6
Clark picked up his sandwich and tried to ignore the fact that half the Watchtower commissary was staring at him. Gossip spread fast in the satellite and he didn't need superhearing to know that most of his colleagues were talking about Superman and consultant Watchtower's love child. Forcing himself to pay attention to the ham and swiss like it was the most important thing he'd ever seen, Clark was able to block out the whispers.
He was less successful at blocking out a certain Amazon.
"Kal?" Diana said, taking a seat across from him at the table. "May we talk?"
Clark bit into his sandwich and nodded. "I suppose if I said 'no' it would be useless."
"I would wait for a better time but my thoughts are still pressing."
"Then I suppose now would be the time," he said, setting his lunch down and looking at her. "What do you want to know?"
"I'm surprised that you and Chloe would have a child. I wouldn't expect either of you to do this to Lois."
Clark blinked. "I didn't. I learned that Christopher was mine about eight hours ago. I had no idea."
Diana considered that. "I see."
Clark snorted. "You thought that little of me?"
"Traditionally, no. There are fewer people I trust more but, frankly, I wasn't sure what to think. I know your relationship with Chloe has always been complicated."
"Chloe left for Singapore by the time I met you. Whatever you think you know basically comes from Oliver's big mouth or Bart's."
"I knew Chloe before I ever met you."
"Huh?"
"She made her way to Themyscira in her travels that year Darkseid was first in Metropolis. I heard she also came by Gotham. Surely she told you that?"
Thinking on it, Clark frowned. "She mentioned right before she took the job at the Register that she'd met a woman with abilities, but never connected it with your name." He chuckled. "She said you'd throw me for a loop, and I suppose that's been true."
"I am a handful."
"Definitely. I...so the billionaire with the toys had to be Bruce. Funny, neither of you ever bring it up."
"Some of it is out of sight, out of mind. Chloe's not really one of us anymore. She's a civilian. Otherwise, I'm afraid I made too many assumptions. I assumed she'd told you all about her time with my people. She had to pick up the hand to hand skills from somewhere, Kal-El. Clearly the better hacking and weaponry was from Bruce."
"Yeah, true," Clark replied and somehow the idea of Bruce standing close enough to Chloe to teach her how to shoot made him want to pound things to dust.
"Then you might be able to see why I'm confused. There is probably no person on Earth as loyal to those she loves as Chloe Sullivan. So how Christopher exists confounds me."
"Well, you didn't know me then. You didn't even join the League until Chloe was in her third trimester."
"Fair enough, but Lois...explain it to me."
"This is one of those days where I wish you'd grown up in the States. The euphemism for it is 'we were on a break.' I don't suppose Amazons take those."
Diana didn't even flinch, although he knew for a fact she and Steve Trevor had taken their own down turn in their relationship roller coaster. "You and Lois had broken up?"
"She called off the engagement, gave me my ring back. Hell, she took a temporary assignment to London to get off the same continent as me. It was pretty over."
"And Chloe what? I am trying to understand this, Kal, really I am."
Clark sighed. Diana was the only one who called him that. Most of the League now, save for Oliver and Bruce, would call him Kal-El. It was who he truly was after all. No need for Clark Kent to be associated with any of this. Still, Diana found it polite to just use his first name and it reminded him badly of Kara, whom had stolen a Legion ring and he'd not seen in nearly a decade. She was probably somewhere at the other end of the 31st century working with Garth and Imra.
He missed her.
"Kal?"
"Right. Well, I needed a place to stay. Oliver and Dinah weren't offering and I'd sold the farm about a year before. Mom had her hands full with Conner. Chloe had space in her apartment and it was much better than renting a motel room to go home alone to or trying to make do at the Fortress. I really didn't want to be alone."
Diana shook her head. "Chloe's in love with you."
"I'm not sure she's actually...she seems pretty monofocused these days on whatever Christopher needs and, you know, there is George."
"No, you fail to understand. Chloe's always been in love with you. It was obvious to me the day I met her she was running from something. As convenient as her being away from the League during the VRA witch hunt turned out to be, she had other options, other methods she could have chosen. She was clearly seeking distance from Metropolis and from you."
"Ouch. She was dating Oliver at the time. He was far gone on her. I mean when she left, he pretty much went bonkers. It's why people know his identity now. It inspired his horrible coming out decision. If anything, she'd have been reacting to Oliver."
Diana shook her head. "I know what I saw. She never mentioned Oliver, not once. She talked about you all the time. She didn't tell us your name, but she always had a story about some Smallvillian adventure. She kept looking at me sadly and telling me how much you'd like me."
Clark bit into the remaining half of his sandwich and chewed for a while. "Funny. No offense, Diana, you're a terrific friend and an even better fighter but I've never been attracted to you."
"Mutual, Kal, but I can understand her perspective. You have a clear type with strong-willed brunettes among other things."
The inability to hurt Diana. But by that logic, he'd long ago have abandoned everything for Maxima.
