Logan woke up and rolled out of bed with a smile on his face. He thought of how he was going to the movies with James and gave a little hop of excitement.

His phone buzzed. He snatched it up and looked at the screen. James.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey, are we still on for tonight?"

"Of course. What time should I be ready?"

"Uh, nine-ish I guess. Can't wait."

"Neither can I. See you tonight." Logan hung up and looked at the picture James had taken of himself using Logan's phone. He was flashing that blinding smile and Logan's heart fluttered.

Logan slid his phone into his jeans and walked into the kitchen, making a bowl of cereal. As he sat down to eat, his mom walked in, her hair going in all directions. She yawned as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Morning, honey," she said.

"G'morning," Logan said, grinning. His mom arched an eyebrow when she looked at him.

"Did you win an award?" she asked.

"What? No."

"Did you get something published?"

"Uh, no."

"Well what are you grinning about?"

"I have a date tonight." Logan nearly toppled off his chair when his mother squealed in delight.

"A date! With who?"

"His name is James," Logan said. He'd told his mother he was gay two years ago.

Logan was pulled into a tight hug.

"Oh, how wonderful! Do you need anything? A new outfit, hair gel, anything?"

"I'm fine, Mom. We're just going to the movies."

"Oh, this is so great, Logan! Your dad would be so happy." Logan's happy mood quickly vanished at the mention of his father. He stirred his Cheerios around the bowl, trying to discretely wipe away a tear that was threatening to spill.

It didn't go unnoticed by his mother.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweety. It's just that this was always something he talked about- your first date- before the accident." Logan swallowed hard, thinking about "the accident."

His dad had been driving home from his job at the hospital when a drunk driver ran a red light and hit his car. He was instantly killed, and Logan hadn't ever been able to get rid of the image of his father's body, bloodied and torn, on a hospital bed.

Logan was ten.

"It's fine, Mom," Logan lied, "I'm just gonna go pick out what I'm wearing tonight." His mother nodded, taking his bowl to the sink as Logan walked down the hallway, running the last few steps.

Logan flung himself into bed, trying his best to block the memories. But it was no use. He shut his eyes, but that just made it easier for him to see everything.

Logan sat on the couch, flipping through channels on T.V. His dad was going to be home any minute and then they were all going to go see a movie. He checked the clock. Just a few minutes now.

The phone rang.

Logan watched as his mother walked over and picked up the phone, smiling at Logan as she answered. "Hello?"

Logan watched his mom's expression shift into one of horror.

"Mom?" he said, "What's going on?"

"I'll be right there," she said, slowly putting the phone down. She just stood there for a second, then grabbed her keys and threw a jacket on.

"Get your shoes, Logan," she said. Logan scrambled to put his shoes on and hurried after her out the door.

Logan barely buckled his seatbelt before they'd peeled out of the driveway and down the street. His mother was speeding, paying no attention to her speedometer. She checked the rearview mirror and saw Logan's pale face and slowed down.

"Sorry," she whispered. Logan watched as she pulled into the hospital parking lot and strode toward the door. Logan ran to keep up.

Mrs. Mitchell walked up to the desk

"Mrs. Mitchell," she said, "my husband was in a car crash." The nurse nodded and started typing something into her computer. Logan gasped.

"A car crash?" he said. His mother nodded, not looking at him.

Logan glanced around, trying to focus on something, anything. Then, through a door, he saw it.

His father, laying on a hospital bed, limp and unmoving.

"DAD!" he screamed, barreling towards him. His mom tried to grab at him but he dodged her grasp.

Logan burst into the room as the team of doctors and nurses were preparing the defibrillator.

"Clear," one of them said, rubbing the paddles together before pressing them into Mr. Mitchell. His body jumped sickly and Logan's hand flew to his mouth.

The doctors did it again, and once more. Logan glanced at the monitor.

There was no heartbeat. The straight green line was like a knife to his heart. Logan fell to his knees.

"Daddy," he whispered.

"Who let this kid in?" one of the doctors said. They started trying to shove Logan out but Logan ran around them, running to his dad.

"Dad!" he cried, shaking him like he did on Sunday mornings. "Dad, wake up! Please wake up, Daddy! I need you. Dad, I need you!"

But it was useless. Logan was pulled away as a sheet was pulled over his father's prone body.

Logan, finally free of the flashback, sniffed. He reached to his bedside table and grabbed a few tissues, blowing his nose hard. He got up and walked over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and then picking up a journal.

This was his secret. This journal was full of writing pieces, some poems, some short stories, even a couple of songs. Logan hadn't shown to a single person, not even his mother. They were his feelings, put down on paper, every up and down that had to be expressed, every turn that needed to be recorded, they were all there. When it was too much for Logan to keep inside, he wrote it out.

Logan picked up a pen and set it to the paper, the words seeming to flood out of the paper.

When silence becomes too hard to hear,
When the lack of one voice makes you shed a tear,
Just want you to know that I'll be here.

When you think you've lost it all,

When you think you're the deepest you can fall,

All you ever have to do is call.

I'll be with you the whole way,

Every move you make, every step you take.

I'll always be at your side,

Every day and every night.

You won't ever be alone

You'll never be on your own.

When it all becomes too hard,

When you know you're falling apart,

I'll help you heal your breaking heart.

If your troubles weigh you down,

If you feel like you're gonna drown,

Just know I'll always be around.

I'll be with you the whole way,

Every move you make, every step you take.

I'll always be at your side,

Every day and every night.

You won't ever be alone.

You'll never be on your own.

