Chapter 9: Guilt Too Deep for Words

Indeed, the two thirty sun shawn upon the underwater Arctic Base, grazing it with its luscious beams despite the lack of light from below the icy surface. Truthfully, one almost say it appeared tranquil in its lack of surface concerns. Yet a quick glance inside, and one knew such thinking proved far from the truth. Inside the many walls of the base stood a group of young cadets, their faces screamed of nervous impatience. Though in essence, it was not hard to see why as Patton took his pace of silence directly towards this small group. His eyes remained ever intent with stern integrity, and his drill stick remain ever present behind his back, though it only took so long before he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"So Cadets Next Door...you all probably think you've done pretty well on your 45th training simulation...",said Patton, his tone loud yet stern as he never once ceased his pacing. "Probably think you'll go home, patting yourself on the back while topping it off with a nice slice of apple pie."

"Yes" replied the small voice of a young cadet, one that could only usher in a stern yet angered look from his instructor.

"Oh, you find that funny, huh maggot? Well then, maybe you'll all be happy to know that your simulation proved to be a dud. As of 10:30 tomorrow morning, you'll be taking a redo of the simulation...All of you", the young Drill Sergeant sternly explained, a hint of cockiness in his voice as he did so.

"What", cried the cadets in perfect unison.

"But we did our best Sir", said a concerned sounding blonde cadet, even though his words did nothing to shake his stern looking superior.

"Best doesn't always equal successful cadet; if you want any further proof of that, look at Cadet Darwin's major screw-up today", he explained rather sternly.

"But how was I suppose to know that eating virtual doughnuts wasn't part of the simulation", asked the freckle ridden boy, mild regret clear in his tone as he did so.

"That's still no excuse cadet", the raven haired boy screamed, sending shivers down the boy's spine as he did so.

"Sir, I know we're suppose to be trying our best here, but I think that you're forgetting that it's just a test run. Besides, we can always try better next time", replied a young girl strangely reminiscent of Isabella from Phineas and Ferb.

Though quick was she to startle the moment she saw the drill stick reach inches away from her nose, a quick glance up could only reveal then a stern, almost angry looking Patton standing in front of her.

"Sloppy...senile...corrupt...You keep thinking like and you go very far cadet. I've warned you all before that being a Kids Next Door operative is serious business, so either you're in, or you get left behind", the young boy explained, his eyes the perfect level of stern integrity to match his voice.

"Yeah, but isn't having fun part of the job", asked a auburn haired cadet, his words clearly making an angry impression upon the raven haired boy as he went to speak.

" Not when kids lives are at stake", replied the angered looking Patton, now standing tall before the tiny cadet who dare question his authority.

"But that doesn't mean we need to pretend like we can't have some fun every once in awhile", the cadet replied back, his own stern outlook was proved not a sight Patton wished to see currently.

"That doesn't matter, sometimes you need to take thing seriously if you want to ensure that safety of other children. It's an unfortunate priority", the raven haired boy explained, feeling his anger rise with every word he spoke.

"Well I guess you're all about that priority", the cadet spoke rather sternly as he watched his superior's black eyes widen in shock for a mere second.

Such words would only prove to fuel his budding anger, such words could only prove to clench his hands into fists, even tense his face into one of rage and irritation. Yet sooner than never did he find himself being pulled back into the sanctity of reality as the clock chimed 2:35, allowing for him to inhale a deep breath before commencing to stare at his cadets in stern integrity once more.

"Fine; cadets, you are to report back in here in 10 hundred hours tomorrow morning. Until then, you're dismissed", he said with stern integrity as he watched his cadets take their leave.

Yet from behind the closed door appeared Jeffery, a paranoid look on his face as he clumsily made his way through the sea if cadets. Yet quickly did his face become one of concern the instant his friend came into view; he looked shameful, as if he were regretful of his own actions.

"Well, that certainly went well", said the calm sounding Patton as he and Jeffery walked towards his office nearly five minutes later.

"Yeah, those cadets certainly came out even less witless, and all in under two hours", Jeffery replied, his tone rather sarcastic if not displeased.

"Enough with the sarcasm; if we're going to build a strong future, we have to roughen them up a bit", the raven haired calmly yet sternly explained.

"Yeah, but you seem to be forgetting something; there's being harsh and...well...just being demanding", the blue eyed boy explained rather hesitantly.

"And judging by today's simulation, I'd say that I've handled that balance well", he replied, much to the disbelief of his friend.

"You threatened a cadet with 100 laps around he base and back if he didn't complete the simulation on time", the auburn haired cried out in disbelief.

"Oh come on Jeff, he had it coming", the raven haired boy replied in disbelief as he opened the door to his office.

"So increasing the lap rate is mentally suitable now", the blue eyed boy asked, his curiosity ever present as he reached for the container of hot chocolate sitting atop his friend's desk.

