There memories of Dean are gone, as per his instructions. Not even an inkling of the man remains in their conscious minds. But Cas knows that he could again recall those memories, bring them back to both Ben and Lisa without trouble. They have meant so much to Dean.

Now he is in their house, sent to search the rooms for physical remnants of the hunter in their lives and likewise remove them. When he crosses the threshold and sees the corpse, a profound sadness wells up in his chest. This innocent man, whose only crime was loving a woman, was sentenced to death for his transgressions, his feelings.

Castiel tries to harden his heart. He has killed (two) brothers this week and many (sixteen) others in the last few months alone. This solitary death of a human should not weigh so heavily on his grace; he was not even the one to twist the human's neck, feel bone and muscle strain, until it snapped.

Castiel does not even know the name of this man. He could have been anyone in life, a lawyer like Sam had wanted, or a mechanic like Dean sometimes dreamed himself, or an autistic man who would drown in the tub, like Castiel's favorite heaven.

Regardless of his life, this man, with all the opportunities of the world, was struck down by Crowley's demons. Because of Cas. Because he could not protect the Winchesters well enough.

Castiel sighs. A so very human gesture, so very fitting to the moment. He takes the body and lays him to rest.

Back again, Cas cleans the floor of any remnants of blood, cleans the air of the stench of sulfur, and goes deeper into the house. There is very little in the way of physical markers of Dean Winchester in the house of Lisa and Ben Braeden. There are, though, pictures of Lisa and Ben with the nameless man that Castiel had just lain to rest.

She was moving on with her life. The thought is one that Cas knows would make that pained smile cross Dean's face. The one that shows he is again giving away a part of his own happiness for the better of others. Cas decides he will not tell Dean this.

Castiel removes Dean's numbers from their phones, pictures from albums, the box of hunting knowledge hidden in Ben's room under his bed, the traces of an Impala in the garage, mentions of him in diaries and notes and journals.

Unlike the memories, these are things that cannot be easily put back in their rightful place. These are things forever lost, victims of this ongoing, long, bloody war.

Castiel is almost done. He spreads his awareness, looking everywhere at once, to find any remaining glimmers of Dean. He finds one.

In the desk drawer, there's a picture. Dean and Lisa. Both smiling and looking straight at the camera—at Castiel. Cas picks up the photo, looks at it closely. Dean looks so much younger here. So much happier. Dean's leaning over Lisa's shoulder, a light to his eyes that Castiel's not sure if he's ever seen there.

(Maybe once, but that was so long ago and… it does not matter now. He is at war.)

Castiel hesitates. He should burn it like all the other things that have had Dean's mark, turn them to ash with a thought and a pulse of grace. But his fingers twitch around this still frame of Dean's life. His 'apple pie life'. Cas knows how much Dean likes pie.

Castiel's hand, almost against his will, slow and stilted, slips the photo into the recesses of his trench coat. It burns hot through the fabric, in a way the talisman in Cas's search for God never did.

When this is over-If Dean…

When this is over, Castiel can return here. To the house of Lisa and Ben. He can give them again their memories of the most amazing man—being—that Castiel has ever met. He can give them that joy. And Dean can again come back to them, where his face was so young and his eyes were so bright, and live happily.

That is what Cas is fighting for. Dean and Sam and Bobby, they just don't seem to understand, but all Cas wants, all he's ever wanted, was for their happiness. He will stop Raphael from starting the apocalypse. He will not allow all of the hard work—the sacrifices—that Dean, Sam, and Bobby have made to be in vain. He will do whatever it takes to make sure that once this is over, they are in a world where they will be able to live their lives in any way that so pleases them. Even if it takes everything he has, (his grace, his life, his…humanity) Dean and Sam will be happy.

"It is done." He says to Dean, who does not look at him, nor acknowledge his presence. Cas's heart aches, but Castiel merely nods at the unspoken dismissal and leaves.

(The photo burns in his pocket)


I swear that was Destiel, it's just in Cas's mindset and he thinks that he's lost Dean and Sam forever, and so he wont even let himself entertain the possibilty, thus he is just trying to make Dean happy. because if Dean is happy, than surely he can be too.

anyway, hate it? really hate it? want it to burn in the firely pits of hell, strung up on the rack? do tell!