Part three
Monday afternoon, Tony found himself called up to the director's office to discuss adding a new member to the team to make up for Gibbs' absence. He sent McGee and Ziva home and headed up the stairs, with a sense of dread. Despite being one less team member, they were a tight group and finally functioning as a team again. He feared that adding someone new would throw off the balance and they would have to start from the beginning again. The meeting went fairly quickly, but he left in a foul mood knowing he'd have to tell the team tomorrow about adding Michelle Lee to the team. As he rounded the corner to an almost empty squad room, he saw Abby sitting at his desk, her heavy boots propped up on her face. "I almost thought you snuck out without me when I saw everyone was-" Abby sat up at the serious look on his face. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, let's go." Tony grabbed his bag and waited until Abby was up from his chair before switching off the desk lamp and heading for the elevator.
He knew it wasn't fair that he was being so quiet, and he could tell it was taking everything she had not to call him out on it again. "I have to add Michelle Lee to the team."
"Says who?"
"The director."
"Oh," Abby nodded. "Makes sense. I don't know her very well, but she doesn't seem like… like one of us. Not that I'm actually on the team, but I can't really see her wanting to hang-out with us after work or bringing me Caf-Pow! or anything like that."
"I'm just worried that it'll throw things off with McGee and Ziva again, you know? We've found a good spot." When the elevator doors opened, he stepped out and waited for Abby. "But don't worry; I'll make sure your Caf-Pow! delivery isn't interrupted."
"I appreciate it," Abby slipped her arm through Tony's as they headed for their cars. "I'll meet you at the food court in the mall, is that okay? I need a bite to eat before shopping. Take's a lot of energy, you know?"
"Sure. See ya there." Tony waited for Abby to pull out of the parking lot before following her out.
They met up and grabbed a quick sandwich in the food court before headed to Abby's favorite lingerie store. Tony wasn't nervous about shopping for underwear with Abby, but the idea that people might assume they were a couple both thrilled and scared him. What if someone assumed they were together and called them out? How would Abby respond? He frowned momentarily. How would Abby take it? Would just call him just a friend? What would people think of him then? Tony shook the thoughts from his mind. She wasn't his girlfriend, and it didn't matter what the others thought.
"Welcome to Luna, is there anything I can help you find?"
Abby waived off the sales woman as she approached. "Nah, I think I know what I want." As soon as they were out of earshot, Abby turned to Tony. "I love the stuff they sell here, but if you start talking to them, they never shut up."
Tony nodded. It was the same in some of the specialty shops he visited.
Abby brought him over to a wall of various pieces of lace he understood to be underwear – though why pay so much for so little was beyond him. He understood the sex appeal and quality usually meant higher prices, but still…ouch. Although the amount of lace varied by style, he figured they looked mostly the same. Abby picked up different ones in different shapes and colors and after ten minutes, with nothing selected, Tony wandered off while Abby made up her mind. By the time she had made up her mind she realized that Tony had been awfully quiet. "Tony…?"
She turned to find that he was across the store looking through various bra and panty sets. "Find something in your size?" She stepped up behind him silently, laughing when he jumped at the sound of her voice.
"Yeah, nothing in my style, maybe another time. Find what you want?" Tony reached for the handful of lace she was carrying.
"Yep." Abby held it just out of reach. "Guess I can't really model it for you here, but I could follow you home and give you a little peek?"
"I promised you new panties, so I'll get 'em." Tony wrestled them out of her hand and brought them to the counter. "Just be sure to keep track of how many I rip before I have to buy you more." Tony whispered as he paid. They headed back out to the parking lot and Tony hesitated. "So, uh… you're coming over?"
"If you want?" Abby dug around her purse for her keys. "I mean, if you're busy or have plans, that's fine."
"Well, I guess I could wait and wash my hair another time."
"Ok, then I'll see you back at yours." Abby lifted the small bag and smiled. "Thanks again."
"My pleasure."
They both pulled up to Tony's complex at the same time and Abby followed him up the stairs. When the door was unlocked, Abby slipped out of her coat and picked up the bag. "Alright, I promised a little fashion show. I'll be right back. You have a seat on the couch."
Tony grinned widely. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"No thanks," Abby called over her shoulder as she disappeared into his bedroom. She pulled her skirt off and changed into one of the lacy thongs she thought he would like. It didn't cover much of anything important and was mostly an inch wide section of lace that sat low on her hips. She opted to leave her shirt on, but slipped her bra off. It didn't take much before her nipples were hard and showing nicely through the plain white tee she was wearing. She let her hair down from her pigtails, scratching her fingers along her scalp to ease the tension. One quick shake of her head and she was ready. "Tony? You ready?"
"Oh yeah."