You don't have to be strong,

I can help you carry on,

I'm always gonna be there for you,

No matter what you say or do.

Logan put down the pen and put away the journal. Then got up and walked over to his closet, deciding he really did have to pick out what he was wearing to the movies.

Logan found he was over thinking, like usual, when, a half hour later, he had half his closet laid out on his bed.

"What am I going to wear?" he thought aloud. He was going out with James. He had to look perfect, or James might rethink his decision.

Logan finally settled on jeans, a white V-neck and a gray jacket. He put the rest of his clothes back in his closet and then went to take a shower.

When Logan stepped out of the shower, he grabbed a towel and walked back to his room. His phone rang and he picked it up.

"Hey, James," he said.

"Hey, Logan, is it alright if I push our date up a little? Coach called an emergency hockey practice tonight."

"Uh, sure. Like, what time?"

"Is two hours from now alright? Maybe we can grab lunch before we go."

"That sounds great. See you then."

"Bye, Logan. L-" James stopped. "L-later," he finished, hanging up his phone.

He'd just been about to say "Love you" to Logan. Where had that come from?

If James had had a normal family, he might've said it was just a reaction from talking on the phone. But he barely talked to his mother at all, much less on the phone. And even when he did, it was very rare that she would ever say she loved him, and the same was true for him. And after his parents had divorced, James didn't really keep in touch with his dad.

James sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning backward until he was lying atop the covers. He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. It wasn't possible that he was in love with Logan, was it? He barely knew him.

But that wasn't true. James did know him.

James thought about how Logan always seemed to bite something when he was thinking. When it was during a test, Logan would always stick the end of his pencil between his teeth if he couldn't think of something. When he was just thinking, he chewed on his lip. James thought about how Logan was very quiet most of the time, but knew how to defend himself, at least verbally, if he had to. The scene with Kendall was an excellent example of that. James thought of Logan's beautiful brown eyes, and his cute smile, and the way his hair seemed to defy gravity.

James thought of how Logan was such a good person, always willing to help people when they had trouble with homework, or on a project. He thought about how Logan always listened to people, and actually paid attention, but never seemed to share much about himself. James thought of Logan when he'd first seen him, and realized he'd always loved Logan.

Which could be a slight complication if Logan didn't feel the same way.

James groaned into his pillow. Love was a foreign feeling to him, and Logan had somehow managed to make him fall in love before even speaking a word to him. James wasn't sure how he felt about it.

James spent the next hour and a half trying to distract himself with video games and T.V. and even trying to read a book. Finally, it was time for him to get going and he sprinted to his car, checking his hair in the mirror before pulling into the street and driving to Logan's house.

Logan answered the door when James knocked and smiled at him, locking the door behind him before following James to his car.

James drove to Steak 'n Shake, blushing a little.

"I know it's not really anything fancy, but, uh, the movie starts in, like, half an hour."

"James," Logan said, "it's fine. I'm on a date with you, we could've gone to a hot dog vendor and I'd be happy."

"I'll have to remember that," James said, smiling at Logan. Logan blushed this time, looking down.

Both of them ordered a steakburger with cheese, along with a side of fries to share. Logan got a vanilla shake and James got an Oreo.

"When's your next hockey game?" Logan asked. "Maybe I'll actually go this time." James grinned at the thought of Logan being in the crowd.

"Wednesday. I'd love for you to come." Logan smiled, plucking a few fries in his mouth.

The song playing caught James attention and he smiled, starting to sing along.

"Oh, this has gotta be the good life, this has gotta be the good life, this could really be the good life, good life. I said, 'Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight,' like this city is on fire tonight, this could really be a good life, a good life."

James stopped when he realized Logan was staring at him.

"Oh, sorry," he said, muttering.

"No, you're great! Are you going to be in the Talent Show this year?"

"Maybe. I don't-"

"James!" James paled when he heard the voice. He turned and saw Kendall walking in with some of the other team members. "What the hell are you doing with Mitchell?"

"His name is Logan," James muttered.

"Don't care," Kendall said. "Why are you here with him?" Kendall's jaw dropped. "Are you dating him? Is that why you've been telling me to back off?"

"No!" James said. "He's my tutor, for math. I need his help and how's he supposed to help me if he gets beaten to a pulp?"

Logan's shake slipped from his grasp and collided with the floor, exploding and spraying all over Kendall's legs.

"Oh, great!" Kendall snapped. "Butterfingers got me covered in vanilla!"

"Sorry," Logan breathed, looking away from the rest of them. James shot him a glance but Logan didn't see.

"Whatever," Kendall said. "See you later, James, the rest of us care about our spots on the hockey team."

"I care about my spot. That's why I have a tutor."

James watched Logan's shoulders shake slightly and noticed that Logan's hand had moved to cover his eyes.

Kendall and the other hockey players left, shakes in hand and James turned to Logan, opening his mouth to apologize. But Logan was already talking.

"You tutor!" he said. "Are you that obsessed with your image, James? You can't let people know you're gay? Well then, if I'm your tutor, let me teach you something- I don't like being a secret. It's not a good feeling."

"Logan-"

"Forget it. I'll see you Monday."

James watched Logan walk away, pulling out his phone (probably to call and ask someone for a ride), and slammed his fist against the table.

"Idiot," he muttered.

Alright, just so you guys know, I don't own anything. I might be using some stuff from other T.V. shows later, but I don't own any of it. Oh, and that song, that's mine. I wrote it, I didn't copy it. Hope you guys liked it. I do enjoy reviews, just in case you didn't know.