So… flamer, what? You're called the Flamer, you say 'Stupid' as if it is a crippling insult and I should go curl up in a fetal position sobbing 'stupid… they said stupid… I shall never recover…', then you tell me I was flamed, you say you're a flamer called the Flamer and you flame, then you say you're going to sign out, (mentioning you're a flamer, in case I forgot) then you do sign out (thank god you wrote your name, it slipped my mind.)
WarriorCat99: I'm sorry I called her Mossheart; I've always hated the –heart suffix, but Bluestar must have thought of it under stress, right? So you think Rainpaw is cute. Wait til you see what I'm going to do to her… Break The Cutie is in full effect.
RainbowNinjaUnicorn279 Can I just say I love your name? And what did you find creepy? Please tell me, so I can do more of it ^^ Different? I'm taking that as a (large) compliment.
shadowcharmerdemon: Thank you for reviewing! You were… my first favourite-er, were you not? I think I sent you a message thanking you, I was so excited. ^^ -sits back to watch explosion- I need another cliffhanger…
Phoenixlight13: NEW REVIEWER! You have no idea how happy that makes me. I'm glad you like it.
On a recent re-read, I noticed how many consistency errors there are (mentions of Tawnypelt's kits, confusion over the seeing-pool.) Just bear with me, okay? I'm still working this whole thing out,
And. By the way. I GOT ONTO THE TV TROPES PAGE FOR WARRIORS FANFIC RECCOMENDATIONS THANK YOU WHOEVER DID THIS THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU IF IT WAS YOU COME TO ME AND I WILL HUG YOU FOREVER
UDIUDSBUIFBVUCBDFUXBNB;;;;;;;IBIOEWSIAIBVZXWIOESRIO;HIO;AT4REUSPWU9;P2Q8090EW80WJSZDXM !
-looks very dignified- Thank you. –cough—
I also need suggestions for Rainpaw's warrior name. If she gets one. She probably will. Maybe. Depends on if she dies before it.
If the spaces in italics don't show up, it's because of . I've tried to fix it, but I'm unsure if it worked. Sorry if it doesn't.
This story seems to have a jumpy plot and many unrelated scenes, but they all tie together. I swear.
The night Molepaw died, Honeypaw had just stared. At the wall of the den, at the skinny mouse Leafpool had shoved in front of her, at the way the brambles stayed still and strong no matter how hard the wind hit it. She wondered how it did that, but not for long. It didn't seem like an appropriate thing to care about when Molepaw was soon going to be slowly eaten by worms, flesh disentigrating into the dirt and earth and grass and squirrel shit. She closed her eyes and curled up against his body, shifting away from where she could feel Cinderpaws's heartbeat and ribs.
'I'm becoming a medicine cat,' she announced that morning, as she and her littermates (but I can just say sisters now can't I) curled up in their nests.
Hazelpaw, who had joined them on vigil, looked startled. 'But- Honeypaw, you- a warrior.'
'A good medicine cat would never have let Molepaw die,' she said stubbornly. 'And… if I do…' she looked pained. 'I can see him again.' Her voice was blunt and unsentimental.
Cinderpaw sighed, probably thinking that Honeypaw would forget her plan as they fell asleep.
Honeypaw didn't.
…
Outside the alley, the streets were a riot of cheap flashing light and the slow hums and beeps of monsters and the click of high heels on the rough footpath,
Here, there was no sound, apart from the irregular drip of a murky liquid from a plastic bag dangling out of a grimy dumpster.
A calico she-cat woke, her eyes shining and wild as she looked around hopefully. At the sight of her muddy home, she sighed and looked deflated.
The she-cat glanced outside her alley, Her ribs jutted out sharply; her pretty blue eyes were hardened once again. She
A tom hesitated at the entrance to the alley. 'Suspiria? Is that you?'
She gave a brief nod, then realized that he couldn't see her. 'I'm here.'
He padded down to her, eyes concerned. 'Why did you arrange to meet me? How come-?'
Suspiria's eyes glimmered briefly. 'If you need to know everything, it's a wonder you've survived this long without pissing somebody off a little too much. And no Scourge to protect you. Sit.'