"I might need music." She shouted down the hall.
"Yeah? What kind?"
"Android Lust?"
"Abby!"
"Okay, okay… something southern…. Something-" When the gritty voice of Muddy Waters drifted through the apartment, Abby laughed. "Perfect." She slipped out of her boots and headed down the hall.
"Wowzers…." Tony couldn't contain the stupid grin on his face as Abby circled the coffee table, striking a pose every few steps. "Jesus." He shifted as he tried to hide his rapidly growing arousal at the sight of her.
"You like?" Abby wriggled her hips and sauntered over to straddle his lap. When his hands automatically moved to her hips she leaned down to roll her body against his. "Should I go try on a different color?"
"No.. no no…" Tony's grip tightened. "I think you're good where you're at."
"So, what do you think? They look okay?"
"You look amazing. Beyond amazing. Jesus Abby, I had no idea there was a sex goddess under those plaid skirts and hello kitty shirts. I mean, not that you aren't hot in those, but… wow. You belong on a billboard looking like this."
Abby laughed and dropped her hands to undo his pants. "Want to know the best part about these panties?" With one hand she pulled his wallet out, searching for the condom she knew he kept there.
"Uhh… you mean they do more than just look amazing on…." His words trailed off as Abby worked his dick free.
"Mm, hm…" She rolled the condom on with care and sat up. "You don't have to rip these off to get to what you want." She pulled the tiny bit of lace to the side and slid down over Tony, dropping her forehead to his with a happy little sigh.
"I think these are my favorite." Tony rolled his hips up against hers and tilted his face upward to kiss her. They moved fast and hard, and it was only a few minutes before Tony was pushing her over the edge with a well-timed flick of his finger over her swollen clit.
"Come on Tony, your turn." Abby nibbled along his neck as she continued to ride him hard, despite feeling weak from her own orgasm. "Come on pretty boy."
It didn't take much until his fingers were bruising her hips as he pushed up into her with one long, staggering thrust. He held her close to his chest as pleasure washed over him. "Best fashion show ever," he said once he could think clearly again, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Thanks."
"Welcome." Abby slowly slid off his lap and turned toward his bedroom. "I'm going to get cleaned up, and then you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure," Tony followed her to the bathroom to get cleaned up as well and to change into sweats. Abby pulled on the clothes she had been wearing earlier and found Tony on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. "Any preference on what we watch? Otherwise Tremors is on."
"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails…. I can't describe how awful that movie is. I love it."
"Abigail Sciuto, did you just quote a movie before I did? I can't decide what turns me on more, that or the panties you just showed me." Tony leaned in for a kiss, ignoring the way it felt so natural.
"You shouldn't be surprised. I can quote movies like the best of them, you just usually get the good lines before I do."
"My bad."
Though Abby was focused on the movie, Tony couldn't help but focus on the way she was curled up against him, the way her body was so warm and soft against his. Every so often he would glance up at the screen and comment, but for the most part he watched her – memorizing the small ways her features shifted during the movie. The way her eyes lit up and her smile grew infinitely wider before she laughed, and the way she startled just a little before the giant worms snapped at someone. If it hadn't been for the fact that he looked up just as the credits began to roll, he never would've noticed the movie ending.
"So awful, but so awesome at the same time."
"It is," Tony nodded. It was getting late and Tony stifled a yawn. "You, uh… you want to spend the night?" The idea of waking up next to her was more than appealing.
"Nah, I probably shouldn't. I have an early morning conference call with someone Ducky knows in Edinburgh. They have some questions on an article I wrote. So I'm doing breakfast with Ducky in the lab."
"Yum, let me know if there are any leftovers." He covered the hurt with a smile.
"I'm sure there will be. Stop in when you get to work."
"I will." Tony stood to walk her to the door.
Abby gathered her things and was almost to the door when her phone rang. "Hello? Oh… hey Scott… yeah, one second." She pressed up onto her toes to kiss Tony's cheek. "Thanks again," she held up the lingerie bag. "See you tomorrow."
Tony nodded.
"Okay Scott, I'm back…" Abby headed down the hallway, her phone pressed to her ear.
Tony shut the door and then leaned his forehead against it. Who was Scott? Why was he jealous? Why did he care so much about wanting her to spend the night? He knew he wasn't being fair to himself by continuing this 'friends with benefits' thing he had going on with Abby. But he didn't know how to stop it. He didn't know how he could explain to her how he felt, and he didn't think he could stop himself from being with her, despite the growing feelings he had for her. He could at least pretend for the few hours they were together that they really were together and for now that would have to be enough.
