AN: And I'm back from my vacation with a little Lila Bray 'verse oneshot! This one was actually started way back in...May-ish? I think. Anyway, I was talking to my friend Amanda and I'm not sure what we were talking about or how we got on the topic of Dean's outfit in ''After School Special'' but all I remember clearly is that she said, ''All I see is Ruby laughing at Dean's shorts'' and thus, this was born. It kind of sat unfinished on my computer for the longest time, but I found it today and decided to finish it so here we are.

Also, for those of you wondering, I'm working hard to get a new chapter of ''you're my playground love'' up sometime this weekend and I'm also working hard on chapter fifteen of ''Everything You Want.'' Sadly, I didn't have as much time to write this summer as I thought I would, but I'll get everything done somehow.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


My Blue Heaven

Written by Becks Rylynn


/8/


Title: I'll be your girl backstage at your show
Prompt: 4.13: After School Special; ''All I see is Ruby laughing at Dean's shorts'' - Amanda (Daddy's LiL HeartBreaker)
Characters/Pairing(s): Dean/Ruby, Lila Bray.
Rating: K+
Genre: Humor/Romance.
Words: 1,333
Notes: Lila Bray 'verse. Title from the song Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.


The life of a substitute gym teacher is a tedious one.

And the shorts chaff in places. It's unpleasant.

He's trying to be patient with Sam on this case. He's not at all sure that it's working, but he is trying. Dean's memories of this particular high school aren't all that super, but Sam is...Sam is different. Truth be told, Dean isn't enjoying whatever seems to be happening to his relationship with his brother. There's a certain feeling of disintegration that has wormed its way into their lives, and Dean doesn't like it one bit, so if he has to stand in this stupid school again and play teacher just to feel like things aren't completely falling apart then that is what he will do.

In between crowds of mouthy little midgets pelting each other with balls (heh), Dean is standing in the gym, absently humming Metallica to himself. Then the lights flicker. It's only for a brief second and it could very well be just a simple electrical issue, but Dean's brain isn't wired to believe in electrical issues. He straightens, body tensing noticeably. It's while he's eyeing the empty space in front of him that he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Swallowing down a sigh, he whirls around...and suddenly becomes very aware that he looks like a doofus.

He lets loose a nervous sounding laugh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. ''Oh, uh...'' He clears his throat. ''...Hi, girls.''

Ruby gapes at him for several seconds with her mouth hanging open. Even Bray, swaddled in blankets in her carrier, seems to be mocking him with her mother's eyes.

''So,'' he bounces on the balls of his feet and crosses his arms over his chest. ''How're you doin'?''

Ruby shakes her head, sighs lowly, and lowers her head ever so slightly, just enough to peer up at him through her eyelashes.

''What are you doing here?''

Instead of answering, Ruby whips out her phone before he has a chance to hide and snaps a picture of him. He heaves a sigh. Probably should have seen that one coming. A bright smile breaks out on her face as she stares down at the picture. ''Oh, man, this is gonna be next year's Christmas card. No, wait. Screw that. I'm sending this to everyone we know right now.'' Eyes widening, Dean makes a desperate grab for the phone. She hands him the baby carrier instead - Bray is still staring up at him like she thinks he's the biggest moron there ever was, by the way. But that might just be gas - and dodges artfully out of the way, eyes on her phone. ''I'm going to send this to Bobby, Rufus, Ellen and - Jo. Oh my god, Jo needs to see this. There's no way she'll continue to lust after you if she sees you like this. And Cas!'' She giggles wickedly, animatedly pressing buttons on her phone. ''Cas needs to see this! He won't understand it, of course, but still...''

''Ruby - ''

''You look like a really dorky Chippendale dancer,'' she laughs.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. ''I don't know what made you so cruel,'' he says hotly.