Muttering something resentful, he plonked himself down on a relatively clean block of concrete. 'If you brought me here just to taunt me, I have kits to feed,' he said bitterly, concern evaporating.
'Oh. Family tom now, is it?' she replied, equally bitter. 'How sweet. Who's the lucky she-cat?'
'Her name is Emillene.' His voice was cold; he was practically spitting. Long gone are the days of young cats joined lightly in uncomplicated friendship; who had no idea that ther lives were not normal. 'She's a kittypet, and the kits live with her and her housefolk.'
'A kittypet?' Suspiria's lip curled. 'You've really stooped so low? Caust, the fearful, loyal warrior of BloodClan, fucking a kittypet?' She shook her head in mock sorrow. 'I'm so disappointed in you.'
Caust glared at her. 'You still speak about BloodClan?'
She sighed, and for a moment lost that tough, relentless look. 'It's my home.'
'Was,' he corrected, and couldn't help taking a sort of delight from the pain on her face. 'It's gone now. Nostalgic, are we? Ah, yes, the good ol' days of-' Murder, rape, thievery and betrayal?
Suspiria focused on the wall above his head. 'The point is… I want to found it again. BloodClan starved, but we were strong, and as a group we were powerful. Now, we're just… petty scum, squabbling over every last scrap of housefolk waste. Unity is what we need. Caust, please.'
What.Wait,what?'BloodClan is gone. Gone. Scourge died months ago. We're… you've… you're insane. Why did you even bother- contacting me after so long-'
'The stars,' she said softly. 'The stars. I'm a street cat, but I can feel it. The squirrelcats fled when the housefolk demolished the forest, but do you feel what they left behind?'
'Something disturbing in your head,' Caust said slowly. 'These cats have given up on this. Scourge was the one thing keeping us together, and nobody wants to return to what… what we were. It's over.'
He did not add: And so are we.That would have gone too far, and clearly Suspiria didn't need any more memories of days long gone.
'Go, then,' she said coldly. 'Go back to your lovely little trophy mate and adorable little kits who are going to have their balls sliced apart and drowned if they ever realise that cats aren't meant to be restrained. Don't remember the days when you were part of something.'
Caust wanted to say more, but after a moment he turned and left the alley. Suspira glared after him with impossible amounts of hatred in her eyes, then retreated to the gloom behind the dumpster.
She dreamt of the Tribe.
…
The second time Rainpaw had the dream, (?) she was fully aware, and noticed everything. The carefree look in Honeypaw's eyes as she woke her. The way the sunlight filtered through the tangled bush, catching and glinting on Berrypaw's whiskers. The coarse, scruffy moss beneath her.
'Rainpaw! Brackenfur wants us to go on patrol with him!'
She still couldn't control what she did; Rainpaw wailed inwardly as she bounced through the forest. The tree- the same tree she'd jumped off a few hours ago- was tall and slender in the pale sun. Rainpaw felt like skittering away from it, but her paws forced her to pad breezily past. Her skin crawled.
'-learned my lesson about fox traps, don't worry.'
Rainpaw and Cloudtail padded through the forest. Rainpaw's body was confidently striding, but she had no idea where she was; the fox traps had only been mentioned a few times in the conversations she'd heard, and she had never been interested in just flicking around the forest when there was eavesdropping to be done.
'So, what do we do when we're hunting for fox traps?' the pure white tom asked.
'We keep a look out, tread carefully, and carry a very big stick,' Rainpaw heard herself saying. Cloudtail gave a purr of amusment.
'So find one.'
Obediently, Rainpaw's body led her to the bushes, and she pawed through the rubble of leaves. Let me out,she thought.I don't want to be here. Please let me out.
Snap the fox traps closed, head back to the camp, eat (this was what Rainpaw enjoyed; in her head she gave several excalations of bliss at the indescribably delicious flesh) and settle to practicing battles amongst the boulders.
She was pleased to find that this version of herself was an expert fighter as well.
While Rainpaw was circling around Mousepaw, ready to strike, something inside her snapped. Rainpaw fell back at the short burst of electrifying pain (that hadn't been there the last time this happened) and she stumbled.
It was so hard to walk all of a sudden.