For a couple of weeks, Tony was mostly content with their hook ups two to three times a week. They mostly spend the weekends together, at his place or hers, doing the things they used to – playing video games, going to movies, grabbing a bite to eat, the only difference was the sex they had at the end (and sometimes beginning) of the day. When she came over during the week, he knew better than to ask her to stay and somehow, not having her say no made him feel a little better. He heard the name Scott a few more times, and with a little digging, found out that he was the guy she'd hired to take care of the landscape around her great-aunt's house.
He was mostly comfortable with his position in her life, but it still stung a little when she introduced him to the nuns as her friend and nothing more.
And then suddenly Ziva is wanted by the FBI and the easy status quo he had been living was turned upside down. Unsure of what he should do, it was clear that he needed Gibbs' help. He knew Ducky had the information, and he paced for 15 minutes outside of autopsy before going in to speak to Ducky.
"Anthony, my boy. What can I do for you?"
"I need help. I need that contact number Gibbs left for you. I need his help. Sort of a, what would Gibbs do moment."
Ducky hesitated. "I… I gave the number to Ziva when she called me."
"You've talked to Ziva?"
"She asked me to keep it a secret. Anyone caught helping her could be in a lot of trouble, she didn't want that on you."
Tony nodded. "So then she's talked to Gibbs?"
"I would assume so, yes."
"And…?"
"No idea. I haven't heard back from either of them. Probably for the best."
Again Tony nodded. "Except the FBI is taking over upstairs and they aren't going to give up until they find her. I believe she didn't kill those agents, but Slacks and his group of pound dogs upstairs are in a shoot first, ask later frame of mind. I've got to find her first. She didn't say anything about where she is?"
"Only that she was someplace safe for the time being."
Something clicked. "I know where she is. Thanks Ducky." Tony used the stairs to get to the parking garage. He took the long way to his destination, trying to shake any potential followers and then pulled up outside of Gibbs' house. He found both Gibbs and Ziva in the basement, going over everything she knew about the people she had seen and the agents that had been killed.
"Hey… hey boss." Tony was surprised at how happy he was to see Gibbs again.
"Do I still look like your boss to you?" Gibbs was serious a moment before a grin spread across his face. "Good to see you DiNozzo."
"Heh… yeah, you too." Tony couldn't remember ever having seen Gibbs smile so openly like that except for Abby.
Abby.
Tony wanted to hit his head against the wall. "So uh, you back now?"
"Nope. Here for a friend. That's all."
"You coming into the office?"
"Yeah," Gibbs turned to Ziva. "You going to be okay here for a bit? We need to see if there is a finger print match for this guy." He pointed to the blurry photo on the laptop that Ziva had taken.
"Hey Abbs, you got a finger print match yet?"
"Not yet, Gibbs. I've got-" Abby stopped and turned slowly. "Gibbs?"
"Hi."
"I…" Abby turned to look at Tony with wide eyes and then back at Gibbs. "I'm… What are you doing here? Where have you..?" She threw herself at him, pressing her face to his neck and inhaling his comforting scent. "I thought I'd never see you again!"
When Gibbs had all but disappeared from the DC area, Abby had been sure she would never see him again. Though he had left behind most of his possessions, everything was packed up, waiting to be shipped off to some unknown address.
Gibbs wrapped his arms around her tightly, glancing at Tony before letting his eyes drift shut at the familiar sensation of Abby's body against his. "Had to get away. Had to re-learn who I was."
"But you remember? Who you were? Who you are?"
"Getting there. Still have some grey areas. I remember a lot about my early years at NCIS. Kate. Ari. Ziva joining. Everything around the explosion is fuzzy. The time before, months maybe a year..? I don't know, it's blurry."
"I… I'll be in the squad room. Take your time." Tony backed out of the lab to give them some privacy. As much as they needed the information to help Ziva, he could see that there was some unfinished business that Gibbs and Abby needed to talk about.
"What about… what about us?"
"What about us?" Gibbs cocked his head to the side, his brow slightly furrowed. "Don't worry, you're still the favorite. Haven't forgotten the Caf-Pow! either." He pointed to the fridge by the door.
Allowing herself to be momentarily distracted from what she wanted to know, her eyes widened. She and Tony had heard nothing. Never underestimate the power of a prowling Gibbs. "Of course you'd remember my Caf-Pow!.You wouldn't be Gibbs if you didn't," she smiled sadly.
"Was there something else..?" He could see something troubling her.
Abby hesitated a moment, unsure if it was the time or place to say what she needed to say. But Gibbs deserved the truth. "We were in a relationship before you exploded."
All he heard was relationship and exploded, but the look on her face filled in the blanks. "Abbs…" He didn't know what to do with himself. His first instinct was to reach out to her, but he didn't know if that was because she looked upset, or if that's what he would've done. And if it really was an instinct, was it because of their relationship or because she looked so fragile.
