This chapter is going to be mostly one shower sex scene. Is that bad? I don't know. I don't even care. I don't know how I'll end this. Fuck. I feel inadequate. *PAIGE HAS NO PLANS FOR WHERE TO GO WITH THIS FIC.*

I don't own Glee, unfortunately.

Waking up in your boyfriend's bed completely naked and with your limbs intertwined is a great thing, Blaine thinks as he wakes up Saturday morning and snuggles closer into Kurt's neck. "Mm," Kurt moans lightly in his sleep and clutches at Blaine's hips, pulling him as close as he can possibly get. Blaine kisses Kurt's collarbone briefly before closing his eyes and simply breathing Kurt's scent in. He loses track of all time and has no idea how long he's lying there until Kurt wakes up with a yawn and a rub of his eyes which reminds Blaine somehow of a kitten.

"Good morning, beautiful," Blaine murmurs, looking up at Kurt through his eyelashes. Kurt smiles and stretches his arms over his head, yawning again. "Hi," he whispers. Blaine scoots up a little bit to kiss Kurt's nose and then leans into Kurt's ear. "We never cleaned up last night," he growls seductively, and Kurt slowly but determinedly pulls them into a sitting position. "You're right," he says, "we didn't. Would you want to do that now, or…?" Blaine smiles mischievously and whispers, "Come on, let's go preserve water." He pulls Kurt off the bed and into the bathroom. Kurt lets out a breathless giggle and prances- prances- over to turn the shower on while Blaine grabs the nearest towels and sets them out. They share a sweet kiss before hopping in the shower.

Much to Blaine's surprise, Kurt drops to his knees the moment the shower curtain is closed. "Oh," Blaine stutters, trying not to scare Kurt. Kurt looks up at Blaine, his eyes wide, begging for acceptance. Everything about the look on his face just says, Tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it. Blaine rushes to reassure Kurt. "No, no, Kurt, not like that, I just- I was under the impression we would be doing things the other way around." Blaine flushes to the tips of his ears and halfway down his chest, and Kurt pulls his eyes away from the wonderful things it does for his skin tone in order to perk up. "Blaine Anderson, have you learned nothing? I. Get. Shit. Done. Now shut up while I suck your cock, okay?"

Blaine couldn't have responded if he wanted to, because in addition to the wonderful, terrible things that Kurt swearing does to his body, Kurt is suddenly literally doing things to his body, and it's the most Blaine can do to just stand there and not thrust harshly into Kurt's mouth. He's reduced to a stuttering puddle within half a minute, and Kurt doesn't stop or slow down or anything. Blaine manages to whine, "Kurt- Kurt, I'm-" in an attempt to warn Kurt, but Kurt just goes to town, humming around Blaine and eliciting a positively needy moan from the boy. Blaine comes in Kurt's mouth, and Kurt looks up at Blaine's face while he swallows all of it.

When Blaine comes down from his orgasm, he opens his eyes and looks down into Kurt's before Kurt looks away. For that moment, when their eyes meet with Kurt's mouth pulling off of Blaine's cock, they have a wordless exchange. Kurt lets Blaine know that he is perfectly okay with doing this for the rest of his life if it shows Blaine how much he loves him, and Blaine lets Kurt know he won't have to. Kurt stands up and kisses Blaine deeply before resting his forehead on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine murmurs, "Kurt…let me…" Kurt shakes his head. "No, Blaine, we…we have to get clean. We have to do what showers are made for." Blaine chuckles and whispers, "I always thought showers were made for sex. I must be delusional." Kurt snaps back into serious bitch mode, and smiles humorlessly at Blaine. "You are delusional, love. Now hand me the shampoo." Blaine sighs and does as he's told, leaning in to Kurt's ear and murmuring, "You'll let me wash your hair, though, right?" Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Blaine Anderson, is everything sexual for you?" Blaine lifts up Kurt's chin gently until Kurt is staring into his amused eyes. "Kurt. I have a beautiful, naked, wet boy in front of me. Yes, everything is sexual right now. Because for as long as you exist, I will be filled with love and lust, and sometimes I let the lust take over for a while. Is that so wrong?" Blaine's voice gradually changes from seductive to loving and persuasive until Kurt gives in. "I suppose when you put it that way, it makes sense. Knowing me and my hair, I hope you understand how big of a step it is for me to let you touch it. I'm putting my life in your hands right now, and you better not screw it up," Kurt says as he pours just the right amount of his salon shampoo into Blaine's hand. Blaine smiles softly, knowing better than to make fun of Kurt's obsession. "Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn't dare," he says with just the right balance of sweetness and love that Kurt believes he's not being sarcastic. Blaine massages Kurt's head rhythmically- somehow still managing to make it into a sensual ordeal- until the shampoo is saturated in his hair and he rinses it out.

Kurt does the same to Blaine, but instead of turning him on, Kurt utterly castigates him for his hair care routine. "You've got to stop using that gel, Blaine, it's terrible. I can give you a tutorial- I have products that can hold your hair in place without making it bulletproof." Blaine just stands there, taking it like a man and nodding, knowing that he'll have to go through with all the promises he's making Kurt but not caring because Kurt's voice is just so pretty and he can't even understand the words but he just can't stop thinking about Kurt's voice and how much it can change. Blaine makes a mental note to casually mention Kurt's vocal range and try to find out exactly how low or high Kurt could sing if he wanted to. Blaine, being a Dalton Academy student, is of above average intellect and is quite good at multitasking, but he still can't bring himself to actually listen to Kurt's words. After a while, Kurt grabs Blaine's shoulders and turns him around to rinse out the shampoo, which brings Blaine back to reality for a second, until Kurt starts nagging again. They get clean eventually, though Blaine isn't paying any attention at all until they climb out of the shower.

