AN: ...I had so much fun with this one. I was hoping to get it up earlier but I just kept adding to it and - well, here it is.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


My Blue Heaven

Written by Becks Rylynn


/5/


Title: Up in the Air
Prompt: Airplanes (thanks to HopeJalice4ever for the prompt)
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Romance
Words: 944


''This is not funny!''

Sitting across from his panicked brother, Sam tried his best to keep his patience in line. It was not an easy thing to do in this case. Not at all. He blew out a breath and reached out to place a hand on Dean's arm. ''Nobody said it was funny,'' he said gently.

Dean jerked his thumb in the direction of the woman sitting next to him. ''She smirked. For your information,'' he growled hotly, leaning closer to her. ''This is a very real fear. Avophobia is a real thing and people can die from phobias.''

''It's aviophobia, dumbass,'' she sneered, keeping her eyes firmly on her magazine.

''Oh, well, excuse me. You know what?'' Dean huffed in offense and continued to grip his arm rests so tightly his knuckles were quickly turning white. ''You don't get to judge me for this. You don't get to judge me for my fear because your greatest fear is ventriloquist dummies, and that's just dumb. No pun intended.''

That seemed to get a rise out of her. Scowling angrily, she closed her magazine and turned flickering black eyes to Dean. ''They're unnatural, okay? They're unnatural, they're gateways for evil and do you even realize how easy it is to possess a creepy little doll?''

''Ruby,'' Sam hissed out anxiously, kicking at her seat while he glanced around. ''Keep your voice down.''

''Sam!'' Dean whipped back around to face his brother, teeth clenched' ''Sing to me.''

Sam blanched. ''Um...what?''

''It calms. Me. Down!''

''I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that.''

''Sing yourself a lullaby, you paranoid freak,'' Ruby grumbled, pulling open her magazine with so much force she nearly tore the poor thing in half.

In response, Dean sunk farther into his seat, squeezed his eyes shut and began to hum Metallica at an incredibly agitating volume. Sam lifted his gaze to the heavens and shook his head. At least the humming was better than the endless ramblings about the statistics of airplane crashes. Of course it didn't take long for the increasing volume of Dean's humming to become bothersome to the other people, who were now sending dirty looks at them. Sam checked his watch. Ruby looked like she was seriously considering knocking Dean unconscious just to get him to shut up.

But then the plane hit a spot of turbulence and...suffice to say that ceased Dean's humming. ''Oh my god, what the fuck was that?'' He shot out of his seat like a rocket, breathing coming in short, uneven bursts as he twirled in a circle. He looked, for lack of a better definition, like a dog chasing his tail. ''Are we going down? We're going to die. We're all going to die!''

''Jesus Christ,'' Ruby got out through clenched teeth, yanking Dean back into his seat. ''Don't make me restrain you, short bus.''

''It was just a little turbulence,'' Sam offered helpfully. ''Everything's fi - ''

''Hey, stewardess person,'' Dean grasped the sleeve of an incoming flight attendant, staring up at her with wide, fearful eyes. ''You got any alcohol?''

She paused like she was trying to determine whether or not he was serious. ''Sir - ''

''Scotch? Whiskey? Beer? Anything? How about a sedative? Got any of those? I could really use one of those. Oh, forks! Do you have any forks?''

And that appeared to be the final straw for Ruby. Completely abandoning her plan to ignore Dean's idiosyncrasies, she grunted in frustration, tossed her magazine aside and then lazily declared, ''fuck it'' before she grabbed his shirt, pulled him to her and crashed her lips onto his. Dean's arms flailed helplessly for a second, nearly hitting Sam, and then he gave up and settled one hand on the small of her back while the other tangled in her hair. ...It didn't take Dean as long as it probably should have to melt into the kiss, and Sam couldn't even be bothered to act surprised. They weren't exactly flourishing at hiding their friends-with-benefits agreement they had working for them.

He shrugged and gave the flight attendant an apologetic smile. ''I think we're good.''

The kiss lasted longer than any kiss should in the presence of about thirty other people (those dirty looks had very quickly turned into disapproving raised eyebrows and the woman across from them gasped, scandalized, and covered her young son's eyes) and then Ruby abruptly shoved him away from her and pressed herself as far away from him as she could. While he sat back looking dazed and finally silent, she tapped her fingers on her leg, looking pensive. After a few seconds of apparent deep thinking, she brightened and leaned over to whisper something in Dean's ear. Then she took a deep breath, rose to her feet, pushed through them and calmly walked down the aisle.

Dean remained frozen in his seat, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. He blinked several times, licked his lips, opened his mouth to say something only to give up, and then a slow, goofy grin spread across his lips and he leaped to his feet, bouncing like an excited little child. ''I'm going to go to the bathroom now!''

A few people turned to give him slightly confused looks. A man in a suit smirked behind his newspaper.

Before he could get very far, Dean turned back and leaned down to Sam's level. ''By the way, that's code for I'm going to go join the mile high club,'' he bragged.

''Yes, Dean,'' Sam sighed. ''I got that. Thanks for over sharing.''

Dean gave him the thumbs up and then turned and sauntered towards the bathroom.

Well...

...Whatever worked.

end