A Couple Months Ago

Dean gazed down at the angel that kneeled before him. Dean felt the immense amount of much power he had over this pathetic creature. He held its life in his hands and he wanted the 'monster' to know. He looked over at the angel and first took in his handsome wings that were a shinning pearl gray that matched his sterling silver eyes, which still held a look of defiance.

This was a look Dean knew could be broken by any collector, but only one collector stuck out in Dean's mind. Alastair. Dean had never met the man, but the stories his father had told him about the man made his skin crawl and he dealt with 'monsters' for a living. This angel was probably just Alastair's type, but Dean didn't actually know the man's actually type, but the angels John as captured for him were always beautiful and stunning. Dean for a brief moment then felt a small stab of pity for the angel before he brushed it away like it was a nuisance to feel anything for the 'monster'. He wouldn't wish Alastair on any monster.

Dean continued to stare down at the angel his gun never wavering in his steady hand as the angel just stared up at him with a lifeless expression. He seemed to have a strange peace about him despite his current the current situation he was in. Dean had never seen an angel stare at him in so intensely before Most of the angels he captured were passive and normally avoided eye contact with him at all cost. It was like it was sizing Dean up. It seemed like he knew a secret about Dean. A secret that not even Dean himself knew.

Dean broke the gaze when he began to feel uncomfortable staring into the silver irises so he turn to look over at his father who was standing to the side and behind him with a wide smile spread across his face, showing just how proud of Dean he was.

"Kill him Dean!" John's voice suddenly boomed making Dean jerked slightly catching his father's gaze with his own. Dean suddenly felt confused as he blinked at his father to try and find even the smallest shred of clarity behind what his father had demanded him to do.

"Why?" Dean asked slowly, as he looked back over at the angel, whose expression still remained unchanged and mostly blank. Even after John's statement. His father had always told him to take the 'monster' alive if one could because you had to make hunting worth your while. Dean had always assumed that that just meant make as much money off the creature as you could. Now that lesson seemed rather contradictory.

"It'll be worth your while Dean." His father chimed in as he noticed Dean's uncertainty. John then raised his hand and placed it on Dean's shoulder gripping it tightly in a reassuring gesture. Dean was still feeling skeptical about the whole situation.

"I don't see how?" Dean muttered as he went over all the possible outcomes that the situation could have "We should just sell him directly to Alastair." He added the last part rather suddenly.

John let out an annoyed huff before he spoke "Don't worry about the money Dean. I'm rounding up a nice angel just for Alastair." John finished by giving Dean a confident smile "And if everything goes right nothing will change."

Dean stared back at his father with a confused expression, since he hadn't understood anything of what his father was referring too. That annoyed Dean. He didn't like being kept in the dark despite that was all his father had ever done to him.

The angel with the pearl gray wings, on the other hand seemed to know exactly what John was referring to because he shot to his feet and looked past Dean while shooting a dark glare at John Winchester. Dean stumbled back in surprise. No angel had ever been able to stand after getting shot with one of his bullets that had Enochian sigils carved into them that meant paralysis.

"You do realize you can't stop destiny." The angel spat abruptly, which had only made Dean feel more confused about what they were referring too.

John suddenly bristled in anger at the angel's statement. He shoved Dean hard into the ground and Dean heard the reverberating echo of gun shots as he counted the number of rounds his father empty into the angel's chest. Three.

Dean looked up and saw the angel's pearl gray wings quiver as he fell back down to his knees. Dean was horrified as he scrambled back to his feet and rushed over to the angel to grab him before he had completely fallen to the ground. It had been instinctive. He only thought it was strange he had done what he did long after it had already happened.

Dean watched the silver eyes begin to cloud over as the angel neared death, but before all the life from the angel was gone he reached up and grabbed a fistful of Dean's shirt splattering his blood upon it while pulling Dean closer so he could whisper one last thing into Deans ear.

"You have to protect the angel whose wings sparkle silver in the in morning sunlight. You must protect him. You are the only one who can, Dean Winchester." The angel rasped out barely audible before his tense body finally went limp with death in Dean's arms.

Dean gapped at the fallen angel for a moment as question began to flood his mind, but before he could get them off the tip of his tongue. He realized it wouldn't have made a difference anyways because the angel dead. He let only one of his many question escape his lips as he stared down at the angel's corpse.

"Protect who?" Dean muttered as he gently rested the angel's limp body upon the ground.

