Ridiculous pressure caught in my ear and I can barely hear. Thanks to the pain caused by this, I've taken so many Advil I may be completely stoned right now… well, since that stops any possible social interaction in its tracks, and it's perfect for writing crack, let's just write fan fiction!
Oh, and I think this is one that anyone who has played a first gen pokemon game has noticed, and called impossible. But we'll see aboot that (how Canadian of meh)
Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon, so don't bug me about – err, aboot it.
Xxxxxxx
NPC: a man south of Mt. Moon.
NPC dialogue: Whew… I better take a rest… Groan… That tunnel from CERULEAN takes a lot out of you!
My thoughts: Well, I think anyone who's played a pokemon game that takes place in Kanto has seen this, because the fact is, it's impossible to climb through Mt. Moon, from the cerulean side, to the Pewter side. There are ledges in the way. Now, there are two sticks I know of to get back to Pewter from Cerulean early in the game, so both will be mentioned here. Now let's go!
Xxxxx
"Step right up folks, step right up! Be the first man to climb backward through Cerulean cave and win a 1,000,000 yen prize! 100 yen to enter! No refunds!" a stereotypical carnie voice rang over a mega phone over Pewter square. "We're only looking for the roughest, the toughest, and the best competitors! Also, we accept anyone who pays the 100 yen entry fee".
"Hey boss", a scrawny kid, no older than sixteen, said to a much burlier man next to him, "you should enter! You really should, I mean you're the best hiker there is, ain't'cha! You are you really are!"
"Nah kid, I don't need the money, and that cave's impossible. This is just a scam", the man said.
"Heh, what was that sir?" the man with the mega phone and carnie voice asked when he heard the hiker. "This ain't no scam see! Ladies and gentleman, this big bloke here thinks I'm pulling a scam! Now I'm a man of honour! I wound never pull some low down dirty trick like that. But I guess I can forgive 'im, I mean he's obviously got some problem see'n as 'e's too chicken to even try!" He started to mock the hiker by flapping his arms about and make noises that compared him to a chicken.
"Yeah, he's just scared", one woman yelled from the crowd.
"Yeah! You don't have to insult this carnie sounding guy because of your problems! Besides, he's also my loan shark!" a man added.
"Hey, I'm not here to start any trouble", the hiker said, "I'm just passing through, healing up my pokemon at the pokemon center, and leaving".
"Oh yeah, well I think you just think you're too good for this, don't chya!" The man with the mega phone continued. "Too good for all of us too, huh!"
"Now that's a dirty lie!" the kid spoke up, "Hiker here would never-"
"Fine, I'll bite", the hiker interrupted him. "But let's make it a lot more interesting. I'll wager in 10,000 yen, but if I do it, then I get that 1,000,000 yen prize, and you gotta get out of Kanto for good. Bother some other region with your scum".
"Ha, if you got the cash, I'll gladly take it".
The hiker walked through the crowd, the kid following proudly behind. He reached the man with the mega phone, took out his wallet, and counted out 10,000 yen into a pouch. "There you go. I'll heal my pokemon and stay at the center tonight, and in the morning I'm doing this climb and kicking you out of my region".
He walked away, leaving a very bad taste in the mouth of the man with the megaphone.
Xxxxx
"So how you gonna make that hike, Hiker?" the kid asked once they were settled in the pokemon center on the couches.
"Heh, I don't know yet. And maybe it really is impossible to climb the two foot tall ledges on the Cerulean side, but hell if I'm gonna let that jerk of a scam artist get away with this".
"But what if you can't do it? You won't be able to show your face in this town again!"
"Relax kid", the hiker instructed, "Get some sleep. We got a long day ahead of us".
Xxxxx
The next morning they woke up and headed for the pokemart.
"Give me all the ultra-balls you have for sale. And throw in a few great-balls". The hiker dropped a pouch of cash on the counter.
"You sure you don't need any potions or anything? That cave can get pretty tough", the cashier warned.
"Nah, my Rocky's a tough pokemon. Worse come to worse we just use defence curl, and rollout our way to the closest exit".