"You don't remember. It's okay."
"Abby." He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. The way she shrugged it off, but was so clearly hurt, amplified the guilt he felt in his gut.
"You were in an explosion, you had a head injury. It's okay. It'll take some time. It's okay." She smiled softly, trying to ease the tension she saw in his shoulders and the look of worry on his face.
"I… I don't know what to say. I don't remember…"
"You don't have to say anything. I'm not trying to force anything on you, not trying to make you remember, I just want… I just want you to know how I feel. I'm okay with waiting for you to figure things out." She turned back to her computer, desperate to move things along.
"I'm not back Abbs. Ziva needs my help and after that, I'm leaving again, back to Mexico. I shouldn't even be at NCIS, the FBI is likely watching."
"You're what?" Abby spun around. "But we need you. I need you."
"No you don't. You guys are doing fine."
"Fine? Ziva is wanted by the FBI for something she didn't do. Mossad isn't helping her. Tony is trying to keep us all together and I…" she shook her head. "You walked away and left us to deal with the outcome. We're not fine."
"You saying Tony isn't doing a good job?"
"No! That's not what I'm saying, I'm saying that it's not the same. We're not the same, none of us are," she turned away from him again.
"Abby..."
"Ziva needs you. You said so yourself, you shouldn't be here." She expected him to say something – what, she wasn't sure – but when she turned around a few moments later, Gibbs was gone.
By the time Tony and Ziva had wrapped up with the director, and the evidence safely packed away, they headed for the squad room in search of Gibbs. "Yo, special senior agent McGee… where's Gibbs?"
"He… he left."
"Uh, no. Not possible. He hasn't even said goodbye. Maybe he's in Abby's lab."
McGee shook his head. "I just came from there. He's gone. Didn't say goodbye to her either."
Tony squeezed his eyes shut. He was hurt that Gibbs hadn't said goodbye, but he knew it would hurt Abby even worse. "You're sure?"
"Yeah."
"Tony, you might want to…" Ziva nodded toward the back elevator, hinting he should check on Abby.
"I wouldn't if I were you. In fact, I doubt she's still here. When I was down there… she didn't want any company and I think she was shutting things down to get out of here."
She didn't believe him when he said he was leaving again, she didn't want to believe him. As soon as she wrapped up in her lab, Abby raced over to Gibbs' house, determined to stop him before he could walk out of her life again. If she had known he was going to disappear the first time, she never would have left him out of her sight. She wasn't going to let him walk away again. She could handle him not remembering their relationship – that was okay. What she and Tony had was… it was good and fun and playful and safe and… and it wasn't Gibbs. Even if they weren't romantically involved, she needed Gibbs in her life. Needed.
Her heart quickened when she saw his car in the driveway. Maybe I'm not too late. Maybe he's still here. Gibbs hadn't been cleared to drive the last time he left, so he'd had Ducky drive him to the airport. But now that he could drive, she had high hopes that she had arrived in time to stop him.
She came to a tire screeching halt in front of Gibbs' house and barely had her car in park before she was hurrying up the front; she was surprised to find the door locked. "Gibbs! Open up," she shouted as she pounded on the door. "Let me in." When she got no response she dug her keys out of her bag and selected the one for Gibbs' house. He had given her a key soon after their relationship started. Once she started spending the night, he'd decided on locking his doors to ease his mind when it came to keeping her safe. As soon as she was inside she moved room to room, shouting his name. She didn't wipe at the tears that spilled onto her cheeks as it slowly sunk in that he was gone, instead she focused on finding a clue as to where in Mexico he was headed.
"Damn you." When she found nothing she slumped against the wall and slowly lowered herself to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and curling up as tight as possible. Even if he didn't remember their relationship, he remembered her. If he remembered her, then he had to remember how much he cared about her. Why would he leave her like this? The Gibbs she knew would never hurt her. She allowed herself to cry until she had no more tears left to fall.
She looked around at the house. His things were still there, though mostly packed in boxes, and she felt as though it couldn't be more empty. She slowly got to her feet and headed to the basement. She wanted to hate him, wanted to ruin the boat she knew she would find down there. She wasn't surprised to see most everything in the basement untouched. She circled the boat, wondering what she would need to break it apart. As she moved past the end of it, she pulled the sheet that had been covering half of it to the floor.
The second time she circled around she saw the bold, black letters spelling KELLY across the back. She traced the letters gently, allowing herself to imagine him alone in the basement with his bourbon, using soft, short strokes to paint his daughters name.
"Oh Gibbs," Abby sighed and suddenly she understood. While she would never know the loss of a wife and daughter, she couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that Gibbs felt. She remembered the guilt he had felt when they lost Kate, but being in danger was part of her job. He had been the one that was supposed to be in danger when he was overseas, not his wife and daughter.