'Rainpaw? You okay?' Poppypaw looked down at her, concerned.
'Mmm,' she muttered, and it was her speaking. 'Who was Cinderpelt?'
Poppypaw just looked startled, but the gray-and-white tom mewed, 'Rainpaw, what's going on? About a week of your life collectively has been listening to your father ramble about her…'
'Oh this is no good.' She fell back, frustrated. 'I need to go back.'
The two apprentices looked disturbed; Mousepaw fled to the medicine den.
'Um, no…' Rainpaw managed to stagger to her feet and lumber away. 'You don't want to do that.' She hesitantly lowered her head and wrenched at her pelt. It was difficult; her body instinctively steered it away; but a very satisfying smear of blood appeared. 'Just let me go back.'
Because everything about the Under felt wrong; the air was too thin and sharp, the scents were musky and faint, the trees were surprisingly solid and so… warm. Back home, the trees were refreshingly cold.
'Rainpaw!' Poppypaw yowled in horror. 'What are you doing? Stop- oh StarClan-'
'It's founders,' Rainpaw whispered quietly. 'It's founders.'
Her claws scrabbled uncertainly at her chest, beads of blood rolling down, thick bright red and so unfamiliar. Her paw slipped down to her stomach, and the scar was still there.
Memories of Bluestar's eyes, of cold claws tearing at her pelt, of a kit screeching under her own paws and how good it had felt but then how they had ruined it. Those stars. The stars making her pelt shrivel and pucker and peel back and her skin turn red and shiny and blistered. And that scar.
Rainpaw staggered to the camp door, leaving smudges of scarlet on the boulders she brushed against. Then she fell, and it all went mercifully black.
….
The den was bright and pale. Rainpaw twitched in her nest, and her chin instantly tightened to her chest. Fluffy pelt, clean and only slightly damp from falling in the pool. She raised her head, listening to the distant mumbles of the seeing-pool outside. Only one cat was curled up in the den apart from her; Tigerpaw looked as if she had given up on watching for the day, and was sleeping soundly.
I envy her.
For the first time, she pondered whether Mossheart/Bluestar had been in Cinderpaw's dreams every night. This, this whole alternate universe thing had only happened twice now, and she was already feeling ragged and hollow.
'I'm glad it's happening to Cinderpaw instead,' she muttered, resting her head on her paws, trying to shake how rattled she was feeling. Your own teeth, shredding your own flesh, it wasn't like a dream you could forget about.
She still felt the resounding sting of the kits, the three, in her chest. It had seared like fire, through every cat in StarClan, and despite Bluestar's attempts to stop it the prophecy rang out silent but so loud it hurt ears
THERE WILL BE THREE KIN OF YOUR KIN WHO WILL HOLD THE POWER OF THE STARS IN THEIR PAWS
She rose and padded outside. The other apprentices were scattered around the seeing-pool, slumbering quietly. The sky was gray, and the silence had a sound to it; static, low hums, the distant glare of the sun. The images of the seeing-pool flickered softly, the voices were hushed and tense.
Rainpaw knocked her way through them and shoved her nose into the seeing-pool. 'ThunderClan apprentice den,' she demanded, the words familiar on her tongue.
'What are you doing?' Rosepaw asked. 'We were watching Leafpool's-'
A tortoiseshell tom glared at her and swished his tail along her mouth. 'Squirrelflight's kits.'
Sweetpaw looked confused. 'No, they're Leafpool's. Haven't you been paying-'
A few more apprentices began to wake. 'Oh goody, it's the psycho,' Thistlepaw muttered, but Rainpaw ignored him, which was the best thing to do when he was breathing within forty-eight feet of her.
'I need to see something,' Rainpaw barked, pacing slightly as the pool rippled and grew vivid. Scuds of clouds darkened the surface, but you could make out what was happening anyway. Cinderpaw was pacing, looking disturbed.
'The others are all with Squirrelflight's kits,' somebody said helpfully. 'Except Berrypaw, he's hunting. Do we have to watch this? The three-' Somebody nudged the speaker, and he quitened. It was already an unspoken law not to speak of it.
Rainpaw nodded briefly. 'I don't understand,' she said furiously. 'She's, they're, dreams, founders I'm tired…' Rainpaw sighed. 'I need to sleep without goint into some alterna-'
'Is that them?'
