I try to keep author's notes short, because I'd like you to actually read them, so here's the deal: I'm really bad at writing. Not like, the actual writing, because I hope that's not bad. But I'm bad at finding time to write and I'm bad at getting chapters out regularly, and I apologize for that. I'm not going to promise to fix it, because I'd probably just end up letting you down more. So I'm just acknowledging that I suck and apologizing profusely for that fact, and thanking every one of you for putting up with me.
When Kurt wakes up the next day, it takes him quite some time to figure out exactly where he is. The first thing he registers is the smell- the blanket next to his face smells like fabric softener and lavender and a bit like Blaine. The next thing he notices is Blaine himself. Still sleeping, the other boy looks peaceful, vulnerable, and to be honest, quite adorable. Kurt smiles at him as Blaine sighs and rolls over in his sleep. Finally, all the events of last night come rushing back to Kurt, and he gasps audibly. Looking at Blaine, he doesn't think this can be the same boy who was saying all those things to him last night.
The thing most vivid in Kurt's mind, however, even more than the dirty talk or the foreplay or even the sex itself, is the I love you's the boys exchanged while they were hot and tired, covered in each other's come, sticky and sweaty and utterly in love. He sighs contentedly and turns on his side to face Blaine so he can see when he wakes up. At least, that's what Kurt would say if he was asked outright. In reality, he just wanted to watch his beautiful boyfriend sleep. "I love you," he whispers almost inaudibly, knowing that Blaine can't hear him in his sleep, but when you have an urge like that, you don't fight it. Blaine shifts slightly and murmurs something indecipherable. "Mmm," he groans, and wraps his arms around Kurt, pulling him close. Kurt doesn't fight it, nestling his head into the crook of Blaine's neck and letting Blaine hold him.
Blaine doesn't move again for quite some time, until he wakes up, groggy as ever. "Kurt?" he says confusedly, despite the fact that Kurt is still wrapped in his arms. "Morning, sleepyhead," Kurt responds, kissing Blaine's nose. Blaine sits up, unwinding his arms from around Kurt and rubbing at his eyes. "Not a morning person, then?" Kurt teases lightly. Blaine shakes his head. "Not even a little bit. I need coffee." Kurt pats Blaine's thigh. "Well then, come on! Get dressed and we'll get going."
Blaine narrows his eyes at Kurt, intrigued and mildly irritated by how chipper he is. "Why are you so…awake?" he asks tiredly. Kurt smirks at him. "I don't seem to remember you having a problem with it yesterday. In fact, you seemed pretty awake yourself." Blaine sighs. "Yes, well yesterday morning I was incredibly horny, wasn't I? Now I just want to sleep." Kurt laughs lightly and pulls Blaine out of the bed. "Too bad. Let's go." He digs through Blaine's suitcase and throws an outfit towards him. Blaine quickly pulls on the clothes with jerky movements, his eyes half-shut. When they are both dressed and presentable, they head out, Blaine still half-asleep and practically being dragged by Kurt.
Kurt has to drive because Blaine is really not waking up until he has his coffee. They stop at a small café on the way to the beach and once Blaine has a medium drip in him, he is lively and Kurt loves it. Blaine insists on driving to the beach, and Kurt obliges simply because he can not resist Blaine's eyes. The lake is only about ten minutes from the café, and they ride in silence, sipping their coffee and simply enjoying each other's company.
When they reach the lake, Kurt realizes he has to change. Blaine escorts him to the bathroom and they quickly put on their swim trunks. Kurt usually wouldn't be caught dead in anything even resembling the loose shorts, but he figures since the alternative is a speedo…he's better off with the bad fashion choice. Plus, Blaine seems to really enjoy seeing Kurt like this, if his reaction when Kurt walks out of the bathroom is any indication. Blaine takes one quick step towards Kurt, making it quite clear that he is undressing the taller boy with his eyes, and catches his lips in a heated kiss. Kurt pulls away before they get too into it, remembering that they're still in Ohio and people are still stupid. "I love you," he whispers, his face still millimeters from Blaine's. Blaine breathes in his face, "I love you too," before Kurt disentangles his arms from the other boy.
"Have I told you yet how adorable you look right now? You should do this whole 'dressing down' thing more often." Blaine swept his eyes over Kurt's naked- lean but toned- torso, his baggy trunks covering the top half of thin, pale legs, but mostly his hair. Kurt's hair was brushed back- out of his face as much as possible- but he had foregone all of his styling, his product, his everything. He honestly looks like a completely different person, and Blaine cannot get over it.