She felt the anger slowly drain from her body, replaced with an overwhelming sense of grief. Greif for Gibbs – she had seen how beyond upset he had been when he woke up and relived the loss of his wife and daughter - and a sense of grief for herself at losing Gibbs to his inner demons; a fight she had thought she could win. She knew he loved her, or he had before, but she couldn't help but wonder if part of the relationship was a transfer of his guilt at not protecting them. Had he felt the need to protect her to make up for what he hadn't been able to do before? Slowly she found herself understanding why he had left everything behind to start over.
She didn't know Franks well, but from the few times she had spoken to him, she could tell that he cared about Gibbs and would watch out for him. She turned to the work bench and looked for anything that would tell her where in Mexico he was. She dug through drawers filled with old tools and sawdust, and opened boxes of nails and cobwebs. She was almost ready to give up when her fingers brushed something smooth on the top shelf, just out of her line of sight. She stretched a little further until she could grasp it with her fingertips and pull it down.
It turned out to be an old wooden frame. She turned it over slowly and stared down at the photo of the young, happy family standing in the driveway. A much younger looking Gibbs smiled back at her, his arm wrapped tightly around a pretty redhead who Abby assumed was Shannon. His other arm was wrapped around a little girl with eyes as blue as his. They all looked happy, but his grasp on them was possessive. They returned the hug, both with their arms wrapped tightly around him. "You were so happy…" Abby traced her fingers over each of their faces and then went on her toes again to put the photo back where she'd found it. She moved back to the boat, draping the sheet over it once again, pressing her palm to the sanded wood one last time.
"Bye Gibbs."
Abby wasn't surprised that people left her alone for the weekend, and she was thankful that she could wallow in her own self-pity, only changing from her PJ's to go to the store for ice cream and a few basics. But once Monday rolled around again, she was mostly back to herself, and ready to move on with her life. Tony had approached first thing Monday morning to ask if she wanted to talk about it and when she said no, he respected it and nothing more was said. Tuesday evening saw the entire team (plus Jimmy, minus Michelle) out for drinks, and at the end of the night, Tony and Abby both sated in his bed.
"Tony…?" Abby snuggled into his side.
"Hmm?" This was where she kissed him goodbye and thanked him for a good evening.
"Can I stay?"
Tony's eyes shot open and he glanced down at the mess of black hair across his shoulder. "Of course," he tried not to sound too eager. "I'll set the alarm a bit early so I can drop you off at your place so you can change."
"Mmkay." Abby pressed a kiss to his chest and moments later she was asleep.
While Abby slept, Tony lay awake memorizing the way her body felt against his, the way every so often she would sigh contentedly or mumble something he couldn't understand. Every so often he would drift off only to wake when she stirred. By the time his alarm went off he hadn't slept more than a few hours, but he was happy and content. The next couple of weeks progressed with much of the same. They kept things professional at work, and went out with the team, but at the same time they ended up going home together, and spent the night at one of their apartments together.
One night, at NCIS, Tony was barking orders at everyone. They had been dealing with a missing child and despite having found the little girl, the emotional effects still weighed heavily on them all. Eventually Abby managed get the rest of the team out of the lab so she could talk to Tony.
"Hey… what's with you? You got the asshole that took Sara, and she's safe with her parents again." Abby guided him to the back office and pushed him into the chair before perching on the desk. "Tony?"
"I don't… I'm just tired."
"I know. We all are, but you don't usually snap at Ziva, McGee… hell, you never snap at me just because you're tired. What else is going on in that brain of yours?"
Tony lifted his head to look at her. "Nothing… nothing a weekend off won't cure. If you're done with the physical evidence, you can go."
"Are you almost done?"
"An hour, maybe two. Then I'll be done."
"Come over when you're done?"
"Abby…" Tony shook his head sadly. "I can't."
"Oh, okay. Well, maybe tomorrow we can-"
"No. I can't keep pretending I'm okay with what we're doing."
"With what we're…" Abby trailed off.
"I want more Abby, I want so much more." Tony stood and paced as he tried to get the words right. "You're my best friend and I don't want things to be awkward between us, so I think we need to chill out with spending so much time together until I can get myself under control. Please don't be mad at me. Please." He dropped back into the chair and bent forward to cover his face with his hands.
"Is this why you've been so… insufferable this week? Why wouldn't you say anything sooner?"
"Oh right, because, hey Abby… I've been thinking. I love you a lot more than just as a friend. Just thought I'd put that out there, would go over real well."
Abby's gaze softened and she crossed the small office, leaning down to kiss him sweetly on the lips. "You're coming over when you finish up here. This isn't a conversation for work."