Molepaw was standing with wide eyes behind a tabby, staring intensely at the seeing-pool. 'Are they in there?'
Sweetpaw gestured to the pool. 'If you mean your family, yeah. You can watch them-'
'We don't encourage too much remembering of days passed,' Molewhisker broke in. 'Everybody knows this is paradise, and we don't need to be reminded of something we have no need to care about. But it's wonderful to see Molepaw out and socializing! Although he will have to adjust his sleeping schedule, because we sleep in the day! I understand it's difficult adjusting, but this is your wonderful new home forever!'
'Until he fades or rots,' Rainpaw couldn't help saying sleepily, and instantly regretted it. Please tell me I didn't just say that!
'Isn't… the whole point of StarClan to be able to watch the Clans?' Molepaw asked obliviously.
Molewhisker looked strained. 'Why- uh- No! You're here to construct an entirely new life with no challenges! Why bother your eternal rest with thoughts of cats who will one day be as lucky as you? Now, everyone, I think you should go back to sleep. And, Rainpaw? Please could you not disturb the seeing-pool with selfish watching? You aren't the only one who matters! Sweet dreams!'
'Molewhisker?' someone asked. 'Who are the three, and what does it mean by-'
'Don't speak rubbish!'
Somebody had already switched the pool back to Squirrelflight and her kits. Rainpaw lingered for a moment, then returned to her den.
'What was that?' Tigerpaw asked blearily, raising a groggy head from her paws.
'A thing… a… nothing. Don't worry about it.'
'I can't stand that expression,' Tigerpaw mewed. 'I wasn't worrying, just asking, probably to be polite, and I don't actually care about the answer unless it affects me. I wasn't planning on worrying.'
Rainpaw glared at her. 'You don't care about anything that doesn't affect you? How selfless you are.'
'That's the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard,' Tigerpaw shot back. 'Telling me I'm selfish, coming from you?'
'What about me?' Rainpaw snapped, just wanting to sleep.
Tigerpaw shook her head. 'Don't worry about it,' she said gloatingly.
The brown she-cat huffed and lay her head down. Her eyes fluttered shut without her realizing, and she quickly opened them. 'She's supposed to be the friendly, sweet, optimistic, excitable one,' Rainpaw said to herself.
Tigerpaw didn't look concerned. 'I'm not some one-dimensional stock background character who fills random minor roles in your life as an interchangable… thingy.'
'That qualifies at suspiciously specific denial,' Rainpaw pointed out.
Tigerpaw nodded vaguely. 'Rainpaw, what did you mean by talking about Molepaw rotting?'
Rainpaw shot her a startled glance. 'I- what? You didn't hear. You asked what we were talking about-'
'Just to see what you'd say,' Tigerpaw replied brightly. 'Because you're pretty much a pathological lia-'
Molewhisker appeared at the entrance to the den, glaring at them. 'If you aren't at the seeing-pool, you're supposed to be asleep all day. To sleep,girls.'
paw rolled her eyes, but lay down obediently; Rainpaw looked terrified. 'I'm, I'm not tired.'
'Your eyelids are drooping,' Molewhisker said pointedly.
'That's… I'm… I can't, I-'
She had slept, but it didn't make a difference. Not when the dreams came and they-
'Go. To. Sleep,' Molewhisker snapped. He'd been so touchy since Dawnbright had faded.
Rainpaw didn't move.
'Shut your eyes,' Molewhisker snarled.
She didn't want to, she couldn't because it would come again and she'd have to kill herself again and she can't she just
Her eyes closed.
'Rainpaw! Brackenfur wants us to go on patrol with him!'
…
That night it almost snowed.
That night yet another Clan cat died. Heavystep this time. Yesterday it had been Mistyfoot and Thornclaw. Silent battles. Silent deaths.
Another cat began to rot, and went to Bluestar for help. He wouldn't fade, even when she tore his stomach apart, ripped his throat out. She didn't want to look at him.
The quiet war with the Dark Forest went on. There were a few fadings, but not many.
In StarClan, life went on sparkly and happy, and nobody spoke about it when cats mysteriously disappeared.