"True but I can't really imagine Chloe, alone, for weeks on a Greek island, singing my praises, especially after the year we'd had. Even with her living in Singapore and making minimal phone contact, I'd never felt more cut off from her than that year, ever, and that includes anything from Lionel Luthor."
She nodded. "Whether you can imagine it or not, it's true. Oliver wasn't a thought to her, but she wouldn't stop alluding to you. How did she even know that the VRA would come for you all. She was on our island by July before you all were taken in December."
"Dr. Fate's helmet. She put it on, to find Oliver, by the way, and had a few other leads. She said that part of what she saw was us being captured. It's good she did or there wouldn't even be a JLA."
"Touche," Diana conceded. "Kal, I don't suppose it ever occurred to you that she saw more than she's ever admitted to."
"She saw Cadmus Labs burning, where Oliver was held, and the VRA thing...oh and new I'd go back to my colors. It wasn't like she got years downloaded into her brain."
"She saw you?"
"Superman," he corrected. "As I would be, not dark trench coat wearing The Blur. I'd be lying if it wasn't part of the reason I went back to my House colors that year. Why?"
"Kal, please think for one second, just one."
"I'm not a bad thinker."
"Sometimes you get stuck in a myopic loop. My point is that if she saw you as you are now, what else would she have seen?"
"The rest of the League? Hell maybe she went to Gotham and to Themyscira because she saw both of you and knew how important you were. She's never really talked about the helmet with me sense."
"Possibly, I don't deny that, but I meant on a personal level. If she saw you as Superman then, is it really so hard to believe, that she saw her cousin with your ring on her finger?"
Suddenly, no longer hungry, Clark set down his sandwich. "What?"
"I know what I saw and Chloe in Themyscira was a woman running from utter heartbreak. If Oliver was as gone as her then as you say, then it wasn't him she was having problems with. You can't help what she saw or didn't see, and you certainly can't help that she made the decision to run."
"Why do I feel there's a 'but' here?"
"But," Diana continued. "But you've known her since you were both thirteen years old. Chloe is transparent when it comes to you, even among near strangers. Surely you had to know that spending time in her apartment after Lois left you was an incredibly stupid idea."
"I didn't go there to sleep with her."
"Why did you sleep with her? I fear that the answer is that she was a cheap Lois substitute at the moment. One sharp-tongued Sullivan-Lane reporter for the other. You'd not be the first Leaguer to swap out."
"I'm not Oliver!"
"Then why did you do it, Clark? You had to know that when you agreed to it that you were giving Chloe everything she'd ever wanted, that you'd have to merely grunt at a bed and she'd get in it for you."
"I know your people think lowly of men but it wasn't like that."
Diana considered that and shrugged. "How long before you left her for Lois."
"I...Lois called the day after."
"I see. It was wrong for Chloe to hide Christopher's parentage from you, but it wasn't much better that you used her for sex."
"I didn't use her!"
Diana stood up and threw her hair over her shoulder. "Maybe you didn't on purpose or maybe you really thought it was a magical moment, I do not know, but from where I stand, Kal, and from what I know about Chloe...this whole incident doesn't do you any favors."
Clark was halfway through the labyrinthine corridors of the Watchtower on the way to his quarters (all of the Big Seven had bunks for long nights), when J'onn crossed his path. He groaned. If his run in with Diana were any indication, nothing J'onn would have to add on this situation would be better.
"J'onn, hi," Clark said, putting on a bit of speed and hoping J'onn would get the hint he wanted rest after an incredibly stressful day.
Kal-El, I wanted to talk.
"I already had a disapproving talk with Diana. She had it covered, even if this mess is Chloe's fault."
Large red eyes blinked back at him. I wasn't coming to accuse. It would be fair to say that both you and Chloe made ill-advised decisions, and that the emotional fall out to both your long-term relationships because of Christopher will be harsh. Endurable, maybe even fixable, but harsh no doubt.
"Joy," Clark said walking into his room and sighing when J'onn followed in uninvited. "That is also something Diana, and, well, the gawking of everyone in the 'Tower indicated to me. What is it you want?"
Oh to have been assigned a less moody charge. J'onn quipped.
"I'm serious. I'm exhausted."
What are your plans from here on out?
"Well I have to tell Lois. That's unavoidable and I'd feel wrong not telling her. I just was too busy running from the army to make a call. I don't know how she'll take it."
J'onn shook his head. I assumed you'd do that. That's not what I was most concerned with.
"What were you concerned with?"
What happens to your son?
Clark pulled out his desk chair and straddled it, putting his chin on its back. "Whatever Chloe says, of course. We'll find a safe place for him. We'll have to put him in hiding, of course. It's sad but no less true that 'Christopher Dean' and 'Elizabeth Cochran Dean' no longer exist. It's not the first time Chloe's changed her identity and Christopher's young enough that it'll confuse him but he'll barely remember having been a 'Christopher' at all."