Unable to say no, Tony nodded and then headed upstairs to wrap up the paperwork and send the rest of his team home. Abby had gone home shortly after he left her lab, and he felt bad for his small outburst in her lab. He would go over and try to downplay it as stress from the case. He stopped and picked up a black rose and a Caf-Pow! for her on his way over.
Abby opened the door to him with a smile when he handed her the flower and Caf-Pow!
"Sorry about earlier, I… It's been a long, stressful week."
"I know." Abby waved him in and shut the door. "But Tony… I need you to be honest with me."
"Sure."
"What you said… about us. Do you want to cool things off for a while, or..?"
"Remember what you told me when we first started?"
Abby laughed, "Tony I said a lot of things, you're going to need to narrow it down beyond that."
"You didn't want anything serious, and I… I do. With you. I'm not saying I want to flaunt a relationship with you around at work, but I want to go out to dinner with my girlfriend, and know that we're going to spend the night or the weekend or… or whatever together. I… for the first time, well, ever. I want commitment. Not exactly DiNozzo style, I know, but I can't help it."
"Tony," Abby started as she moved to the couch, curling up around an oversized pillow. She waited for him to sit beside her before continuing. "Isn't that what we've been doing? You're right… when we first started seeing each other I was in no place for any type of commitment, but I… I'm not seeing anyone else, and I don't want too. We spend four nights a week together and most weekends. I don't know what else I can give you. I mean, I'll always need a night alone here and there, because sometimes I just need quiet, you know?"
"Commitment, I guess. But you said…"
"That was over three months ago. But don't you see? I've already committed to you." Abby moved the pillow aside so she could sit closer. "We've just never put a title on it, but if you want…" She hadn't realized an official title on what they were was something Tony wanted so badly. "I don't want to lose you because you're worried I'm only doing this until someone else comes along."
"So I could take you back to Luna Lingerie and say, my girlfriend needs new panties. I keep ripping the ones she's got?"
"Theoretically, yes. But it's really not that much effort for me to slip out of them either. And Tony, I… If we're going to do this, us, seriously, it needs to stay out of NCIS. You're the boss and I know I'm not an agent, but…"
"Understand."
"And hey, wipe that smirk off your face." Abby cupped his face in her hands and squished his cheeks together.
"I can't help it." Tony pushed forward to kiss her, nipping her lower lip.
"Nothing has changed, Tony. We're still us, I can't believe you've been so stressed about… about nothing."
"Maybe nothing has changed for you, but for weeks I'd want you to spend the night but never asked because I didn't want to seem too eager and scare you off."
"You don't need to walk on eggshells around me, Tony. If I didn't want to be here, with you… I wouldn't. Ok, well, this is my place, so you wouldn't be here, but, whatever. I'm not going to lie, there will be nights where I don't want to come over. Not because I'm mad or am changing my mind, but sometimes I just need quiet."
"S'okay. Sometimes I need some alone time too."
"Some solo time with Magnum P.I.?"
"Mmm," Tony leaned forward again to nuzzle at her ear. "Got to keep our bromance going strong."
Abby shivered when his teeth scraped gently along her neck. "Anything you'd like to share regarding your bromance with Magnum? Anything I should know?"
"Nope."
When his hands started moving under her shirt Abby gently pushed him off. "I'm hungry, I haven't had dinner yet, and I'm assuming with the day, hell, week we've had, you haven't either."
"Not hungry, want you." Tony nosed his way down her neck to kiss her throat.
"Well, lover-boy, then you'll have to sit here and want me alone because I want food." She worked herself free and headed for the kitchen, smiling when she heard him following behind.
"I can whip up a quick PBJ?"
Abby rolled her eyes. "You're Italian and all you can whip up is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I might have to rethink this serious commitment thing we've got going on."
"Hey now, DiNozzo men can whip up magic in the kitchen. But you're hungry and I'm horny. I'm trying to compromise here."
Abby rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Put some olive oil in the pan, I've got some chicken here. You cook those and I'll whip up a salad. That okay?"
"Sure, but Abby?"
"Hmm?" Abby turned to him from where she stood inspecting her refrigerator.
Tony wrapped his fingers around her wrist and tugged her close. "I uh… I just wanted to tell you that, I uh… I love you." He could feel his cheeks flush with his whispered announcement.
"I'm sorry, Mr DiNozzo… I couldn't quite hear that, could you repeat?" Abby asked with a smile. When he blushed further, she leaned into his arms for a hug and rested her chin on his shoulder.
"You heard me."
"Mm, I did. And I love you too. You know that, right?"
"I do now."