Tigerstar planned.
…..
'Tigerpaw! Rainpaw! Special visitor!'
Rainpaw didn't wake up.
….
'Rainpaw, please stop this!'
'I can't- I can't get the poppy seeds into her!' Leafpool cried over her shoulder to Brightheart. 'If you could just-'
'Let me,' Rainpaw snarled. She felt lighter this time. It didn't feel as if she was sinking into the ground when control switched to her. A strip of flesh dangled from her chest. It hurt more than last time, tearing herself open, but it was the one way out. She had no tree to jump from this time, and she had hated the feeling of that anyway- that frantic rush and the giddy, nauseous feeling in the back of her mind.
'What's wrong with you?' Poppypaw was whispering, looking terrified. 'Rainpaw, why are you doing this?'
…
Tigerpaw sprang up from her nest and gave herself a few hasty licks. She didn't ask what the visitor was, looking distinctly unenthusiastic.
'Is she usually such a heavy sleeper?' Molewhisker asked impatiently.
Rainpaw's eyes opened violently and suddenly. '-choice,' she murmured, then started as Molewhisker glared at her, his eyes glinting with a fierce light.
It was night now, and the stars were pale and cold.
'What is it?' she asked uncertainly. 'Did I so something wrong?'
'Special event,' Molewhisker said, then closed his eyes for a moment and continued: 'A very special big day! Everybody else is down near the rock, waiting! You two should get a move on!'
Rainpaw remained curled in her den, eyes wide. Her chest was dry and whole again. Her head wasn't spinning and light. Her heart was still beating, the blood was still flowing.
'What's happening?' she whispered, still exhausted. The pain in her chest- from both her deaths, and from the Three, and from the pain as control of the body transitioned to her, and the sudden flow of nausea from the sickly-sweet scent and the shiny trees that seemed to pulse slightly when she wasn't looking at them- and she just wanted to go. Leave everything. Nothing was going to get better. This pain was going to kill her soon, and if she was going to die, let it be on her terms-
'Rainpaw! Stop daydreaming, and toddle along to this assembly!'
Fuckyou.She rose, shaking, and padded outside, sitting on the edge of a large, rippling crowd of pelts.
A ginger she-cat stood on the rock, her improbable blue eyes shining brilliantly, in a mocking sort of way. As the apprentices quietened, she began with, 'Hi! My name is Oaktail, and I've been sent by Bluestar herself to speak to you and train you!'
At the mention of Bluestar, Rainpaw felt her blood frost over. She wondered wildly if they were a thin layer of ice like they were warned about, and would crack if you walked on them, and any innocent little kit walking along her veins would drown, and everything seemed to scare her nowadays and
'As you know, our eternal foes are the Dark Forest. While there is no reason to worry about them yet, some of you will be given the option to battle them in a war, if such an unlikely event occurs. I'll be living with all of you to teach you to fight like a warrior, learn battle tactics, and teach you the proper ways of StarClan.'
The third dream had tipped Rainpaw over the edge. She didn't think she could speak, she certainly couldn't stop trembling or her chest twitching where she had torn into it twice, she felt like hiding from Oaktail, who was speaking with such a happy tone.
'It's actually only me for the first few days, but soon other cats shall come join me! Please don't get up to any mischief while I'm around.
'Now, we'll be in several groups divided by age. I'll be going between all of them, but all of your mentors will be supervising- there's only seven of you,' she observed abruptly. 'Where's the other ThunderClan mentor?'
'Dawnbright?' Molewhisker looked strained. 'Oh, she's… around…' His voice sounded flat.
Oaktail glared suspiciously at him. 'If you say so… now, sort yourself into groups divided by Clan, and whether you're in the younger or older age groups!'
'Does gender count?' Thistlepaw called; at her shake of the head, he instantly banded with Sweetpaw. Rainpaw padded obediently towards them, not quite taking in that they were being trained for a battle against the Dark Forest. A battle. Dark forest. Trained. It just sat on the surface of all the pain and confusion.
Tigerpaw stepped beside her. 'Are you okay?' she asked, sounding oddly concerned.
