He finally caught up with her on the street. She was running to her car. Or whatever you call it when women try to run in their heels. She tried to shield her hair from getting wet with a folder but managed to let it drop and cursed loudly. Bending down she tried to quickly pick it all up before it would get soaked with water.
Stopping her hands with putting his over hers he willed her to look up at him. When she finally did he could see that she had been crying. Damn Gillian and her tears. They always made him soft. But right now he didn't care about how soft or weak he was.
Her hands trembled and she cleared her throat. Trying to say something. But nothing came out. She was afraid. Hurt. Heartbroken. All because of him.
"I don't want to say goodbye."
"Sometimes you have to."
"Gill… lov…don't say that."
She turned her head away from him.
"I'm a coward, Gill."
She still didn't look at him.
"I should've told you long time ago, but I just couldn't find the words to say. This love seams real to me, Gill. I felt this way since we became friends. I don't want to say goodbye."
He cupped her face gently and turned her to look at him.
"Stay. Stay with me, Gill. Say you changed your mind and stay with me."
She shook her face no.
"I love you, Gill. Don't leave me, please don't. I couldn't handle it, couldn't take it. I can't give you up. Do you know how it feels to let you go? I broke down when you left me the other day. Stay, Gill. Stay with me. Please. Stay."
"Cal…no…"
"Gill…don't go. Don't leave me. Change your mind and be mine. I want you, Gill. I need you. Just say you stay and let me fix this."
"You can't, Cal. This would never work. We would never work. We're just too different from each other."
"We complete each other, Gill. I love you and love me. There's nothing more we need."
"Since when do you believe in love?"
"Since I met you."
He surprised her. He heard and saw that sharp intake of breath and decided that it was a good sign. He saw something flicker over her eyes again. Love. This time he was sure. He couldn't give up now. She was getting to her feet and walking towards her car again, but this time he was quicker. He stood in front of the driver's door and blocked her way. He'd tie her to a traffic light if that would keep her from walking away from him and listen to him for a second.
"It's true, Gill. You can see it. Read me. I show you everything you want. Just don't leave. I couldn't take it, Gill. I just couldn't. Don't let me do this alone. Help me here."
"You will change your mind, Cal. You will see a new woman, one more interesting than me, and leave me heartbroken behind you."
"I would never!"
"You already did."
Her words hit him like a slap in his face. She was right. He already did that.
"I'm sorry about that, lov. Just give me chance. Let me show you how much I mean it."
"I can't, Cal. Just let it be. Let's forget about that."
"No. I can't forget it. And I don't want to. You gave Alec so many chances. And don't say that it was because he was your husband. You never loved him as much as you love me. I could see it. And Burns! You gave him a chance. Although you knew what he was doing! You knew how quickly this could end. But you still gave him a chance. Why can't you give me one?"
"Because I love you, Cal. Don't you get it? I gave Alec so many chances because it was my job as his wife to at least try and make this marriage thing work. And Burns…Burns was…he was safe. I knew that I would never love him as much I love you. I could be with him until…I didn't have to be lonely with him while you were…"
"I wanted them to be you. All of them. I imagined they were you. It was your lips I was kissing, your hands that touched me. I know it was stupid but I was afraid. I was afraid that you would hurt me. That you wouldn't love me. That I would mess up. But I realized that I can't be without you. I need to know. I need to know if we have a chance. Stay with me, Gill. Be mine and I will be yours. Just stay."
He begged her. She saw it in his eyes. Desperation. He didn't know what else to do, what else to say. She pushed him gently out of her way and opened the door of her car. Before getting inside she turned to look at him again. He had tears in his eyes.
She slowly closed the door and walked towards him. He prepared for the final goodbye. In the pouring rain.
"What's wrong, Dad? Have you been crying?"
"No."
"But your eyes are red."
"I peeled onions for dinner."
"We ordered take-out today, Dad."
"I didn't cry."
"Ok. Something happened at work?"
"Work's fine."
"Dad…"
He could practically hear her rolling her eyes at him.
"It's nothing."
"That means it's Gillian."
"Eat your dinner."
"I already finished mine. You didn't even touch yours."
"I'm not hungry. It's late. You should go to bed."
"It's seven, Dad. And you're deflecting."
"It's none of your business, Em."
"She loves you, too."
His head shot up. She could see tears burning in his eyes but choose to ignore them. Her father didn't want her to see him like that. He didn't want her to think of him as human. For her he always wanted to be superman. The man who could do it all, fix it all.
"She doesn't."
"I was at the office today. I talked to her."
"You did?"
"Yeah. She must have peeled onions just a second before I came in."
Cal looked at his daughter puzzled.
"Cause her eyes were red as well."