"I love you," Blaine says dreamily, staring into Kurt's eyes. To Kurt's credit, he doesn't look the least bit surprised. "I love you too, Blaine," he says, blushing a little bit but otherwise remaining perfectly calm. Blaine kisses Kurt swiftly, but his intentions are clear in that half second. "Blaine," Kurt says, tone diplomatic, walking towards his closet to grab clothes for the both of them, "I am not having sex with you right now." Blaine lets out a low whine and catches the outfit Kurt throws to him. "But Kurty…" Blaine says, looking at Kurt with his puppy dog eyes. Kurt sighs, exasperated. "Blaine Anderson, you are lucky that Dad and Carole had a…late night last night. Be that as it may, my father will come downstairs in ten to fifteen minutes begging me to take him out to breakfast and I will have to make a convincing show of saying you got here this morning while he was asleep and that will most definitely not work if I have sex hair. Not to mention that we totally just did it in the shower, and despite your wet dreams, Mister, I am not a slut."

Blaine smiles, his eyes giving away that he is not happy about the situation, but he is kind of scared of Kurt when he gets like this, no matter how hot it is, and he's even more scared of Burt's shotgun, so he shuts up about it after a sarcastically muttered, "Sir, yes, sir!" They both get dressed and Kurt does his hair- Blaine has to admit, Kurt deserves mad props for the work he puts into his appearance. They share a quick, searing kiss before going upstairs, figuring it would be better to be in the living room when Burt wakes up than in Kurt's room. They settle down on the couch, Kurt turning on a movie and using the "Scene Selection" screen to skip to the middle and make it look like they've been there a while.

When Burt wakes up and walks into the living room, he sees exactly what Kurt wants him to see, and nothing more. He sees the two boys on the couch, hand in hand- nothing else touching- and watching The Princess Bride, which is almost to the end. "When this is over, you guys wanna head up to the pancake house?" Burt asks casually. Kurt twists around on the couch to face his father and says with a smile, "Yeah, dad, that sounds great," before turning back to the movie. Burt walks out of the room, and Kurt's pretty sure he hears his father mutter something about kissing movies, but he ignores it.

Fifteen minutes later, the movie is over and Kurt, Blaine, Carole, Finn and Burt are headed out the door. Carole starts to walk towards her and Burt's care, but Burt stops her. "Honey, would you mind if I rode with Kurt and Blaine?" Carole seems to hear the unspoken I need to have a talk with them, and she nods understandingly. "Of course, sweetie. We'll see you boys there." Carole pulls Finn over to the car while Burt gestures to Kurt's Navigator for the boys to get in. Blaine and Kurt both simultaneously, audibly, and visibly gulp before Kurt turns to Burt. "Dad," he says, trying to remain composed. "I know what's about to go down, and I know it's going to go down your way, so is there any particular seating arrangement you would like us to take?" Burt looks surprised when Kurt says he knows what Burt is planning, but responds quickly enough, "You can sit in the back, right, Kurt? I think Blaine has to be the main focus of this conversation." Without a word, the three of them climb in the car, Burt driving, Blaine in the passenger seat, and Kurt in the middle seat in the back, leaning as far forward as humanly possible.

"Dad, I'm just letting you know right now that if you take your hands off of that wheel even once, I will scream a scream so high-pitched that dogs won't be able to hear it." Burt nods gruffly and turns to Blaine, though he's still talking to Kurt when he answers.

"I can assure you, as long as I hear the right answers, there will be no need for my hands to leave the wheel." Burt pulls out of the driveway as Kurt and Blaine both sit there, gaping and terrified. It takes until Burt turns the corner at the end of the street for Kurt to come back to his senses. "Dad, go ahead. Be blunt. Be horrible, I don't care." Burt looks surprised, but doesn't say anything about it.

"Blaine." Blaine blinks rapidly, his breath coming in shallow spurts, although it's not a change perceptible enough for Burt to notice. "Yes, sir?" Blaine answers, his voice shaking the slightest bit. Burt looks him in the eye, despite still driving the car. "Would you say you're taking care of my son?"

"Yes, sir." Blaine answers nervously.

"What would make you think that?" Burt is obviously determined to get Blaine to start babbling until he says something incriminating. "Well, sir," Blaine begins, seeming a bit more comfortable. "I love him. I love Kurt more than anything in the world, and if I ever did anything to hurt him, it would kill me as well." Burt lets out a huff of air, obviously not expecting this answer, but he quickly recovers. "How about you, Kurt? How would you say the kid's treating you?"

Kurt sighs, exasperated more than anything else. "He's perfect, dad. You really shouldn't be asking me. I, the child with the boyfriend, should not be the best judge of his treatment of me, from your perspective. In fact, from your perspective, if I say he's great, you should think he's causing trouble." Burt looks at Kurt in the rear view mirror. "Stop telling me how to parent, kid, I trust your judgment." Kurt simply smiles and replies, "I know, dad. Thank you."

Burt exhales again. "Well, I wasn't expecting to get those types of answers right off the bat. I guess we're done. Awkward conversation: done." Blaine heaves a sigh of relief, and Kurt swears he can hear Blaine's heartbeat return to normal. Burt turns the radio on and Kurt falls back into his seat.

All Kurt can think about for the rest of the car ride is Aren't talks like that supposed to involve questions about sex? Kurt's not complaining, however, because he's just not sure if he would've been able to lie to Burt about that.

To be continued. I managed to get Protective!Burt in there, which I didn't think I would be able to do at the beginning of the chapter. Next up: Breakfast with the Hudmels and Blaine meets New Directions.

Hope you enjoyed!