a/n: Again, thank you for the comments. I'm glad you all are enjoying this one! Hopefully, I'll do better with updates. I referenced barracks organization from Corey Hatch's "Maps and Drawings of Hogan's Heroes' Stalag 13."
Characters from Hogan's Heroes do not belong to me.


The Thrilling Adventures of a Boy Spy

:: Part, the Fifth ::

I was positively thrilled right now, with that mission and all from Hogan. I mean, this was it. This was the great caper I've wanted all my life. Even Emil didn't get missions like this. I snuck out the fence hole and saw way out there the black coats roaming around the gray building. Suddenly I wondered where Barracks 2 would be. There were so many buildings! I should have asked him.

Ohhh. I looked back at the hole in the fence. He was counting on me. It meant a lot to him. I couldn't ask the black coats for directions. Our conversation was secret. So I had to walk by every building and look for names? Well, some spy I would be – out in the open.

Then I thought to myself, Lesson 1 in Spyhood: It's keeping your mission, not necessarily your person, a secret. Wow, that sounded so professional! But this was sure going to require some big stuff on my part.

I took a nice big breath and stepped out – to the left towards a pen of cars. There was no sense in going straight into the Lion's Den, not when you could go around it part of the ways. Call that Lesson 2. Mrs. Meister isn't the only one who can give lessons!

Anyway, so I dodged around the pen of vehicles and when I got around it, I finally saw a little white sign on one of the buildings. It read "Barracks 14." The building next up didn't look like a "2." The number on it rounded on the left side. A "2" of course rounds on the right. There were gallons of other buildings around. I just had to go through all of them. Poof...

I stepped out, repeating Hogan's message in my mind. I didn't want to forget it, or else all my troubles would be for nothing. (Or for naught, as Mrs. Meister would say.)

So I went around Barracks 14 and the one behind it was Barracks 15. I was out in the open now, so I put a little pride in my step, pretending I knew what I was doing. I even slooped my hands in my pockets. There were a lot of noise coming out of the buildings, but not so many people came out for some reason. It must have been Uncle's order about putting a guard inside the buildings.

Then I passed Barracks 7, then 4, then 8. (I tell you, there was absolutely no rhyme or reason in those digits.)

That's when I met the first black coat.

"Halt!" he boomed.

I stopped.

He wiggled a curved finger towards me. You know something bad's going to happen when threatening people do that. But I really had no choice but to go along with him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You are Ernst Gottlieb Junior?"

"Well, yes."

"You belong in Colonel Klink's quarters. Didn't Major Klein tell you that?"

"No, not exactly."

"Then come with me." He slung his gun up, sliding it along its shoulder strap, and came towards me with grabbing arms.

"I can walk just fine, thank you," I said.

"Children nowadays," he snorted. "Follow me."

"Just tell me the direction and I'll go myself."

"Little boy—"

I thought fast. "You're here to watch this building?" That's what the big trouble was, Hogan said. "You're supposed to stay here, right?"

"So?"

"So you can't come with me, anyways. Is it that way?" I shot a finger to my right.

The man looked fed up. "Ja, ja." He swung his gun around and threatened to pat my behind with it. "Auchtung!"

I scampered out quickly and looked back to see him turn around and head into the barracks building. I went around another building that read "5," to my left was "3" and finally the last building before a wide open area was "Barracks 2." Past the wide open area was the building Uncle put me into. Then I realized Barracks 2 was the one I was in originally. I tell you, I almost went bonkers thinking I went all around and it was right in front of my face. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Spies, least of all, I guess.

Luckily, like I said, Uncle's orders had kept most of the black coats inside, so I was able to move around like this pretty well.

So now I was in the corner of the "2" building with the gray prison place a far diagonal away from me. There was a window a little above me. I figured I could contact somebody through that, so I hopped on my little two feet and prayed nobody else was looking. But sure enough, there was a black coat in there, tapping around a desk with his fingers and generally looking over the room, like he was my mother. Boy, poor Mama.