Dean looked up from the angel and over at his father whose face held a dark expression etched deep within his brow and for the first time in a long time Dean felt truly afraid of his father.

"Come on Dean." His father barked suddenly making Dean scrambled to get to his feet. He avoided eye contact with the man as he hustled over towards him. "You head home…And check on Sam." John ordered as Dean just nodded his head up and down as he turned away and began to trudge back towards the impala.

Dean heard a number of cuss words leave John Winchesters lips just before his father started his own truck and driving off leaving Dean behind. Dean looked at the cloud of dust that swirled around in the wake of his father. At that moment Dean knew his father would be scarce for awhile, and that surprisingly suited Dean just fine. He had no desire to see his father after he had watched him murdered that angel in cold blood. Hunting was Dean's profession, but he wasn't a cold blooded killer. He had higher standards for himself then that.

Dean was a hunter, but he never shot anything unless they had done something to deserve it first. He had only ever killed in self defense and he wanted to keep it that way. He finally reached the impala and yanked its door open, but before he climbed inside he looked back at the angel's body. He contemplated on leaving it where it lye, but decided against it as he popped the trunk open and pulled out a shovel.

It took him a couple of hours to dig the grave and all the while his mind slowly went over the last words the angel had spoken to him. "How do I even know what angel I am supposedly suppose to be protect? Who am I even supposedly protecting this angel from? Why would I even protect an angel in the first place? I hunt them. I do not become buddies with them." Dean thought as he finally the lowered the body into the grave.

"Rest in peace angel." He sighed as he pushed the last remaining pile of dirt into the grave. He bowed his head, but he didn't know why. It just seemed like the respectable thing to do. He then turned and headed back to the impala, not looking back once because for some reason it just hurt too much.


The Present

Peace: n, 1: a state of tranquility or quiet a: freedom from civil disturbance b: a state of security or order within a community provided for by law of custom 2: Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions

Dean had now started to avoid both Sam and Castiel after they wouldn't drop the subject of what had happened on Dean's date. Dean had come home early to find both of them missing, which sparked a large amount of panic that was being too well up inside of him. He only felt his panic subside after he had caught them trying to sneak back into the mansion from an unknown nightclub.

At first Dean was relieved that both of them were okay, but then he suddenly felt upset that Sam had taken Castiel out without him knowing or maybe even without inviting him. For some reason Dean felt responsible for the angel but sure he wasn't about to admit that to Sam and especially not the supposed angel himself.

But now Sam was constantly pressuring Dean to tell him what had happened on the date, which had somehow enabled Dean to come home early and catch them in the act. Dean felt like he was nearing the end of his rope with his brother constantly harassing him about this. Dean could tell that Sam was just being a nosy bastard about the whole thing, while Castiel was just genuinely concerned about Dean.

Dean's fingers slowly traced across the barrel of the pearl handle pistol as he finished cleaning it. He currently felt confused about everything, but he felt the most confused about the angel he was harboring. He didn't even know for sure if the angel he had found was even technically the right angel. He had just taken a chance and had never even bothered to confirm it, and now he gotten too attached to Castiel to care. He was starting to feel things that he never thought he could feel. In fact he had come to the conclusion a long time ago that he was actually incapable. Of course he felt attraction to just like everyone else, but there never seemed to be anything more. That was until he had met and gotten to know Castiel.

At first it was nothing more than just a festering reaction to his presence, but then the less he saw Castiel the more he wanted to see him. To be near him. To just be close to him. To just understand. This was all so conflicting to Dean, and he just was becoming more and more baffled by this.

He placed the gun down gently on his bed as he heard Sam enter by the stopping of his large oppressive feet outside Dean's door, which was then followed by him rapping his fist upon Dean's door. It was open so Dean looked up from the pistol and over at Sam. Dean knew already this was a conversation he didn't really want to have.

"Dean." Sam's voice made him cringe even though he had already known this conversation was bound to come up yet again. He locked eyes with Sam and noticed his confused expression. "Why were you home so early the other day? What happened on your date with Lisa? You don't normally come back home until late the next morning." Sam said in a perplexed tone as he pressed Dean for the answers.

"We broke up." Dean muttered into his palm as he watched Sam's eyes widened in shock.

"What?Why?" Sam asked sternly.

"Because I did something stupid of course. I always end up screwing things up." Dean snapped as he pinched the bridge of his nose and looked away from Sam.

