"I wouldn't have thought you'll come."
I smirk and keep my eyes closed.
"You're here to lecture me or what? Get lost already."
The white haired guy lift his head, looking at me with an unhidden sadness. Is almost shocking to see him showing his pitiful feelings. I turn my head, looking at his grave. So overweening. Even though they hated him so much, all the fuckers cried their hearts out, even the grave makes him looking like a hero or something.
"Do you want to know who killed him?"
I continue to grin. This guy becomes annoying.
" Kakashi, don't think disgusting things about me. It makes me puke. "
He thinks I'm gonna kill the guy who took Naruto away. I'm not stupid. I hate him so much that I won't wash my hands in his killer's blood. I would do that for my brother, for my family, for their dead bodys, but never for Naruto. It's because of this feeling that I have towards him which I can not understand. It's something more complex than the hate for those who ruined my family, but combined with something much stronger than the love for my brother. I can't forgive him for letting me to see alone the continuation of our sins.
" I won't forgive him."
Kakashi stays calm. He lifts his head slowly, looking at the rainy sky. It feels like the wind carrys away our depression.
" I think that by his death he accomplished his dream. "
I turn and look at him. Is he dumb? How could Naruto accomplish his dreams by dying like a stupid ninja, without fighting? And it's more curious that this words come from Kakashi himself, who knows better than anyone what means to die like this: running from death and chasing life instead.
" You are back. "
" I'm not. I'll go away after this."
" Yes. After this, but now you are here. That was his dream."
Suddenly, my body feels heavy and my mind begins to break in small pieces. The labyrints' walls are getting higher and higher and the darkness of them is so deep, so deep that I almost lose myself within it. I lower my head, hiding my face in your hands. I try to have these illusions, small bitter illusions.
Your blond hair is carried away by wind, while the azure eyes shone with ignominy.
"Sasuke."
I can feel his thumb rubbing my left cheek. Is so rough, but it feels good. I've never remarked that he's a bit taller than me. I lower my head more than before like a child aware of his mistakes.
It feels so damn alive.
" You're always tamed when I do this."
I can feel his smile even though I can't see his face. I'm not an animal, but in a way or another, this thing is relaxing. It somehow reminds me of mom.
"If you had been a cat, I bet you would have purred. "
I hit his belly with my right fist, trying to remind him that this isn't the time or place for silly jokes. Is he really dead? For me he's as stupid as always.
I try to look at myself. When have I become such a selfish bastard? Now I even try to cling to a person that no longer exists.
" You're so dead. " I said, rubbing my head in his chest, trying to convince myself with the fact.
" You don't have to be so gloomy. "
" Who's gloomy? "
He's patting me while his left hand is ruffling my dark hair. These are the only moments when my labyrinth is intimidated and refuse to come out to face Naruto. It's like a coward. One I can't understand. It has always been like this. Everytime Naruto approaches me, the labyrinth becomes smaller and smaller to the point that I can squash it.
"You have not kept your promis. "
" I guess life wouldn't let me do it. It was so hard - and it still is - . Am I really such a chicken-hearted ninja?" He said, laughing noiseless, in a manner that I couldn't remember as being his.
Naruto never said something bad about his person. He's always so happy-go-lucky and idiot that gets on my nerves. I wonder what's going on.
I can feel his arms around my chest, hugging me to death. It's like all his regrets and sadness is directed to me. My heart feels so heavy, I've almost forgot that I have one until now. Why are these foreign feelings coming to me?
Enough.
I push him, lift my head and scowl. This was nothing like Naruto. Such a cheap illusion, I am really no good at these. After what he've done, now he's fucking trying to give me all his bullshits like I'm some priest or something!
I close my eyes and try to remain calm.
For the first time in my life I want to go blind. I don't want to see his pitiful face looking at me with such a bad painted smile.
And then I realize.
" You're not a coward, Naruto. You're a sinner. "
His eyes are filled with astonishment. He gape at me, trying to figure out what I'm saying. His mind is so slow, it always was and always will be.
"A sinner, you say. "
I looked away. His face was too much for me. I'm gonna kill him anew if he does that stupid thing again. He wanted me to keep all his shit. I can't believe it!
"Sorry Sasuke, for a moment, I really lost it. The courage, I mean. "
And he's gone.
"Live for both, Sasuke, and let's meet some another time to talk about our sins." Said he before he could escape to the eternal serenity.
