to be seen. He made his way out of the laboratory and upstairs through the lair; all of his henchmen had gone to sleep by now, and as he looked through the lair, Midas seemed to be gone too. A short hallway led to the living quarters; Drakken tiptoed down the hall to Shego's bedroom door, which was closed. As he held his ear up close, Drakken thought he could hear snoring coming from inside. At least she hadn't left. He would have to talk to her about things later.

Instead, he went into the lounge room and flopped down on the couch with a groan. He could already feel a splitting headache coming on; there was no way he'd be able to get to sleep anytime soon. The empty massage table which Shego had set up earlier in the day sat a few yards away from him. Taunting him. Tonight had not turned out the way he expected, although he admitted that he had not planned his scheme very well.

The basic intention was solid, thought Drakken; by putting himself into the body of one of Shego's muscular boy toys, he could highlight the contrast between his own charming personality and formidable intelligence, and the decided lack of either of those things in the kinds of men Shego seemed to like shacking up with. There was also the added benefit of Drakken feeling more open and unguarded in his feelings when he was inhabiting the body of another person. It was a strange side effect of escaping from your own skin, but it had definitely helped his inner suave show itself during dinner. He just hadn't thought about how Shego would react when he made his big reveal.

A minor detail, really.

"What a disaster," Drakken said aloud as he began to realize the ramifications of what he had done. Shego hadn't quit that time he brainwashed her, but she had threatened to quit this time. Hearing her in her room was a good sign, but she could pack up within hours. Maybe she was just waiting until morning. He felt crestfallen by the idea. Why was she so mad, anyway? What was so different about his little stunt this time? He hadn't even manipulated her mind, only lied to her. Which was certainly not mental manipulation. Well, it was, but not the kind he thought Shego hated. A kind that totally didn't count!

He sighed in frustration. That was definitely the last time he'd take relationship advice from a men's supervillainy magazine.

XX


Notes - One chapter to go, which will be shorter than the first two. Thanks for the reviews so far. :)