"What stupid thing could Lisa obviously not forgive? I mean she would pretty much follow you to the end of Earth if she could that's how dedicated she is to you." Sam said as continued to press Dean for answers, which just aggravated Dean more and more. Dean's anger was now starting to bubble over little by little the more Sam spoke.

"I said someone else's name in the middle of our foreplay." Dean said through gritted teeth. Admitting this was excruciatingly hard to Dean and he was about to snap as he felt his body begin to shake as he struggled to keep his anger in check.

Sam raised his hands in a skeptical fashion as if he didn't believe it. Dean had been with a lot of girls, but he had never screwed up any of their names up at important times like that….Ever.

"Dean, who could you possibly want to be with more than Lisa?" Sam stammered still in shock from what Dean had just admitted to.

"Look Sam, I know I screwed up but I don't need your help to fix it. In all truth I believe this is probably for the better. Now just leave me the hell alone!" Dean yelled now his frustration, anger, and rage finally getting the better of him as he stood up, pushed past Sam, and stormed out of his room.

He felt overwhelmed. He didn't know what to do, or how to handle things. He just knew that all that what was going on revolved around that angel. Everything had to do with Castiel, but all Dean wanted was just to get back in control. The only problem was that he didn't know where to even start.

Suddenly tears were welling up in his eyes and blurring his vision. He didn't even see Castiel until he collided with him. Dean tensed immediately as he noticed Castiel's honing in on Dean's distress.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Castiel's said in concern as he gazed at Dean with his piercing sapphire eyes.

"Everything is wrong Cass….Everything! Ever since you showed up." Dean screeched as he shoved past Castiel and stormed down the hall turning into the study a resonating slam of the door behind him signaling he was done with dealing with people at the moment.

Dean felt the warm tears crawl down his cheeks as he remembered the look Castiel had and how he had turned watched him leave nearly running down the other direction of the hall. Castiel had looked so hurt because of what he had said and that was all because of Dean. He was already feeling horrible, and now he was just feeling worse. He sighed and slumped down into one of the leather chairs in the study, and he thought. He thought for a long time.


"What do you mean you can't find him?" Dean pleaded, his was voice shaking as he finished his search of the mansion twice.

"I don't know where else to look Dean." Sam sighed as he slumped down on one of the leather chairs, while Dean continued to pace back and forth the study that both he and Sam were congregating in.

Both brothers were now at a loss of where to look. They had searched the mansion high and low after Dean had come to realized that Castiel had somehow and disappeared. Sam was plenty worried about Castiel, but it was like nothing compared to Dean's frantic mother hen worrying. Dean was pacing a hole into the floor and Sam was actually beginning to transition the worry he had for Castiel to his panicking brother. He had never seen Dean so worried about anyone.

"Dean, calm down. I'm sure Castiel is fine." Sam sighed as he tried to calm his brother, even if it was just ever so slightly.

"No Sam! You don't know that!" Dean demanded not once halting his pacing.

"Relax Dean. Where else could Cass go? He can't just fly away." Sam watched Dean flinched but kept on speaking "Plus he doesn't know anyone else. Anyways when was the last time you saw him Dean, maybe you can back track a little." Sam finished slowly as he gazed at Dean cautiously. After Sam's statement Dean bit his lip and suddenly halted his pace while staring blankly at Sam for a very long moment.

"The last time I saw him….The last time I saw him…. The last time I saw Castiel." Dean paused as his eyes grew wide in fear "I yelled at him." Dean paused again "I told him everything was his fault." Dean's voice was small as he remember lashing out harshly at Castiel who had only shown him concerned.

"Why would you tell him something like that? Castiel has nothing to do with Lisa." Sam muttered as he threw up his hand in defeat as he gave Dean a defeated look.

Dean just nodded his head up and down slowly in agreement. The only problem was that Dean could actually only truly half agree with statement, but he wasn't about to disclose that to Sam. He wasn't about to admit to his little brother that the name he had uttered had been Castiel's. No, that was a secret that would hopefully follow him to his grave especially if he had something to say about it.

"I know that Sam. It just felt so much easier pinning the blame on him instead of on myself at the time." Dean sighed as he returned Sam's defeated look with his own "I just feel like it's my job to protect him, that's all." Dean muttered in a low voice as he turned and exited the study leaving Sam behind in his confusion.

Dean walked down the hall of the mansion. His walk then quickened into a run as he raced out of the mansion heading in the only other place he thought Castiel might go, since Dean was more than positive that he would avoid the only other building on the estate. So he ran into the forest that and he continued his fast pace even after he was long out of breath. He continued to push through his chest pain only stopping once when he reached an oval shaped clearing.