"And I'd love you more if you get started on that chicken." She pulled out of his arms with a quick kiss to his cheek and spun away to take the things she needed for a salad out of the fridge. At his pretend pout she laughed and pointed a fork in his direction. "Come on, a girl who likes to eat? I should be your biggest fantasy. Although wait, don't you have a rule about that?"
"Never date a girl that eats more than you."
Abby thought for a moment. "Yeah, no... I think we're still okay."
"The day you eat more than me will never happen," Tony eyed her appreciatively. "And I know you can eat a lot."
They fell into a relaxed mood as they cooked, ate dinner and cleaned up together. Tony felt completely at ease over the fact that they were now on the same page. He hadn't meant to say those three little words, but seeing her so at ease with him and so happy, he hadn't been able to hold it in. As she chattered on about something scientific that he didn't understand (he slowly understood how Gibbs must have felt), he found himself just watching the way she moved, the way she spoke… every little detail.
"Tony?"
"Hm?" He met her gaze with a smile.
"Everything okay?"
"Perfect. Can I take you to bed yet?"
Over the next few weeks they fell into an easy routine of keeping things casual at work (no one suspected anything when she threw her arms around him at work – she did the same to everyone), and then spending three nights a week together at her place during the week and most of the weekend at his place. Gradually a few of her things drifted over to his place, and soon she had cleared a drawer for him.
On one particular evening, Abby had been overly quiet, causing Tony to worry. Then, just before he could ask her what was wrong she produce a file with her medical records.
"Tony, it's up to you, but I uh… I'm clean and on the birth control pill, so if you wanted to skip the condoms, it's okay with me."
Tony stared at her a moment, processing what she'd said. No one had ever trusted him like that before and it both shocked an amazed him. "I uh… wow, Abby."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I just… you know… so you don't have to keep buying them. But if you want to, it's totally okay."
"No no," Tony directed her to the couch and sat down before pulling her onto his lap. "I've just never taken that step in a relationship before. I'll have my records for you tomorrow."
"If you say you're clean, I trust you. I know that you have blood tests every six months for work."
"But don't you want to be sure... I would just feel better if I could show you."
"You're not used to having people put some much trust in you, are you?"
"You've just now figured that out?"
Abby ran her fingers through his hair, a soft smile on her face. "No, but I'm trying to make a difference."
"You are."
"Good. I trust you Tony, and I want you to trust that I trust you." She leaned in for a gentle kiss and then got up. "Come on, it's late. I'm tired."
Tony didn't push for sex, but instead lay awake worried that maybe if by wanting to show her his records she worried that he was unsure and was going for a quick test first thing in the morning. The next day he went right to Ducky to get a copy, and had it on her desk before she could finish her first Caf-Pow of the morning.
"That was quick," she laughed when she flipped the file open to see what it was. "Don't expect a lunch time quickie, even though that sounds kind of nice."
"What sounds nice?" McGee interrupted and then nodded to Tony. "Morning boss."
"Wild sex in the elevator," Abby sighed, smirking at the deep red that spread across McGee's face. "Oh come on, Timmy. I'm just playing with you. Tony offered to get me a second Caf-Pow!"
"I… uh, oh…yeah, ok."
"Grow up," Tony smacked the back of his head and gave Abby grin when McGee turned away. The day was easy by their standards and when Tony pulled up outside of Abby's apartment he was completely at ease. The smell of whatever she'd picked up for dinner on the way home was a scent trail to her front door and Tony let himself in with the key she'd given him a while back. "Smells delicious."
"Just a roast chicken from the grocery store."
"I was talking about you." Tony tossed his jacket over the arm of the couch and found Abby in the kitchen. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, nibbling at her neck until she laughed. "Ziva thinks I've found a new college girl for the weekend. Says I've been too agreeable, letting McGee get away with making fun of me."
"You better not have found a college girl for the weekend. I have big plans!"
"You do, do you? Can I bring my college girl with?"
"Was thinking we should have a movie marathon and pizza and… yeah, be lazy. We've got the weekend off, right?"
"Sounds perfect. I'm going to a baseball game with an old frat brother on Friday after work, but Meg and I will be over after. Shouldn't be too late."
"You and Meg?" Abby turned in his arms and looked at him with a raised brow.
Tony nodded. "Yeah, my college girlfriend. Her name is Meg I've decided."
"Let me guess. Blonde, big boobs, sorority-type?"
"So you've met?"
Abby turned back to the food she was preparing and laughed. "No, but I overheard Ziva and McGee gossiping about her."
"You know I'm just playing around, right?"
"Yep," Abby answered cheerfully. "Just like I'm playing around with the gardener here at my complex."
"Yeah, well… if he wants to come take care of the lawn around my building, then I think I can overlook the action you're getting on the side."
