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Characters from Hogan's Heroes do not belong to me.


The Thrilling Adventures of a Boy Spy

:: Part, the Eighth ::

"And turn right."

"Into Hammelberg? I thought you lived in Berlin."

"Well, we do, but Mama's at a hotel here now." Thank goodness Hogan told me I didn't have to hedge too much with Schultz. It was hard keeping secrets from him, him being such a jolly fellow and all. He looked like Santa Klaus, the poor man. I was positive the kids robbed him every Christmas.

Then we got to the big hotel. I started getting sweaty palms. Funny, because I'd stood up to Uncle and other scary figures in my (albeit short) time as a spy.

Schultz didn't even open the door for me in the car before Mama came busting out of the building, a giddy smile on her lips. A cheer went up from a little crowd surrounding her. "Ernie!" she gasped and grabbed me just as I stepped out of the car.

Oh gosh, she was so happy. I think I started bawling, thinking how unthinking I'd been towards her. "Mama!" I shrieked.

"Where have you been, darling?" She was on one knee and looking at me with those sky blue eyes.

I looked up and saw Schultz sniffling, waving his handkerchief around his nose. Mama followed my gaze and stiffened at the sight of the man.

"Ernie..." She looked questioningly at me, then stood up and stood straight before the round fellow. She looked briefly at his outfit. "Sergeant," she said warily, "where did you find my little boy?"

"Oh, Ernie?" Schultz blew his nose again. "Pardon me, Frau Gottlieb, but I love sweet reunions."

"Was he in trouble?"

"Nein." He blew once more and stuffed the handkerchief in his pocket. "He, I think he came with his father." He glared at me suspiciously.

"Can we go inside, Mama? I want some gingerbread."

"Wait, darling. Where was he? Where were they?" she asked Schultz.

Creeps. Now Mama might blow my cover. Who knows what might come out in this talk.

"Stalag 13," Schultz said like she should have known.

"Stalag?" Her face went through a mingle of looks, quite unpredictable. I wish I had glasses like Professor Bosch. He always paused, adjusted them, and then he knew what was going on. So I just scratched my head.

"What happened there, Sergeant?" She was quiet and cautious again.

"Oh, nothing much. Just child's play. Major Klein tried to keep him from exploring, that's all. Oh." Schultz paused slowly. "There is one more thing. Frau Gottlieb, your husband is in the camp's cooler. The Major thinks he is, well, a traitor to the Reich. I am so sorry." Schultz hung his head down. Mama turned white. A few whispers went around the little crowd around us.

"Mama." I tugged at her dress. If only I could tell her I was working on it. I didn't like to see her cry. I was the one who was supposed to do the bawling. "Mama," I pleaded, but Hogan didn't tell me about secret eye glances that make one person know that everything was going to be all right.

"Dearie." She looked down at me and took my hand. "Let's go inside. Thank you, Sergeant. You have been, really so, so kind." She barely got the last words out.

Schultz watched her go, fiddling with his hands. I smiled quietly back at him. He wasn't such a bad guy. I'm sure he'd appreciate my getting Papa out of the cooler and making Mama feel better.

In our hotel room, Mama really let it all out. Her face was normal, but clear streams of water were flowing out of her eyes. The happy skies in them were now stormy, I imagined. "Mama, don't cry."

"Ernie, we haven't told you about many things." She came up and took my shoulders. "I guess we were wrong to do that. Ernie, you don't know what's happened to Papa."

She paused and I let her speak. For some reason, I felt this was no time to blab out Hogan's plan. Not yet anyway.

"Our rulers, you know, like the kings of old. You know the stories? Well, we have a bad one now and Papa was trying get us to escape him, along with some other people, those people who've been visiting us at home."

I nodded. It also sort of explained the secret papers that I saw at the start of this whole deal.

"And now that Papa is suspected..." Her voice crumbled again.

"Mama," I started slowly. She wouldn't believe if I rattled it all out right away. I needed to offer her something solid. "Mama," I prodded again, waiting for a response.

"Yes, Ernie?"

"Back at the prison, I was there, you know."

"I know, Ernie."

"I can get Papa out."

She smiled sweetly at me and ran her hand through my tousled hair.

"Mama, you don't believe me."

"Of course I do, darling." She hugged me. "I don't know what we're going to do," she said more to herself than me.

