AN: Originally I was going to do ZOMBIES next (thanks to tinkster for that prompt) and then I was going to do REVENGE (thanks to HopeJalice4ever) and then this happened and I still don't know how it happened but it did.

One quick note before I go on with the drabble-y thing: I have always really, really liked the song Little House by The Fray. It's awesome and yeah, I'll admit I have always thought of it as a Dean/Ruby song. Although to be fair, I can pretty much take any song and somehow loop it back to Dean/Ruby. But my theory on the song Little House by The Fray is that it signifies want and need and all of the things that we shouldn't want but that we DO want. It's a very panicked and frenzied sounding song. Panic is the thing that stands out to me the most about it and...there is definitely a certain degree of panic that comes with wanting something you know you shouldn't.

Oh, also, ALSO...this little story could be seen as a prequel to Everything You Want about when their ''relationship'' first started.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


My Blue Heaven

Written by Becks Rylynn


/6/


Title: Crave
Prompt: Little House by The Fray (thanks to tinkster for the prompt)
Rating: T
Genre: Angst/Romance
Words: 863


something is scratching its way out

something you want to forget about


She is the algorithm he has been waiting for.

It is not necessarily something surprising, but it is something that bothers him more than he cares to admit. She is the solution to the problem he has never been able to figure out, the answer he shouldn't know, the one woman he shouldn't want and the one woman he wants more than anything else in the world. He wants to take her apart and sew her back together again. He wants to curl his fingers into her hair and touch her skin just to know what it feels like and...and these are the things he shouldn't want. These are the things he should never want. Which is, again, relatively unsurprising.

Dean Winchester has always craved for things he cannot have. That is the story of his life. That is the road he walks. He is a rule breaker. A rebel. A wild soul drawn to all of the couldn'ts and shouldn'ts that make up the unchanged picture of life. And she is his new rebellion.


He is a fever that won't break.

The world spins off of its axis when he's around, swirling, shaking, quaking, and he is the center of the destruction that pins her under the debris of her heart. She is new and whole again, a pretty young blonde to the outside world, but she feels so old and so tired. In all of the hundreds of years she has lived, she has never felt like this before. The blood that flows in her veins flows for him, the wind in her hair whispers his name, and she can't sleep at night because he's there when she closes her eyes. If she ever bothered to try, she could find another. Someone who is handsome enough, smart enough, funny enough, but never enough. Except that she doesn't want another. She wants him.

Ruby has a bad habit of breaking rules and crossing lines. It is her destiny. It's what she's made of. The fine lines between love and hate blur within time and that frightens her more than she will ever admit. She could break the world, she could break necks with a twist of her wrist, she could destroy everything those Winchester boys have given their lives to save, and he will still be the center of the universe. And he could be all she knows one day.


One night, they stop dancing.

It is inevitable, really.


In a motel room in the middle of nowhere, he kisses her bare shoulder and trails his fingers up her thigh while she draws the sheets up to cover her body and stares up at the ceiling carefully like she's searching for absolution.

''Stop,'' she whispers.

''Do you want me to stop?'' He pulls away and grazes his fingers over her neck, brushing hair away from her face while his other hand slips under the sheets. He runs his hand up and down her back until she shivers, and she won't look at him but she closes her eyes and sighs. ''We could mean - ''

She opens her eyes and whips around to glare at him. ''Nothing.''

''We aren't bad,'' he protests vehemently. ''This isn't wrong.''

Sadness twists her features into a grim smile and she touches his cheek with the back of her fingers lightly. She presses her body into his, the sheets pool around her waist and the motel walls scream at them, telling them that this is a sin. That they are dirty. ''You keep telling yourself that.''


Life is chalk full of things that cannot be and cravings that run deep and poison your bloodstream. They are just another craving that can never be. The world spins on and nobody notices the way they look at each other.


The next time they see each other it's on a hunt. She waltzes in, all smirks and knives, and he looks at her for a long time, struggling to breathe. I know how badly you hunger for her, Dean, a voice rumbles from deep inside his subconscious. That kind of hunger never goes away. The voice sounds like Dad, deep and judgmental. Dean pales in the moonlight. You should never have that kind of hunger for something like her.

All very, very true.

But Dean breathes deeply and Ruby sighs tiredly and they both pretend it's not there.

''Hello, Ruby,'' he greets stiffly, locking eyes with her.

She tilts her head to the side. ''Hello, Dean.''

The craving goes deeper.

(They are an equation carved out of panic and need.

No, what they are - and always will be - is inevitable.)


a part of you that you'll never show

you're the only one that'll ever know


end