''Aww, somebody's shorts are bunched up - '' She breaks off in a gasp, eyes practically bugging out of their sockets. ''Look at your whistle!'' Dissolving into laughter again, she stumbles forwards to wrap her arms around him, fingers playing with the whistle around his neck. ''A person could go mad with this kind of power,'' she says sagely. ''You better be careful. Bray,'' she turns her gaze to the baby in the carrier. ''These are your genes. Aren't you proud? Honestly, Dean,'' she shakes her head, clicking her tongue in mock disappointment. ''How do you manage to get yourself into these situations? Are you seriously this willing to be a goofball?''

Always.

''Yeah, yeah,'' he wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. ''Yuk it up, Blondie. One of these days, you'll be the one in the embarrassing outfit and I'll be the one laughing.''

''Hmm. Is that so?''

''It's gonna happen. It happens to all of us.''

''Oh! Video!'' Her sudden yelp startles him into drawing away from her and the second he does, she pushes away from him, eyes lighting up with that mischievous and slightly stark raving mad look. Ignoring the look on his face, she takes Bray from him, pulls out her phone again and points it at him. ''Okay, Dean,'' she says. ''Is there anything you'd like to say to the internet?''

''You're crazy,'' he spits.

''Come on! Strike a pose for YouTube.''

''Yeah, plaster my face all over the internet,'' he nods. ''Good idea. 'Cause it's not like I'm legally dead or anything.''

''Good point. I'll have to remember to talk to Cas about erasing your legal records.''

He arches an eyebrow. ''You'd do all that just to - ''

''Put this monstrosity of an outfit on the internet so that billions of people can make fun of you? Yep. Sure would.''

''I don't know what I see in you,'' he sniffs, sticking his nose up in the air.

''I gave birth to your spawn less than two months ago,'' she reminds him.

''Right. The spawn.'' He shakes his head and looks over at Bray. ''Look what you've done.''

Ruby would respond, but she's too busy fiddling with her phone to pay much attention to what he's doing. ''And,'' she presses one last button on her phone and her eyes light up excitedly. ''Sent.''

(At the end of the case, Ruby meets him by the school with a whistle hanging from her finger and says, ''I thought you'd want to keep a souvenir.'')


A couple weeks later, the Harvelles are passing through South Dakota on their way to the hunt at the same time the Winchester Clan is passing through on their way to a hunt in the other direction, so they all end up meeting up at Bobby's, and Dean has learned that things always seem to go a little haywire when the Harvelles are passing through. The last time they passed through, Ruby went into labor. So, anyway, the Harvelles are passing through. Bobby, Sam and Ruby are the first ones to greet them because he's upstairs changing Bray's diaper. When he comes downstairs to greet them, Jo and Ruby are talking and whispering, giggling silently over in the corner.

It is never a good sign when those two are getting along.

Before he has a chance to open his mouth, Jo is bouncing up to him with her phone in her hands. ''Hi, Dean!'' She chirps cheerfully. ''Wanna see my new screensaver?''

He leans away from her suspiciously. ''Why?''

She shrugs. ''Just 'cause.'' She looks down at her cell phone, presses a button, and turns it around to show him.

He pales drastically and looks over her shoulder at Ruby, whose entire body is folded in laughter. For a moment, he weighs his options. One the one hand, she hasn't laughed like that in ages and it is nice to see her laugh. On the other hand, she took a picture of him in what has to be the most embarrassing outfit on the planet and sent it to everyone they know. ''Jo,'' he says calmly. ''Will you hold Lila Bray for a second?''

''I...'' Looking slightly disappointed at his non reaction, she accepts the baby he hands her somewhat awkwardly. ''...Okay.''

Dean steps past Jo and points an accusing finger in Ruby's direction. ''You,'' he warns lowly, ''better run.''

Shrieking in laughter, she whirls around the second he makes a move for her and darts away from him. He races after her and they both disappear out the back door, the sound of Ruby's shrieking laughter echoing through the cold air.

Jo blinks after them and then looks down at the baby in her arms. ''Don't worry,'' she tells the wide-eyed baby. ''Daddy's just makin' Mommy run laps.''

end