Kurt laughs. "Not gonna happen. I figured that despite my best efforts, I'm probably going to get wet at some point today, and that would screw up my hair anyway. Plus, we're far enough away from Lima that you're the only person here I've ever seen before or will ever see again. There's nobody to tell me how awful I look." Blaine leans in close again. "Maybe there's nobody telling you how awful you look because you have a warped sense of yourself and you actually look beyond amazing." Kurt just starts walking down the beach toward the water, calling quietly over his shoulder, "You're biased." Blaine quickly follows after him, catching up and putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Hey, you. You, sir, are beautiful. End of story. I may be biased, but I sure as hell am not wrong." Kurt laughs again, though there's no real humor in it.
"You can tell me that as much as you want, Blaine, I'm never going to fully believe it." Blaine takes in a sharp breath and then lets it out slowly. This isn't about how Kurt feels today. This isn't about what other people think. This is about Kurt's self esteem. "Well then, I'll just have to say it a lot," Blaine says, "because it's a known fact. Now shut your trap and go swimming with me." He grabs Kurt's hand and pulls him along until they're waist deep in the water. It's a nice temperature, despite it being partly cloudy and ten in the morning. The beach is almost completely empty, except two families about fifty yards down the shore. Blaine eyes them warily before deciding that they're far too caught up in themselves to notice the boys. He pulls Kurt close to himself and kisses him passionately.
"I love you," Blaine murmurs when they finally pull apart. Kurt just looks at him with the most adorable, understanding look on his face and says, "I know," before glancing over his shoulder self-consciously. "Kurt," Blaine says softly, "stop worrying. That's your problem. You worry too much." Kurt turns back to Blaine, smirking. "I seem to recall you worrying quite a lot when I confessed my love for you and you were scared to ruin our friendship," he says. Blaine clutches his chest dramatically. "I'm hurt! And you're deflecting. What you need to do is let loose, and stop worrying about what other people think." Kurt leans his forehead on Blaine's shoulder and says so quietly Blaine almost doesn't hear him, "I'm not worried about what they think, I'm worried about what they might do because of what they think." Blaine, for the second time that day, is hit by just how much Kurt is revealing to him. Kurt's words go deeper than anything he's shown to Blaine- or anybody else- before.
Blaine holds Kurt to his chest. "Kurt, if you go through life worrying about what might go wrong, nothing's ever going to go right. I've made that mistake in the past, and I'm never going back to that place. You fixed me, Kurt. Because of you, I'm willing to take risks. Because of you, I'm not scared anymore." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry that instead of coming across someone like yourself, you got Karofsky thrown at you. If it were up to me, the world would be made up of amazing, strong people like you. And then maybe you could feel the way I do when I'm with you. Until then, you'll have to make do with me. And I just hope that one day we can be happy and proud together and neither one of us will be scared, or worried. Because I do get that way sometimes. When I'm alone. When I'm with my parents. But never with you. I love you, Kurt, and I promise that as long as we have each other, we can power through anything that comes our way."
Kurt sniffs and lifts his head, wrapping his arms around Blaine's torso. Blaine sees tears streaking his face and swipes at one with his thumb. "Sometimes," Kurt begins with a watery smile, "I start to feel really inadequate just because of how amazing you are. I don't have enough words to describe how you make me feel, so I won't even try. Just…thank you. So much. I love you." They stand there for a couple of minutes, not saying anything, until Kurt pulls back. "Oh, god, Blaine, I ruin everything. We're supposed to be having fun. Let's go have fun!" Blaine smiles. "I don't know about you, but I was quite content doing what we were…"
"Blaine, I'd be happy to do nothing but hold you for the rest of my life, but the middle of Lake Erie is not the place to do that. Let's go swim or something. What is there to do in a lake?" Blaine presses a quick, chaste kiss to Kurt's lips and exclaims, "Race you to the buoy!" Kurt squints and can barely make out the bright red float in the distance. "Oh, it's on," he says darkly, despite knowing for a fact that Blaine is a better swimmer than he is. They both immediately take off towards the deeper water, laughing and splashing each other.
As expected, Blaine wins the race, though only by a few feet. As far off shore as they are, caught up in the moment, clutching onto the buoy, laughing loudly…it's the happiest either of them have been in a while. They stay out there for an hour or two, just flopping around in the water, making goofs of themselves, and occasionally talking. When he starts to get hungry, Blaine says, "Last one back to shore buys lunch?" Kurt nods and they take off. This time Kurt manages to win- though Blaine will go to his grave swearing that he cheated. "Oh, shush, you," Kurt says good-naturedly as Blaine leads him back into the bathrooms to put clothes on. Blaine smirks.