Well, the window was out. So I peeked around the corner and saw Uncle afar off with a group of other men, including the spindly one and the big round one I'd met before. There was a door farther down the building. But getting to it... Well, that was a little different story.

I plopped down on the dirt to think. Thank goodness the barracks in front of me to the left didn't have anyone in front of it. If that were the case, I'd be done for. Then I thought about how Mama looked over rooms. She never stayed long; she always left to join the kids.

So I jumped up to the window again and looked in. Sure enough, he was gone. I took one more look around, balanced myself with one grip on the edge of the window, and reached up to grab the lock. Push! And it was open. I didn't look behind me to see if anybody saw me bumbling through the window. What good would it be, really? I was already in the act and couldn't stop now.

So I got inside and plopped onto a metal rectangle. I sure got to be quieter when I go about sneaking like this. Hearing something out of place is just as bad as seeing someone out of place. (Lesson 3, shhh.)

Anyway, I was inside. That was the important thing. It was a sparse little place, a thin bunk to my left, table to the right, long thin box in front of me – and the door. I put my ear to the latter.

"—the Geneva Convention," someone was almost shouting.

"I'm the boss here. You'll do as I say."

"Listen, ya wouldn't want to do that, really?" said an accented voice.

"Speak for yourself."

"Come on, mate."

"You over there! Unpack that locker. You, the case there. And you, Englander. In that room. I saw a locker there."

"But ya can't mean the guv'nor's—"

"I do mean that, Corporal. Now, go!"

"No need to threaten. I'm goin'."

I got on all fours and looked under the crack of the door. A pair of shoes was coming towards me. Eeps! I backed off into the hinge of the door just as it opened. A blue-dressed man entered and went straight to the window and the rectangle box under it. He was not in black, so he was a good guy.

"Psst!" I whispered, hoping I'd be heard above the general mush of sounds from the other room. "Psst!" I pulled the blankets on the bed.

The man turned around. He did a double take on me, then grabbed a bunch of stuff from the locker and lay them on the bed. Then he dropped a crumpled shirt by the door, leaned over to pick it up, at the same time pushing the door a little further closed. He still had the shirt under his hands on the floor. "You again!" He picked up the shirt and put it in the pile. "You're that crazy kid." His hand mushed into the mess of things on the bed, making noises.

I didn't quite know what he meant, but I figured I'd deliver Hogan's message now. "I have a message from Hogan," I said quietly.

"I'm not exactly in the mood for practical jokes, ya know?"

"I'm not kidding! Hogan told me to tell someone from Barracks 2 that no one should try to go into the tunnels or do anything dumb." I think that's what he said anyway. "And he wants to know the situation here. He's planning how to get out of this mess," I added in a hoarser whisper.

He didn't say anything for a bit. "Are you're pullin' me leg or somethin'? Did Hogan really tell ya this? Hogan? In the brown leather jacket and the officer's cap?"

Yup, that was him. I nodded. "He said our conversation was a secret. He's in the gray building, you know."

"No, thanks for the news flash. 'Ow did you get there? Kommandant's orders?"

"I snuck in."

"Well, that's just dandy!"

"Huh?"

Heavy footfalls were pounding towards us.

He leaned to me quickly. "I was a kid like yourself once, too, and you can't trust 'em. Hang in there. I'll get back to ya." He jumped and grabbed the pile, metal cups dangling and book pages flapping about, leaning into the door to close it on me. "There ya are!" he told in incoming stranger. "I was just comin' out to fetch ya."

"Oh, really."

"Where do ya keep the stolen property?"

"Raus, raus!"

"Be gentle. Ya ever hear of mutiny?"

"Get over there."

I squeezed myself into the door corner. So I had to wait for him? And hope the black coat didn't come in? Boy, this was getting sticky. I peeked through the door slit between the wall and door. The black coat was poking his gun through a stash of clothes, books, and other little doo-dads. The crowd all around were scowling at him. The man in blue was whispering to a tall man next to him. I slumped back and waited, praying that the black coat, like Mama, didn't come into my room but once a day.