a/n: Thank you once again for reading and reviewing! This is a short one, because from tomorrow morning til Monday afternoon I'll be on a little trip for the Labor Day holiday. Have a great weekend everyone!
Characters from Hogan's Heroes do not belong to me.


The Thrilling Adventures of a Boy Spy

:: Part, the Seventh ::

"My goodness, I thought you'd never come!"

I smiled up at Schultz, trying to hide the glow of excitement that I was sure was emanating out of my face. "I wasn't that long, see?"

"Well, please, please, let's get out of here." He grabbed my hand and rushed me out the doors of the gray building.

I repeated in my mind Hogan's plan, sure I'd forget it if I grew too thrilled at the prospect of being a real real spy.

"I got to get you back to the Kommandant's quarters," Schultz continued to gasp.

I walked next to him swankily, waiting for Uncle to appear. Though even if he didn't, I had an alternate plan (all right, Hogan had an alternate plan). It sure sounded crazy to be looking for Uncle at this point, after all the avoiding we'd done before. But, hey, that's spy work: Never expect the expected. (Lesson 5, was it? Oh well, can't keep track now. There's too much on my mind now...)

We hurried across the open area, Schultz's head swinging both ways. He'd taken the first step onto the stairs of the building when a shrill voice called out.

"Schultz!" It was the spindly fellow, Klink.

"What are you doing with little Ernst?" came the more slick voice of Uncle. His eyes looked ready to eat somebody. I shivered. Now that was creepy.

"Herr Komandant! Herr Major! I – I—"

"Nnnuh! Schultz, you're impossible."

"But – but – but, what did I do, Herr Kommandant? This child, he was just—"

Uncle held up his hand and everything fell quiet. He kneeled down to my level, his jacket swooping behind him like a cape.

"Enrst, what were you doing around the camp?"

"Roaming," I hedged.

His voice sharpened and he pointed to the building "You're going right in there."

"But I want Papa and Mama. I want to see them!"

"Ernie!" Schultz squeezed the word out of the corner of his mouth before facing the others. "He-he. Children. Always looking for Mama and Papa. Come on, Ernie." He eyed me desperately. "Let's go."

"I want to see Mama!" I shrieked, paying him no mind. It was really half-true. I needed to see Mama. Goodness, she must be either mad at me now or worried sick. Probably worried sick now and when I get home, crazy mad. But that remains to be seen, of course.

"I want Mama!" I continued to rave.

"The poor child." Klink looked at me as though I was a flapping fish in a dry pool. Well, sympathy was a start. Now to have Uncle come on my side. "Please, Uncle!" I pleaded.

"Ernie, you are such a problem!" Uncle spat. "Get inside there! And let this be the end of it."

"But, Major Klein," Klink prodded lightly, "it wouldn't be so much to take him—"

"Klink!"

"Yes, sir." Klink was docile again.

Schultz pushed me towards the door. Nope, this wasn't going well. "No!" I shrieked, pummeling my little hands into the pillow of his middle. "I want Mama!"

Uncle gave me such a stare that I was sure I'd blow my cover. "Ernst," he said flatly.

"I'll be bored in there," I suggested.

His eyes hardened, one of them wrinkled shut, and he leaned down to me. Whoa! Keep calm, Ernie. Then he stared down Schultz (who, I felt, jumped ever so slightly), then practically shouted, "I don't care where you take him, just get him out of here!"

Great! Finally we were getting someplace.

"Yes, sir, Herr Major, yes, sir!" Schultz got wise this time and scooped me off the ground as he shuffled off towards the pool of vehicles.

"Ernie, you've been a bad boy, a very bad boy." He plopped me in the passenger side. "Now, why did you do that to me, Ernie, why?" He lumbered behind the wheel contraption. "What have I done?"

We settled down comfortably. I started, "Well, Hogan said—"

"Colonel Hogan! Ohhh, that's the end of me, I know that's the end of me! You're all up to funny business." He wagged a finger at me. "I have to tell the Kommandant."

"Tell him what?" I cheered inside, seeing how everything was running like a script, with Hogan, the playwright. It reminded me of that show we saw that I didn't quite understand, with all the dark lights and creepy music. Faust, was it? Anyway, right now I was on stage. And who didn't want to be an actor? Spies were all that and more. So I'd told Schultz, "Tell him what?"

"That, that, that," Schultz bumbled, "—that you're up to funny business!"

"And that you let someone see Papa?" Clincher.

Schultz poked his head around the car, pushed me slightly and looked behind me.

That wasn't his line. "What are you looking for?" I asked.

He slumped back. "I thought maybe Colonel Hogan—" He looked around once more. "—was hiding here."

"Well, in a way."

"I knew it! No, I don't want to know it."

"So you're not going to tell?"

He snickered. "Very well. But I'll take you home and no more!" He started the engine. "But how is going home funny business?"

"Because—"

"No, don't tell me. I know nothing!"

Yes, I thought, everything was going as planned.