That's hard enough to deal with and especially harsh for a child so young. But we can hide him. We have the resources and the technology, but that's not what concerns me. Kal-El, what are your plans for him?
"I was supposed to have some?"
Now would be the time to get them.
Running a hand through his hair, Clark let out a deep breath. "I don't know. I figured Chloe would choose a place to lie low and, if she were smart, a place nowhere near the United States, and that she and Christopher would go there. I am not sure if George is going to stay around for this ride or not but he's always seemed like a good dad the few times I've visited. Of course when he gets a new power, I'd help him train with it. I'd visit for speed or heat vision but otherwise, he's Chloe's."
Do you want him to be?
"Meaning?"
You're acting as if he's a chore or something you have to arrange around, at least to contain his abilities when they come. He's your son.
"We're related. It happens. I don't want a son, J'onn."
Pardon the rhetoric, J'onn said. /i But bullshit. I can feel the confusion and anger and frustration rolling off of you. /i
"Stupid empaths."
No less true. You're deeply hurt Chloe kept him from you and you missed his milestones-both the human and Kryptonian ones. You've always wanted a child, at least since Evan.
Clark glared up at his mentor. "Out of my head. That's incredibly rude. I wanted kids once, sure. I wanted them back on the farm when I was still in high school and thought I loved Lana. I wasn't the same guy then. You know that."
You certainly haven't been the man you were for Evan with Conner. I'll grant you that.
"What's that supposed to mean? I gave him over to mom. Mom's the best at dealing with hormonal Kryptonians that there ever was. She gave him a good home until he went off to college."
It still could have been you then. Lois liked Conner well enough, despite what happened. Christopher should be more than someone you make sure doesn't abuse his powers or can't control them. He's not a chore; he's a child.
"I don't have time for children, J'onn. Frankly, after all these years with Lois, I assumed I wasn't compatible. How was I supposed to know that one night with Chloe and mission accomplished? But it's no less true. I have a world to save every day, all day. I don't have time for little league or for school plays, for teach conferences or chicken pox, assuming he could catch that."
You can have a calling and be a parent. I was.
"No offense, but you were a bounty hunter. You weren't the one with the weight of the world on his shoulders."
There is more than just you to save the world. I would think the irony of you insisting you're all alone in the middle of League headquarters would be slapping you in the face by now.
"Superman can't be too human, alright? I learned to fly finally by embracing that side of myself I'd run from. I don't need many human attachments. I don't need a family life. It's all a distraction."
J'onn nodded. Kal-El, do you have a single friend outside of the League?
"I don't see-"
Do you ever have a poker night with guys from your office or go to happy hour with Jimmy Olsen? Do you do anything but mark time at the DP, listening to scanners and the associated press wire, save people and go home to Lois?
"I save people. That's my life. I can't be selfish cause every minute I'm not out there, someone dies!"
I take that as a no. How can you save humanity, if you don't even remember what that is?
"Excuse me?"
J'onn shook his head and as Clark watched shrank and melted until his human persona, Shaft coat and all, was standing before him. "At this point, I'm more human than you are."
"Irony in that statement aside, how do you figure?"
"I care deeply about all of you. The League is where my best friends are and where the people who can know what I am are. It still doesn't mean that 'John Jones' doesn't have friends and sometimes lovers and things he does. Stupid human things-movies, sports, hanging out at a bar after a patrol, grabbing donuts of course. I need something to sustain me for the rest of the fight, to remind me why I do what I do."
"I do have that. Her name is Lois Lane. My fiance, remember?"
J'onn sighed. "That's not fair to her to make her your one reason for existence, essentially, and to charge her solely with being your tether to humanity. Worse still, it's incredibly unhealthy. You have never understood balance, Clark. When I met you, you were hiding on the farm and playing house with Lana, disinterested in any of your Kryptonian heritage."
"And I grew up a lot."
"And now, you're hiding most of the time at the DP, making Lois your whole world that's not involved with being Superman, and pretending you were never human."
"I wasn't for one thing and for another that's not true."
"When's the last time you visited Jonathan Kent's grave?"
"The day Darkseid tried to take over and Tess died."
"That was almost eight years ago now. When's the last time you called Martha?"
"Three weeks ago. So?"
"You're a grown man. No need for you to call her all the time. But she's still your mother and the fact you can go a month or more without contacting her...it's not good for you."
"Being human makes me weak. I tried that. It got people killed. I'm better this way. So if you're trying to tell me that I've fucked up my life somehow when I'm that beacon of hope my human father-by the way-always said I would be, I don't believe you. Christopher can always come to me about his abilities or if he has questions about his heritage. But he's Chloe's."
J'onn frowned. "Your tone makes the word 'problem' implied at the end of this sentence. But if I were you, I'd sit down with myself and ask one question."
"What?"
"When did you go from having your deepest desire be a son like Evan to it being to show as little human weakness as possible?"
"That's not-"
J'onn brought his forefinger to his temple. "It's exactly what you're thinking. Goodnight, Clark."