'I'm… fine, yes,' Rainpaw mumbled as Molewhisker padded over to them. 'Younger ThunderClan cats! Oaktail's informed me to teach you a new move. More complex ones then you've ever tried. We'll begin with a difficult one, just to give you a taste.' Molewhisker's constant narration always irritated her. 'You just have to flick your hind legs up in the air, spin on your forepaws, leap backwards then rear up and strike, possibly with a forward roll.'
The apprentices looked confused.
'It makes sense!' Molewhisker insisted raggedly. 'You just, uh, it's… you'll get the hang of it. Divide into pairs and practice.'
'You're a good fighter. This is completely confusing, so please help,' Tigerpaw pleaded. Rainpaw looked, confused,at her. The white she-cat rolled her eyes. 'Partner?'
'Oh. Sure.'
Tigerpaw stood in front of her as Rainpaw prepared to strike. She lunged her hind legs up, enjoying how it felt on her aching flesh, then twisted her forepaws. She staggered, but managed to remain up, and attemped the backwards leap towards Tigerpaw. She collapsed onto the moss, seething.
'That was pretty good!' Molewhisker said brightly, heading towards them. 'You're an excellent fighter! You'll have this move down in no time-'
'Usually,' Rainpaw interrupted hotly, 'I get moves on the first try.'
The tom blinked. 'Well, yes, but this is very advanced, and it would be abnormal to get it done within your first few attempts.'
She didn't listen. It had to be the dreams, affecting her one skill, the only thing she could take pride in. 'I ama good fighter,' she snarled to nobody in particular, and kicked up again.
'I thought this was your turn,' Molewhisker murmured to Tigerpaw, who looked unconcerned.
Rainpaw spun lightly, feeling the familiar rush of elation as she managed a move. She kicked off the moss, and gave the air several vicious swipes, tumbling forward in a hasty forward roll. She glanced up, eyes shining wildly. 'See?' she panted. 'I can do it. I can do it quickly. I'm a good fighter.'
She realized Oaktail was watching, and froze in the midst of her bragging.
'Wonderful,' the ginger tabby said with real enthusiasm, 'that's great. I haven't seen such a fighting talent for a long time.'
Despite her fears about Oaktail, she couldn't help but enjoy the praise. 'Thanks,' she said quietly. 'Can I try it again?'
'Tigerpaw this time, I think,' Oaktail suggested, leaving to hover over the older ShadowClan group.
As the younger white she-cat prepared to strike, the other cats around them hadn't noticed Rainpaw's almost-perfect attack. Thistlepaw and Sweetpaw were giggling and rolling around, licking each other and playfully batting with claws unsheathed; others were focused on the frustrating, illogical move. The older ThunderClanners were standing around awkwardly, a few trying out the attack, most talking amongst themselves. Rainpaw wished they had all seen, so they could congratulate her some more.
The training went on for half the night. Rainpaw tried to use the seeing-pool after they had dispersed, but it was in use of a greater crowd who weren't interested in watching Cinderpaw stir in her sleep. She tried retreating into the forest, but it seemed so sparkly and eye-watering compared to the shady forest of the Clans
(which was strange, since she had never found the trees around the apprentice area to be too bright before, and the woods of below had made her skin crawl)
that she just wanted to close her eyes, but she knew that would lead to sleep, because after the exhilerating challenge of the move she had dissolved back into exhaustion.
The day came, and she curled up in the den as usual.
She managed to keep herself awake, for a while, she was shaking and murmuring to herself and her thoughts were in turmoil, and she had all but given up on dignity, on her previous tactic on never letting weaknesses being shown in public.
The den was dusty and bright. Rainpaw tried to study the moss, how dry it was, how it was a darker, pure green rather than shiny minty silver when you tore it open, but it did nothing to distract her. She flicked her tail back and forth, she studied the complex looping of the thornless bracken, the way the ferns drooped and shifted in the breeze, the way everything subtly moved it you looked at it.
When two cats entered the den, she assumed it to be returners from the seeing-pool. But one bent to speak to her, and it was Oaktail's voice that said, 'Get up. You and six others have been chosen to defend the borders against the Dark Forest. Follow me or I swear by Bluestar I'll fade you.'
'She has permission,' Bluestar added.