After dinner Abby managed to convince Tony that a bubble bath together would be a good idea. No sex, not in the tub (esp. not after that one time…) but she told him it would be a great way to relax. Then they could dry off and move things to the bedroom. Tony protested wildly about the scent of the bubble bath as Abby poured more than necessary in, but as soon as she started to strip, Tony wasn't far behind. Abby lay back in his arms and the water came up to her breasts, just barely keeping her nipples out of sight from Tony.
"You know, I'm going to have a hell of a time explaining to Ziva why you and I smell the same tomorrow."
"Nah, I'll wear my gunpowder perfume. Tell 'em you spent the night with Meg."
By the time they finished they were both warm and sluggish. Neither of them bothered with any clothes once they were dried off as they climbed into bed. Abby smiled warmly at him as he moved closer. That night Tony couldn't help but be gentle, almost to the point where Abby was in tears with how much she needed him.
"Tony, please…"
"Not yet baby doll… not yet." He touched her softly and slowly, tasting every inch of her skin. Finally, when he wasn't sure how long he could hold on, did give her what she needed. They were a mess of sweaty limbs when they fell asleep, not bothering to clean up or change the sheets.
The rest of the week they spent mostly apart. Abby had plans with the nuns Wednesday and Thursday and Friday Tony met up with his friend. He was thrilled he was able to fill in his old buddy about his amazing girlfriend, using his phone to pull up a photo of her.
"Whoa, dude, a goth? Your taste has changed since college."
"She's the happiest little goth you'll ever meet." Tony grinned at his friend Michael. They had been the best of friends all through college and even with a several hour drive between them, they caught up fairly regularly. He dropped his gaze back to the photo of Abby on his phone.
"You think she's the one?"
"The one for what?" Tony looked up sharply.
"You know, white picket fence, two kids, a dog…?"
"I… I don't know if that's what I want anymore. I thought I did, but now…? And I don't think it's what she wants either. I'm just happy that we're together. We go out, we stay in… she sees her friends, I see mine. But I know I've got a warm bed waiting for me."
"Whatever floats your boat, dude. I'm happy for you."
"Yeah, thanks man." They parted ways and Tony couldn't help but drive to Abby's with a giant smile on his face.
Saturday morning, even though she woke up wrapped in Tony's arms, she felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. Not quite the same as the morning before Gibbs was caught up in the explosion, but something felt off. The day before Tony had suggested heading downtown for the afternoon, but with the way she felt, she wasn't going to risk going anywhere.
"You're thinking too loud, go back to sleep."
Abby rolled over and buried deeper into his arms, pressing her face against his warm chest. "Just thinking about how happy I am that we've finally got an entire weekend free."
"Mmm think about it later. Sleep now, you'll need your energy later."
After a rambunctious round of morning sex and one shared hot shower later, Tony was dragging Abby out the door for brunch at her favorite diner. Afterward, they headed to a nearby park for a stroll through the sunshine.
"What's with you today? Been awhile since I've seen you so quiet."
"I don't know, I just woke up feeling… off, you know?"
"Sick?" Tony went pale.
"No. NO!" Abby shook her head. "Nothing like that. I just can't shake this weird feeling."
"You… you're sure?"
"I would tell you if that was my concern."
"Oh. Sort of like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop?"
"Yeah, I guess." Abby followed him to a park bench and they sat down. "Tell me more about your visit with your friend. What was his name? Michael? Did Meg hangout with you two?"
Tony laughed. "Yeah, she was a big hit. We just caught up on the past year. He's had some bad luck with women lately, so he just wanted to get away and have some fun."
They chatted awhile longer and then headed back for Tony's car. The drive back to Abby's place was quick, and when they got back, they both headed to the bedroom to change into something more suitable for curling up on the couch for the evening. Abby grabbed the shirt Tony had been wearing and shorts. The shirt fell to mid-thigh, and if she curled up next to him, she could tuck her knees inside.
Seeing that he wasn't getting his shirt back, Tony decided to go without, and instead just grabbed a pair of sweats.
When the doorbell rang, Abby handed Tony her beer and pushed off the couch. "Three more minutes and our pizza would've been free. Does it count if I make him wait for three minutes at the front door?"
"No. I've tried." Tony slapped her ass to get her moving. "Only makes for an angry pizza delivery dude. Then they fuck with your pizza. Not. Good."
Abby tugged the oversized Ohio State shirt down past the small shorts she was wearing headed for the front door. No need to give the pizza boy a free show. The doorbell rang again and Abby grabbed Tony's wallet from the small table beside the door "I'm coming, I'm coming." She opened the door, a twenty dollar bill in her hand. "Hey…"
Seeing Gibbs in the doorway, Abby felt her heart seize and her knees tremble. "Gibbs?"
"I remember."
TBC..
*smirk*