"Okay then". The cashier threw a dozen or so balls into a sack, and handed it over the counters.
"Hey kid!" the hiker called his young companion from across the store. "Hurry up, we're leaving!"
Xxxxx
The two soon made their way to the entrance to Mt. Moon.
"So we heading in?" the kid asked.
"One sec. first we gotta visit the pokemon center that's near here".
"But we visited the one in Pewter just a last night, and we haven't had any battles since then".
"Trust me kid, I got this all figured out". He walked to the pokemon center entrance, the kid at his heel, healed up quickly, then headed out, and into the mountain.
The trip through the mountain wasn't tough. The second they stepped in, the hiker released his Golem from its pokeball, and a few mega punches, and magnitudes easily kept the wild pokemon at bay. It took less than three hours for them to get to the exit in Cerulean.
"Wow Hiker", the kid stated, "You did it! You actually did it, with no problems".
"Please, we just went through the cave. We're supposed to meet an associate or something in Cerulean, to prove we got there. Once we get to the city, we can't get back to the cave".
"So how are we going to get back?" the kid asked.
"Don't worry about it. Right now we just gotta catch as many zubat as we can".
"Zubat?"
"Yeah. You wait outside, away from the wild pokemon. I'll catch a few then meet you out there". And with that the hiker walked away, back into the cave.
The kid sighed. "What could a hiker do with zubat?"
Xxxxx
Once the poison flying pokemon were caught, the hiker met up with the kid outside. They then jumped a number of ledges down to Cerulean City. As they entered the town they were greeted by the associate they were supposed to meet, and they confirmed the two had made it.
He offered to escort them to the pokemon center, but Hiker declined without a second thought and asked for directions to the nugget bridge. He told them where to go, and the two were off, north of Cerulean.
"So… Oh, I get it!" the kid stated, while the hiker scanned the tall grass with some binoculars. "We just gotta battle until all our pokemon faint! When we white out or whatever, we'll be teleported back to the most recent pokemon center we've been to, and that was on the other side of the cave!"
"You're close kid", the hiker said, not even bothering to look up from his binoculars, "and clever too. But you're also wrong. The rule of game over only applies to the main characters. We're NPC, so we don't get teleported back to a pokemon center when all our pokemon faint".
"Well then what are you doing?"
"There are other ways to teleport… THERE!" he dropped the binoculars and sent out four zubat. The quickly surrounded a patch of grass.
"What are you doing?" the kid asked.
As if to answer his question an abra poked its head out from the grass to find itself surrounded by the zubat.
"Now, all of you use supersonic!" Hiker commanded the pokemon. Before the abra could try to escape it was bombarded with numerous sonic waves, sending it into total confusion, and rendering it unable to move.
"Kid, pass me the pokéballs!" the hiker asked.
The kid obeyed and reached into the backpack, and handed pokéballs to the Hiker one by one; Hiker quickly tossing them at the confused psychic pokemon.
It took about five ultra-balls before one finally held and caught it.
"Yeah!" Hiker shouted. "We did it!" He grabbed the pokeball and held it in front of the kid. "You see, this pokemon, abra, has the move call teleport, which brings it's trainer to the last pokemon center they visited. We use this move, and we're back on the other side of the cave!"
"Oh, cool", the kid said.
Hiker released abra from its pokeball, and then commanded it, "Teleport!" Instantly, Hiker, abra, and the kid were all brought back to the pokemon center on route three, just a short walk from Pewter.
They made their way back to the city and were greeted with open arms. The scam artist who had challenged them the day before grinded his teeth seeing them walk into town. The hiker walked up to him and snatched the prize money, and said with a wide grin, "Get out!"
Xxxxxxx
Just gonna give a little self-review here. Good idea, not all that well written. Sorry if it's a little confusing at times, but it was a difficult chapter to write, and as this is crack I wasn't willing to spend another 1000 words, and an hour or two trying to fix it up. Well, I hope it was enjoyable for some people. Next one won't be as… off.
And so we go.