"If I'm paying, I get to choose where we go…and it's gonna be a surprise." Kurt groans softly at the last word, but goes along with it easily enough. "I trust you," he says, clearly not showing even a small fraction of the unhappiness he feels at the prospect of another surprise. Blaine laughs and says, "I won't blindfold you this time. I'm just not telling you where we're going. Also, you don't get to see the bill," he adds as an afterthought. Kurt narrows his eyes. "…Why?" Blaine snickers mischievously. "Because, dearest, I am going to spend as much money as I want on you, and you are going to let me." The taller boy looks at Blaine with a smirk. "Why do you say that, love?"
"Because you love me and trust me and you know that I'm not lying to you when I say that I have money to throw it away and it truly would make me happy to spend it on you." Kurt sighs in defeat. "Fine. As long as you don't make me eat soup with diamonds in it, you have the go-ahead, I suppose." Blaine grins and pulls Kurt towards the car. "I love you so much," he says in thanks. Kurt pulls out a comb from the glove compartment and starts to fix his hair in the mirror. "I love you too," he says absentmindedly as Blaine pulls out of the parking lot.
Kurt spends the whole car ride meticulously combing his hair until it's practically perfect, despite the lack of hairspray. If he's honest with himself, he could finish styling it in half the time, but he wants to respect Blaine's ridiculous "surprise" idea. When they arrive at the restaurant, Kurt finally tears his eyes away from the mirror.
"Blaine…this…what?" Kurt looks down at his outfit, feeling extremely underdressed. "No complaints, mister!" Blaine admonishes, pulling Kurt by the hand with a grin on his face. "But-Blaine- this is Fifi's. This is a nationally recognized high-class 5-star restaurant. This is the place that kids like me literally fall asleep dreaming about maybe visiting one day, not even eating, just to be here. And I'm just going to waltz in there and order whatever I want and you're going to pick up the tab?" The look on Kurt's face is one of excitement, incredulity, skepticism, and disapproval.
"Kurt, it's not that big of a deal. You don't want to know how much money there is in my bank account." Blaine grabs Kurt's hand comfortingly. "If it helps, I can give you a price limit?"
Kurt nods. "Please," he chokes out, still staring in awe at the building in front of him. Blaine strokes his chin in thought. "Okay, um…don't get anything that costs more than a hundred dollars." Kurt sighs exasperatedly. "Blaine, I could eat for three days on a hundred dollars. It seems you can't comprehend the weight of this situation, so I guess I should just stop trying." He smiles and ushers Blaine through the door.
Half an hour later, they are sitting in a secluded corner of the restaurant, an intimate table for two, with some of the most expensive food Kurt has ever seen. Blaine continues to insist that it's not a big deal, so Kurt stops pressing the issue. When the bill comes, Blaine eyes Kurt warily. Kurt sits back in his seat, folding his hands in his lap. "Proceed," he tells Blaine airily, and Blaine signs the bill and stands up. "Come on, let's go," he says, looking sort of mischievous again. Kurt tries to get some answers out of Blaine, but he's being cryptic and generally frustrating.
"So…are we going back to the lake, then?" Kurt asks innocently. Blaine shakes his head infinitesimally. "Another surprise. Don't even bother," he says quickly when Kurt opens his mouth to protest. As they walk out of the restaurant, Kurt mulls over in his head all the places Blaine could possibly be taking him. He opts to just stop speculating and see when they get there.
As they're getting in the car, Kurt spots Blaine's wallet when he puts the card back in. He only catches a small glimpse of the photograph, right next to the one of Kurt and Blaine at prom, but he sees enough. Enough to know that it's a picture of Blaine's family, and in that one picture- the boy in the front looking uncomfortable and downright terrified, the man behind him looking intense and cold, and the woman looking frail and quiet- Kurt sees more about Blaine and his family than he would ever be able to comprehend by hearing it from Blaine himself.
I'm sorry if there are typos or if things are badly worried, the second half of this chapter was written while I was lightly drugged (with cold medicine- drowsy side effects and such).
Also, this isn't quite as angsty as I wanted it to be, believe it or not. More angst to come.
Finally, this chapter is the longest one so far. Don't get used to it.
Reviews are appreciated and earn you cupcakes.