This clearing was normally filled with wildflowers of various colors, but since it was the middle of winter the only thing that was growing was the tall grass. Dean recognized it the place he would always come to hide when he wanted to be away from his father and when he just wanted to be alone. Now though Dean wasn't looking for solitude as he gazed around the clearing his eyes only stopping once as he saw a pair of jet black wings protruding from the tall grass a few yards away. He had never felt so relieved to see an angel in his entire life.

Dean crept closer watching the wings intently as they slowly connected in between Castiel's shoulder blades. The wings were stretched out and flexing up and down. Dean was also mesmerized by them. They stunning and for some reason, Dean felt stupid for never having noticed them before. Dean moved closer hoping to not startle Castiel, who laying up his chest his elbows on the ground his head resting in his hands.

If Castiel had felt Dean's presence in the clearing he ignored it and ignored Dean. Dean felt an odd stab of hurt in being ignored by Castiel, even though he deserved it. Castiel continued to disregard Dean as he just examined a long blade of grass that was in front of him.

"Cass?" Dean said in a low voice hoping not to startle the angel.

Castiel didn't move or even acknowledge Dean's presence now either. Dean swallowed and turned to leave the clearing assuming that Castiel wanted to be alone, but stopped when Castiel began to speak.

"You want to know something Dean…" Castiel paused and his wing twitched slightly as if discourage by what he was about to say. "You're right. Everything is my fault." Castiel shook his head in disappointment.

"No Cass, everything is not your fault. I was just angry and frustrated and I took it all out on you…I'm sorry." Dean said as he sat down next to the angel and looked him strait in the eye.

Castiel returned Dean's gaze, but the expression upon his lips showed disgust and self loathing. Dean knew that look all too well, he had seen that very expression upon his own face more than once. It made Dean shiver and he look away for a long moment his attention suddenly drawn to the birds flying and squawking over their heads.

"Dean." Castiel was going to speak again, but his voice faded away once Dean was back to gazing at his eyes. "It was my fault my brother left. That's why I feel the obligation to find him." Castiel spoke unexpectedly and Dean blinked in surprise. He had never heard Castiel mention his past. Dean had only gotten the impression that his life hadn't been easy. He must of have been on the run most of his life, and some memory in which plagued him with nightmares. Dean of course was curious, but hadn't pressed the matter and he wasn't about to now. Not when Castiel might still be upset with him.

That must have been the first time he had talked about his family in months because his voice had seemed distant like he was distracted by the thoughts of his family. Dean could tell Castiel felt uncomfortable talking about it, but if he wanted to talk about Dean would listen. Dean could feel the limits of what Castiel found comfortable discussing so he just smiled at the angel to show him reassurance. Dean had grown rather fond of the angel, but he knew what his boundaries were. Mentioning his mounding attraction just seemed overwhelming and out of place in the current moment so he disregarded the twisting knot in his stomach. The only problem was that things were always changing around Castiel and Dean's growing protectiveness wasn't really helping Dean find the clarity he wanted.

"I don't believe that Cass." Dean abruptly, making Castiel gape in surprise.

"You don't even know the story." Castiel demanded as he sat up so Dean they were both eye level with each other.

"I don't need to know the story to know that it wasn't your fault." Dean said sternly looking at Castiel intensely.

"Then why does it feel that way?" Castiel muttered looking away from Dean and towards the ground.

"I don't know, but I do understand. I have felt the same way after my mother died. It wrecked my father and made him even more twisted then he already was, and ever since that day I have blamed myself for doing nothing. Of course, I know deep down that it wasn't my fault but sometimes it really feels like it was." Dean said slowly and distantly as Castiel just nodded his head up and down.

This had been the first time the hunter and the angel had sat down and had a true heart to heart conversation, where they both realized that they were more alike than different.

"Did you ever get over it?" Castiel muttered.

"No but the pain does fade and sometimes you don't even notice it's there, especially when you have good company." Dean sighed with a slight smile crossing his lips as he tipped his head back and stared up at the sky. "What's it like to fly?" Dean said suddenly looking back over at Castiel who was smiling for the first in a long while. Dean felt his heart skip several beats.

"Let me show you." Castiel said as he stood up and extended his hand to Dean. Dean gave Castiel a nervous look, but he reached out and took Castiel's hand without a second thought.