Emily knew that something was wrong but was clever enough to understand that he didn't want to talk about what ever had happened. She assumed though that it had something to do with Gillian. She had never seen her father this heartbroken and she knew that he loved only one woman enough to be shattered like that.

She kissed him goodbye and left the house. Leaving him alone. It started raining last night and still hasn't stopped. He felt numb. Sick. And before realizing what he did he left the house through the backdoor and sat down a bench in his little backyard. The rain drowned his clothes and his hair clung to his forehead but he didn't feel anything except for the huge hole in his stomach that started to get bigger and bigger since he was at Gillian's last night.

He didn't realize how long he had been sitting there. It must have been hours. He heard the door open and close again and steps coming towards him but didn't bother to look up and see who this unexpected visitor was.

"You'll get a cold."

His heart started to beat faster. So fast that it hurt and he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. How had she found him? Why was she here? Didn't she know that he couldn't take to look at her right now?

"Why would you care?"

He didn't want to sound cruel or cold but couldn't help it. He was still thinking about her and that other man. The sharp intake of her breath told him that she was genuine hurt by his statement.

"You're my best friend, Cal. Of course I care."

"Had fun with your new friend, huh? How old is he? 23? 25? Can't be much older, can he? Sounded pretty young to me."

"Don't be like that, Cal."

"Like what? I don't know what you mean."

"You're jealous. You're happy as long as nobody has me. You're fine with having other women as long as I have no other men. But as soon as I commit myself to a relationship or find a man I actually like hanging around with you get all cranky and try to destroy whatever I have. You don't want anybody to have me but you don't have the balls to come and take me yourself. I won't wait for you, I just can't, Cal. I waited long enough. If you can't have me because of some goddamned reasons you keep inventing then let me be content with somebody else."

He knew she was right. But he didn't know that she knew what he was doing and why he kept doing it.

"That's not true."

"Of course it is, Cal. Stop playing with me. If you want me then say so. But stop pushing and testing me. One day you'll push too far and I'll be gone."

This was it. He could end this all with just three words. I want you. I LOVE YOU. But instead of these he found himself say three totally different words: "So go then."

A minute passed. She nodded and stood up. She was drenched as well. The rain hit her face and he knew that at least one of these raindrops was a salty one.

"Ok.", was all she said and he watched her turn and leave. He wanted to call her. STAY. But his mouth never formed this word. It echoed in his head, but he never found the words to say it. As if she could read his mind she stopped. But didn't turn.

"I was jealous. And I never slept with him."

His heart stopped. Why couldn't he move? Why couldn't he speak? She was walking out of his life and he didn't do a damn thing about it.

He broke down as she walked away.