As he reaches the foot of the stairs, Anders momentarly thinks of just walking out of the front door and unleashing Justice on the first group of Templars he can find, at least the certain death that would follow would obliterate this horrible ache in his heart. Maybe it would be better for all involved if he separated himself from the rest of the group. If that is to be his choice though, he knows cannot go without trying to explain to Hawke one more time why he had to do what he did. He finds her in the kitchen with Varric. Her back is to them both as she busies herself in the massive walk in pantry gathering food to take with them. Already several large knapsacks are filled to capacity on the nearby table. Anders walks quietly up to the dwarf and in a low voice so Hawke won't hear them, pleads "Please Varric, let me have a moment alone with her" The narrowed gaze Varric focuses on the mage says what is really in the dwarf's mind, but he just curtly nods his head and leaves the room without a word.
Anders walks into the pantry and closes the door gently behind him. "Varric, don't shut the door, I can't see what I'm doing now" Hawke throws over her shoulder, assuming it is the dwarf standing there as she grabs a jar and places it in the pack at her feet. She instantly stiffens as she feels familiar arms wrap around her in the semi darkness. "You're not Varric" she growls, stating the obvious, as Anders leans in to say near her ear "Please my love, please hear me out. I know there are no excuses I can give you. I'm so sorry that you have been dragged into this, it was not your fight" his breath on the side of her neck is warm and just for a moment in the half darkness she wishes she could pretend all this had never happened and they are once again in love and in their bedroom upstairs. He takes her silence and the fact that she has not elbowed him in the ribs yet as a sign he should continue. "Maybe it would be better if I stayed here when you leave, to wait for the Templars to come in search of us. My death could buy you the time you need to get away and hopefully once they have sated their revenge on me, they won't come looking for you." She does elbow him in the ribs for this statement, and as she whirls around he sees the anger burning in her eyes. "NO!" she forces out through clenched teeth. "How dare you, I did not risk my life for you in that damn fight only to have you throw yours away now. It almost killed me when I saw you laying there on the floor, thinking that you were already dead. NO!" she repeats, this time with more force. "You promised me back there that you would never break my heart again, and you are going to keep that promise you bastard"
She moves forward several inches until she is standing right in front of him, the final reserve of her strength suddenly draining from her. "You are going to keep your promise." she faintly repeats. He groans with the nearness of her and suddenly his mouth is on hers as all the pent up emotions over the last twenty four hours come rising up in both of them like a torrential flood. In that moment they do not care that the Templars are probably almost to their door, that they are both still covered in the blood and gore of battle, as they shed what clothes are necessary and he frantically pushes her up against the wall, sending the contents of the nearby shelves crashing to the floor, desperate now in his need to belong to her. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID!" she screams at him but still she wraps her arms and legs tightly around him. They are riding on an overload of emotions now as all the fear, anguish, love and hate combines into a wave of brutal remorseless passion between them. His brown eyes for a moment flaming to blue as his release burns through his body and into hers.