"Mama, I said I can get Papa free."

"Ernie." She pulled us apart slightly and looked at me squarely. "There's no use pretending. Papa is at the mercy of the Gestapo." She shuddered suddenly and I could tell there were thoughts in her head that she didn't say out loud.

"Mama, I have to tell you something." This was it, the Big News. "I met a spy there, a couple spies actually. They told me to help get Papa out. They told me to help get him and Papa Bear out of the cooler."

But Mama was starting to cry now. She couldn't get what I was saying. She probably didn't even hear me. Papa always said women were unpredictable, but I didn't know this is what he meant. I thought it was just over ice cream flavors or books. Maybe I shouldn't have confused her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her about the spy stuff. I'd asked Hogan about telling her and all he said was that he didn't tell his Mama. I don't know if that bit of information really helped me any, and it certainly didn't help me now.

"Mama, why don't you sleep a while?" I suggested.

"What are we going to do?" She brought a trembling hand to her mouth. Poor Mama. She looked really worn out. But what could I do? I'd tried telling her about the spy stuff and it didn't get her out of this mode. I looked up at the little clock on the bed stand. Hogan had told me to get going with the mission as soon as possible. I needed to move. I felt bad for Mama.

"Mama, please. If you rest a while, you'll feel better." I just didn't know what was going on in her head, and I started to wonder if she didn't want to tell me.

"Darling, we have to go see someone." She looked into my eyes. "You must come with me. I cannot leave you here. Come." She cradled my shoulders and led me out the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked. "I need to meet somebody."

"We'll see all your friends one day, Ernie."

"Mama—"

She rushed us across the street and down the line of shops. My next contact was along this line somewhere. I peered over to try to find his shop. We passed an alley, then I saw his sign at the far end of the street. Amazingly, Mama went down that alley, too. I started to hurry forward.

"May I have a tomato?" I said, hoping to get into the little grocer's store.

"Ernie, we are going there. You can have anything you want. I have to talk to the proprietor."

"No kidding? I have to, too."

"Ernie, you're sweet."

"No, really, I have to talk to Max."

We were inside the shop now. I saw the old shopkeeper with his big brown apron and little gray cap and black bow tie. He was looking down at something under the front counter. I went up to him quickly, before Mama got to him. "Are you the man who lost his Schnauzer?" I said brightly.

He looked oddly at me. "No, sonny, I don't have a Schnauzer." He paused and patted my head lightly. "I have a Weimaraner."

My, what a relief. This was the man. "I say Weimaraners are fine dogs," I continued. "We have two Dachshunds."

He paused again. "I'd like to talk about your dogs. Come with me behind the store. I have a special blend for that breed." He guided me around the counter, then looked at me hard and said pointedly, "What are their names?"

"Hans and Fritz of course!" I felt confident.

We almost got to the back door when Mama came up behind me, looking totally confused. "Mama, Max is going to show us something for our Dachshunds." I tugged her sleeve and blinked my eyes, hoping she'd get the message.

"Oh, yes, darling. Yes, please show us." She stepped with us to the back room. I think she got it, but I wasn't sure.

Max closed the door softly behind him. "I can't be long. Is this your son?"

She gave a tiny nod.

I looked at the clock on a high shelf. Two-thirty.

"And you both are Underground?"

It was time to jump in. I put on a mental cap of professionalism and grabbed every fancy word I've learned in my ten plus years of life. "Mein Herr, I've been assigned by Papa Bear for a very important job. He's locked away right now, but I have the plan; I have the information. We must capture Unc– I mean, Major Klein, and take out Bridge 14 east of Hammelburg and – well, not in that order – and—"

"Wait a minute." It was Max. I caught my breath. Being professional sure wiped me out. He looked from me to Mama, his soft face crinkling.

"You're...?" he started. Mama's face matched his words.

"I tried to tell you," I told Mama. "See, Hogan gave me an extra code, in case you doubted me." I tiptoed and whispered it in Max's ear.

He came away, eyebrows up. "My, my, what is this war coming to? Uh, I have to go back a minute and tell Johann to take care of the store. Excuse me."

As he left, Mama stared down at me.

"I thought you wouldn't believe it," I mumbled.

"You must tell me exactly everything that went on out there," she said severely. Yup, this was it. Time for my big blab about how I got into the camp and got Hogan's mission. I'll spare you the details.