"Standard procedure; I have no choice but to go tougher on those kids", the young boy explained as he sat himself atop one of the comfy beanbag chairs. "They go soft, I get tougher, it's only natural."

"Fine, I'm just saying it's not your natural style", he explained to his friend as he poured himself a cup of the delicious hot chocolate.

"Yeah...", the raven haired boy replied in a whispery tone.

Though no sooner had he spoken those words did his eyes glaze over, a shadow of regret ever so present in those blacks orbs despite keeping such poised contact upon his gloved hands. Yet such regret did not go unnoticed by the blue eyed boy, feeling his own feelings of concern overtake him even as he opened his mouth to speak.

"So, how did things go on your break", Jeffery asked rather casually, immediately catching the attention of his spiky haired friend.

"Ah, it went okay...I ran into Rachel", Patton began, his tone a desperate attempt to sound calm yet casual.

"Oh, that sounds like it went okay", the blue eyed boy casually remarked.

"Oh yeah, it went great. That is until I shot you mouth off and pissed her off", the young boy replied as he attempted to constrain his own anger, catching his friends attention in the process.

"Again? Oh no, you didn't tell her about-"

"No", his raven haired friend angrily retorted, making him jump ever so slightly.

"Okay, just asking...So, what did happen", he calmly asked as he watched his friends forehead collide with his
threaded hands, even hearing a small sigh escape his throat.

"The whole "Zero" incident came up...She wanted to me to talk about it and I just didn't want to...I just...I didn't handle it as well as I should have, you know", the raven haired boy explained, his whispery tone enough to explain his current state of mind.

"But she was questioning you out of concern", asked the curious Jeffery.

"Is it that obvious", his friend replied in a blunt tone.

"So then why would that bother you", he asked as a moment of silence overtook the room, one which could only last for so long before being interrupted by a deep yet regretful sigh.

"I can't do it Jeff...I just can't...Every time I see her sweet smile now, it feels like someone's tabbing a hole in my heart", Patton explained, his tone clearly whispery if not painful sounding.

"Because of what happened with Grandfather...", the blue eyed boy asked, yet received no definite answer; all he received was a silent hanging head.

"I wish you could learn to let it go", his friend replied with concern, even as young Drill Sergeant turned to face him.

"Oh, so you're saying that I should just forget that I damned myself, my cadets and my leader", he asked, his tone angry, almost offensive in tone.

"I never said that, all I meant is that you need to accept it and move on", he explained in an exasperated tone.

"Oh come on, you know it's not that simple", the young boy replied in disbelief.

"Oh fine, fight it all you want. But just know that at some point, you're going to have to accept it. At some point, you're going to have to tell her", the blue eyed boy sternly remarked.

Yet, the only only reply he could receive from his friend turned out to be a deep sigh before he began to stare at his gloves once more.

"It's not that simple Jeff...She'd understand the feeling of losing honour...but I don't think she'd be prepared for what I'd have to say...", Patton began in a whispery tone, feeling nervous at the thought of his beloved friend's smile never to graze him again.

"Well, why don't you just confront her", Jeffery asked, surprising his mopey looking friend as he looked up to stare and gaze at his smiling face.

"Oh Jeff, I don't know; it sounds too risky", the young boy explained, his nervous tone evident as he brushed off such a thought with ease.

"Oh, come on; you won't know until you try", the blue eyed boy confidently remarked.

"That's just the problem", the raven haired boy explained rather bluntly.

"Ah, nonsense. Now, get a move on, you haven't been proactive all day", the auburn haired boy happily remarked as he pulled his raven haired friend off his seat and onto his feet before forcibly walking him towards the door.

"I'm allowed to not be proactive once in awhile", he remarked in a rather annoyed tone as desperately tried to fight off his friend's hold, but to no such avail.

"Not on my watch, you're not", he happily remarked as he continued to push his friend towards the door.

"But what about those documents I need to sign", he asked.

"Don't worry about it; I'll take care of them", the blue eyed boy happily remarked, much to the surprise and disbelief of his raven haired friend.

"Do you remember the last time you tried to forge someone's signature", the young boy asked in curiosity, watching his friend's smile fade as it was replaced by a blank stare.

"Oh yeah...Well, I'm sure Numbuh 362 won't notice", he confidently remarked, that is before having shivers run down his spine the moment witnessed the death glare Patton was currently giving him.

"Right...Well, good luck", Jeffery cheerfully remarked as he shoved his friend out of his office and into the corridor.

"But-"

Was all the time he was given to speak before watching the door slam in his face, allowing for his expression to turn blunt before releasing a deep sigh. Yet such a scowl could only last so long before he found his friends words reverberating in his head. They seemed so confident, so uplifting, it was even enough to make him smile.

"Ah, what the hell", the raven haired boy remarked rather casually, a smile on his face and gloved hands buried in his pockets as he made his way towards the docking bay once more.

End chap.9